Memoirs of a Flower Child - George S Geisinger (the best books to read txt) 📗

like to get a meal, for instance. Even then I have a tendency to want to be left alone, when I have to put up with the dining room.
Just leave me alone to write. Sympathy has no substance anyway.
Yes, I was a flower child. I made love, not war, in one of those hideaway places, known as an asylum, before Ronald Reagan dismantled our sanctuaries, nationwide.
I believe I may have a daughter from making love, not war, but her mother refused to corroborate my suspicions a long time ago, and I don't know anything recent about either mother or daughter, and never really had much recourse to have much of anything to do with either one of them, regardless of my inclinations or my capacities, either one.
I've recently had such a terrible time with a girl working a scam on my resources and my future, over the concept of paternity, I've had to block all access to my assets even from myself, much less some offspring who is making themselves scarce all my life, not keeping me any company whatsoever, over the idea that they're my family. That's not right. There will be no child of mine avoiding me up into my senior, elder, lonely years in life, coming around after I'm dead and gone, and succeed in bilking my estate by passing a DNA test in a medical lab. That's not going to work.
I've left my money to my family, and if someone has something to say about being my family, they darn well better start talking to me about it before I'm dead and gone, or they will certainly come up empty handed, from the statement of my last will and testament, leaving me all solitary and alone all my days. Family isn't just for money. Family is for sticking together.
Family is for company, and that's that.
I'm all sick and tired of that last girl who tried to push and shove her way into my heart and into my inheritance, on all kinds of false pretenses, and then trying to set me up to die on the operating table for her personal financial enrichment and aggrandizement. There will be no more of that. If you think your my son or my daughter, you'd better be proving it now, by forensic means and your personal fidelity of presence in my life, by your own free will, or leave me the heck alone about it. I've lost too many possessions and personal treasures, like gifts of antiques and caring remembrances of people who really were my family and really did love me. I don't need any more nonsense over that idea again. I'm not trusting anyone like that, idly, ever again. Either prove my paternity over your existence, or stay the heck shut up about it.
Yup, make love, not war, that's my motto.
I been up the creek and down the avenue smoking fogs and drinking mad dog 20-20 with the Yo's, the Blood's, and the bro's, and I know what the @#$%&* I'm talking about. I'm not going to starve for nobody no more, never again. Heck with that. That's like hurting myself and expecting someone else to feel the pain. I'm all through with that nonsense. And I know a lot more about a lot of things, to keep myself from getting scammed again, so watch your step, buddy. I'm not in the mood anymore.

Flowers, hippies, peace.
Yup, the United States Government undermined the young people's movement in the 1960's and 1970's so effectively, most of us hippies and flower children can't even remember what we were so worked up about anymore, and that's that. We've plum forgotten, and the government saw to it that we did, too. And the old saying, “save your Dixie Cups, the South shall rise again” is only a silly joke by this late date in US History, too. No state of these United States is ever going to get up enough power to secede from the Union again, no sir. This place is too powerful and too well fortified against any such crap like that, any day of the week, and twice on the weekends.
If you think you're so free around here that you can never be locked up and kept someplace against your will, without legal charges against you and without a trial, you are sadly mistaken. All that little trick takes in this country is two doctor's signatures against the supposition of your sanity, and you're gone, buddy.
I am a hippie, and I am a flower child.
I've played that game & lost it too many times not to know the realities of the deficiencies in the game, of individual civil liberties of the general populous, of the Grand and Glorious United States of America, come hell and high water to the whole concept. We are only as free as we are let alone to be, and don't forget to keep some money behind you to pay your way to keep you free, too. This country is capitalism, and it charges what it charges. Be prepared to pay the price to stay free, or you'll end up in a situation you don't like. Trust me. Been there, done that.
Jack Kennedy died over his freedom of speech, and that's all there is to that. If I ever get murdered for real, it will probably be done to shut me up, just like Khrushchev arranged for Jack Kennedy. There are people in this world that just don't appreciate a guy doing too much talking on some subjects. That old Russian Tank Driver didn't like the way that young punk PT Boat Driver tried to throw his weight around, so he made arrangements to kill the young bastard. At least, that's the way I figure it. Jack was a great guy, but I think that's what happened in Dallas.
I only got free from two doctors' certificates by getting sober and staying sober, and nothing less. I'm grateful to be at my own liberty, and my own leisure, and I'm not going to forget it ever again.

