A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY - Edward Payson Roe (best color ebook reader TXT) 📗

And False Conclusions From My Words; I Do Not

Say That Your Action Was Right. In the Abstract It Was Decidedly Wrong,

And For Your Language There Is No Other Excuse Save That An Old, Bad

Habit Asserted itself At A Time When You Had Lost Self-Control. I Am

Dealing Leniently With You, Egbert, Because It Is A Trick Of The

Adversary To Tempt To Despair As Well As To Over-Confidence. At The Same

Time I Speak Sincerely. You Are And Have Been For Some Time In a Morbid

State Of Mind. Let My Simple Common-Sense Come To Your Aid In this

Emergency. The Very Conditions Under Which You Have Been Working at The

Mill Imposed a Continuous Strain Upon Your Nervous Power. You Were

Steadily Approaching a Point Where Mere Human Endurance Would Give Way.

Mark, I Do Not Say That You Might Not Have Been Helped to Endure Longer,

And To Endure Everything; But Mere Human Nature Could Not Have Endured

It Much Longer. It Is Often Wiser To Shun Certain Temptations, If We

Can, Than To Meet Them. You Could Not Do This; And If, Taking Into

Account All The Circumstances, You Could Have Tamely Submitted to This

Insult, Which Was The Culmination Of Long-Continued and Exasperating

Injury, I Should Have Doubted whether You Possessed the Material To Make

A Strong, Forceful Man. Of Course, If You Often Give Way To Passion In

This Manner, You Would Be Little Better Than A Wild Beast; But For Weeks

You Had Exercised very Great Forbearance And Self-Control--For One Of

Your Temperament, Remarkable Self-Control--And I Respect You For It. We

Are As Truly Bound To Be Just To Ourselves As To Others. Your Action Was

Certainly Wrong, And I Would Be Deeply Grieved and Disappointed if You

Continued to Give Way To Such Ebullitions Of Passion; But Remembering

Your Youth, And All That Has Happened since Spring, And Observing

Plainly That You Are In an Unhealthful Condition Of Mind And Body, I

Think Your Course Was Very Natural Indeed, And That You Have No Occasion

For Such Despondency."

 

 

 

"Yes," Put In mr. Growther; "And He Went Away Without His Breakfast, And

It Was Mighty Little He Took For Lunch; All Men Are Savages When They

Haven'T Eaten Anything."

 

 

 

"Pardon Me, Mrs. Arnot," Said Haldane Gloomily, "All This Does Not Meet

The Case At All. I Had Been Hoping That I Was A Christian; What Is More,

It Seems To Me That I Had Had The Feelings And Experiences Of A

Christian."

 

 

 

"I Have Nothing To Say Against That," Said The Lady Quietly; "I Am Very

Glad That You Had."

 

 

 

"After What Has Occurred what Right Have I To Think Myself A Christian?"

 

 

 

"As Good A Right As Multitudes Of Others."

 

 

 

"Now, Mrs. Arnot, That Seems To Me To Be Contrary To Reason."

 

 

 

"It Is Not Contrary To Fact. Good People In the Bible, Good People In

History, And To My Personal Knowledge, Too, Have Been Left To Do

Outrageously Wrong Things. To Err Is Human; And We Are All Very Human,

Egbert."

 

 

 

"But I Don'T Feel That I Am A Christian Any Longer," He Said Sadly.

 

 

 

"Perhaps You Are Not, And Never Were. But This Is A Question That You

Can Never Settle By Consulting Your Own Feelings."

 

 

 

"Then How Can I Settle It?" Was The Eager Response.

 

 

 

"By Settling Fully And Finally In your Mind What Relation You Will

Sustain To Jesus Christ. He Offers To Be Your Complete Saviour From Sin.

Will You Accept Of Him As Such? He Offers To Be Your Divine And Unerring

Guide And Example In your Everyday Life. Will You Accept Of Him As Such?

Doing These Two Things In simple Honesty And To The Best Of Our Ability

Is The Only Way To Be A Christian That I Know Of."

 

 

 

"Is That All?" Muttered mr. Growther, Rising For A Moment From His Chair

In His Deep Interest In her Words. She Gave Him An Encouraging Smile,

And Then Turned to Haldane Again.

