Essays On Education And Kindred Subjects (Fiscle Part- 11) - Herbert Spencer (if you give a mouse a cookie read aloud txt) 📗
- Author: Herbert Spencer
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Been Bad. This Remarkable Change She Ascribed Entirely To The
Comparative Mildness Of The English Discipline.
After The Foregoing Exposition Of Principles, Our Remaining Space May
Best Be Occupied By A Few Of The Chief Maxims And Rules Deducible From
Them; And With A View To Brevity We Will Put These In A Hortatory Form.
Do Not Expect From A Child Any Great Amount Of Moral Goodness. During
Early Years Every Civilised Man Passes Through That Phase Of Character
Exhibited By The Barbarous Race From Which He Is Descended. As The
Child's Features--Flat Nose, Forward-Opening Nostrils, Large Lips,
Wide-Apart Eyes, Absent Frontal Sinus, Etc.--Resemble For A Time Those
Of The Savage, So, Too, Do His Instincts. Hence The Tendencies To
Cruelty, To Thieving, To Lying, So General Among Children--Tendencies
Which, Even Without The Aid Of Discipline, Will Become More Or Less
Modified Just As The Features Do. The Popular Idea That Children Are
"Innocent," While It Is True With Respect To Evil _Knowledge_, Is
Totally False With Respect To Evil _Impulses_; As Half An Hour's
Observation In The Nursery Will Prove To Any One. Boys When Left To
Themselves, As At Public Schools, Treat Each Other More Brutally Than
Men Do; And Were They Left To Themselves At An Earlier Age Their
Brutality Would Be Still More Conspicuous.
Not Only Is It Unwise To Set Up A High Standard Of Good Conduct For
Children, But It Is Even Unwise To Use Very Urgent Incitements To Good
Conduct. Already Most People Recognise The Detrimental Results Of
Intellectual Precocity; But There Remains To Be Recognised The Fact That
_Moral Precocity_ Also Has Detrimental Results. Our Higher Moral
Faculties, Like Our Higher Intellectual Ones, Are Comparatively Complex.
By Consequence, Both Are Comparatively Late In Their Evolution. And With
The One As With The Other, An Early Activity Produced By Stimulation
Will Be At The Expense Of The Future Character. Hence The Not Uncommon
Anomaly That Those Who During Childhood Were Models Of Juvenile
Goodness, By And By Undergo A Seemingly Inexplicable Change For The
Worse, And End By Being Not Above But Below Par; While Relatively
Part 1 Chapter 3 (Moral Education) Pg 47
Exemplary Men Are Often The Issue Of A Childhood By No Means Promising.
Be Content, Therefore, With Moderate Measures And Moderate Results. Bear
In Mind That A Higher Morality, Like A Higher Intelligence, Must Be
Reached By Slow Growth; And You Will Then Have Patience With Those
Imperfections Which Your Child Hourly Displays. You Will Be Less Prone
To That Constant Scolding, And Threatening, And Forbidding, By Which
Many Parents Induce A Chronic Domestic Irritation, In The Foolish Hope
That They Will Thus Make Their Children What They Should Be.
This Liberal Form Of Domestic Government, Which Does Not Seek
Despotically To Regulate All The Details Of A Child's Conduct,
Necessarily Results From The System We Advocate. Satisfy Yourself With
Seeing That Your Child Always Suffers The Natural Consequences Of His
Actions, And You Will Avoid That Excess Of Control In Which So Many
Parents Err. Leave Him Wherever You Can To The Discipline Of Experience,
And You Will Save Him From That Hot-House Virtue Which Over-Regulation
Produces In Yielding Natures, Or That Demoralising Antagonism Which It
Produces In Independent Ones.
By Aiming In All Cases To Insure The Natural Reactions To Your Child's
Actions, You Will Put An Advantageous Check On Your Own Temper. The
Method Of Moral Education Pursued By Many, We Fear By Most, Parents, Is
Little Else Than That Of Venting Their Anger In The Way That First
Suggests Itself. The Slaps, And Rough Shakings And Sharp Words, With
Which A Mother Commonly Visits Her Offspring's Small Offences (Many Of
Them Not Offences Considered Intrinsically), Are Generally But The
Manifestations Of Her Ill-Controlled Feelings--Result Much More From The
Promptings Of Those Feelings Than From A Wish To Benefit The Offenders.
