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the Kingdom, there is always something going on. People getting up to everything and anything. No rules apply here.

Eventually, I think enough time has passed so I scale back down to her window and notice her candle has been blown out.

I push against the glass and the window opens easily enough. It creeks slightly and I wince at how creepy I am being.

I land on the floor without a sound. I can feel the air move. I drop and roll before I get clobbered over the head.

I pull my hood down, unveiling my hair and eyes. Slowly I pull my scarf from my mouth and stay in a crouched position. Hoping she doesn't see me as a threat. Then again, I have just broken into her room.

My hands are ready to block her attacks or to knock her out if I need to.

Her eyes go wide when she realises I am a girl. But doesn't drop her weapon.

"What the hell? Who the hell are you?" She screams as she holds a candle holder in the air. 

I force myself not to roll my eyes at her attempt to gain control.

"Stop screaming," I whisper, not wanting the whole house involved. My eyes dart to the door and see it's locked. "My name is Bumblebee," I tell her, keeping my hands raised and my eyes steady. If she goes for me I can easily knock the candle holder out of her hands.

"The Bumblebee?" She squeaks, lowering the candle holder a little.

I look at her in confusion.

"The made-up character people talk about so they don't give up on hope, the boy fighting back...well, I guess the girl fighting back against the King for the people who don't matter in his eyes." She whispers, her eyes wide with awe.

"I didn't know people were spreading rumours," I murmur, lowering my gaze and push myself up. Hoping she accepts this explanation and doesn't think I am a fraud.

"You're a lot smaller than I thought." She blurts out. "I believed you were this made up character, a giant who lived in the shadows and was scared of nothing." She rushed out, trying to explain herself, smiling sheepishly at me. If I knew her well enough I would see the embarrassment on her face. But I don't. All I notice is her radiant grin. It's warm and genuine. Even inviting. It transforms her whole face making her look a lot younger.

I give her a tender smile as I sit on her bed and shrug.

"Why have you come to me?" She asks as she sits really close to me. A lot closer than I am used to. Then again, I don't really sit with people and talk. I only do that with Maggie and she understands my boundaries. Especially, when it comes to personal space.

"Why do you trust someone who has just climbed through your window?" I ask instead, surprising myself for not answering her question and getting out of here.

"I am good at reading people. I have to be in my line of work." She smiles sadly. "You have kind and honest eyes," she explains.  "How can I help?" She purses her lips and fully faces me. "I have been with many women if that's why you have come here." She says as she cups my face, her thumb gently strokes my cheek.

Shock fills my body as I force myself not to react to her touch. I haven't been touched for three years, not without consent. I don't know how to react without offending her. My body screams at me for space.

It's ok, Blue. Breathe. Relax.

I close my eyes and breathe, "it's not why I am here." I tell her, I clasp her hand into mine, creating some space to breathe. "You're a very beautiful woman, how old are you?" I ask, allowing myself to be in the moment. 

"19," she grins and laces her fingers through mine. "Are you sure? I won't charge you. Your words are kind and you have a lot of tension in your body." Her voice is husky as she leans in but doesn't push. Just enough to be inviting.

I laugh despite myself, "I don't even know your name." I tell her as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Awkwardness crawls up my neck.

"They call me Lucille, but my real name is Maddie." She trails her free hand up my thigh and back down, creating little patterns.

I watch her hand stroking my leg for a moment. Part of me feels jealous of this girl who finds it easy to be intimate. Finds it easy to flirt and to be flirted with. I don't know how to do that.

I can't allow myself to do that. Not even for a moment. I no longer have that choice. Not that I ever did.

"Maddie, I am going to be honest with you, I have only ever been with one person and I am not looking to add to that number. I am happy with my one."

"I understand, our hearts don't give us much choice and I like how you don't betray yours. Whoever it is, they are very lucky to have you." She tells me honestly, she pulls back and doesn't look offended.

"I was the lucky one," I tell her sadly and then push all of my feelings down and get back on to the topic of why I am here.

Maddie watches me as I do this and doesn't say anything even though I know she can see a difference within me.

"Tell me my little Bumblebee, how can I help you?" She hums as she carries on stroking my leg.

"I was hoping you would exchange information about the people you entertain," I ask.

"You want to use me as a spy?" Maddie queries, her blue eyes find mine and smile at the idea.

