Pirates - Colin Campbell Clements (ebook reader for pc and android TXT) 📗

not know about Betty and Doctor Hunter? Oh, dear!

Mrs. Warren. But Betty did nothing so very, very improper.

Mrs. Lawer. Improper! Well, of course, we shall not blame poor Betty, she is still very young, but we do blame that wicked Doctor Hunter. Why, he is a married man, my dear ... and oldish. He should have known better.

Mrs. Warren. But Betty only walked with him.

Mrs. Lawer. Only walked with him? I was told that he sends flowers to Betty ... and flowers have secret meanings. To say the least, they are sentimental. And Mrs. Lawty told Mrs. Romney that she heard Betty say with her own lips that Doctor Hunter was a conversationalist. I believe that means a person with very free ideas about personal matters ... love, and that sort of thing.

Mrs. Warren. No, indeed ... it simply means that he is a very interesting talker.

Mrs. Lawer. That's just it, Mrs. Warren. What does he find so much to talk about? I have never met him, but from things I have heard I believe he must be a dreadful person. Most unwholesome, so to speak, to the society—the very refined society of Northampton, where for the last forty years we have all lived in such perfect peace and understanding.

Mrs. Warren. Oh, that this should have come upon me!

Mrs. Lawer. Your misfortune is our misfortune, Mrs. Warren. We shall do everything we can to keep this dreadful scandal——

Mrs. Warren. Scandal! Has it—has it gone as far as that?

Mrs. Lawer. Let us say, indiscretion. As I was saying, we shall keep it locked in our hearts, no word of it will ever reach foreign ears. Of course I really know very little of the whole affair, but I felt that my first duty was to come to you.

(Clara enters.)

Mrs. Warren. Yes, Clara?

Clara. I can't find her, ma'am.

Mrs. Warren. Oh, do find her, Clara. I must ... I must see her at once. (The knocker sounds.) Who can that be? Clara ... Clara, see who is at the door.

(Clara goes out.)

Mrs. Lawer. Oh, Mrs. Warren, trust me in everything ... are you sure Betty has always been what she seemed ... I mean——

Mrs. Warren. Mrs. Lawer, do you mean to say that Betty ... Betty Warren ... my daughter——

Mrs. Lawer. My dear, we must face the truth ... we must prepare ourselves for the worst ... we must——

(Clara enters.)

Clara. It's them "Helpin' Hand" ladies, if you please, ma'am. The lot of 'em.

Mrs. Warren. Bring them in, Clara ... have them come right in. Oh! Oh!

Mrs. Lawer. You must be calm, my dear ... perfectly calm.

(Mrs. Lawty, Mrs. Pickering, and Mrs. Romney enter from the hall.)

Mrs. Warren. Oh, my dear ladies. Do ... do be seated.

(They all sit down quietly. There is a long pause. Mrs. Pickering moves restlessly.)

Mrs. Pickering. Mrs. Warren, we have adjourned our meeting of the "Helping Hand" until next week in order to come to you ... the poor, dear natives of the South Sea Islands will have to wait another week for their napkins and tablecloths.

Mrs. Romney. A very short time ... considering they have not had such necessary luxuries for several centuries.

Mrs. Lawty. Still, it was with some feeling of ... of regret that we left our work of altruism unfinished, until next week.

Mrs. Pickering. But we feel that our first duty is at home. Yes, we all felt that our duty was toward you, Mrs. Warren, at present.

Mrs. Warren. Ladies, I am overcome with your kindness.

Mrs. Pickering. We shall now consider ... consider ways and means of—of helping you, Mrs. Warren, out of this unspeakable—or, let us say, embarrassing situation.

Mrs. Lawty. Let us rather call it ... unfortunate situation.

Mrs. Romney. No matter what we call it ... let us get on——

Mrs. Pickering. The facts are these: Mrs. Lawty tells us she heard Betty, with her own ears, openly say that the man under consideration, Doctor Hunter, was a revolutionist and——

Mrs. Lawty. I said conversationalist. Though he probably is both.

