A girl always needs a little love - Z. Timol (any book recommendations txt) 📗

but couldn't figure it out, they seemed to think it was a personal matter. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong but she wouldn't let it out. She was getting thinner and weaker. I watched my daughter fade away right in front of my eyes. Eventually one day, she had her final panic attack. I lost my daughter, I lost my life. I tried to calm her down but she wouldn't, she ran around the room shouting ''You broke my heart! You messed me up! I hate you!''. I grabbed her by the arm and hugged her tightly. She sobbed and sobbed, telling me that she couldn't live like this. I told her that everything was okay and that she was strong. She told me she loved me and she sobbed one more time, I thought she stopped crying so I lifted her telling her ''There you go, mommy told you that you were strong''. But she didn't reply, she wasn't there anymore. She was gone and she took my happiness with her. I didn't want the same thing to happen to Lizzie. She was just like Teresa, she hid it all inside and then let it out in one blow, all together. A few years later Caroline came into my life. She was the perfect one for my son. She was nothing like Teresa but I loved her the same, she brought light back into my life. And when she had Lizzie, I felt like Teresa had returned, they looked the same and acted the same, but I never wanted this to happen to Lizzie. It just can't. I lost both my daughters and husband. I just can't manage to lose anymore. I try to keep Lizzie under control. And I'm hoping that she won't have any more of these attacks. I walked over to the bed and held her hand in mine, she was cold so I covered her with another blanket.

 

''Hello Mrs.Grace'' the doctor walked in

''Hello, any news?'' I asked hopefully

''Well, it seems like she's experiencing another coma and we have no idea how long it will last. We will just have to wait and see''

''Will she be okay?''

''I can't promise you anything, I'm so sorry'' he said and walked out

 

I looked at her. Please stay with me, my life, my sunshine.

 

My daughter.

Awake once again!

 LIZZIE'S POV

 

I could hear beeping again. Oh no, don't tell me I'm in a hospital again. I opened my eyes and tried to adjust to the light, there was a white ceiling and drips above me, yes, the hospital. Why, though? My head hurt like hell. And those noises were only making it worse. I tried to get up but I couldn't, my body was stiff. I tried to think back on what happened, last I was in the bathroom at the ice cream shop. How the hell did I get here and why? I tried calling for someone but all I could do was croak. It was useless. I laid there waiting for someone to come.

 

''I'm a star, I will go far, be happy, don't be snappy. Love yourself, love the world. You are brave, you are a wonderful girl. Close your eyes and imagine the best, don't cry, you shall pass this test. Take a breath and smile as wide as you can. Chase away the devil by hitting him hard with a frying pan.''

 

I sang that over and over. It was something that my mom taught me when I was small, when I got angry or depressed, she would always sing this to me. And then we'd take frying pans and imagine that we were chasing all the bad luck and sadness away. It always worked. And when she was angry or crying, I would sing it for her and we would end up laughing and running around the room. It was our little secret. My mom would always do anything to keep me from getting upset or angry. I never knew why. I think it was something that she experienced before in her life. I wasn't sure but I did get hints. I was walking past my parent's bedroom one night and I heard them talking, my mom was crying.

 

********

 

''Shhhh, stop crying Caroline, it's going to be alright. Don't worry'' my dad was saying

''I just get so frightened when she get's sad, I can't help it. You know what happened Joseph. I've seen it, the way she used to become, it would scare the soul out of me. I don't want that to happen to Lizzie. She's too precious to go through that in life.'' mom cried

''It doesn't happen to everyone, listen to me, darling, Lizzie is a strong girl, she'll fight it'' dad said

 

I was confused, I didn't know what was happening. I hated seeing my mom cry like this, it would just break my heart. I knocked on the door and stepped in.

 

''Mommy? Why are you crying? Please don't cry'' I whispered

''Oh sweety, don't worry'' mom hugged me

''Your mummy is just a bit sad, she'll be alright just now'' daddy told me

''Did I make mommy sad?''

''Oh no, not you honey, nobody did'' 

 

Dad tried to pick me up but I walked away, I went to the kitchen and took out two frying pans. I went back to the room and gave mommy one.

