For a Girl - J.T. D'Arelli (audio ebook reader txt) 📗

but not too cold. We got into a splashing water fight, laughing and shrieking together.

It was very nice. Afterwards, we wrapped ourselves up in the picnic blanket and just stared at the clouds. There was something very familiar about this moment — almost dÈj‡ vu. It took me a while to remember — then I put it together.

Years ago, I'd been flipping through the pages of one of my Mom's magazines. I'd come across an advertisement for underwear. There had been a picture of a mother and daughter, each dressed only in very pretty panties, long hair artfully arranged to cover their chests. They were kneeling together in a forest, admiring a butterfly.

There'd been something about that advertisement that fascinated me as a young boy. At first, it was the titillating image of two lovely females wearing nothing but cute underpants. But I came to realize my interest was more than that. There was a sense, a mood about that idyllic scene — as if the woman and the girl were sharing something special with each other and with their surroundings. Something that I, as a boy, could never understand. I remember feeling almost jealous of them, of whatever... magic they had and I didn't.

But now... I finally Got It.

Sitting here with my mother, each of us likewise only in panties, the sunlight dappling across our bare skin through the trees, the brook gently babbling beside us, the birds singing sweetly — I realized I was no longer merely an observer of that magic... I'd become a participant.

At that moment I felt an incredible sense of communion, with the trees, the birds, the sky, the sun — with nature herself. I felt a part of nature's creation — all life shouting its gladness around me. And best of all, I realized that I too could create — that in my body I could bring forth a new life into the world, just as my mother had done for me.

I felt my spirit soar — a celebration of the femininity of nature — and of my own unexpected but glorious new femininity along with it. I'd become a part of the affirming cycle of the cosmos. I could actually sense the presence of Gaia — if not corporeal, then at least in my heart.

And I gazed at my Mom, my sweet mother, who'd given so much of herself for me, I felt a connection with her that transcended any emotion we'd had before. Our shared sex had become like a sacred bond — our mutual womanhood bound us together in the magic of the dance of life.

I started to cry. I wrapped my arms around her and wept with joy. For the love I felt for her, the love she had for me. For the sheer delight of being a girl, and of sharing in the mysteries of creation. For the wonder that I too, like my mother, could bear a child. For the happiness that I was finally at peace with my transformation — that I wouldn't ever, EVER give up this feeling!

We stayed in that embrace for what seemed like hours. We both were laughing, crying and smiling together. There were no words, and no need for them. It was almost as if we could sense each other's very souls.

Finally, with expressions of delight, we packed up and returned home.

I was in a dream-like state for the rest of the day. What had happened back at the glade had been an epiphany of sorts — a realization of the profound implications of my girlhood. And even more, how that connected me to all the women who'd come before me.

I could have a baby.

No, I didn't want to run off and buy a bunch of maternity clothes. It was the potential... the possibility... of becoming a mother that amazed me. Girls grow up from infancy knowing this and accepting it as a matter of fact. But for me, who'd spent his youth as a boy, the novelty of the concept was profound.

And I liked it.

It was at this point that I realized I didn't really want to go back to being male. If a cure for GB were found, I'd almost certainly turn it down. Much like Erin at Girl School, I still missed some parts of my previous life, but I'd come to enjoy this gift of girlishness in a way I never could have imagined before.

But all good things must come to an end. The next few days at school were fun — as I expected, my status as a minor celebrity wound down quickly and a state of normalcy returned. Schwarzenegger's candidacy for governor drove my story off the CNN headlines — which was perfectly fine for me. I went to class, wrote my papers, hung around with my circle, and worked out at the track. The team was preparing for the district and sectional championships, although each ladder weeded out a few more members. Still, we were probably going to send at least a half-dozen athletes to the state meet. I wouldn't be able to compete, of course - as a result of Oxton's scheming — but the end of the season still beckoned me: the Nationals. Thanks to my court ruling, I was still eligible for that one, so I continued to train hard.

It was after one of my practices that it happened.

The Good, the Bad, and the Really Ugly!

