Stella Fregelius - H. Rider Haggard (e book reader pdf .TXT) š
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She laughed at his temper; then grew serious, and said:
āDonāt get angry, Morris. After all, there are lots of things that you and I canāt understand, and it isnāt odd that you should have tumbled across one of them. If you think of it, nobody understands anything. They know that certain things happen, and how to make them happen; but they donāt know why they happen, or why, as in your case, when they ought to happen, they wonāt.ā
āIt is all very well for you to be philosophical,ā he answered, turning upon her; ābut canāt you see, Mary, that the thing there is my lifeās work? It is what I have given all my strength and all my brain to make, and if it fails in the endāwhy, then I fail too, once and forever. And I have made it talk. It talked perfectly between this place and Seaview, and now you stand there and tell me that it wonāt work any more because I donāt understand you. Then what am I to do?ā
āTry to understand me, if you think it worth while, which I donāt; or go on experimenting,ā she answered. āTry to find some substance which is less exquisitely sensitive, something a little grosser, more in key with the material world; or to discover someone whom you do understand. Donāt lose heart; donāt be beaten after all these years.ā
āNo,ā he answered, āI donāt unless I die,ā and he turned to go.
āMorris,ā she said, in a softer voice, āI am lazy, I know. Perhaps that is why I adore people who can work. So, although you donāt think anything of me, I will do my honest best to get into sympathy with you again; yes, and to help in any way I can. No; itās not a joke. I would give a great deal to see the thing a success.ā
āWhy do you say I donāt think anything of you, Mary? Of course, it isnāt true. Besides, you are my cousin, and we have always been good friends since you were a little thing.ā
She laughed. āYes, and I suppose that as you had no brothers or sisters they taught you to pray for your cousin, didnāt they? Oh, I know all about it. It is my unfortunate sex that is to blame; while I was a mere tom-boy it was different. No one can serve two masters, can they? You have chosen to serve a machine that wonāt go, and I daresay that you are wise. Yes, I think that it is the better partāuntil you find someone that will make it goāand then you would adore herāby aerophone!ā
CHAPTER II THE COLONEL AND SOME REFLECTIONS
Presently Morris heard a step upon the lawn, and turned to see his father sauntering towards him. Colonel Monk, C.B., was an elderly man, over sixty indeed, but still of an upright and soldierly bearing. His record was rather distinguished. In his youth he had served in the Crimea, and in due course was promoted to the command of a regiment of Guards. After this, certain diplomatic abilities caused him to be sent to one of the foreign capitals as military attache, and in reward of this service, on retiring, he was created a Companion of the Bath. In appearance he was handsome also; in fact, much better looking than his son, with his iron-grey hair, his clear-cut features, somewhat marred in effect by a certain shiftiness of the mouth, and his large dark eyes. Morris had those dark eyes alsoāthey redeemed his face from plainness, for otherwise it showed no beauty, the features being too irregular, the brow too prominent, and the mouth too large. Yet it could boast what, in the case of a man at any rate, is better than beautyāspirituality, and a certain sympathetic charm. It was not the face which was so attractive, but rather the intelligence, the personality that shone through it, as the light shines through the horn panes of some homely, massive lantern. Speculative eyes of the sort that seem to search horizons and gather knowledge there, but shrink from the faces of women; a head of brown hair, short cut but untidy, an athletic, manlike form to which, bizarrely enough, a slight stoop, the stoop of a student, seemed to give distinction, and hands slender and shapely as those of an Easternāsuch were the characteristics of Morris Monk, or at least those of them that the observer was apt to notice.
āHullo! Morris, are you star-gazing there?ā said Colonel Monk, with a yawn. āI suppose that I must have fallen asleep after dinnerāthat comes of stopping too long at once in the country and drinking port. I notice you never touch it, and a good thing, too. There, my cigar is out. Nowās the time for that new electric lighter of yours which I can never make work.ā
Morris fumbled in his pocket and produced the lighter. Then he said:
āI am sorry, father; but I believe I forgot to charge it.ā
āAh! thatās just like you, if you will forgive my saying so. You take any amount of trouble to invent and perfect a thing, but when it comes to making use of it, then you forget,ā and with a little gesture of impatience the Colonel turned aside to light a match from a box which he had found in the pocket of his cape.
āI am sorry,ā said Morris, with a sigh, ābut I am afraid it is true. When oneās mind is very fully occupied with one thingāāā and he broke off.
