A Voyage Of Consolation - Sara Jeannette Duncan (namjoon book recommendations .txt) 📗
- Author: Sara Jeannette Duncan
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"And How Many Words To A Page?"
"Two Hundred And Fifty--More Or Less."
"That'S Seventy-Five Thousand Words! Pretty Big Undertaking, If You Look
At It In bulk."
"We Shall Have To Rely Upon Momma," I Remarked.
Poppa'S Expression Disparaged The Idea, And He Began To Feel Round For
His Beard.
"If I Were You," He Said, "I Wouldn'T Place Much Dependence On Momma.
She'Ll Be Able To Give You A Few Hints On Sunsets And A Pointer Or Two
About The Various Venuses, Likely--She'S Had Photographs Of Several Of
Them In The House For Years--But I Expect It'S Going To Be A Question Of
Historical Fact Pretty Often, And Momma Won'T Be In It. Not That I Want
To Choke Momma Off," He Continued, "But She Will Necessitate A Whole
Reference Library. And In Some Parts Of Europe I Believe They Charge You
For Every Pound Of Luggage, Including Your Lunch, If You Don'T Happen To
Have Concealed It In Your Person."
"We'Ll Have To Pin Her Down To The Guide-Books," I Remarked.
"That Depends. I'Ve Always Understood That The Guide-Book Market Was
Largely Controlled By Mr. Murray And Mr. Baedeker. Also, That Mr. Murray
Writes In a Vein Of Pretty Lofty Sentiment, While Mr. Baedeker Is About
As Interesting As A Directory. Now Where The Right Emotion Is Included
At The Price I Don'T See The Use Of Momma, But When It'S A Question Of
Baedeker We Might Turn Her On. See?"
"Poppa," I Replied With Emotion, "You Will Both Be Invaluable. I Will
Bid You Good-Night. I Believe The Electric Light Burns All Night Long In
The Smoking-Cabin, But That Is Not Supposed To Indicate That Gentlemen
Are Expected To Stay There Till Dawn. I See You Have Two Havanas Left.
That Will Be Quite Enough For One Evening. Good-Night, Poppa."
Chapter 3
All The Way Across Momma Implored Me To Become Reconciled To Arthur. In
Extreme Moments, When It Was Very Choppy, She Composed Telegrams On
Lines Which Were To Drive Him Wild With Contrition Without Compromising
My Dignity; And When I Suggested The Difficulty Of Tampering With The
Atlantic Cable In Mid-Ocean Without A Diving Machine, She Wept, Hinting
That, If I Were A True Daughter Of Hers, Things Would Never Have Come To
Such A Pass. My Position, From A Filial Point Of View, Was Most Trying.
I Could Not Deny My Responsibility For Momma'S Woes--She Never Left Her
Cabin--Yet I Was Powerless To Put An End To Them. Young Women In Novels
Have Thrown Themselves Into The Arms Of The Wrong Man Under Far Less
Parental Pressure, But Although It Was Indeed The Hour The Man Was Not
Available. Neither, Such Was The Irony Of Circumstances, Would Our
Immediate Union Have Affected The Motion In The Slightest Degree. But
Although I Presented These Considerations To Momma Many Times A Day, She
Adhered So Persistently To The Idea Of Promoting A Happy Reunion That I
Was Obliged To Keep A Very Careful Eye On The Possibility Of
Surreptitious Messages From Liverpool. Once On Dry Land, However, Momma
Saw Her Duty In another Light. I Might Say That She Swallowed Her
Principles With The First Meal She Really Enjoyed, After Which She
Expressed Her Conviction That It Was Best To Let The Dead Past Bury Its
Dead, So Long As The Obsequies Did Not Necessitate Her Immediate Return
To America.
I Was Looking Forward Immensely To Observing The Senator In London,
Remembering The Effect It Had Upon My Own Imagination, But On Our
Arrival He Conducted Himself In a Manner Which Can Only Be Described As
Non-Committal. He Went About With His Hands In His Pockets, Smoking
Large Cigars With An Air Of Reserved Criticism That Vastly Impressed The
Waiters, Acquiescing In Strawberry Jam For Breakfast, For Example, In a
Manner Which Said That, Although This Might Be To Him A New And Complex
Custom, He Was Acquainted With Chicago Ones Much More Recondite. His Air
Was Superior, But Modestly So, And If He Said Nothing You Would Never
Suppose It Was Because He Had Nothing To Say. He Meant To Give Great
Britain A Chance Before He Pronounced Anything Distinctly Unfavourable
Even To Her Steaks, And In The Meantime To Remember What An Up-To-Date
American Owes To His Country'S Reputation In The Hotels Of A Foreign
Town.