But By Pausing In Each Case Of Transgression To Consider What Is The
Normal Consequence, And How It May Best Be Brought Home To The
Transgressor, Some Little Time Is Obtained For The Mastery Of Yourself;
The Mere Blind Anger First Aroused Settles Down Into A Less Vehement
Feeling, And One Not So Likely To Mislead You.
Do Not, However, Seek To Behave As A Passionless Instrument. Remember
That Besides The Natural Reactions To Your Child's Actions Which The
Working Of Things Tends To Bring Round On Him, Your Own Approbation Or
Disapprobation Is Also A Natural Reaction, And One Of The Ordained
Agencies For Guiding Him. The Error We Have Been Combating Is That Of
_Substituting_ Parental Displeasure And Its Artificial Penalties, For
The Penalties Which Nature Has Established. But While It Should Not Be
_Substituted_ For These Natural Penalties, We By No Means Argue That It
Should Not, In Some Form, _Accompany_ Them. Though The _Secondary_ Kind
Of Punishment Should Not Usurp The Place Of The _Primary_ Kind; It May,
In Moderation, Rightly Supplement The Primary Kind. Such Amount Of
Sorrow Or Indignation As You Feel, Should Be Expressed In Words Or
Manner; Subject, Of Course, To The Approval Of Your Judgment. The Kind
And Degree Of Feeling Produced In You Will Necessarily Depend On Your
Own Character; And It Is Therefore Useless To Say It Should Be This Or
That. Nevertheless, You May Endeavour To Modify The Feeling Into That
Which You Believe Ought To Be Entertained. Beware, However, Of The Two
Extremes; Not Only In Respect Of The Intensity, But In Respect Of The
Duration, Of Your Displeasure. On The One Hand, Avoid That Weak
Impulsiveness, So General Among Mothers, Which Scolds And Forgives
Almost In The Same Breath. On The Other Hand, Do Not Unduly Continue To
Show Estrangement Of Feeling, Lest You Accustom Your Child To Do Without
Your Friendship, And So Lose Your Influence Over Him. The Moral
Reactions Called Forth From You By Your Child's Actions, You Should As
Much As Possible Assimilate To Those Which You Conceive Would Be Called
Forth From A Parent Of Perfect Nature.
Be Sparing Of Commands. Command Only When Other Means Are Inapplicable,
Or Have Failed. "In Frequent Orders The Parents' Advantage Is More
Considered Than The Child's," Says Richter. As In Primitive Societies A
Breach Of Law Is Punished, Not So Much Because It Is Intrinsically Wrong
As Because It Is A Disregard Of The King's Authority--A Rebellion
Against Him; So In Many Families, The Penalty Visited On A Transgressor
Is Prompted Less By Reprobation Of The Offence Than By Anger At The
Disobedience. Listen To The Ordinary Speeches--"How _Dare_ You Disobey
Me?" "I Tell You I'll _Make_ You Do It, Sir." "I'll Soon Teach You Who
Is _Master_"--And Then Consider What The Words, The Tone, And The Manner
Imply. A Determination To Subjugate Is Far More Conspicuous In Them,
Than Anxiety For The Child's Welfare. For The Time Being The Attitude Of
Mind Differs But Little From That Of A Despot Bent On Punishing A
Recalcitrant Subject. The Right-Feeling Parent, However, Like The
Philanthropic Legislator, Will Rejoice Not In Coercion, But In
Dispensing With Coercion. He Will Do Without Law Wherever Other Modes Of
Regulating Conduct Can Be Successfully Employed; And He Will Regret The
Having Recourse To Law When Law Is Necessary. As Richter Remarks--"The
Best Rule In Politics Is Said To Be '_Pas Trop Gouverner_:' It Is Also
True In Education." And In Spontaneous Conformity With This Maxim,
Parents Whose Lust Of Dominion Is Restrained By A True Sense Of Duty,
Will Aim To Make Their Children Control Themselves As Much As Possible,
And Will Fall Back Upon Absolutism Only As A Last Resort.
