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the last time you came, didn't you have fun?"

   I sighed.Last time had been different.Last time, things weren't so complicated as they were now. Last time, I had blabbed out that Mandy wasn't the lead. Didn't he know the importance of last time?

"Ok, fine."

  The grin that Jake gave me was almost enough to make my heart melt.I sighed again, when would I EVER stop listening to my heart instead of my mind?

"Good, come along, she's coming,Ash."Jake called out to Ashley, she didnot look very happy with this news but she smiled anyway.

"Great. It's gonna be fun." Ashley smiled, coming towards me.

  "Jake's parties are always fun." I said.

"Let's see."

  I was soon at Jake's house. True to his word, Jake had invited every member of Sustenance, so the house was full. I had been sitting here dully, while Jake and Ash danced together, Jake had never once asked me to dance with him. I was seriously beginning to think that this was a mistake. I had not even told Mummy that I would be going to Jake's after school. She would be worried sick.

Suddenly, Jake and Ash laughed, and went out of the room. Making an excuse that I needed another drink, I got up and tried to follow them. Where were they? They had got a head start, so I couldn't know. I opened one door after another, but they were all empty.

  Then I saw light in the far end of the hall, so I went there. I turned the corner, the room was only slightly open, but I could still see what was going on inside. What I saw made me gasp. It was Jake and  Ash. A tear ran down my cheek.Yes, it was Jake and Ash all right, and they were kissing.

 

Chapter 21

The gasp which issued through my lips was almost impossible to hear. I had lost my voice. Silent tears ran down my cheeks. Jake, Oh, Jake! I couldn't believe it, and I couldn't stand to watch this. I closed the door softly behind me, they didn't even hear. They were too otherwise preoccupied. I ran down the hall, and into the main room, I couldn't believe I had been so badly fooled. I had lost everything.Everything!

   All for Jake and Ash. So this was what Jake had wanted to tell  me, and Ashley had told him not to. So that she could keep on using me. Oh, oh! I gripped a chair for support, I could barely support my weight. The chair gave away beneath me.No one noticed, everyone was too busy dancing and having fun.Everyone except me. I sunk to the floor, still crying, still remembering. Oh,Mandy! I so badly needed Mandy now, but I didn't have her.No, I had lost her too, all for Jake and Ash. All for these liars!

  I stood up. No, I couldn't be here anymore. I opened the door in one swift motion and ran out wildly.I heard someone call behind me, but I didn't care. There was darkness around me, the street lights were switched off, I still ran off wildly, not even bothering to stop when a passing car almost hit me. I couldn't stop now, I had to run, had to drive out all the memories.Had to forget.

 I stopped when I reached my house. So near Mandy's house. I could go there if I wanted. I could bury myself in Mandy's warm hug and forget everything. Everything could be as it had been. But I had lost the chance now, there had been too many mistakes on my part. I wasn't Stephanie, Mandy McHugh's best friend anymore.No, I was Stephanie, Ashley John's and Jake Wilson's sidekick.

  I ran up the steps abd slammed upon the door, running wildly up the stairs towards my room. My mother's voice stopped me,

"Steph?Are you okay?Steph!"

I slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it. I fell down on my bed, fresh tears threatening to spill, I let them fall, not even caring that my mother could hear me and it would hurt her.She had started banging on the door now,

"Stephanie, come out! What's happened?"

"Go away, mummy!" I cried out, and threw a pillow at the door, it made a feathery sound as it crashed,"Please!"

"Just tell me what it is, Steph, maybe I can help you-"

   "No! Just leave me alone!"

"Stephanie,please-"

   "Just go, mummy!"

I heard her sigh, and then her heavy footsteps started down the stairs, she was gone.I was alone now.I held both of my hands tightly over my head. I couldn't live with this.No,I couldn't! Not Jake! And in that one moment, I realized how much I liked him.How much I liked Jake, that it made me devastated to see him with someone else. And Ashley knew it! That was why she did not want Jake to tell me, so that she could keep on using me. Be hell with her! I picked up a cup randomly and threw it towards the door. It made a loud sound as it crashed, the sound of something breaking.The sound of my breaking soul.

   I sobbed harder and covered my face in my pillow. Oh, the only person I ever really liked.I trusted her! I believed that liar,Ashley, instead of Mandy!I remembered Serena's words,

"Well, you deserted your own sister and helped Sandy, you had to have your punishment."

