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"To Be Going To Wind Up Your Trip On The Continent In Such A

Delightful Way. It Will Be--Ah--Something To Remember All Your Life."

 

"Oh,  I Suppose So," Said Isabel Plaintively,  "But I Should _So_ Much

Prefer To Be Done In church. If Mamma Would Only Consent!"

 

"She Never Would," I Declared,  For I Felt That I Must See Isabel Mrs.

Dod Within The Next Day Or Two At All Costs.

 

"A Registry Office Sounds So Uninteresting. I Suppose One Just Goes--As

One Is."

 

"I Don'T Think Veils And Trains Are Worn," I Observed,  "Except By

Persons Of High Rank Who Do Not Approve Of The Marriage Service. I Don'T

Know What The Marquis Of Queensberry Might Do,  Or Mr. Grant Allen."

 

"Of Course,  The Ceremony Doesn'T Matter To _Them_," Replied Isabel

Intelligently,  "Because They Would Just Wear Morning Dress _Anywhere_."

 

"Looking At It That Way,  They Haven'T Much To Lose," I Conceded.

 

"And No Wedding Cake," Grieved Isabel,  "And No Reception At The House Of

The Bride'S Mother. And You Can'T Have Your Picture In The _Queen_."

 

"There Would Be A Difficulty," I Said,  "About The Descriptive Part."

 

"And No Favours For The Coachman,  And No Trousseau----"

 

"I Wonder," I Said,  "Whether,  Under Those Circumstances,  It'S Really

Worth While."

 

"Oh,  Well!" Said Isabel.

 

"It'S A Night To Paris,  And A Morning To Dover," I Said. "We Will Wait

For The Others At Dover--I Fancy They'Ll Hurry--That'Ll Be Another Day.

I'Ll Take One _Robe De Nuit_,  Isabel,  Three Pocket Handkerchiefs,  One

Brush And Comb,  And Tooth Brush. You Shall Have All The Rest Of The

Bag."

 

"You Are A Perfect Love," Exclaimed Miss Portheris,  With The Most

Touching Gratitude.

 

"We Will Share The Soap," I Continued,  "Until You Are Married.

Afterwards----"

 

"Oh,  You Can Have It Then," Said Isabel,  "Of Course," And She Looked At

The Castle Of Rheinfels And Blushed Beautifully.

Chapter 28

"There Was Only One Thing That Disappointed Me," Mrs. Malt Was Saying At

The Dinner Table Of The Cologne Hotel,  "And That Wasn'T So Much What You

Would Call A Disappointment As A Surprise. White Windows-Blinds In a

Robber Castle On The Rhine I Did Not Expect To See."

 

I Slipped Away Before Momma Had Time To Announce And Explain Her

Disappointments,  But I Heard Her Begin. Then I Felt Safe,  For Criticism

Of The Rhine Is Absorbing Matter For Conversation. The Steamer'S Custom

Of Giving One Stewed Plums With Chicken Is An Affront To Civilisation To

Last A Good Twenty Minutes By Myself. I Tried To Occupy And Calm

Isabel'S Mind With It As We Walked Over To The Station,  Under The Twin

Towers Of The Cathedral,  But With Indifferent Success. To Add To Her

Agitation At This Crisis Of Her Life,  The Top Button Came Off Her Glove,

And When That Happened I Felt The Inutility Of Words.

 

We Passed The Policemen On The Cathedral Square With Affected

Indifference. We Believed We Were Not Liable To Arrest,  But Policemen,

When One Is Eloping,  Have A Forbidding Look. We Refrained,  By Mutual

Arrangement,  From Turning Once To Look Back For Possible Pursuers,  But

That Is Not A Thing I Would Undertake To Do Again Under Similar

Circumstances. We Even Had The Hardihood To Buy A Box Of Chocolates On

The Way,  That Is,  Isabel Bought Them,  While I Watched Current Events At

The Confectioner'S Door. The Station Was Really Only About Seven

Minutes' Walk From The Hotel,  But It Seemed An Hour Before I Was Able To

Point Out Dicky,  Alert And Expectant,  On The Edge Of The Platform Behind

The Line Of Cabs.

 

"So Near The Fulfilment Of His Hopes,  Poor Fellow," I Remarked.

 

"Yes," Concurred Isabel,  "But Do You Know I Almost Wish He Wasn'T

Coming."

 

"Don'T Tell Him So,  Whatever You Do," I Exclaimed. "I Know Dicky'S

Sensitive Nature,  And It Is Just As Likely As Not That He Would Take You

At Your Word. And I Will Not Elope With You Alone."