But Whenever You _Do_ Command, Command With Decision And Consistency. If
The Case Is One Which Really Cannot Be Otherwise Dealt With, Then Issue
Your Fiat, And Having Issued It, Never Afterwards Swerve From It.
Consider Well What You Are Going To Do; Weigh All The Consequences;
Think Whether You Have Adequate Firmness Of Purpose; And Then, If You
Finally Make The Law, Enforce Obedience At Whatever Cost. Let Your
Penalties Be Like The Penalties Inflicted By Inanimate
Nature--Inevitable. The Hot Cinder Burns A Child The First Time He
Seizes It; It Burns Him The Second Time; It Burns Him The Third Time; It
Burns Him Every Time; And He Very Soon Learns Not To Touch The Hot
Cinder. If You Are Equally Consistent--If The Consequences Which You
Tell Your Child Will Follow Specified Acts, Follow With Like Uniformity,
He Will Soon Come To Respect Your Laws As He Does Those Of Nature. And
This Respect Once Established, Will Prevent Endless Domestic Evils. Of
Errors In Education One Of The Worst Is Inconsistency. As In A
Community, Crimes Multiply When There Is No Certain Administration Of
Justice; So In A Family, An Immense Increase Of Transgressions Results
From A Hesitating Or Irregular Infliction Of Punishments. A Weak Mother,
Who Perpetually Threatens And Rarely Performs--Who Makes Rules In Haste
And Repents Of Them At Leisure--Who Treats The Same Offence Now With
Severity And Now With Leniency, As The Passing Humour Dictates, Is
Laying Up Miseries For Herself And Her Children. She Is Making Herself
Contemptible In Their Eyes; She Is Setting Them An Example Of
Uncontrolled Feelings; She Is Encouraging Them To Transgress By The
Prospect Of Probable Impunity: She Is Entailing Endless Squabbles And
Part 1 Chapter 3 (Moral Education) Pg 48Accompanying Damage To Her Own Temper And The Tempers Of Her Little
Ones; She Is Reducing Their Minds To A Moral Chaos, Which After Years Of
Bitter Experience Will With Difficulty Bring Into Order. Better Even A
Barbarous Form Of Domestic Government Carried Out Consistently, Than A
Humane One Inconsistently Carried Out. Again We Say, Avoid Coercive
Measures Whenever It Is Possible To Do So; But When You Find Despotism
Really Necessary, Be Despotic In Good Earnest.
Remember That The Aim Of Your Discipline Should Be To Produce A
_Self-Governing_ Being; Not To Produce A Being To Be _Governed By
Others_. Were Your Children Fated To Pass Their Lives As Slaves, You
Could Not Too Much Accustom Them To Slavery During Their Childhood; But
As They Are By And By To Be Free Men, With No One To Control Their Daily
Conduct, You Cannot Too Much Accustom Them To Self-Control While They
Are Still Under Your Eye. This It Is Which Makes The System Of
Discipline By Natural Consequences So Especially Appropriate To The
Social State Which We In England Have Now Reached. In Feudal Times, When
One Of The Chief Evils The Citizen Had To Fear Was The Anger Of His
Superiors, It Was Well That During Childhood, Parental Vengeance Should
Be A Chief Means Of Government. But Now That The Citizen Has Little To
Fear From Any One--Now That The Good Or Evil Which He Experiences Is
Mainly That Which In The Order Of Things Results From His Own Conduct,
He Should From His First Years Begin To Learn, Experimentally, The Good
Or Evil Consequences Which Naturally Follow This Or That Conduct. Aim,
Therefore, To Diminish The Parental Government, As Fast As You Can
Substitute For It In Your Child's Mind That Self-Government Arising From
A Foresight Of Results. During Infancy A Considerable Amount Of
Absolutism Is Necessary. A Three-Year Old Urchin Playing With An Open
Razor, Cannot Be Allowed To Learn By This Discipline Of Consequences;
For The Consequences May Be Too Serious. But As Intelligence Increases,
The Number Of Peremptory Interferences May Be, And Should Be,
Diminished,
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