Liberty
Chapter 16

I'm free. There's nothing on the face of this earth I need that I don't have or can't get by some reasonable means. I don't have to punch a time clock, or beg, borrow, or steal. I don't have to say, “Yes, Sir,” to some man who simply likes to get on my nerves when I'm on a job trying to earn a living – and he's the boss. He's the guy that signs the check. I'm not in that position. I'm retired, that's what I am, and living in a really nice retirement community, where I get three good meals a day that I don't have to cook or clean up after, a nice comfortable bed to sleep in – day and night, if I like, with someone else cleaning that place, too, and plenty of people around me to relate to as I please. If I feel friendly toward someone, I'm free to check them out. If I want to stay to myself, I can do that, too.
I know how to stay sober. I know how to stay smoke-free, too. I know that I can choose to drink or smoke anytime I want, but I know the consequences. I know where it leads, and how fast I'd get there. There's no further experimentation necessary. All the results of all the experiments are in. I know the results. It'd get me so sick so fast I'd be lucky to survive long enough to even get back to my apartment, from the next moment after I'd have just one drag or one swig, when one only wets my whistle for a binge so big I'd never survive and would hope to die, and I've already used up all that kind of luck a long time ago.
I'm not interested in testing God that way ever again, not even once – with one cigarette or one drink, or anything else like it, because I know where it leads. One's too many and a thousand's not enough. There I'd be, in a strange city with no idea how to get around and no way to take myself anywhere. I'd be out the door of the retirement community on my nose, because I wouldn't be able to deport myself properly. They'd put me out, and probably have me arrested or committed, quick.
I know that the only thing between me and total disaster is one bad decision, but I know what that decision would be before I try it. I been there, done that. I'm free from all the guess work.
God has finally made me truly a free man.
I know my options and what lies beyond them, not like when I was a youngster. Back then, I was trying things out, just to see what would happen. I was experimenting. Now I don't have to play that game with anything, ever again. Now I know the consequences already.
I've written all this into a book, and now I want to praise God for my liberty. I've cried the blues long enough. I'm a happy man. I'm free. Thank God Almighty I'm free. I'm alive. I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to present that which He has promised against that day.
I didn't let someone cheat me out of my resources this time. I have cooperated with the people who know how to get along better than I do. I didn't get swindled this time. My family understand how I can't see a swindle coming, till it's already got me dead to rights. My family has finally provided for that glaring vulnerability of mine. I'm the most safe and secure I've ever been, even since childhood. I've learned who to trust, who to turn to.
When I was a child, I didn't trust my folks, because dad was so unstable, and I learned rebellion rather than the trust of my elders. I paid dearly for that choice, and as I've noted here in these pages a hundred times, it almost cost me my life repeatedly. It certainly did cost me a lot of money and a lot of trouble to learn what I know now, but now I know. Now I don't have to experiment. I've got the results of all those experiments.
It's not that I'm stupid. I'm far from stupid. It's that I'm too vulnerable to be totally in charge of my own affairs. I didn't learn how to take care of myself effectively when I was growing up, for all the various reasons I've noted down on these pages, and more that I've passed over in the telling. One either learns how to take care of themselves in life, or they don't. I didn't. I could have been a ward of the state for the remainder of my natural lifetime, beginning at the age of thirty. In fact, I got so close to it, sometimes it makes me shiver to remember how close I really got.
I know I had doctors' certificates on me once, at least, and getting sober was the only thing that got me out of that state hospitalization. How many other certificates have I had against