 

I Need Not Have Been Alarmed. Isabel Had No Intention Of Reducing The

Party At The Last Moment. I Listened For Protests And Hesitations When

They Met,  But All I Heard Was,  "_Have_ You Got The Bag?"

 

Dicky Had The Bag,  The Tickets,  The Places,  Everything. He Had Already

Assumed,  Though Only A Husband Of To-Morrow,  The Imperative And

Responsible Connection With Isabel'S Arrangements. He Told Her She Was

To Sleep With Her Head Toward The Engine,  That She Was To Drink Nothing

But Soda-Water At Any Of The Stations,  And That She Must Not,  On Any

Account,  Leave The Carriage When We Changed For Paris Until He Came For

Her. It Would Be My Business To See That These Instructions Were

Carried Out.

 

"What Shall I Do," I Asked,  "If She Cries In The Night?"

 

But Dicky Was Sweeping Us Toward The Waiting-Room,  And Did Not Hear Me.

He Placed Us Carefully In The Seats Nearest The Main Door,  Which Opened

Upon The Departure Platform,  Full Of People Hurrying To And Fro,  And Of

The More Leisurely Movement Of Shunting Trains. The Lamps Were Lighted,

Though Twilight Still Hung About; The Scene Was Pleasantly Exciting. I

Said To Isabel That I Never Thought I Should Enjoy An Elopement So Much.

 

"_I_ Shall Enjoy Settling Down," She Replied Thoughtfully. "Dicky Has

Promised Me That All The China Shall Be Hand-Painted."

 

"You Won'T Mind My Leaving You For Five Seconds," Said Mr. Dod,  Suddenly

Exploring His Breast-Pocket; "The Train Doesn'T Leave For A Quarter Of

An Hour Yet,  And I Find I Haven'T A Smoke About Me," And He Opened The

Door.

 

"Not More That Five Seconds Then," I Said,  For Nothing Is More Trying To

The Nerves Than To Wait For A Train Which Is Due In a Few Minutes And A

Man Who Is Buying Cigars At The Same Time.

 

Dicky Left The Door Open,  And That Was How I Heard A Strangely Familiar

Voice,  With An Inflexion Of Enforced Calm And Repression,  Suddenly

Address Him From Behind It.

 

"_Good Evening,  Dod!_"

 

I Did Not Shriek,  Or Even Grasp Isabel'S Hand. I Simply Got Up And

Stood A Little Nearer The Door. But I Have Known Few Moments So

Electrical.

 

"My Dear Chap,  How _Are_ You?" Exclaimed Dicky. "How Are You? Staying In

Cologne? I'M Just Off To Paris."

 

I Thought I Heard A Heavy Sigh,  But It Was Somewhat Lost In The

Trundling Of The Porters' Trucks.

 

"Then," Said Arthur Page,  For I Had Not Been Deceived,  "It Is As I

Supposed."

 

"What Did You Suppose,  Old Chap?" Asked Dicky In a Joyous And Expansive

Tone.

 

"You Do Not Go Alone?"

 

The Bitterness Of This Was Not A Thing That Could Be Communicated To

Paper And Ink.

 

"Why,  No," Said Dicky,  "The Fact Is----"

 

I Saw The Wave--It Was Characteristic--With Which Mr. Page Stopped Him.

"I Have Been Made Acquainted With The Facts," He Said. "Do Not Dwell

Upon Them. I Do Not,  Cannot,  Blame You,  If You Have Really Won Her

Heart."

 

"So Far As I Know," Said Dicky,  With Some Hauteur,  "There'S Nothing In

It To Give _You_ The Hump."

 

"Why Waste Time In Idle Words?" Replied Arthur. "You Will Lose Your

Train. I Could Never Forgive Myself If I Were The Cause Of That."

 

"You Won'T Be," Said Dicky Sententiously,  Looking At His Watch.

 

"But I Must Ask--Must Demand--The Privilege Of One Parting Word," Said

Arthur Firmly. "Do Not Be Apprehensive Of Any Painful Scene. I Desire

Only To Wish Her Every Happiness,  And To Bid Her Farewell."

 

Mr. Dod,  Though On The Eve Of His Wedding Day,  Was Not Wholly Oblivious

Of The Love Affairs Of Other People. I Could See A New-Born And

Overwhelming Comprehension Of The Situation In His Face As He Put His

Head In at The Door And Beckoned To Isabel. Evidently He Could Not Trust

Himself To Speak.

 

"Miss Portheris," He Said,  With Magnificent Self-Control,  "Mr. Page. Mr.

Page Would Like To Wish You Every Happiness And To Bid You Farewell,

Isabel,  And I Don'T See Why He Shouldn'T. We Have Still Five Minutes."

