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to you both. What counterfeit
did I give you?
50
Mercutio. The slip, sir, the slip; can you not
conceive?
Romeo. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was
great; and in such a case as mine a man may strain
courtesy.
Mercutio. That's as much as to say, such a case
as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
Romeo. Meaning, to curtsy.
Mercutio. Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Romeo. A most courteous exposition.
60
Mercutio. Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Romeo. Pink for flower.
Mercutio. Right.
Romeo. Why, then is my pump well flowered.
Mercutio. Well said; follow me this jest now till
thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single
sole of it is worn the jest may remain after the wearing
sole singular.
Romeo. O single-souled jest, solely singular for
the singleness!
70
Mercutio. Come between us, good Benvolio; my
wits fail.
Romeo. Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or
I'll cry a match.
Mercutio. Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase,
I have done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in
one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole
five. Was I with you there for the goose?
Romeo. Thou wast never with me for any thing
when thou was not there for the goose.
80
Mercutio. I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Romeo. Nay, good goose, bite not.
Mercutio. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is
a most sharp sauce.
Romeo. And is it not well served in to a sweet
goose?
Mercutio. O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches
from an inch narrow to an ell broad!
Romeo. I stretch it out for that word 'broad,'
which added to the goose proves thee far and wide 90
a broad goose.
Mercutio. Why, is not this better now than groaning
for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou
Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well
as by nature; for this drivelling love is like a great
natural,—
Benvolio. Stop there, stop there.
Romeo. Here's goodly gear!

Enter Nurse and Peter

Mercutio. A sail, a sail!

Benvolio. Two, two; a shirt and a smock.

100Nurse. Peter!

Peter. Anon!

Nurse. My fan, Peter.

Mercutio. Good Peter, to hide her face; for her
fan's the fairer of the two.

Nurse. God ye good morrow, gentlemen.

Mercutio. God ye good den, fair gentlewoman.

Nurse. Is it good den?

Mercutio. 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the hand of
the dial is now upon the prick of noon.

110Nurse. Out upon you! what a man are you!

Romeo. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made
for himself to mar.

Nurse. By my troth, it is well said; 'for himself
to mar,' quoth a'?—Gentlemen, can any of you tell
me where I may find the young Romeo?

Romeo. I can tell you; but young Romeo will be
older when you have found him than he was when
you sought him. I am the youngest of that name,
for fault of a worse.

120Nurse. You say well.

Mercutio. Yea, is the worst well? very well took,
i' faith; wisely, wisely.

Nurse. If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence
with you.

Benvolio. She will indite him to some supper.

Mercutio. So ho!

Romeo. What hast thou found?

Mercutio. No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a
lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be
130spent.—Romeo, will you come to your father's?
we'll to dinner thither.

Romeo. I will follow you.

Mercutio. Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, [singing]
'lady, lady, lady!'
[Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio.

Nurse. Marry, farewell!—I pray you, sir, what
saucy merchant was this, that was so full of his
ropery?

Romeo. A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear
himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than
140he will stand to in a month.

Nurse. An a' speak any thing against me, I'll take
him down an a' were lustier than he is, and twenty
such Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that
shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I
am none of his skains-mates.—And thou must stand
by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his
pleasure?

Peter. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I
had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I
150warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man,
if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on
my side.

Nurse. Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every
part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!—Pray you,
sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bade
me inquire you out; what she bade me say, I will
keep to myself; but first let me tell ye, if ye should
lead her in a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a
very gross kind of behaviour, as they say; for the
160gentlewoman is young, and, therefore, if you should
deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be
offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.

Romeo. Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress.
I protest unto thee—

Nurse. Good heart, and, i' faith, I will tell her as
much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman!

Romeo. What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost
not mark me.

Nurse. I will tell her, sir, that you do protest,
170which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.

Romeo. Bid her devise some means to come to shrift
This afternoon;
And there she shall at Friar Laurence' cell
Be shriv'd and married. Here is for thy pains.
Nurse. No, truly, sir, not a penny.
Romeo. Go to; I say you shall.
Nurse. This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.
Romeo. And stay, good nurse; behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee, 180
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains.
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
Nurse. Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
Romeo. What say'st thou, my dear nurse?
Nurse. Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?

Romeo. I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.

190Nurse. Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady—Lord,
Lord! when 'twas a little prating thing—O,
there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would
fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as
lieve see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger
her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer
man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks
as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not
rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?

Romeo. Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.

200Nurse. Ah, mocker! that's the dog's name; R is
for the—No, I know it begins with some other
letter—and she hath the prettiest sententious of it,
of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to
hear it.

Romeo. Commend me to thy lady.

Nurse. Ay, a thousand times.—[Exit Romeo] Peter!

Peter. Anon.

Nurse. Before, and apace.
[Exeunt.

Scene V.

Capulet's Orchard

Enter Juliet

Juliet. The clock struck nine when I did send the nurse;
In half an hour she promis'd to return.
Perchance she cannot meet him; that's not so.
O, she is lame! love's heralds should be thoughts,
Which ten times faster glide than the sun's beams
Driving back shadows over lowering hills;
Therefore do nimble-pinion'd doves draw Love,
And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.
Now is the sun upon the highmost hill
10
Of this day's journey, and from nine till twelve
Is three long hours, yet she is not come.
Had she affections and warm youthful blood,
She would be as swift in motion as a ball;
My words would bandy her to my sweet love,
And his to me;
But old folks, many feign as they were dead,
Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.—
Enter Nurse and Peter
O God, she comes!—O honey nurse, what news?
Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.
Nurse. Peter, stay at the gate. [Exit Peter.
21
Juliet. Now, good sweet nurse,—O Lord, why look'st thou sad?
Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily;
If good, thou sham'st the music of sweet news
By playing it to me with so sour a face.
Nurse. I am aweary, give me leave awhile.
Fie, how my bones ache! what a jaunt have I had!
Juliet. I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news.
Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, good nurse, speak.
Nurse. Jesu, what haste? can you not stay awhile? 30
Do you not see that I am out of breath?
Juliet. How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay
Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.
Is thy news good, or bad? answer to that;
Say either, and I'll stay the circumstance.
Let me be satisfied, is 't good or bad?

Nurse. Well, you have made a simple choice; you
know not how to choose a man. Romeo! no, not
40he; though his face be better than any man's, yet his
leg excels all men's; and for a hand, and a foot, and
a body, though they be not to be talked on, yet they
are past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy,
but, I'll warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy
ways, wench; serve God. What, have you dined at
home?

Juliet. No, no; but all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? what of that?
Nurse. Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I! 50
It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.
My back o' t'other side,—O, my back, my back!
Beshrew your heart for sending me about,
To catch my death with jaunting up and down!
Juliet. I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well.
Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?
Nurse. Your love says, like an honest gentleman,
And a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome,
And, I warrant,
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