A Terrible Temptation (Fiscle Part 3) - Charles Reade (recommended ebook reader txt) 📗

To Nothing But

Sorrow And Deep Despondency.

 

Not That She Nursed Her Grief. She Had Been Told To Be Brave,  And She

Tried. But Her Grief Was Her Master. It Came Welling Through Her Eyes

In A Moment,  Of Its Own Accord.

 

She Was Deeply Mortified Too. But,  In Her Gentle Nature,  Anger Could

Play But A Secondary Part. Her Indignation Was Weak Beside Her Grief,

And Did Little To Bear Her Up.

 

Yet Her Sense Of Shame Was Vivid; And She Tried Hard Not To Let Her

Father See How Deeply She Loved The Man Who Had Gone From Her To Miss

Somerset. Besides,  He Had Ordered Her To Fight Against A Love That Now

Could Only Degrade Her; He Had Ordered,  And It Was For Her To Obey.

 

As Soon As Sir Charles Was Better,  He Wrote Her A Long,  Humble Letter,

Owning That,  Before He Knew Her,  He Had Led A Free Life; But Assuring

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Her That,  Ever Since That Happy Time,  His Heart And His Time Had Been

Solely Hers; As To His Visit To Miss Somerset,  It Had Been One Of

Business Merely,  And This He Could Prove,  If She Would Receive Him. The

Admiral Could Be Present At That Interview,  And Sir Charles Hoped To

Convince Him He Had Been Somewhat Hasty And Harsh In His Decision.

 

Now The Admiral Had Foreseen Sir Charles Would Write To Her; So He Had

Ordered His Man To Bring All Letters To Him First.

 

He Recognized Sir Charles's Hand,  And Brought The Latter In To Bella.

"Now,  My Child," Said He,  "Be Brave. Here Is A Letter From That Man."

 

"Oh,  Papa! I Thought He Would. I Knew He Would." And The Pale Face Was

Flushed With Joy And Hope All In A Moment.

 

"Do What?"

 

"Write And Explain."

 

"Explain? A Thing That Is Clear As Sunshine. He Has Written To Throw

Dust In Your Eyes Again. You Are Evidently In No State To Judge. _I_

Shall Read This Letter First."

 

"Yes,  Papa," Said Bella,  Faintly.

 

He Did Read It,  And She Devoured His Countenance All The Time.

 

"There Is Nothing In It. He Offers No Real Explanation,  But Only Says

He Can Explain,  And Asks For An Interview--To Play Upon Your Weakness.

If I Give You This Letter,  It Will Only Make You Cry,  And Render Your

Task More Difficult. I Must Be Strong For Your Good,  And Set You An

Example. I Loved This Young Man Too; But,  Now I Know Him"--Then He

Actually Thrust The Letter Into The Fire.

 

But This Was Too Much. Bella Shrieked At The Act,  And Put Her Hand To

Her Heart,  And Shrieked Again. "Ah! You'll Kill Us,  You'll Kill Us

Both!" She Cried. "Poor Charles! Poor Bella! You Don't Love Your

Child--You Have No Pity." And,  For The First Time,  Her Misery Was

Violent. She Writhed And Wept,  And At Last Went Into Violent Hysterics,

And Frightened That Stout Old Warrior More Than Cannon Had Ever

Frightened Him; And Presently She Became Quiet,  And Wept At His Knees,

And Begged His Forgiveness,  And Said He Was Wiser Than She Was,  And She

Would Obey Him In Everything,  Only He Must Not Be Angry With Her If She

Could Not Live.

 

Then The Stout Admiral Mingled His Tears With Hers,  And Began To

Realize What Deep Waters Of Affliction His Girl Was Wading In.

 

Yet He Saw No Way Out But Firmness. He Wrote To Sir Charles To Say That

His Daughter Was Too Ill To Write; But That No Explanation Was

Possible,  And No Interview Could Be Allowed.

 

Sir Charles,  Who,  After Writing,  Had Conceived The Most Sanguine Hopes,

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Was Now As Wretched As Bella. Only,  Now That He Was Refused A Hearing,

He Had Wounded Pride To Support Him A Little Under Wounded Love.

 

Admiral Bruce,  Fearing For His Daughter's Health,  And Even For Her

Life--She Pined So Visibly--Now Ordered Her To Divide Her Day Into

Several Occupations,  And Exact Divisions Of Time--An Hour For This,  An

Hour For That; An Hour By The Clock--And Here He Showed Practical

Wisdom. Try It,  Ye That Are Very Unhappy,  And Tell Me The Result.

 

As A Part Of This Excellent System,  She Had To Walk Round The Square

From Eleven To Twelve A. M.,  But Never Alone; He Was Not Going To Have

Sir Charles Surprising Her Into An Interview. He Always Went With Her,

And,  As He Was Too Stiff To Walk Briskly,  He Sat Down,  And She Had To

Walk In Sight. He Took A Stout Stick With Him--For Sir Charles. But Sir

Charles Was Proud,  And Stayed At Home With His Deep Wound.

 

One Day,  Walking Round The Square With A Step Of Mercury And Heart Of

Lead,  Bella Bruce Met A Sister Of Charity Pacing Slow And Thoughtful;

Their Eyes Met And Drank,  In A Moment,  Every Feature Of Each Other.

