Mr. Midshipman Easy - Frederick Marryat (best ereader for students TXT) 📗

In which lack makes some very sage reflections, and comes to a very unwise decision.

AFTER ALL, it must be acknowledged that although there are cases of distress in which a well may become a place of refuge, a well is not at all calculated for a prolonged residence-so thought Jack. After he had been there some fifteen minutes, his teeth chattered, and his limbs trembled; he felt a numbness all over, and he thought it high time to call for assistance, which at first he would not, as he was afraid he should be pulled up to encounter the indignation of the farmer and his family. Jack was arranging his jaws for a halloo, when he felt the chain pulled up, and he slowly emerged from the water. At first he heard complaints of the weight of the bucket, at which Jack was not surprised; then he heard a tittering and laughing between two parties; and soon afterwards he mounted up gaily. At last his head appeared above the low wall, and he was about to extend his arms so as to secure a position on it, when those who were working at the windlass beheld him. It was a heavy farming man and a maid-servant.

“Thank you,” said Jack.

One never should be too quick in returning thanks; the girl screamed and let go the winch, the man, frightened, did not hold it fast; it slipped from his grasp, whirled round, struck him under the chin, and threw him over it headlong, and before the “Thank you” was fairly out of Jack’s lips, down he went again like lightning to the bottom. Fortunately for Jack, he had not yet let go the chain, or he might have struck the sides and have been killed; as it was, he was merely soused a second time, and in a minute or two regained his former position.

“This is mighty pleasant,” thought Jack, as he clapped his wet hat once more on his head; “at all events, they can’t now plead ignorance, they must know that I’m here.”

In the meantime the girl ran into the kitchen, threw herself down on a stool, from which she reeled off in a fit upon sundry heaps of dough waiting to be baked in the oven, which were laid to rise on the floor before the fire.

“Mercy on me, what is the matter with Susan?” exclaimed the farmer’s wife. “Here-where’s Mary-where’s John-Deary me, if the bread won’t all be turned to pancakes.”

John soon followed, holding his under-jaw in his hand, looking very dismal and very frightened, for two reasons; one, because he thought that his jaw was broken, and the other, because he thought he had seen the devil.

“Mercy on us, what is the matter?” exclaimed the farmer’s wife again. “Mary, Mary, Mary!” screamed she, beginning to be frightened herself, for with all her efforts she could not remove Susan from the bed of dough, where she lay senseless and heavy as lead. Mary answered to her mistress’s loud appeal, and with her assistance they raised up Susan; but as for the bread, there was no hopes of it ever rising again. “Why don’t you come here and help Susan, John?” cried Mary.

“Aw-yaw-aw!” was all the reply of John, who had had enough quite of helping Susan, and who continued to hold his head, as it were, in his hand.

“What’s the matter here, missus?” exclaimed the farmer, coming in. “Highty-tighty, what ails Susan? and what ails you?” continued the farmer, turning to John. “Dang it, but everything seems to go wrong, this blessed day. First, there be all the apples stolen-then there be all the hives turned topsy-turvy in the garden-then there be Caesar with his flank opened by the bull-then there be the bull broken through the hedge and tumbled into the saw-pit-and now I come to get more help to drag him out, I find one woman dead like, and John looks as if he had seen the devil.”

“Aw-yaw-aw! replied John, nodding his head very significantly.

“One would think that the devil had broke loose to-day. What is it, John? Have you seen him, and has Susan seen him?”

“Aw-yaw.”

“He’s stopped your jaw, then, at all events, and I thought the devil himself wouldn’t have done that-we shall get nothing of you. Is that wench coming to her senses?”

“Yes, yes, she’s better now,-Susan, what’s the matter? “

“Oh, oh, ma’am! the well, the well-”

“The well! Something wrong there, I suppose: well, I will go and see.”

The farmer trotted off to the well; he perceived the bucket was at the bottom and all the rope out; he looked about him, and then he looked into the well. Jack, who had become very impatient, had been looking up some time for the assistance which he expected would have come sooner; the round face of the farmer occasioned a partial eclipse of the round disk which bounded his view, just as one of the satellites of Jupiter sometimes obscures the face of the planet round which he revolves.

“Here I am,” cried Jack; “get me up quick, or I shall be dead”; and What Jack said was true, for he was quite done up by having been so long down, although his courage had not failed him.

“Dang it, but there be somebody fallen into the well,” cried the farmer; “no end to mishaps this day. Well, we must get a Christian out of a well afore we get a bull out of a saw-pit, so I’ll go and call the men.”

In a very short time the men who were assembled round the sawpit were brought to the well.

“Down below there, hold on now.”

“Never fear,” cried Jack.

Away went the winch, and once more Jack had an extended horizon to survey. As soon as he was at the top, the men hauled him over the bricks and laid him down upon the ground, for Jack’s strength had failed him.

“Dang it, if it bean’t that chap who was on my apple-tree,’ cried the farmer- “howsoever, he must not die for stealing a few apples; lift him up, lads, and take him in-he is dead with cold-no wonder.”

The farmer led the way, and the men carried Jack into the house, when the farmer gave him a glass of brandy; this restored Jack’s circulation, and in a short time he was all right again.

After some previous conversation, in which Jack narrated all that had happened, “What may be your name?” inquired the farmer.

“My name is Easy,” replied Jack.

“What! be you the son of Mr Easy, of Forest Hill?”

“Yes.”

“Dang it, he be my landlord, and a right good landlord too-why didn’t you say so when you were up in the apple-tree? You might have picked the whole orchard and welcome.”

“My dear sir,” replied Jack, who had taken a second glass of brandy, and was quite talkative again, “let this be a warning to you, and when a man proposes to argue the point, always, in future, listen. Had you waited, I would have proved to you most incontestably that you had no more right to the apples than I had; but you would not listen to argument, and without discussion we can never arrive at truth. You send for your dog, who is ripped up by the bull-the bull breaks his leg in a saw-pit-the bee-hives are overturned, and you lose all your honey-your man John breaks his jaw-your maid Susan spoils all the bread-and why? because you would not allow me to argue the point.”

“Well, Mr Easy, it be all true that all these mishaps have happened because I would not allow you to argue the point, perhaps, although, as I rent the orchard from your father, I cannot imagine how you could prove to me that the apples were not mine; but now, let’s take your side of the question, and I don’t see how you be much better off: you get up in a tree for a few apples, with plenty of money to buy them if you like-you are kept there by a dog-you are nearly gored by a bull-you are stung by the bees, and you tumble souse into a well, and are nearly killed a dozen times, and all for a few apples not worth twopence.”

“All very true, my good man,” replied Jack; “but you forget that I, as a philosopher, was defending the rights of man.”

“Well, I never knew before that a lad who stole apples was called a philosopher-we calls it petty larceny in the indictments: and as for your rights of man, I cannot see how they can be defended by doing what’s wrong.”

“You do not comprehend the matter, farmer.”

“NO, I don’t-and I be too old to learn, Master Easy. All I have to say is this, you are welcome to all the apples in the orchard if you please, and if you prefers, as it seems you do, to steal them, instead of asking for them,