 

There Are Limits To The Propriety Of All Practical Jokes,  And I Walked

Out At Once To Assure Arthur That His Misunderstanding Was Quite

Natural,  And Somewhat Less Exquisitely Humorous Than Mr. Dod Appeared To

Find It.

 

"I Am Merely Eloping Too," I Said,  "In Case Anything Should Happen To

Isabel." Realising That This Was Also Being Misinterpreted,  I Added,

"She Is Not Accustomed To Travelling Alone."

 

We Had Shaken Hands,  And That Always Makes A Situation More Normal,  But

There Was Still Plainly An Enormous Amount To Clear Up,  And Painfully

Little Time To Do It In,  Though Dicky With Great Consideration

Immediately Put Isabel Into The Carriage And Followed Her To Its

Remotest Corner,  Leaving Me Standing At The Door,  And Arthur Holding It

Open. The Second Bell Rang As I Learned From Mr. Page That The

Pattersons Had Gone To Newport This Summer,  And That It Was Extremely

Hot In New York When He Left. As The Guard Came Along The Platform

Shutting Up The Doors Of The Train,  Arthur'S Agitation Increased,  And I

Saw That His Customary Suffering In connection With Me,  Was Quite As

Great As Anybody Could Desire. The Guard Had Skipped Our Carriage,  But

It Was Already Vibrating In departure--Creaking--Moving. I Looked At

Arthur In a Manner--I Confess It--Which Annihilated Our Two Months Of

Separation.

 

"Then Since You'Re Not Going To Marry Dod," He Inquired Breathlessly,

Walking Along With The Train--"I'Ve Heard Various Reports--Whom,  May I

Ask,  _Are_ You Going To Marry?"

 

"Why,  Nobody," I Said,  "Unless----"

 

"Well,  I Should Think So!" Ejaculated Arthur,  And In Spite Of The

Frightful German Language Used By The Guard,  He Jumped Into The

Carriage.

 

He Has Maintained Ever Since That He Was Obliged To Do It In Order To

Explain His Presence On The Platform,  Which Was,  Of Course,  Carrying The

Matter To Its Logical Conclusion. It Seemed That The Senator Had Advised

Him To Come Over And Meet Us Accidentally In Venice,  Where He Had

Intimated That Reunion Would Be Only A Question Of Privacy And A Full

Moon. On His Arrival At Venice--It Was _His_ Gondola That We Shared--The

Senator Had Discouraged Him For The Moment,  And Had Since Constantly

Telegraphed Him That The Opportune Moment Had Not Yet Arrived. Finally

Poppa Had Written To Say That,  Though He Grieved To Announce That I

Was Engaged To Dicky,  And He Could Not Guarantee Any Disengagement,  He

Was Still Operating To That End. This,  However,  Precipitated Mr. Page To

Cologne,  Where Observation Of Our Movements At A Distance Brought Him To

The Wrong Conclusion,  But Fortunately To The Right Platform. As Isabel

Remarked,  If Such Things Were Put In books Nobody Would Believe Them.

 

 

 

It Seemed Quite Unreasonable And Absurd When We Talked It Over That

Arthur And I Should Travel From Cologne To Dover Merely To Witness The

Nuptials Of Dicky And Isabel. As Dicky Pointed Out,  Moreover,  Our Moral

Support When It Came To The Interview With Mrs. Portheris Would Be Much

More Valuable If It Were United. There Would Be The Registrar--One

Registrar Would Do--And There Would Be The Opportunity Of Making It A

Square Party. These Were Dicky'S Arguments; Arthur'S Were More Personal

But Equally Convincing,  And I Must Admit That I Thought A Good Deal Of

The Diplomatic Anticipation Of That Magnificent Wedding Which Was To

Illustrate And Adorn The Survival Of The Methods Of The Doge Of Venice

In The Family Of A Senator Of Chicago. And Thus It Was That We Were All

Married Sociably Together In dover The Following Morning,  Despatching A

Telegram Immediately Afterwards To The Senator At The Cologne Hotel As

Follows:

 

     "We Have Eloped.

                       (Signed) R. And I. Dod.

                                 A. And M. Page."

 

Later On In The Day We Added Details,  To Show That We Bore No Malice,

And Announced That We Were Prepared To Await The Arrival Of The Rest Of

The Party For Any Length Of Time At Dover.

 

We Even Went Down To The Station To Meet Them,  Where Recriminations And

Congratulations Were So Mingled That It Was Impossible,  For Some Time,

To Tell Whether We Were Most Blessed Or Banned. Even In The Confusion Of

The Moment,  However,  I Noticed That Mr. Mafferton Made Miss Callis'S

Baggage His Special Care,  And Saw Clearly In The Cordiality Of Her

Sentiments Toward Me,  And

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