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Miguel, just forget about it.” I said almost laughing. “Can you help me?” I asked gesturing to the bed.

 

He moved the extra pillow out of the way and moved the covers back. I gently laid Secret down on her back and watched her for a minute. I sat on the bed next to her and took her shoes off. Then I placed the covers over her and tucked her in.

 

“I don't want to take her clothes off. She can do it herself...I don’t want to hurt her.” I said softly out loud.

 

“I’ll go get your stuff for you now, while she’s still asleep.” He whispered walking towards the door.

 

I turned to Miguel and thanked him.

 

“De nada.” he smiled as he left the room.

 

Miguel:

 

I walked back down the stairs to the main floor. This hotel was nowhere near fancy. Very cheap and tacky. The lights in the halls were either out, dim or flickering. But most of all, I didn’t like the man at the counter. I wish they could’ve stayed with me, but I know Tamar wouldn’t allow it. I got to my car and started to get in but stopped when I noticed the man at the counter staring at me. We glared at each other uncomfortably before he finally looked away.

 

I got in and drove halfway home before being stopped by a red light. I rested my head on the steering wheel and let out an exhausted sigh. A loud horn honked and shook me out of my daze. When I arrived home, I opened the door and my little dog came towards me. I picked him up and sat on the couch. I looked around the empty house and for the first time, felt a sense of loneliness. “I’m not lonely, am I?” I asked my dog. He looked at me as if he had understood my question. I laughed and set him on the ground.

 

I went upstairs to grab Tamar’s things. She had already packed them. I put the bag into my trunk and drove off to get them to Tamar. I called her beforehand to let her know I was coming. She was already downstairs when I pulled up. I pulled the bag out of the trunk and set it on the ground. Tamar came around and grabbed it as I was closing the trunk.

 

“It’s alright, I got it.” I said as I took it from her hands.

 

She smiled and nodded in approval. She held the doors open for me until we got to her room. I set the bag down by the door.

 

“Thanks for everything Miguel.” She said softly as she hugged me. She backed off and started playing with her fingers. She always does that when she’s nervous.

 

“It’s alright.” I felt like I had to do something. This is my child and her mother here.

 

“Well goodnight.” I said trying to break the awkward silence.

 

I started to go for the door but something was on my mind.

 

“Tamar, I’m sorry for last night. I know I was not being easy to work with.” I apologized.

 

“It’s fine Miguel. I understand.” She smiled.

 

“Tamar…did we?” I asked embarrassed.

 

She looked at me with a puzzled face.

 

“I know that I was drunk and I only remember so much. I thought we did but I didn’t wake up next to you like we used to She just looked at me and didn’t respond.

 

“Did we?” I asked now playing with my fingers.

 

“Did you want us to?” she answered.

 

“Don’t’ answer with a question.” I said amused.

 

She gently pushed me towards the door.

 

“Tamar, please?” I begged.

 

“If you don’t remember, then why does it matter?” she smiled.

 

She had a point.

 

“Tamar…” I said with sigh.

 

“Fine. No, we didn’t.”

 

“You lie.” I said unsure of myself. She started to laugh.

 

“I’m serious,” she said trying to catch her breath.

 

“I mean, we fooled around a lot, but we never touched.” She said sweetly.

 

“Really?” I asked a tiny bit surprised.

 

“Honest to God truth.” She responded before pushing me into the hall. “Goodnight.” She smiled as she closed the door.

 

Damn, no love? I asked myself. A part of me was a little relieved, but the rest was a little disappointed. I’m not exactly sure why...maybe because deep down inside, I wanted to. I wanted her, I had to admit. I walked back down the stairs to my car and got in, relaxing myself as I drove home. I started to think about Leelah, I haven’t talked to her since she left the hospital. I wonder how she’s doing. But it’s late, I’ll call her later. As I pulled into my driveway, I turned off the car and soaked in the events of today. I feel like I have different emotions and motives.

 

A part of me wants to be the family man that I never had, and to take care of my responsibilities. And the other, feels like maybe I should just back out and let Tamar and Secret leave and live their lives their own way. Maybe it would be for the best. But I can’t, I will not allow myself to abandon her…or them? I'm confusing myself. I opened the door and hung up my coat on the coat rack. That’s funny…I don’t remember leaving my living room light on. I swear I turned it off, right before I left.

 

I looked around my surroundings to see if anything else was out of place. I didn’t see anything yet, until I noticed that my smaller dog was outside. He was inside the first time I came back, but I had never put him out…did I? I dismissed the idea and jogged upstairs to check the rest of the house to see if other things were out of place, but there was nothing. Maybe I’m mistaken. Maybe things have finally taken their toll on me, I laughed to myself. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked around once more before heading back downstairs.

 

When I got to the bottom, there was a man standing near my glass sliding door. He locked his eyes with mine and a gentle smile curled upon his face. It was sort of an unreadable expression, so I couldn’t tell of his intentions. He seemed very unmoved by the fact that I had caught him inside my house uninvited. In fact, he looked as though he were enjoying it.

 

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to lock your front door?” He giggled.

 

“Who are you? What do you want?" I asked feeling myself slowly growing defensive but remaining calm.

