bookssland.com Ā» Drama Ā» Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky (mini ebook reader .TXT) šŸ“—

Book online Ā«Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky (mini ebook reader .TXT) šŸ“—Ā». Author Fyodor Dostoevsky



1 ... 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 ... 103
Go to page:
and he could see nothing. It was nearly five. He had overslept himself! He got up, put on his still damp jacket and overcoat. Feeling the revolver in his pocket, he took it out and then he sat down, took a notebook out of his pocket and in the most conspicuous 899 of 967

Crime and Punishment

place on the title page wrote a few lines in large letters.

Reading them over, he sank into thought with his elbows on the table. The revolver and the notebook lay beside him. Some flies woke up and settled on the untouched veal, which was still on the table. He stared at them and at last with his free right hand began trying to catch one. He tried till he was tired, but could not catch it. At last, realising that he was engaged in this interesting pursuit, he started, got up and walked resolutely out of the room. A minute later he was in the street.

A thick milky mist hung over the town. SvidrigaĆÆlov walked along the slippery dirty wooden pavement towards the Little Neva. He was picturing the waters of the Little Neva swollen in the night, Petrovsky Island, the wet paths, the wet grass, the wet trees and bushes and at last the bushā€¦. He began ill-humouredly staring at the houses, trying to think of something else. There was not a cabman or a passer-by in the street. The bright yellow, wooden, little houses looked dirty and dejected with their closed shutters. The cold and damp penetrated his whole body and he began to shiver. From time to time he came across shop signs and read each carefully. At last he reached the end of the wooden pavement and came to a big stone house. A dirty, shivering dog crossed his path 900 of 967

Crime and Punishment

with its tail between its legs. A man in a greatcoat lay face downwards; dead drunk, across the pavement. He looked at him and went on. A high tower stood up on the left.

ā€˜Bah!ā€™ he shouted, ā€˜here is a place. Why should it be Petrovsky? It will be in the presence of an official witness anywayā€¦.ā€™

He almost smiled at this new thought and turned into the street where there was the big house with the tower.

At the great closed gates of the house, a little man stood with his shoulder leaning against them, wrapped in a grey soldierā€™s coat, with a copper Achilles helmet on his head.

He cast a drowsy and indifferent glance at SvidrigaĆÆlov.

His face wore that perpetual look of peevish dejection, which is so sourly printed on all faces of Jewish race without exception. They both, SvidrigaĆÆlov and Achilles, stared at each other for a few minutes without speaking.

At last it struck Achilles as irregular for a man not drunk to be standing three steps from him, staring and not saying a word.

ā€˜What do you want here?ā€™ he said, without moving or changing his position.

ā€˜Nothing, brother, good morning,ā€™ answered

SvidrigaĆÆlov.

ā€˜This isnā€™t the place.ā€™

901 of 967

Crime and Punishment

ā€˜I am going to foreign parts, brother.ā€™

ā€˜To foreign parts?ā€™

ā€˜To America.ā€™

ā€˜America.ā€™

SvidrigaĆÆlov took out the revolver and cocked it.

Achilles raised his eyebrows.

ā€˜I say, this is not the place for such jokes!ā€™

ā€˜Why shouldnā€™t it be the place?ā€™

ā€˜Because it isnā€™t.ā€™

ā€˜Well, brother, I donā€™t mind that. Itā€™s a good place.

When you are asked, you just say he was going, he said, to America.ā€™

He put the revolver to his right temple.

ā€˜You canā€™t do it here, itā€™s not the place,ā€™ cried Achilles, rousing himself, his eyes growing bigger and bigger.

SvidrigaĆÆlov pulled the trigger.

902 of 967

eBook brought to you by

Crime and Punishment

Create, view, and edit PDF. Download the free trial version.

Chapter VII

The same day, about seven oā€™clock in the evening, Raskolnikov was on his way to his motherā€™s and sisterā€™s lodgingā€”the lodging in Bakaleyevā€™s house which Razumihin had found for them. The stairs went up from the street. Raskolnikov walked with lagging steps, as though still hesitating whether to go or not. But nothing would have turned him back: his decision was taken.

ā€˜Besides, it doesnā€™t matter, they still know nothing,ā€™ he thought, ā€˜and they are used to thinking of me as eccentric.ā€™

He was appallingly dressed: his clothes torn and dirty, soaked with a nightā€™s rain. His face was almost distorted from fatigue, exposure, the inward conflict that had lasted for twenty-four hours. He had spent all the previous night alone, God knows where. But anyway he had reached a decision.

He knocked at the door which was opened by his mother. Dounia was not at home. Even the servant happened to be out. At first Pulcheria Alexandrovna was speechless with joy and surprise; then she took him by the hand and drew him into the room.

903 of 967

Crime and Punishment

ā€˜Here you are!ā€™ she began, faltering with joy. ā€˜Donā€™t be angry with me, Rodya, for welcoming you so foolishly with tears: I am laughing not crying. Did you think I was crying? No, I am delighted, but Iā€™ve got into such a stupid habit of shedding tears. Iā€™ve been like that ever since your fatherā€™s death. I cry for anything. Sit down, dear boy, you must be tired; I see you are. Ah, how muddy you are.ā€™

ā€˜I was in the rain yesterday, motherā€¦.ā€™ Raskolnikov began.

ā€˜No, no,ā€™ Pulcheria Alexandrovna hurriedly

interrupted, ā€˜you thought I was going to cross-question you in the womanish way I used to; donā€™t be anxious, I understand, I understand it all: now Iā€™ve learned the ways here and truly I see for myself that they are better. Iā€™ve made up my mind once for all: how could I understand your plans and expect you to give an account of them?

