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Spun The Whirligig,  While Another Held The Small Boy's Palm

Till The Sharp Slate-Edge Gashed It.  The Wound Was Severe. 

For Many Years A Long White Cicatrice Recorded The Fact In My

Right Hand.  The Ordeal Was,  I Fancy,  Unique - A Prerogative

Of The Naval 'Bull-Dogs.'  The Other Torture Was,  In Those

Days,  Not Unknown To Public Schools.  It Was To Hold A Boy's

Back And Breech As Near To A Hot Fire As His Clothes Would

Bear Without Burning.  I Have An Indistinct Recollection Of A

Boy At One Of Our Largest Public Schools Being Thus Exposed, 

And Left Tied To Chairs While His Companions Were At Church. 

When Church Was Over The Boy Was Found - Roasted.

 

By The Advice Of A Chum I Submitted To The Scorching Without

A Howl,  And Thus Obtained Immunity,  And Admission To The

Roasting Guild For The Future.  What,  However,  Served Me

Best,  In All Matters Of This Kind,  Was That As Soon As I Was

Twelve Years Old My Name Was Entered On The Books Of The

'Britannia,' Then Flag-Ship In Portsmouth Harbour,  And Though

I Remained At The Academy,  I Always Wore The Uniform Of A

Volunteer Of The First Class,  Now Called A Naval Cadet.  The

Uniform Was Respected,  And The Wearer Shared The Benefit.

 

During The Winter Of 1839-40 I Joined H.M.S. 'Blonde,' A 46-

Gun Frigate Commanded By Captain Bouchier,  Afterwards Sir

Thomas,  Whose Portrait Is Now In The National Portrait

Gallery.  He Had Seen Much Service,  And Had Been Flag-Captain

To Nelson's Hardy.  In The Middle Of That Winter We Sailed

For China,  Where Troubles Had Arisen Anent The Opium Trade.

 

What Would The Cadet Of The Present Day Think Of The

Treatment We Small Boys Had To Put Up With Sixty Or Seventy

Years Ago?  Promotion Depended Almost Entirely On Interest. 

The Service Was Entered At Twelve Or Thirteen.  After Two

Years At Sea,  If The Boy Passed His Examination,  He Mounted

The White Patch,  And Became A Midshipman.  At The End Of Four

Years More He Had To Pass A Double Examination,  - One For

Seamanship Before A Board Of Captains,  And Another For

Navigation At The Naval College.  He Then Became A Master's

Mate,  And Had To Serve For Three Years As Such Before He Was

Eligible For Promotion To A Lieutenancy.  Unless An Officer

Had Family Interest He Often Stuck There,  And As Often Had To

Serve Under One More Favoured,  Who Was Not Born When He

Himself Was Getting Stale.

 

Naturally Enough These Old Hands Were Jealous Of The

Fortunate Youngsters,  And,  Unless Exceptionally Amiable, 

Would Show Them Little Mercy.

 

We Left Portsmouth In December 1839.  It Was Bitter Winter. 

The Day We Sailed,  Such Was The Severity Of The Gale And

Snowstorm,  That We Had To Put Back And Anchor At St. Helens

In The Isle Of Wight.  The Next Night We Were At Sea.  It

Happened To Be My Middle Watch.  I Had To Turn Out Of My

Hammock At Twelve To Walk The Deck Till Four In The Morning.  

Chapter 4 Pg 23

Walk! I Could Not Stand.  Blinded With Snow,  Drenched By The

Seas,  Frozen With Cold,  Home Sick And Sea Sick Beyond

Description,  My Opinion Of The Royal Navy - As A Profession -

Was,  In The Course Of These Four Hours,  Seriously Subverted. 

Long Before The Watch Ended.  I Was Reeling About More Asleep

Than Awake; Every Now And Then Brought To My Senses By

Breaking My Shins Against The Carronade Slides; Or,  If I Sat

Down Upon One Of Them To Rest,  By A Playful Whack With A

Rope's End From One Of The Crusty Old Mates Aforesaid,  Who

Perhaps Anticipated In My Poor Little Personality The

Arrogance Of A Possible Commanding Officer.  Oh! Those Cruel

Night Watches!  But The Hard Training Must Have Been A Useful

Tonic Too.  One Got Accustomed To It By Degrees; And Hence, 

Indifferent To Exposure,  To Bad Food,  To Kicks And Cuffs,  To

Calls Of Duty,  To Subordination,  And To All That Constitutes

Discipline.

 

Luckily For Me,  The Midshipman Of My Watch,  Jack Johnson,  Was

A Trump,  And A Smart Officer To Boot.  He Was Six Years Older

Than I,  And,  Though Thoroughly Good-Natured,  Was Formidable

Enough From His Strength And Determination To Have His Will

Respected.  He Became My Patron And Protector.  Rightly,  Or

Wrongly I Am Afraid,  He Always Took My Part,  Made Excuses For

Me To The Officer Of Our Watch If I Were Caught Napping Under

The Half-Deck,  Or Otherwise Neglecting My Duty.  Sometimes He

Would Even Take The Blame For This Upon Himself,  And Give Me

A 'Wigging' In Private,  Which Was My Severest Punishment.  He

Taught Me The Ropes,  And Explained The Elements Of

Seamanship.  If It Was Very Cold At Night He Would Make Me

Wear His Own Comforter,  And,  In Short,  Took Care Of Me In

Every Possible Way.  Poor Jack! I Never Had A Better Friend;

And I Loved Him Then,  God Knows.  He Was One Of Those Whose

Advancement Depended On Himself.  I Doubt Whether He Would

Ever Have Been Promoted But For An Accident Which I Shall

Speak Of Presently.