He Was Very Much At His Ease, And I Saw Him Looking At A Couple Of Just
Introduced Englishmen Embarking In conversation, As If He Wondered What
Could Possibly Be The Matter With Them. I Am Sorry That I Can'T Say As
Much For My Other Parent, But Before Monarchical Institutions Momma
Weakened. She Had Moments Of Terrible Indecision As To How To Do Her
Hair, And I Am Certain It Was Not A Matter Of Indifference To Her That
She Should Make A Good Impression Upon The Head Butler. Also, She
Hesitated About Examining The Mounted Guardsman On Duty At Whitehall,
Preferring To Walk Past With A Casual Glance, As If She Were Accustomed
To See Things Quite As Wonderful Every Day At Home, Whereas Nothing To
Approach It Has Ever Existed In america, Except In The Imagination Of
Mr. Barnum, And He Is Dead. And Shopwalkers Patronised Her. I
Congratulated Myself Sometimes That I Was There To Assert Her Dignity.
I Must Be Permitted To Generalise In This Way About Our London
Experiences Because They Only Lasted A Day And A Half, And It Is
Impossible To Get Many Particulars Into That Space. It Was Really A Pity
We Had So Little Time. Nothing Would Have Been More Interesting Than To
Bring Momma Into Contact With The Poets' Corner, Or Introduce Poppa To
The House Of Lords, And Watch The Effect. I Am Sure, From What I Know Of
My Parents, That The Effect Would Have Been Crisp. But We Decided That
Six Weeks Was Not Too Much To Give To The Continent, Also That An
Opportunity, Six Weeks Long, Of Absorbing Europe Is Not Likely To Occur
Twice In The Average American Lifetime. We Stayed Over Two Or Three
Trains In London, However, Just Long Enough To Get In a Background, As
It Were, For Our Continental Experiences. The Weather Was Typical, And
The Background, From An Artistic Point Of View, Was Perfect. While Not
Precisely Opaque, You Couldn'T See Through It Anywhere.
When It Became A Question Of How We Were To Put In The Time, It Seemed
To Momma As If She Would Rather Lie Down Than Anything.
"You And Your Father, Dear," She Said, "Might Drive To St. Paul'S, When
It Stops Raining. Have A Good Look At The Dome And Try To Bring Me Back
The Sound Of The Echo. It Is Said To Be Very Weird. See That Poppa
Doesn'T Forget To Take Off His Hat In The Body Of The Church, But He
Might Put It On In The Whispering Gallery, Where It Is Sure To Be
Draughty. And Remember That The Funeral Coach Of The Duke Of Wellington
Is Down In The Crypt, Darling. You Might Bring Me An Impression Of That.
I Think I'Ll Have A Cup Of Chocolate And Try To Get A Little Sleep."
"Is It," Asked Poppa, "The Coach Which The Duke Sent To Represent Him At
The Other People'S Funerals, Or The One In Which He Attended His Own?"
"You Can Look That Up," Momma Replied; "But My Belief Is That It Was
Presented To The Duke By A Grateful Nation After His Demise. In Which
Case He Couldn'T Possibly Have Used It More Than Once."
I Looked At Momma Reprovingly, But, Seeing That She Had No Suspicion Of
Being Humorous, I Said Nothing. The Senator Pushed Out His Under Lip And
Pulled His Beard.
"I Don'T Know About St. Paul'S," He Said; "Wouldn'T Any Other
Impression Do As Well, Momma? It Doesn'T Seem To Be Just The Weather For
Crypts, And I Don'T Suppose The Hearse Of A Military Man Is Going To
Make The Surroundings Any More Cheerful. Now, My Idea Is That When Time
Is Limited You'Ve Got To Let Some Things Go. I'D Let The Historical Go
Every Time. I'D Let The Instructive Go--We Can'T Drag Around An Idea Of
The British Museum, For Instance. I'D Let Ancient Associations
Go--Unless You'Re Particularly Interested In The Parties Associated."