 

 

 

"Mrs. Arnot," He Said, "I Know That You Are Far Wiser In these Matters

Than I, And Yet I Am Bewildered. The Bible Says We Must Be Converted;

That We Must Be Born Again. It Seems To Require Some Great, Mysterious

Change That Shall Renew Our Whole Nature. And It Seemed to Me That I

Experienced that Change. It Would Be Impossible For Me To Describe To

You My Emotions. They Were Sincere And Profound. They Stirred the Very

Depths Of My Soul, And Under Their Influence It Was A Joy To Worship God

And To Do His Will. Had I Not A Right To Believe That The Hour In which

I First Felt Those Glad Thrills Of Faith And Love Was The Hour Of My

Conversion?"

 

 

 

"You Had A Right To Hope It."

 

 

 

"But Now, To-Day, When Every Bad Passion Has Been Uppermost In my Heart,

What Reason Have I To Hope?"

 

 

 

"None At All, Looking To Yourself And To Your Varying Emotions."

 

 

 

"Mrs. Arnot, I Am Bewildered. I Am All At Sea. The Bible, As Interpreted

By Dr. Barstow And Dr. Marks, Seems To Require So Much; And What You Say

Is Required is Simplicity Itself."

 

 

 

"If You Will Listen Patiently, Egbert, I Will Give You My Views, And I

Think They Are Correct, For I Endeavor To Take Them Wholly From The

Bible. That Which God Requires Is Simplicity Itself, And Yet It Is Very

Much; It Is Infinite. In the First Place, One Must Give Up

Self-Righteousness--Not Self-Respect, Mark You--But Mere Spiritual

Self-Conceit, Which Is Akin To The Feeling Of Some Vulgar People Who

Think They Are Good Enough To Associate With Those Who Are Immeasurably

Beyond Them, But Whose Superiority They Are Too Small To Comprehend. We

Must Come To God In the Spirit Of A Little Child; And Then, As If We

Were Children, He Will Give To Us A Natural And Healthful Growth In the

Life That Resembles His Own. This Is The Simplest Thing That Can Be

Done, And All Can Do It; But How Many Are Trying To Work Out Their

Salvation By Some Intricate Method Of Human Device, And, Stranger Still,

Are Very Complacent Over The Mechanical And Abnormal Results! All Such

Futile Efforts, Of Which Many Are So Vain, Must Be Cast Aside. Listen To

Christ'S Own Words: 'Learn Of Me, For I Am Meek And Lowly In heart.' He

Who Would Enter Upon The Christian Life, Must Come To Christ As The True

Scientist Sits At The Feet Of Nature--Docile, Teachable, Eager To Learn

Truth That Existed long Before He Was Born, And Not Disposed to Thrust

Forward Some Miserable Little System Of His Own. Nothing Could Be

Simpler, Easier, Or More Pleasing To Christ Himself Than The Action Of

Mary As She Sat At His Feet And Listened to Him; But Many Are Like

Martha, And Are Bustling about In his Service In ways Pleasing To

Themselves; And It Is Very Hard For Them To Give Up Their Own Way. I'Ve

Had To Give Up A Great Deal In my Time, And Perhaps You Will.

 

 

 

"In Addition To All Trust In ourselves, In what We Are And What We Have

Done, We Must Turn Away From What We Have Felt; And Here I Think I Touch

Your Present Difficulties. We Are Not Saved by The Emotions Of Our Own

Hearts, However Sacred and Delightful They May Seem. Nor Do They Always

Indicate Just What We Are And Shall Be. A Few Weeks Since You Thought

Your Heart Had Become The Abiding-Place Of All That Was Good; Now, It

Seems To You To Be Possessed by Evil. This Is Common Experience; At One

Time The Psalmist Sings In rapturous Devotion; Again, He Is Wailing In

Penitence Over One Of The Blackest Crimes In history. Peter Is On The

Mount Of Transfiguration; Again He Is Denying His Master With Oaths And

Curses. Even Good Men Vary As Widely As This; But Christ Is 'The Same,

Yesterday, To-Day, And Forever.' By Good Men I Mean Simply Those Who Are

Sincerely Wishing and Trying To Obtain Mastery Over The Evil Of Their

Natures. If You Still Wish To Do This, I Have Abundant Hope For You--As

Much Hope As Ever I Had."

 

 

 

"Of What Value, Then, Were All Those Strange, Happy Feelings Which I

Regarded as The Proofs Of My Conversion?" Haldane Asked, With The Look

Of Deep Perplexity Still Upon His Face.