 

When We Got Into Warm Latitudes We Were Taught Not Only To

Knot And Splice,  But To Take In And Set The Mizzen Royal. 

There Were Four Of Us Boys,  And In All Weathers At Last We

Were Practised Aloft Until We Were As Active And As Smart As

Any Of The Ship's Lads,  Even In Dirty Weather Or In Sudden

Squalls.

 

We Had A Capital Naval Instructor For Lessons In Navigation, 

And The Quartermaster Of The Watch Taught Us How To Handle

The Wheel And Con.

 

These Quartermasters - There Was One To Each Of The Three

Watches - Were Picked Men Who Had Been Captains Of Tops Or

Boatswains' Mates.  They Were Much Older Than Any Of The

Crew.  Our Three In The 'Blonde' Had All Seen Service In The

French And Spanish Wars.  One,  A Tall,  Handsome Old Fellow, 

Had Been A Smuggler; And Many A Fight With,  Or Narrow Escape

From,  The Coast-Guard He Had To Tell Of.  The Other Two Had 

Chapter 4 Pg 24

Been Badly Wounded.  Old Jimmy Bartlett Of My Watch Had A

Hole In His Chest Half An Inch Deep From A Boarding Pike.  He

Had Also Lost A Finger,  And A Bullet Had Passed Through His

Cheek.  One Of His Fights Was In The 'Amethyst' Frigate When, 

Under Sir Michael Seymour,  She Captured The 'Niemen' In 1809. 

Often In The Calm Tropical Nights,  When The Helm Could Take

Care Of Itself Almost,  He Would Spin Me A Yarn About Hot

Actions,  Cutting-Outs,  Press-Gangings,  And Perils Which He

Had Gone Through,  Or - What Was All One To Me - Had Invented.

 

From England To China Round The Cape Was A Long Voyage Before

There Was A Steamer In The Navy.  It Is Impossible To

Describe The Charm Of One's First Acquaintance With Tropical

Vegetation After The Tedious Monotony Unbroken By Any Event

But An Occasional Flogging Or A Man Overboard.  The Islands

Seemed Afloat In An Atmosphere Of Blue; Their Jungles Rooting

In The Water's Edge.  The Strange Birds In The Daytime,  The

Flocks Of Parrots,  The Din Of Every Kind Of Life,  The Flying

Foxes At Night,  The Fragrant And Spicy Odours,  Captivate The

Senses.  How Delicious,  Too,  The Fresh Fruits Brought Off By

The Malays In Their Scooped-Out Logs,  One's First Taste Of

Bananas,  Juicy Shaddocks,  Mangoes,  And Custard Apples - After

Months Of Salt Junk,  Disgusting Salt Pork,  And Biscuit All

Dust And Weevils.  The Water Is So Crystal-Clear It Seems As

Though One Could Lay One's Hands On Strange Coloured Fish And

Coral Beds At Any Depth.  This,  Indeed,  Was 'Kissing The Lips

Of Unexpected Change.'  It Was A First Kiss Moreover.  The

Tropics Now Have Ceased To Remind Me Even Of This Spell Of

Novelty And Wonder.

 

 

Chapter 5 Pg 25

 

 

 

The First Time I 'Smelt Powder' Was At Amoy.  The 'Blonde'

Carried Out Lord Palmerston's Letter To The Chinese

Government.  Never Was There A More Iniquitous War Than

England Then Provoked With China To Force Upon Her The Opium

Trade With India In Spite Of The Harm Which The Chinese

Authorities Believed That Opium Did To Their People.

 

Even Macaulay Advocated This Shameful Imposition.  China Had

To Submit,  And Pay Into The Bargain Four And A Half Millions

Sterling To Prove Themselves In The Wrong.  Part Of This Went

As Prize Money.  My Share Of It - The Douceur For A Middy's

Participation In The Crime - Was Exactly 100l.

Chapter 5 Pg 26

 

To Return To Amoy.  When Off The Mouth Of The Canton River We

Had Taken On Board An Interpreter Named Thom.  What Our

Instructions Were I Know Not; I Can Only Tell What Happened. 

Our Entry Into Amoy Harbour Caused An Immediate Commotion On

Land.  As Soon As We Dropped Anchor,  About Half A Mile From

The Shore,  A Number Of Troops,  With Eight Or Ten Field-

Pieces,  Took Up Their Position On The Beach,  Evidently

Resolved To Prevent Our Landing.  We Hoisted A Flag Of Truce, 

At The Same Time Cleared The Decks For Action,  And Dropped A

Kedge Astern So As To Moor The Ship Broadside To The Forts

And Invested Shore.  The Officer Of My Watch,  The Late Sir

Frederick Nicholson,  Together With The Interpreter,  Were

Ordered To Land And Communicate With The Chief Mandarin.  To

Carry Out This As Inoffensively As Possible,  Nicholson Took

The Jolly-Boat,  Manned By Four Lads Only.  As It Was My

Watch,  I Had Charge Of The Boat.  A Napkin Or Towel Served

For A Flag Of Truce.  But Long Before We Reached The Shore, 

Several Mandarins Came Down To The Water's Edge Waving Their

Swords And Shouting Angrily To Warn Us Off.  Mr. Thom,  Who

Understood What They Said,  Was

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