The Crystal Diary - Me (best book club books for discussion .TXT) 📗

I ‘d see Thelma instead. Why did God let me live at all if I was to spend the rest of my life mourning for my mom? Why did I have to have a father that hated me? If that isn’t true, then why has he been gone all these years?

That night I fingered the violet crystal around my neck, I wondered many times why mom never told me about her journal. Well her journal I could understand, but why keep such a beautiful treasure a secret?

The street noise began to relax me; the stars in the sky were like tiny little flashlights and the full moon a silver coin. I looked out at the crumbled twin towers that echoed with fire trucks and ambulances. More people would be arriving in this hospital and I would have to share a room. I hated the thought of having to share a room in the hospital. All I wanted was to go home away from all blood tests and VIPs and all unnecessary things invented to torment people.

Chapter 4
Going Home

A nurse came inside with a big grin on her face, which told me that either I was going home or that staff had come up with another excuse to stick a needle in my arm.

“Well Gwen, I have good news for you,” she said that you will be able to leave today.”

“YES!” I screamed in excitement, finally Thelma and I would be able to look through that strange notebook of mom’s. I sat up eager to ask the nurse more questions.

“Shhh! I know your excited Gwen, but please don’t deafen me!”

“Please let me take a shower,” I begged, but the nurse shook her head wickedly. “Please! I haven’t showered in ten days, my skin is killing me!”

“No Gwen, I’m doing this for your own good, your scars are still too soft for a shower. You would be in a lot of pain, you will be able to shower however in three more days.” I groaned, three more days wasn’t very long, but still.
Afterward she helped me to stand and I fell several times. Ironically, she still deemed me strong enough to go home and said I could use crutches until my legs were strong enough after physical therapy to walk.

The next day Thelma came to pick me up, and on the way home talked about how we should enroll me in a school soon. I stared out the car window, barely hearing a word she said.

I couldn’t believe that after hearing the news about the bombing on the Twin Towers my dad wouldn’t try to contact us. He and my mom both worked there even before I was born. As I recall, mom said that she and dad hardly ever fought. What happened to him after I was born? Why did he just disappear? Then a thought entered my mind, What if he was in the Twin Towers, about to come and throw himself at mom’s feet, and the airplanes crashed into the building before he had a chance?

“Still thinking about your mom Gwen?” I heard Thelma say.

“No I was wondering why on earth my dad hasn’t contacted us, he knew that my mom worked in the Twin Towers.” A long silence filled the car and I looked at Thelma, wondering why she was so quiet. She pretended not to hear me when I asked her what was wrong.

“Gwen, I don’t know how I am going to provide for both of us. I couldn’t find a job today that pays enough money to make any kind of living for two people. We will really need to stretch the budget as far as it will go. I am just so afraid we will go bankrupt.”

“ Have you forgotten about mom’s diary? Maybe it will contain a clue to Dad ‘s whereabouts.” Thelma looked at me briefly.

“ Gwen, get real, after your mother had you and your dad disappeared he sent her no letters, at least to my knowledge. No emails, nothing, I doubt that your mom had even the slightest idea of where he was.”

“But…. Mom’s diary might contain a hidden letter or something,” I tried to convince Thelma. In my heart though, I knew she was probably right. The diary would most likely contain old stories and sentiments that would break our hearts again.

“How we are even going to be able to open the cover of that book is beyond me!” Thelma continued, “ the strap that holds the book’s cover together is metal plated, so we can’t cut the leather open, which I would never do anyway. The shape of the lock is round, so your mother had to have opened it with a special key. I‘ll bet she threw it away as soon as she finished the diary too because I looked and looked through her things and I can’t find it anywhere.”

“ No Thelma, you know how conservative mom was. She had a fit once when I tried to through away some spinach she fixed when it was over done.” Thelma laughed at the memory remembering how many times I had to repeat that the rotten remainders of the vegetable were not edible before she finally yielded and let me throw them away.

I fingered my necklace wondering why my conservative, overprotective mom would marry a man that would abandon her the day that she had his child.

Stop it Gwen! You know that your mother was smarter than that! I practically yelled at myself. Mom had only been dead ten days and already I was starting to find faults with everything she had done! What was wrong with me? I loved her didn’t I? Well duh! Maybe it was because I wanted dad to take custody of me so badly and it just seemed like he didn’t care. Was Thelma right? Did my father just pretend to love my mother and used her for money, or some other ulterior motive. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Thelma, but you would be able to tell the first time you met her that she was not the parenting type. She could be compared to a teen-aged girl and went out on dates nearly every night. I knew she would miss being able to go out with her boyfriends on week day nights and would be very happy to hand me over to my dad. I really couldn’t blame her; she wasn’t ready to play parent, and I wasn’t ready to think of her as mom number two.

“Here we are Gwen, home at last!” My guardian chirped. I could tell though that she was thinking the same thing I was. How could this apartment house ever be home again? Thelma parked the car in the apartment building parking lot, and got out of the car. She opened my door and gave me a look of insistence that I leave the vehicle.

Slowly I pulled up my crutches to my arms and began the long walk across the parking lot. My arms felt like they would fall off by the time we reached the door. Thelma quickly opened the door for me and I swung my way inside. I stared up at the steep staircase and wondered if my legs would ever allow me to climb again. I felt more and more like an invalid as I saw many people ascend and descend without even knowing what a precious gift good legs were.

“The doctor said you would be able to walk in a few weeks Gwen, cheer up please?” I tried to smile for Thelma’s sake but secretly blinked away a tear as we walked into the elevator. I sighed as we were lifted up, I would heal soon enough. I just had to accept that. At least I wouldn’t be stuck wearing an awful looking cast for weeks on end.

The elevator bell dinged and I swung myself out. Thelma took out the keys from her purse and unlocked the door. The comforting surroundings of home filled me with relief. I swung my way over to the couch and Thelma walked to the kitchen to make dinner. You may think we would have had more to say to one another, but for several days afterward we only spoke to each other when absolutely necessary. Whether it was our grief, our state of shock, or something unknown to mankind I will never ever know. Soon though I knew, I would have to go to school again and catch up on everything I missed while I was paying the hospital a visit. I also looked forward to going to church, the one place where you can get away from the world. I was sure that I could never stop missing mom but at least with God I could face life easier.


Chapter 5
Mom’s Book Of Secrets

Saturday, three days after I left the hospital Thelma finally began to talk more. My curiosity about the diary burned as hotly as a dry twig that had caught on fire. I had begged Thelma before to try to open it but