 

The Sister,  Apparently,  Had Seen The Settled Grief On That Fair Face;

For The Next Time They Met,  She Eyed Her With A Certain Sympathy,  Which

Did Not Escape Bella.

 

This Subtle Interchange Took Place Several Times And Bella Could Not

Help Feeling A Little Grateful. "Ah!" She Thought To Herself,  "How Kind

Religious People Are! I Should Like To Speak To Her." And The Next Time

They Met She Looked Wistfully In The Sister's Face.

 

She Did Not Meet Her Again,  For She Went And Rested On A Bench,  In

Sight Of Her Father,  But At Some Distance From Him. Unconsciously To

Herself,  His Refusal Even To Hear Sir Charles Repelled Her. That Was So

Hard On Him And Her. It Looked Like Throwing Away The Last Chance,  The

Last Little Chance Of Happiness.

 

By-And-By The Sister Came And Sat On The Same Bench.

 

Bella Was Hardly Surprised,  But Blushed High,  For She Felt That Her Own

Eyes Had Invited The Sympathy Of A Stranger; And Now It Seemed To Be

Coming. The Timid Girl Felt Uneasy. The Sister Saw That,  And Approached

Her With Tact. "You Look Unwell," Said She,  Gently,  But With No

Appearance Of Extravagant Interest Or Curiosity.

 

"I Am--A Little," Said Bella,  Very Reservedly.

 

"Excuse My Remarking It. We Are Professional Nurses,  And Apt To Be A

Little Officious,  I Fear."

 

No Reply.

 

"I Saw You Were Unwell. But I Hope It Is Not Serious. I Can Generally

Tell When The Sick Are In Danger." A Peculiar Look. "I Am Glad Not To

See It In So Young And--Good A Face."

 

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"You Are Young,  Too; Very Young,  And--" She Was Going To Say

"Beautiful," But She Was Too Shy--"To Be A Sister Of Charity. But I Am

Sure You Never Regret Leaving Such A World As This Is."

 

"Never. I Have Lost The Only Thing I Ever Valued In It."

 

"I Have No Right To Ask You What That Was."

 

"You Shall Know Without Asking. One I Loved Proved Unworthy."

 

The Sister Sighed Deeply,  And Then,  Hiding Her Face With Her Hands For

A Moment,  Rose Abruptly,  And Left The Square,  Ashamed,  Apparently,  Of

Having Been Betrayed Into Such A Confession.

 

Bella,  When She Was Twenty Yards Off,  Put Out A Timid Hand,  As If To

Detain Her; But She Had Not The Courage To Say Anything Of The Kind.

 

She Never Told Her Father A Word. She Had Got Somebody Now Who Could

Sympathize With Her Better Than He Could.

 

Next Day The Sister Was There,  And Bella Bowed To Her When She Met Her.

This Time It Was The Sister Who Went And Sat On The Bench.

 

Bella Continued Her Walk For Some Time,  But At Last Could Not Resist

The Temptation. She Came And Sat Down On The Bench,  And Blushed; As

Much As To Say,  "I Have The Courage To Come,  But Not To Speak Upon A

Certain Subject,  Which Shall Be Nameless."

 

The Sister,  As May Be Imagined,  Was Not So Shy. She Opened A

Conversation. "I Committed A Fault Yesterday. I Spoke To You Of Myself,

And Of The Past: It Is Discouraged By Our Rules. We Are Bound To

Inquire The Griefs Of Others; Not To Tell Our Own."

 

This Was A Fair Opening,  But Bella Was Too Delicate To Show Her Wounds

To A Fresh Acquaintance.

 

The Sister,  Having Failed At That,  Tried Something Very Different.

 

"But I Could Tell You A Pitiful Case About Another. Some Time Ago I

Nursed A Gentleman Whom Love Had Laid On A Sick-Bed."

 

"A Gentleman! What! Can They Love As We Do?" Said Bella,  Bitterly.

 

"Not Many Of Them; But This Was An Exception. But I Don't Know Whether

I Ought To Tell These Secrets To So Young A Lady."

 

"Oh,  Yes--Please--What Else Is There In This World Worth Talking About?

Tell Me About The Poor Man Who Could Love As We Can."

 

The Sister Seemed To Hesitate,  But At Last Decided To Go On.

 

"Well,  He Was A Man Of The World,  And He Had Not Always Been A Good

Man; But He Was Trying To Be. He Had Fallen In Love With A Young Lady,

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And Seen The Beauty Of Virtue,  And Was Going To Marry Her And Lead A

Good Life. But He Was A Man Of Honor,  And There Was A Lady For Whom He

Thought It Was His Duty To Provide. He Set His Lawyer To Draw A Deed,

And His Lawyer Appointed A Day For Signing It At Her House. The Poor

Man Came Because His Lawyer Told Him. Do You Think There Was Any Great

Harm In That?"

 

"No; Of Course Not."

 

"Well,  Then,  He Lost His Love For That."

 

Miss Bruce's Color Began To Come And Go,  And Her Supple Figure To

Crouch A Little. She