 

His hair was black and shorter than mines. He had facial hair that was cleaned up very nicely. So, I could tell that he wasn't a bum...I think.

 

“I just wanted to say Hola to you.” He said smiling.

 

“Ok, Hola, now get out.” I said sternly.

 

“C’mon, you really don’t remember me?” he said walking closer.

 

“Stop, you stay there. Don’t come any closer” I said backing away a little bit.

 

He stopped and gave me a puzzled look.

 

“Oh, really? I can’t give love to my own familia?” he asked laughing.

 

Family? He can speak Spanish? Who the hell is this?

 

“Lo siento señor, pero no te conozco.” He looked at me confused.

 

I guess he doesn’t speak Spanish.

 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.” I repeated in English.

 

“No, I understood you. I just don’t understand how could you not recognize your own hermano, your brother?” He said with a disbelieved scoff.

 

Brother?

 

“C’mon Miguelito, don’t tell me that you don’t know me.” He said Coming closer.

 

Miguelito? I haven’t heard that name in so long, only close family called me that.  The name brought back so many memories instantly.

 

“Enrique?” I questioned, not really wanting to believe him.

 

“Hola, baby brother. Miss me?” he asked coming over to hug me. I didn’t really embrace him back.

 

“It’s good to see you Miguelito, been a very long time.” I just looked at him.

 

“Yea, try 25 years.” I corrected flatly.

 

“Well, I’ve been trying to call you.” He admitted nervously.

 

“So, that was you? Calling here and not answering?” I asked.

 

“Sí, the calls kept dropping during my flight.” 

 

“I see. Well, what do you want?” I asked.

 

“I told you, I wanted to say hello.” he answered.

 

“Hello. Now leave.” I said pointing to the door.

 

“Really, you are going to put your own family out?” he asked amused.

 

“I have no family.” I stated flatly.

 

“You do realize I have feelings, don't you? C'mon Miguelito, don't be like that.”  he sarcastically.

 

“Stop calling me that!” I snapped.

 

”You are not welcome here. Vete, go away.”

 

“I see...,” He said thinking. “You still don't forgive me for leaving you and mother, do you?”

 

“Exactly. Now get out.” I repeated.

 

“Miguel, that was so long ago.” he said. I said nothing. “I see a grudge has traveled for many years.”

 

“You promised me.” I said slowly remembering.

 

“Miguel, you're a grown man now, get over it.” he said flatly while walking over to my sink. “Where do you keep your glasses?” He asked looking through my cabinets.

 

“Yea, you're right...but I wasn't a grown man when you made the promise.” I said standing with my arms folded.

 

He got a glass and turned around to look at me. “Look, you're right. I'm sorry.” he said defeated.

 

“You never came back. You didn't tell mama where you were going, and you made me promise not to tell her that you were leaving. In exchange you were gonna come back for us, but you didn't, you never came back.”

 

 “All is forgiven.” He stated as he drank from the glass.

 

“No its not.” I said surprised with his audacity.

 

“Well, reality had to hit you sooner or later. I just taught you an early lesson, that's all.” he replied.

 

I gave him a confused look. He laughed. “About liars Miguelito.”

 

I shook my head in disbelief. “You're an asshole.”

 

He looked at me with amusement.

 

“Well, you don't have to call me names. At least you know now.” he laughed .

 

“I really should just kick your ass, that's what I should do.” I said shaking my head and walking towards the bathroom mirror.

 

“Yea you probably should but, you won't.” he called after me mockingly.

 

His words pissed me off a little.

 

“What?” I asked provoking him as I walked out of the bathroom.

 

“You'll just recoil in fear like you've always have.” he said taking another sip from the glass. “I used to win every fight we had.” He laughed.

 

“I'm not a little kid anymore. I could hurt you.” I said reassuring him.

 

“Prove it then.” He said setting the glass down.  “C'mon, you've got all this anger and resentment towards me. Let it out. Strike a punch.” he said smiling while coming close to me and pointing at himself.

 

I stared at him but I didn't move.

 

“Like I thought. You've always had a sort of weakness in you Miguelito.” He laughed as he turned his back.

 

I grabbed his shoulder and turned his body to face me before I punched him across the face. He stumbled back and fell to the ground.

 

“Get out of my damn house.” I said as I looked down on him before walking away.

 

He got up, laughed and jumped on my back. Does he think this is a game? I tossed him off and threw a few more punches. He tried to punch me, but missed. I tried to punch him, and missed too. I lost my way and he put me in a head lock. I elbowed him in his stomach so he could release his grip. I tackled him but he grabbed me at the same time causing us both to  fall onto the small coffee table and break it.

 

We didn't move after that. We both laid there in the debris of wood, plastic and glass as our heavy breathing mixed with the feeling of our own pains.

 

“You broke my vase.” I said holding my arm over my face to cover my eyes, exhausted.

 

Enrique started to laugh.

 

“The hell are you laughing at?” I asked out of breath.

 

“You.” He groaned as he sat up and continued to laugh. “You have father's temper....and his strength too.” he said massaging his neck. “The hell did that come from you soft son of a bitch?” He asked while laughing.

 

I looked

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