   Oh. And that creep,Jake! What had he said when I had asked him if he and Ash were going out?

"Ashley is just my best friend!!"

  Liar.All liars.I threw my backpack at the wall. It's contents fell on the grond. I stared at them, that was all I seemed to be doing now adays, breaking things, breaking relationships, and then staring at the remains. But there was something sparkly there. I got uo and bent down towards the door to examine it. It was a picture.The picture.The one of me and Jake together,laughing.Given by Mandy.Oh,Mandy!Oh,Jake! All the million people that I had lost. And all before Ashley.

 I looked down at the photo and smiled. Jake ad I seemed to be in a hut, Jake had his one arm around me, while with the other, he was making horns behind my back. I was smiling at the camera, whereas he was making silly faces. I fell down and laid my head against the door.If only, if only we could be this happy again. If only everything could be as it used to be.I ran my finger lightly over Jake's face, smiling, remembering.

 "In your looks for one, you have grown more beautiful,Steph."

Sweet sensitive Jake.My sobs were louder now, I had finally found my voice. I heard Mummy's footsteps against the stairs. So she was still listening outside, waiting for me to cool off.

"Leave her alone,Jake, she'll cool off."

Ashley, that creep! That liar.I trusted her so blindly. Never once doubting that she could do anything to hurt me. Though what had she done? Only like Jake, as I had. She had only followed her heart, not really intending to hurt me. But, oh! I had been hurt. I was devastated, whether she meant this or not, she had hurt me alot. I remembered how she had once asked whether there was anything between me and Jake. She had said that she was merely curious. Now I knew otherwise.

   "I loveth you not." I remembered that scene with Jake. It seemed like years ago now, when I had declared my love for Jake, and he had refused me, saying that he loved Ashley. So right. So true. I should have known, but then he had said,

" I do love you, Steph, I am just not able to tell you."

And I had said,"You love me?" And he had looked surprised, as if taken aback, and said,

   "Yeah.I mean, in the play."

Oh,Jake! You could not even love me in a play.You lied. You loved Ashley. It seemed that they were destined to be together.Ashley and Jake. And I was destined to sit outside and mope forever by Mandy's grave, while waiting for my love to come and kill me. I sighed and rolled on the floor, towards my bed. I was under my bed now, light came from both sides. I closed my eyes.

 "Ashley is my best friend. I couldn't remain in The Educators withour her."

Oh,Jake, why didn't you SAY? why didn't you tell me that you and Ashley were something mire then just friends? Why did you give me false hope? I remembered how he had once said,

"Looking for me?"

And I had said,"No, you aren't special enough." And he had asked who that special person was, like he was really interested, and when I had said that that special person hadn't came into my life yet, he had said,

"Then make do with the one's you have."

Why did he say that? Oh,why did you say that,Jake? Mandy had been so right. Mandy had known. Mandy knew beforehand how cunning Ashley was. That was why she kept her distance, and she tried to warn me too, but oh! I did not listen, and now...Now, everything was over. Mandy and I were over, she had said,

 "Go run after your Jake and ASH. Leave me alone!!"

She had warned me, she had warned me that Jake and Ashley were together.

  "It hurts you, doesn't it? But it's true.I have seen it."

Something pricked me.I held it up. It was that necklace. The necklace which was the reason for all this. Cursed thing.What did one necklace MATTER? how could I have been stupid to risk  my friendship with Mandy over one stupid necklace?

"I never want to see you again,Stephanie Moore!"

Oh, it was all this necklace's fault. I threw it with all my power at the wall. It broke into a million pieces. The beads flew here and there.Great. Now I would not be able to walk without slipping. I rolled out from under the bed, and with some difficulty, managed to climb up on the bed. I would be strong.I would show them all. Jake, Ashley,Mandy and everyone else who thought they could take advantage of me because I was weak.

Yes, I would show them all. I would be indifferent to any kind of emotion.Yes. I looked at the picture in my hand, the one of me and Jake, and then sighed.Yes, I threw it with all my might towards the wall, where though it did not make any kind of sound, I knew it had crashed. I knew it had broken. Because it was over.Jake  and I were over. It was broken.Forever.

Chapter 22

I

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