āAh! thatās it, Morris, thatās it,ā said the Colonel, seating himself upon a garden chair; āthis hobby-horse of yours is carrying youāto the devil, and your family with you. I donāt want to be rough, but it is time that I spoke plain. Letās see, how long is it since you left the London firm?ā
āNine years this autumn,ā answered Morris, setting his mouth a little, for he knew what was coming. The port drunk after claret had upset his fatherās digestion and ruffled his temper. This meant that to himāMorrisāFate had appointed a lecture.
āNine years, nine wasted years, idled and dreamt away in a village upon the eastern coast. It is a large slice out of a manās life, my boy. By the time that I was your age I had done a good deal,ā said his father, meditatively. When he meant to be disagreeable it was the Colonelās custom to become reflective.
āI canāt admit that,ā answered Morris, in his light, quick voiceāāI mean I canāt admit that my time has either been idled away or wasted. On the contrary, father, I have worked very hard, as I did at college, and as I have always done, with results which, without boasting, I may fairly call gloriousāyes, gloriousāfor when they are perfected they will change the methods of communication throughout the whole world.ā As he spoke, forgetting the sharp vexation of the moment, his face was irradiated with lightālike some evening cloud on which the sun strikes suddenly.
Watching him out of the corner of his eye, even in that low moonlight, his father saw those fires of enthusiasm shine and die upon his sonās face, and the sight vexed him. Enthusiasm, as he conceived, perhaps with justice, had been the ruin of Morris. Ceasing to be reflective, his tone became cruel.
āDo you really think, Morris, that the world wishes to have its methods of communication revolutionised? Arenāt there enough telephones and phonograms and aerial telegraphs already? It seems to me that you merely wish to add a new terror to existence. However, there is no need to pursue an academical discussion, since this wretched machine of yours, on which you have wasted so much time, appears to be a miserable failure.ā
Now, to throw the non-success of his invention into the teeth of the inventor, especially when that inventor knows that it is successful really, although just at present it does not happen to work, is a very deadly insult. Few indeed could be deadlier, except, perhaps, that of the cruelty which can suggest to a woman that no man will ever look at her because of her plainness and lack of attraction; or the coarse taunt which, by shameless implication, unjustly accuses the soldier of cowardice, the diplomat of having betrayed the secrets of his country, or the lawyer of having sold his brief. All the more, therefore, was it to Morrisās credit that he felt the lash sting without a show of temper.
āI have tried to explain to you, father,ā he began, struggling to free his clear voice from the note of indignation.
āOf course you have, Morris; donāt trouble yourself to repeat that long story. But even if you were successfulāwhich you are notāerāI cannot see the commercial use of this invention. As a scientific toy it may be very well, though, personally, I should prefer to leave it alone, since, if you go firing off your thoughts and words into space, how do you know who will answer them, or who will hear them?ā
āWell, father, as you understand all about it, it is no use my explaining any further. It is pretty late; I think I will be turning in.ā
āI had hoped,ā replied the Colonel, in an aggrieved voice, āthat you might have been able to spare me a few minutesā conversation. For some weeks I have been seeking an opportunity to talk to you; but somehow your arduous occupations never seem to leave you free for ordinary social intercourse.ā
āCertainly,ā replied Morris, āthough I donāt quite know why you should say that. I am always about the place if you want me.ā But in his heart he groaned, guessing what was coming.
āYes; but you are ever working at your chemicals and machinery in the old chapel; or reading those eternal books; or wandering about rapt in contemplation of the heavens; so that, in short, I seldom like to trouble you with my mundane but necessary affairs.ā
Morris made no answer; he was a very dutiful son and humble-spirited. Those who pit their intelligences against the forces of Nature, and try to search out her secrets, become humble. He could not altogether respect his father; the gulf between them was too wide and deep. But even at his present age of three and thirty he considered it a duty to submit himself to him and his vagaries. Outside of other reasons, his mother had prayed him to do so almost with her last breath, and, living or dead, Morris loved his mother.
āPerhaps you are not aware,ā went on Colonel Monk, after a solemn pause, āthat the affairs of this property are approaching a crisis.ā
āI know something, but no details,ā answered Morris. āI have not liked to interfere,ā he added apologetically.
āAnd I have not not liked to trouble you with such sordid matters,ā rejoined his parent, with sarcasm. āI presume, however, that you are acquainted with the main facts. I succeeded to this estate encumbered with a mortgage, created by your grandfather, an extravagant and unbusiness-like man. That mortgage I looked to your motherās fortune to pay off, but other calls made this impossible. For instance, the sea-wall here had to be built if the Abbey was to be saved, and half a mile of sea-walling costs something. Also very extensive repairs to the house were necessary, and I was forced to take three farms in hand when I retired from the army fifteen years ago. This has involved a net loss of about ten
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