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Book online «Alphabet Slave - Kaila Carper (feel good fiction books .TXT) 📗». Author Kaila Carper



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I know I am not. If only you knew everything… but I can not tell you everything. If I told you everything… you would not believe no one believes. How can I trust anyone? Its not possible for me. I might as well state it though. The whole truth including all the tidbits. If you don’t believe that is your problem. I wipe the tears off my cheek.
It started during the summer. I was sick every morning and I could not stand it. So I made an appointment to see the doctor. He said he was going to come with me. He said he did not like it when I was sick it worried him. What a lie he made. He never showed up and I went alone. The doctor asked me questions I could not even begin to tell you. The one question made me think, which when I did not answer he just looked at me. He marked something down in his little book. I felt so sick I should have known. I should have known. The room felt like it was enclosing on me. The doctor said he wanted to run some tests. I already knew what the tests were of course. He asked me if there was a possibility that I might be pregnant. Which… what could I say? It took about a week to find out the results. Which the day I found out I was going to tell him… That was the day I went to the school to find him. He was there with someone else. What could I say? I ran away and cried. My whole body hurt and was in pain. The next thing I knew it was gone. I blamed him for everything. I was hoping that he would help me that he would be happy. I was to much of a fool. I believed every word he told me. After that I stopped believing I stopped living. Everything stopped… it is like I am frozen in place. Still remembering all of that. Yet he has enough tenacity to act like that. It makes me angry… what makes it even more worse is my feelings. I can not tell if I have them or not… its not normal. There was one more thing which makes it worse. I can not… no its not even mentionable.
Be brave, be brave…. Oh help me someone please help. My head nods off and hit’s the ground. I am pathetic. I am hopeless, I am nothing.
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Publication Date: 06-12-2012

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