"Only if that's ok with you? I would like to offer you something in return. I don't have much to bargain with but I can give you warm clothes in return for information? A coat or anything you want?"

"I need a blanket for my bed, I get very cold in the night."

"I will bring you one tomorrow night and we will work out anything else you may be worried about," I tell her, not letting her see how much that simple sentence makes my heart go out to her.

"Don't you want an answer straight away?" She wonders.

"No, I want you to think about it. I will come back tomorrow night. If you decide not to help, you will still get the blanket." I smile and stand up, releasing her hold on me.

"Ok, I will see you tomorrow night, Bumblebee." She walks with me to the window.

I turn and face her, the wild curly blond hair, the slim figure and those trusting blue eyes of hers, "Maddie, please don't tell anyone about me. If you see me in the street you have to pretend not to know me. Unless we meet officially."

"I'll never let anyone know about you and I doubt we will meet officially." She grins, shrugging off that fact with ease. "I'm happy to have you as my friend in secret."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"If I have a visitor tomorrow night I will put my horrible dead plant on the windowsill. Otherwise, my windowsill will be empty for you to come through." She tells me.

"Ok, I need to go." I put my hand out for her to shake and she envelopes me into a hug.

I force myself not to kick her off. I breathe and focus on making sure oxygen enters my lungs and then leaves.

"Stay safe, my little Bumblebee," she pulls back and quickly leans in and kisses me. I don't have a chance to defend myself. Her hand goes to the base of my neck and pulls me into the kiss.

I gently pull back after a second and grin at her, "It's still a no, but you're a good kisser. I would much rather be your friend." I lightly touch her cheek, in a way of showing my gratitude and growing affection for her.

I swing out of her window and up to her roof without an explanation.

"Good night, my friend." She whispers into the night.

I smile at myself and wonder what the heck got a hold of me tonight.

If Maddie can pull me in and be able to slip past my walls like she did tonight, I know I have chosen well. She can break anyone's barriers down. I will have an awesome ally on my side. One day maybe I can help more.

I stand on the roof and look out over the Kingdom. I have one quick stop before I head home.

I scale wall after wall and run on top of roofs as I slowly get closer and closer to the Castle, the centre of the Kingdom.

I jump off a building and use my cloak to help me to glide down to the floor. I land softly, scanning the area and I quickly run for the tree.

I check the hole for notes and come up empty. My heart drops a little, I quickly pull out a scrap piece of paper from my cloak and write a note.

I place it into the little hole. I don't allow any feelings to come through. They always threaten to overcome me when I come here.

Memories and moments spent here are probably the happiest of my life. I was a different girl then. Everything was simpler. I'm not sure if that's true but it was definitely lighter than it is now. Especially for me. Back then my eyes hadn't been opened.

You can't unsee something and you can't rewind time. The world is one ugly place once you've been made to see it for what it is.

I place a hand on the tree, giving myself a few moments. I grieve for the memories. I grieve for the happier times. But, mainly, I grieve for the girl who I was.

I turn away and run into the night.

I need to go home. I need Maggie.

I climb through my window. I pull my cloak off and then my boots.

I walk barefooted across the floor and allow the smells of dyes and fabric fill my nostrils.

I lied, I am happy now. I may miss the girl I was but Maggie makes all of the difference. She's the only person in this world who means anything to me.

I quietly open her bedroom door and enter. I allow myself to watch her breathing as she sleeps.

"You're late." She mumbles sleepily. 

"Sorry," I whisper as she opens her duvet and lets me slide in next to her. "I met a girl who kept me talking," I inform her.

"Tell me in the morning."

I snuggle closer, letting her know I want to be touched. To be held.

She kisses my hair and wraps her arms around me. She holds me tight and allows her warmth to heat my cold bones up. "You're freezing!"

"Sorry." I pull away but she just holds me tighter.

"Stay, I just need to hold you for a second. I need to let myself know you're safe." She tells me when she knows I am the one who needs that.

"I'm safe, I'm right here." I murmur.

"Good."

"I love you, Aunt Maggie."

"I love you too, my little daredevil." She kisses my hair again.

I can tell she's asleep when her arms relax and her breathing deepens.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me," I whisper to her, knowing she is too far gone to hear me.

I allow myself the few tears that come and then I roll over and succumb to sleep.

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