 

''I'm a star, I will go far, be happy, don't be snappy. Love yourself, love the world. You are brave, you are a wonderful girl. Close your eyes and imagine the best, don't cry, you shall pass this test. Take a breath and smile as wide as you can. Chase away the devil by hitting him hard with a frying pan'' I sang

 

She smiled and started singing with me, soon we were running around the room with frying pans in our hands. Daddy even joined in but he had a pink pillow. We laughed and then plopped down on the bed, all three of us

 

''Come here, you little angel'' mommy hugged me tightly

''I love you, don't you ever forget that'' she whispered

''I love you too mommy, don't you ever forget that too''

 

********

 

I haven't forgotten mom, I haven't at all. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I grabbed a tissue, thankful that it was within reach, I wiped my face. I try so hard to be happy, for my families sake, for my sake. I just can't manage all this stress. I tried calling for someone again, but I was still croaking and now even more because I was crying. I need water. A few minutes later I heard footsteps and grandma walked in, followed by Linda and her mother, Marcus and his dad and the doctor.

 

''Lizzie! You're awake! Thank goodness, I was so worried'' grandma cried, hugging the life out of me.

''Grandma, grandma. I can't breath'' I croaked

''What did you say?'' she said, letting go of me

''Nothing''

''Oh you poor angel, you've lost your voice'' she said

''Hey Lizzie'' Linda and Marcus came walking towards me

''Hey guys''

''Man you look awful'' Linda said

''Thanks a lot'' 

''Just joking. How are you feeling?''

''I'm fine, can...''

 

But just as I was about to ask why I was here. Linda's mom came to hug me and Mr.Mathews. Their hugs, however, were much lighter.

 

''I'm so glad you're ok'' Mrs.Grey smiled

''We all are'' Mr.Mathew squeezed my hand

''Thank you all'' I smiled

 

The doctor took my temperature and checked me up. He nodded and then wrote something on his clipboard.

 

''You look fine, I just hope this doesn't happen again''

''Um, excuse me? Can you tell me why I'm here at the hospital again?'' I asked

 

They all stared at me like I said something strange, I gave them a questioning look.

 

''Oh oh, she lost her recent memory'' the doctor sighed

''Lost my memory? I remember everything! You're talking crazy'' I said

''Mrs.Grace why don't you tell her?''

 

But grandma was too much in tears to talk, I sighed and looked at Linda, she seemed speechless too. What the hell?

 

''Lizzie'' Marcus started

''Oh you're going to tell me? Grateful that one of you can talk''

''Calm down. Listen, you kind of had a panic attack. You..''

''A panic attack? What's that?''

''It's a case in where your body starts losing control, your heart starts beating fast, you breathe heavily, you're full of fear and everything goes blur'' the doctor explained

 

I didn't get it at first but then I slowly started to remember. I was in the bathroom, I went mad. I lost control. My mom! She was there, she told me not to hurt myself. I remembered it all. I had a panic attack. I.. I went crazy, I didn't stay in control. Why? Why me? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I can't let this happen again. Linda gave me some water and I gulped it down. 

 

''I'm sorry that I ruined your day yesterday guys'' I said

''Last week'' Linda said

''What last week?''

''It happened last week, you were unconscious for a week Liz''

''This is so bad, why is this happening to me? It never happened before'' I sniffed

''It's ok, we're going to try to fix it'' the doctor smiled

''Thank you'' I croaked, my voice was coming back, slowly.

''Any time, we took blood tests and X-rays. we'll get back to you in a weeks time with the results. For now, you can go home and rest. Don't over work yourself.'' he said and walked out

 

Great.

 

 

 

Postponed

 When I was younger, I never really went to the hospital a lot, mom said I was lucky that I was healthy. Even when I got sick, it was just the flu and would last for a day or two. But sometimes I got irritated because all the other children got to stay home from school when they were sick, so when I did get sick I would make sure that I was absent from school. I don't ever remember being put on drips or getting any treatment. But I guess all this makes up for that time, I seem to be coming to the hospital much more these days. And it doesn't feel good, it's scary and I know this is not a joke. I'm all grown up now and I understand the consequences that I have to endure. I need to be strong, not only for me but for everybody around me. Especially grandma, she's got way too much pressure in her life and she's old, she's got her own health to deal with. I sighed and looked out the window, we were on our way home. The others had gone, promising to come visit later. I was