Mrs. Romney. I think she must have meant conventionalist.

Mrs. Pickering. Nevertheless, one is as bad as the other. They all go hand in hand.

Mrs. Warren. But I believe Betty only said he was a good conversationalist and——

Mrs. Lawty. Anyway, she said he talked a lot about it.

Mrs. Pickering. I fear it must be one of those dreadful, sinful new religions one hears so much of nowadays.

Mrs. Warren. Oh!

Mrs. Lawty. Also, we understand from very reliable sources that Mrs. Hunter is never seen with her husband in public.

Mrs. Pickering. And that he calls her dreadful names.

Mrs. Lawty. Most suspicious!

Mrs. Romney. Oh, I don't believe a word of it.

Mrs. Lawty. Believe it or not, Mrs. Romney ... my information is most reliable.

Mrs. Warren. Is there any way, ladies, of overcoming this situation, I mean——

Mrs. Romney. You might call on Mrs. Hunter to-morrow, Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Lawty. Never!

Mrs. Lawer. You might write her a very formal letter, very formal, my dear, asking her to call.

Mrs. Pickering. Ask Mrs. Hunter to come here? I think she would never set her foot in the house.

Mrs. Lawer. At any rate, we must do something at once before——

Mrs. Lawty. Before they elope.

Ladies. (They all begin to talk at once) Before it is too late. Oh! Ah! But do you really think—I never thought of that. Poor Mrs. Warren! Do you suppose that Mrs. Hunter—— Oh! Etc.

Mrs. Warren. Ladies! Ladies! Do you really think Betty would——

Mrs. Lawty. One never knows what to think!

Mrs. Warren. Clara! Clara!

(Clara enters from the hall. She holds a letter in her hand.)

Clara. Yes, ma'am.

Mrs. Warren. Did you find Betty?

Clara. I went to her room again, ma'am, but she did not seem to be in and she is nowhere in the garden.

Mrs. Pickering. Not in her room! Not in the garden!

Mrs. Warren. You mean, Clara, she is nowhere to be found? Clara, was her room disturbed ... I mean, did it look as if ... as if ... as if she might have left hurriedly?

Clara. Why, I didn't go in, ma'am. The door was locked.

Mrs. Warren. Locked?

Ladies. (Looking at each other knowingly) Locked!

Clara. Here is a note, ma'am. It was just left by Doctor Hunter's boy, ma'am.

Mrs. Pickering. A letter!

Mrs. Romney. From Doctor Hunter!

Mrs. Lawty. Perhaps they have eloped!

(The ladies jump to their feet.)

Mrs. Lawer. And her room locked ... she must have gone through the window!

Ladies. Gone!

Mrs. Warren. (Who has been too busy looking for her spectacles to notice what has been going on about her) Why, it is a letter for—— (She looks up.) Ladies, what is the matter? What has happened? Why are you all so excited?

Mrs. Lawty. Don't you understand? It is a letter from Doctor Hunter saying they have eloped!

Mrs. Warren. (Sinking deep into her chair) Oh!

(Betty appears in the door at left.)

Betty. Ladies.

Mrs. Warren. (Waving the letter weakly) Betty! Betty! Betty!

Betty. Mother!

Mrs. Warren. (Looking up) Betty ... Betty, is that you?

Ladies. Oh!

Betty. Why are you all so—excited? Mother, what is it?

Ladies. Oh! (They all sit down again.)

Mrs. Warren. Then you—then you—— Oh, where have you been?

Betty. Why, just taking a little nap, Mother. Really, I didn't know the ladies were here or I should have come right down.

Mrs. Warren. Then you haven't ... you haven't eloped?

Betty. Why, Mother dear, what do you mean?

Mrs. Warren. These ladies said—said——

(The ladies all begin to talk at once.)