I Thought Of The Morning I Once Spent Picking Up Details, Traditions,
And Remains Of Dr. Johnson In Various Parts Of The West Central
District, And Privately Sympathised With This View, Though I Felt
Compelled To Look Severe. Momma, Who Was Now Lying Down, Dissented.
What, Then, She Demanded, Had We Crossed The Ocean For?
"Rather," Said She, "Where Time Is Limited Let Us Spread Ourselves, So
To Speak, Over The Area Of Culture Available. This Morning, For Example,
You, Husband, Might Ramble Round The Tower And Try To Picture The
Various Tragedies That Have Been Enacted There. You, Daughter, Might Go
And Bring Us Those Impressions From St. Paul'S, While I Will Content
Myself With Observing The Manners Of The British Chambermaid. So Far, I
Must Say, I Think They Are Lovely. Thus, Each Doing What He Can And She
Can, We Shall Take Back With Us, As A Family, More Real Benefit Than We
Could Possibly Obtain If We All Derived It From The Same Source."
"No," Said Poppa Firmly. "I Take Exception To Your Theory Right There,
Augusta. Culture Is A Very Harmless Thing, And There'S No Reason Why You
Shouldn'T Take It In, Till Your Back Gives Out, Every Day We'Re Here.
But I Consider That We'Ve Got The Article In Very Good Shape In Our
Little Town Over There In Illinois, And Personally I Don'T Propose To Go
Nosing Round After It In europe. And As A Family Man I Should Hate To Be
Divided Up For Any Such Purpose."
"Oh, If You'Re Going To Steel Yourself Against It, My Love----"
"Now, What Bramley Said To Me The Day Before We Sailed Was This--No, I'M
Not Steeling Myself Against It; My Every Pore Is Open To It--Bramley
Said: 'Your Time Is Limited, You Can'T See Everything. Very Well. See
The Unique. Keep That In Mind,' He Said; 'The Unique. And You'Ll Be
Surprised To Find How Very Little There Is In The World, Outside
Chicago, That Is Unique.'"
"Applying That Rule," Continued The Senator, Strolling Up And Down, "The
Things To See In London Are The Crystal Palace And The Albert Memorial.
Especially The Albert Memorial. That Was A Man Who Played Second Fiddle
To His Wife, And Enjoyed It, All His Life Long; And There He Sits In
Hyde Park To-Day, I Understand, Still Receiving The Respectful Homage Of
The Nation--The Only Case On Record."
"Westminster Abbey Would Be Much Better _For_ You," Said Momma.
"Don'T You Think," I Put In, "That If Momma Is To Get Any Sleep----"
"Certainly. Now, Another Thing That Bramley Said Was, 'Look Here,' He
Said, 'Remember The Unattainable Elsewhere--And Get It. You'Re Likely To
Be In London. Now The Unattainable Elsewhere, For That Town, Is
Gentlemen'S Suitings. For Style, Price, And Quality Of Goods The London
Tailor Leads The Known Universe. Wick,' He Said--He Was Terribly In
Earnest--'If You Have _One Hour_ In London, Leave Your Measure!'"
"In That Case," Said Momma, Sitting Up And Ascertaining The Condition Of
Her Hair, "You Would Like Me To Be With You, Love."
Now, If Momma Doesn'T Like Poppa'S Clothes, She Always Gives Them Away
Without Telling Him. This Would Be Thought Arbitrary In england, And I
Have Certainly Known The Senator Suddenly Reduced To Great Destitution
Through It, But America Is A Free Country, And There Is No Law To Compel
Us To See Our Male Relations Unbecomingly Clad Against Our Will.
"Well, To Tell The Truth, Augusta," Said Poppa, "I Would. I'D Like To
Get This Measure Through By A Unanimous Vote. It Will Save Complications
Afterwards. But Are You Sure You Wouldn'T Rather Lie Down?"
Momma Replied To The Effect That She Wouldn'T Mind His Going Anywhere
Else Alone, But This Was Important. She Put Her Gloves On As She Spoke,
And Her Manner Expressed That She Was Equal To Any Personal Sacrifice
For The End In View.
Colonel Bramley Had Given The Senator A Sartorial Address Of
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