 

 

 

"Of Very Great Value, If You Look Upon Them In their True Light. They

Were Evidences Of God'S Love And Favor. They Showed how Kindly Disposed

He Is Toward You. They Can Prove To You How Abundantly Able He Is To

Reward All Trust And Service, Giving Foretastes Of Heavenly Bliss Even

In The Midst Of Earthly Warfare. The Trouble Has Been With You, As With

So Many Others, That You Have Been Consulting Your Variable Emotions

Instead Of Looking Simply To Christ, The Author And Finisher Of Our

Faith. Besides, The Power Is Not Given To Us To Maintain An Equable Flow

Of Feeling For Any Considerable Length Of Time. We React From Exaltation

Into Depression Inevitably. Our Feelings Depend Largely Also Upon

Earthly Causes And Our Physical Condition, And We Can Never Be

Absolutely Sure How Far They Are The Result Of The Direct Action Of

God'S Spirit Upon Our Minds. It Is God'S Plan To Work Through Simple,

Natural Means, So That We May Not Be Looking and Waiting For The

Supernatural. And Yet It Would Seem That Many Are So Irrational That,

When They Find Mere Feeling Passing away, They Give Up Their Hope And

All Relationship To Christ, Acting as If The Immutable Love Of God Were

Changing With Their Flickering Emotions."

 

 

 

"I Have Been Just So Irrational," Said Haldane In a Low, Deep Tone.

 

 

 

"Then Settle It Now And Forever, My Dear Young Friend, That Jesus

Christ, Who Died to Save You, Wishes To Save You Every Day And All The

Days Of Your Life. He Does Not Change A Hair-Breadth From The Attitude

Indicated in the Words, 'Come Unto Me; And Whosoever Cometh Unto Me I

Will In no Wise Cast Out.'"

 

 

 

"Do You Mean To Say He Feels That Way Toward Me All The Time, In spite

Of All My Cantankerous Moods?" Asked mr. Growther Eagerly.

 

 

 

"Most Certainly."

 

 

 

"I Wouldn'T A' Thought It If I'D Lived a Thousand Years."

 

 

 

"What, Then, Is Conversion?" Asked haldane, Feeling as If He Were Being

Led safely Out Of A Labyrinth In which He Had Lost Himself.

 

 

 

"In My View It Is Simply Turning away From Everything To Christ As The

Sole Ground Of Our Salvation And As Our Divine Guide And Example In

Christian Living."

 

 

 

"But How Can We Ever Know That We Are Christians?"

 

 

 

"Only By The Honest, Patient, Continued effort To Obey His Brief

Command, 'Follow Me.' We May Follow Near, Or We May Follow Afar Off; But

We Can Soon Learn Whether We Wish To Get Nearer To Him, Or To Get Away

From Him, Or To Just Indifferently Let Him Drop Out Of Our Thoughts. The

Christian Is One Who Holds And Maintains Certain Simple Relations To

Christ. 'Ye Are My Friends,' He Said, Not If You Feel Thus And So, But,

'If Ye Do Whatsoever I Command You;' And I Have Found From Many Years'

Experience That 'His Commandments Are Not Grievous.' For Every Burden He

Imposes He Gives Help And Comfort A Hundred times. The More Closely And

Faithfully We Follow Him, The More Surely Do Fear And Doubt Pass Away.

We Learn To Look Up To Him As A Child Looks In its Mother'S Face, And

'His Spirit Beareth Witness With Our Spirit That We Are His.' But The

Vital Point Is, Are We Following Him? Feeling Varies So Widely And

Strangely In varied circumstances And With Different Temperaments That

Many A True Saint Of God Would Be Left In cruel Uncertainty If This Were

The Test. My Creed is A Very Simple One, Egbert; But I Take A World Of

Comfort In it. It Contains Only Three Words--Trust, Follow Christ

--That Is All."

 

 

 

"It Is So Simple And Plain That I Am Tempted to Take It As My Creed

Also," Said Haldane, With A Tinge Of Hope And Enthusiasm In his Manner,

 

 

 

"And Yet Remember," Warned his Friend Earnestly, "There Is Infinite

Requirement In it. A Child Can Make A Rude Sketch Of A Perfect Statue

That Will Bear Some Faint Resemblance To It. If He Persevere He Can

Gradually Learn To Draw The Statue With Increasing accuracy. In taking

This Divine Man As Your Example, You Pledge Yourself To Imitate One Whom

You Can Ever Approach But Never Reach. And Yet There Is No Occasion For

The Weakest To Falter Before This Infinite Requirement, For God Himself

In Spirit Is Present Everywhere To Aid All In regaining The Lost Image

Of Himself. It Is To No Lonely Unguided effort That I Urge You, Egbert,

But To A Patient Co-Working With Your Maker, That You May