I'd finished changing back into my street clothes and said goodnight to Becky. I was walking down the deserted corridor when I noticed a utility room door that was open a few inches. Curious, I walked a little closer, when suddenly rough hands seized me and pushed me into the room. A firm punch to the base of my skull made me see stars. The door was slammed shut behind me and my hands were swiftly bound and tied around a pipe, forcing me into a seated position. It all happened so fast I didn't even have time to scream. Heart pounding, I raised confused eyes to see what was happening.

I really shouldn't have been surprised to see Andy Marks.

As usual, he was accompanied by his gruesome twosome. Today, let's call them Uday and Qusay. They stood behind him while he stared down at me with a malevolent smile.

"Well, well. Little Miss Lind. I told you this day was coming. Now it's finally time for us get to know each other better."

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Marks?"

"That should be obvious, girl. Someone needs to put you in your place, and I'm just the guy to do it."

"You've lost it, Marks. Untie me before you get into more trouble." I was trying to be brave, but my pulse was racing. I struggled not to look afraid.

"Back when you were Jack, I knew you didn't have what it takes to be a real man. And now that you're Stephanie, you've proven it. I've watched you — flouncing around in those cute little outfits of yours, finally acting like the pussy you always were on the inside. You dressed like that for me... because you want this," he said, gesturing towards his crotch.

"Fuck off, Marks." But my bravado was on a razor's edge. I knew what could happen in this room, and I was growing terrified.

"Very appropriate way to put it, Stephanie. There will be some fucking, but I won't be alone. Let's just run down the story here. I know you dress like a girl. I know you've got a boyfriend. And I know you've had your period. There's really only one thing left for you to experience to complete your journey. And here is where it's going to happen, little bitch."

He stepped forward and with one swift motion, ripped open my blouse. I was wearing my classic schoolgirl outfit, with the pleated skirt and all the rest. The sudden violation of my space shocked me into silence. My bra was exposed, my chest heaving as I struggled against my bonds.

"Not bad, Stephanie. But let's see what you've been hiding all this time." And with that, he reached for the front clasp and literally tore my bra off. And for the first time, a boy (three of them!) saw my breasts. I flushed red with shame, having long ago developed the feminine modesty compelling me to conceal my torso.

There were expressions of sheer lust on their faces as they drooled over my body. I'd been proud of my breasts in the girl's locker room — but now I was reeling from the embarrassment of having them on my chest. I suddenly found myself yearning for the masculinity forever lost to me.

After a few moments, I began to gather my wits and was about to plead for my release, when suddenly Marks pulled a knife out and waved it near my face. "If you speak, girl, it will be the last thing you ever say." I froze in place.

At that, Uday and Qusay seemed uneasy. One spoke. "Uh, listen man, I thought we were just going to scare her a little."

"Shut the fuck up. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you. This little cunt is going to get what she deserves."

He turned back to me, slowly taking in my bare breasts with a dark smile on his face. "Nice, nice rack, girlie. But let's see what else you've got." I could barely swallow as his hands went to the hem of my skirt, slowly, ever so slowly, raising it up my smooth thighs.

Unlike when he ripped my blouse open, he drew this motion out, demonstrating the control, the power he had. I was acutely aware of the knife — it wasn't very big — but it was all too intimidating.

I didn't dare resist as he lifted my skirts still higher — inch by inch. My legs were nearly completely bare now as he torturously exposed my body. And then he raised the skirt all the way to my hips, revealing my panties. I was wearing a pastel blue nylon pair today, with cute little butterflies. His leer grew still greater as all three boys in the room drank in the sight of my female sex, well defined and barely concealed by my pretty underpants.

I suddenly felt a sense of rage unlike any before. They had no right, no RIGHT to see me like this! My body was for me and whomever I chose to share it with. And no one else. My panties were for my enjoyment, not for some hypersexed asshole like Andy Marks.

The combination of expressions on his hated face grew more intense. Desire, lust, and... That mysterious something I'd spotted before was back. What the hell was it — what did he really want from me?

Later for that. My anger swelled as I found common ground with every woman and girl who'd ever been assaulted by a man. That combination of complete helplessness and utter violation produced an emotional volcano within me. I swear if I'd had a gun at that moment, I could have shot all three of them.

Gritting my teeth, I raised my voice as he reached to yank off my panties. "Don't touch me, you motherfucker."

He raised the knife. "I told