God knows what concerns and plans you may have, or what ideas you are hatching; so itā€™s not for me to keep nudging your elbow, asking you what you are thinking about? But, my goodness! why am I running to and fro as though I were crazy ā€¦ ? I am reading your article in the magazine for the third time, Rodya. Dmitri Prokofitch brought it to me. Directly I saw it I cried out to myself:

ā€˜There, foolish one,ā€™ I thought, ā€˜thatā€™s what he is busy 904 of 967

Crime and Punishment

about; thatā€™s the solution of the mystery! Learned people are always like that. He may have some new ideas in his head just now; he is thinking them over and I worry him and upset him.ā€™ I read it, my dear, and of course there was a great deal I did not understand; but thatā€™s only naturalā€”

how should I?ā€™

ā€˜Show me, mother.ā€™

Raskolnikov took the magazine and glanced at his article. Incongruous as it was with his mood and his circumstances, he felt that strange and bitter sweet sensation that every author experiences the first time he sees himself in print; besides, he was only twenty-three. It lasted only a moment. After reading a few lines he frowned and his heart throbbed with anguish. He recalled all the inward conflict of the preceding months. He flung the article on the table with disgust and anger.

ā€˜But, however foolish I may be, Rodya, I can see for myself that you will very soon be one of the leadingā€”if not the leading manā€”in the world of Russian thought.

And they dared to think you were mad! You donā€™t know, but they really thought that. Ah, the despicable creatures, how could they understand genius! And Dounia, Dounia was all but believing itā€”what do you say to that? Your father sent twice to magazinesā€”the first time poems (Iā€™ve 905 of 967

Crime and Punishment

got the manuscript and will show you) and the second time a whole novel (I begged him to let me copy it out) and how we prayed that they should be takenā€”they werenā€™t! I was breaking my heart, Rodya, six or seven days ago over your food and your clothes and the way you are living. But now I see again how foolish I was, for you can attain any position you like by your intellect and talent. No doubt you donā€™t care about that for the present and you are occupied with much more important

mattersā€¦.ā€™

ā€˜Douniaā€™s not at home, mother?ā€™

ā€˜No, Rodya. I often donā€™t see her; she leaves me alone.

Dmitri Prokofitch comes to see me, itā€™s so good of him, and he always talks about you. He loves you and respects you, my dear. I donā€™t say that Dounia is very wanting in consideration. I am not complaining. She has her ways and I have mine; she seems to have got some secrets of late and I never have any secrets from you two. Of course, I am sure that Dounia has far too much sense, and besides she loves you and me ā€¦ but I donā€™t know what it will all lead to. Youā€™ve made me so happy by coming now, Rodya, but she has missed you by going out; when she comes in Iā€™ll tell her: ā€˜Your brother came in while you were out.

Where have you been all this time?ā€™ You mustnā€™t spoil 906 of 967

Crime and Punishment

me, Rodya, you know; come when you can, but if you canā€™t, it doesnā€™t matter, I can wait. I shall know, anyway, that you are fond of me, that will be enough for me. I shall read what you write, I shall hear about you from everyone, and sometimes youā€™ll come yourself to see me.

What could be better? Here youā€™ve come now to comfort your mother, I see that.ā€™

Here Pulcheria Alexandrovna began to cry.

ā€˜Here I am again! Donā€™t mind my foolishness. My goodness, why am I sitting here?ā€™ she cried, jumping up.

ā€˜There is coffee and I donā€™t offer you any. Ah, thatā€™s the selfishness of old age. Iā€™ll get it at once!ā€™

ā€˜Mother, donā€™t trouble, I am going at once. I havenā€™t come for that. Please listen to me.ā€™

Pulcheria Alexandrovna went up to him timidly.

ā€˜Mother, whatever happens, whatever you hear about me, whatever you are told about me, will you always love me as you do now?ā€™ he asked suddenly from the fullness of his heart, as though not thinking of his words and not weighing them.

ā€˜Rodya, Rodya, what is the matter? How can you ask me such a question? Why, who will tell me anything about you? Besides, I shouldnā€™t believe anyone, I should refuse to listen.ā€™

907 of 967

Crime and Punishment

ā€˜Iā€™ve come to assure you that Iā€™ve always loved you and I am glad that we are alone, even glad Dounia is out,ā€™ he went on with the same impulse. ā€˜I have come to tell you that though you will be unhappy, you must believe that your son loves you now more than himself, and that all you thought about me, that I was cruel and didnā€™t care about you, was all a mistake. I shall never cease to love youā€¦. Well, thatā€™s enough: I thought I must do this and begin with thisā€¦.ā€™

Pulcheria Alexandrovna embraced him in silence, pressing him to her bosom and weeping gently.

ā€˜I donā€™t know what is wrong with you, Rodya,ā€™ she said at last. ā€˜Iā€™ve been thinking all this time that we were simply boring you and now I see that there is a great sorrow in store for you, and thatā€™s why you are miserable.

Iā€™ve foreseen it a long time, Rodya. Forgive me for speaking about it. I keep thinking about it and lie awake at nights. Your sister lay talking in her sleep all last night, talking of nothing but you. I caught something, but I couldnā€™t make it out. I felt all the morning as though I were going to be hanged, waiting for something, expecting something, and now it has come! Rodya, Rodya, where are you going? You are going away somewhere?ā€™

908 of 967

Crime and Punishment

ā€˜Yes.ā€™

ā€˜Thatā€™s what I thought! I can come with you, you know, if you need me. And Dounia, too; she loves you, she loves you dearlyā€”and Sofya Semyonovna may come with us if you like. You see, I am glad to look upon her as a daughter even ā€¦ Dmitri Prokofitch will

1 ... 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 ... 103
Go to page:

Free e-book Ā«Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky (mini ebook reader .TXT) šŸ“—Ā» - read online now

Comments (0)

There are no comments yet. You can be the first!
Add a comment