Mrs. Lawty. You see, Betty dear, Mrs. Pickering told Mrs. Romney, who told me that——

Mrs. Romney. I didn't! Nothing of the sort, Betty! It was you yourself, Mrs. Lawty, who told Mrs. Pickering, who told——

Mrs. Pickering. Me? I had nothing at all to do with it ... nothing at all. I only know that Mrs. Lawer said——

Mrs. Lawer. I said? I said nothing. It was Mrs. Lawty, who told Mrs. Pickering, who told Mrs. Romney—oh, dear me, I mean——

Mrs. Romney. It's a damn lie!

Ladies. (They all gasp for breath; all begin to talk at once) I heard that Doctor Hunter—You told me that he treated his wife shamefully—No, I said—Flowers, he sent her flowers every morning—You told Mrs. Pickering that he was a conversationalist—She said a revolutionist—I said—You said—And then she said—Anyway, I do not believe he is a safe person. But very good looking, my dear. Etc.

Betty. Oh, dear ... what is it all about?

Mrs. Romney. You, my dear, you.

Betty. Me?

Mrs. Romney. These ladies said that you——

Mrs. Lawty. These ladies!

Ladies. (They all begin to talk at once again) Why, it was she herself who said—I had nothing to do with it at all—All I know about the whole affair is that—The impertinence of her saying—I didn't say a word about—— Etc.

Mrs. Warren. It was all of them ... every one of them. They said you had—oh, dear, I just can't say it! They came here to tell me you had eloped with ... with a married man ... with Doctor Hunter!

Betty. Ladies! Mother! How dare you! (She runs to her mother.) How dare you say such a thing! (To her mother) My poor, dear Mother!

Mrs. Warren. And it is so untrue. Oh! Clara ... Clara! My smelling-salts ... my smelling-salts! I'm going to faint ... I'm going to faint ... I'm going to faint!

Mrs. Romney. (Running to Mrs. Warren) Here, use mine, my dear, use mine.

Mrs. Lawty. But the letter, Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Warren. (She has been fanning herself furiously with the letter. She suddenly holds it up as if it might be a bomb ready to go off in her hand.) The letter! Oh! Take it ... take it ... take it away!

Betty. (Taking the letter) Why, it is a note from——

Ladies. (On the very edges of their chairs) Yes?

Betty. From Mrs. Hunter.

Ladies. Oh. (They watch Betty curiously as she reads the note.)

Betty. Mother, Mrs. Hunter asks if I might go for a carriage drive with her this afternoon to gather wild flowers. She is going to stop for me. She says the doctor told her how very fond I am of flowers.

Mrs. Warren. (With a great sigh of relief) Oh!

Betty. May I go?

Mrs. Warren. Why, yes, dear, if you think——

Mrs. Romney. I fear these ladies were quite mistaken about——

Mrs. Lawty. These ladies, indeed! Do you not include yourself,—that is to say, are you not one of us?

Mrs. Romney. God forbid!

Ladies. Oh!

(The knocker sounds.)

Mrs. Warren. Clara ... Clara!

(Clara enters from the Left.)

Clara. Did you call me, ma'am?

Mrs. Warren. Clara, there is someone at the door.

Clara. Very well, ma'am. (She goes out.)

Mrs. Pickering. I am sure Mrs. Warren will forgive our very grave mistake. But it was for her sake that——

Betty. How could you ever dream of worrying my dear mother by such scandalous gossip? It is shameful!

Mrs. Warren. Betty ... Betty!

Mrs. Lawty. You, my dear, are still too young to understand.

(Clara enters.)

Mrs. Lawer. I fear we were overquick in our judgment.

Mrs. Warren. Yes, Clara?

Clara. It is Mrs. Hunter, ma'am.

Mrs. Warren. Mrs. Hunter? Do have her come right in, Clara.

Clara. Yes, ma'am. Shall I bring more tea, ma'am?

Mrs.