The Woodlanders Part 2 - Thomas Hardy (debian ebook reader txt) 📗

126

Wood For Privacy?"

            

Grace Demurred,  And Fitzpiers Gave In,  And They Kept The Public

Road.

 

At Any Rate She Would Take His Arm?  This Also Was Gravely

Negatived,  The Refusal Being audible To Marty.

 

"Why Not?" He Inquired.

 

"Oh,  Mr. Fitzpiers--How Can You Ask?"

 

"Right,  Right," Said He,  His Effusiveness Shrivelled up.

 

As They Walked on She Returned to Her Inquiry.  "It Is About A

Matter That May Perhaps Be Unpleasant To You.  But I Think I Need

Not Consider That Too Carefully."

 

"Not At All," Said Fitzpiers,  Heroically.

 

She Then Took Him Back To The Time Of Poor Winterborne'S Death,

And Related the Precise Circumstances Amid Which His Fatal Illness

Had Come Upon Him,  Particularizing the Dampness Of The Shelter To

Which He Had Betaken Himself,  His Concealment From Her Of The

Hardships That He Was Undergoing,  All That He Had Put Up With,  All

That He Had Done For Her In his Scrupulous Considerateness.  The

Retrospect Brought Her To Tears As She Asked him If He Thought

That The Sin Of Having driven Him To His Death Was Upon Her.

 

Fitzpiers Could Hardly Help Showing his Satisfaction At What Her

Narrative Indirectly Revealed,  The Actual Harmlessness Of An

Escapade With Her Lover,  Which Had At First,  By Her Own Showing,

Looked so Grave,  And He Did Not Care To Inquire Whether That

Harmlessness Had Been The Result Of Aim Or Of Accident.  With

Regard To Her Question,  He Declared that In his Judgment No Human

Being could Answer It.  He Thought That Upon The Whole The Balance

Of Probabilities Turned in her Favor.  Winterborne'S Apparent

Strength,  During the Last Months Of His Life,  Must Have Been

Delusive.  It Had Often Occurred that After A First Attack Of That

Insidious Disease A Person'S Apparent Recovery Was A Physiological

Mendacity.

 

The Relief Which Came To Grace Lay Almost As Much In sharing her

Knowledge Of The Particulars With An Intelligent Mind As In the

Assurances Fitzpiers Gave Her.  "Well,  Then,  To Put This Case

Before You,  And Obtain Your Professional Opinion,  Was Chiefly Why

I Consented to Come Here To-Day," Said She,  When He Had Reached

The Aforesaid Conclusion.

 

"For No Other Reason At All?" He Asked,  Ruefully.

 

"It Was Nearly The Whole."

 

They Stood And Looked over A Gate At Twenty Or Thirty Starlings

Feeding in the Grass,  And He Started the Talk Again By Saying,  In

A Low Voice,  "And Yet I Love You More Than Ever I Loved you In my

Life."

 

Part 2 Chapter 20 Pg 127

Grace Did Not Move Her Eyes From The Birds,  And Folded her

Delicate Lips As If To Keep Them In subjection.

 

"It Is A Different Kind Of Love Altogether," Said He.  "Less

Passionate; More Profound.  It Has Nothing to Do With The Material

Conditions Of The Object At All; Much To Do With Her Character And

Goodness,  As Revealed by Closer Observation.  'Love Talks With

Better Knowledge,  And Knowledge With Dearer Love.'"

 

"That'S Out Of 'Measure For Measure,'" Said She,  Slyly.

 

"Oh Yes--I Meant It As A Citation," Blandly Replied fitzpiers.

"Well,  Then,  Why Not Give Me A Very Little Bit Of Your Heart

Again?"

 

The Crash Of A Felled tree In the Remote Depths Of The Wood

Recalled the Past At That Moment,  And All The Homely Faithfulness

Of Winterborne.  "Don'T Ask It! My Heart Is In the Grave With

Giles," She Replied,  Stanchly.

 

"Mine Is With You--In No Less Deep A Grave,  I Fear,  According to

That."

 

"I Am Very Sorry; But It Cannot Be Helped."

 

"How Can You Be Sorry For Me,  When You Wilfully Keep Open The

Grave?"

 

"Oh No--That'S Not So," Returned grace,  Quickly,  And Moved to Go

Away From Him.

 

"But,  Dearest Grace," Said He,  "You Have Condescended to Come; And

I Thought From It That Perhaps When I Had Passed through A Long

State Of Probation You Would Be Generous.  But If There Can Be No

Hope Of Our Getting completely Reconciled,  Treat Me Gently--Wretch

Though I Am."

 

"I Did Not Say You Were A Wretch,  Nor Have I Ever Said So."

 

"But You Have Such A Contemptuous Way Of Looking at Me That I Fear

You Think So."

 

Grace'S Heart Struggled between The Wish Not To Be Harsh And The

Fear That She Might Mislead Him.  "I Cannot Look Contemptuous

Unless I Feel Contempt," She Said,  Evasively.  "And All I Feel Is

Lovelessness."

 

"I Have Been Very Bad,  I Know," He Returned.  "But Unless You Can

Really Love Me Again,  Grace,  I Would Rather Go Away From You

Forever.  I Don'T Want You To Receive Me Again For Duty'S Sake,  Or

Anything of That Sort.  If I Had Not Cared more For Your Affection

And Forgiveness Than My Own Personal Comfort,  I Should Never Have

Come Back Here.  I Could Have Obtained a Practice At A Distance,

And Have Lived my Own Life Without Coldness Or Reproach.  But I

Have Chosen To Return To The One Spot On Earth Where My Name Is

Tarnished--To Enter The House Of A Man From Whom I Have Had Worse

Treatment Than From Any Other Man Alive--All For You!"

 

Part 2 Chapter 20 Pg 128

This Was Undeniably True,  And It Had Its Weight With Grace,  Who

Began To Look As If She Thought She Had Been Shockingly Severe.

 

"Before You Go," He Continued,  "I Want To Know Your Pleasure About

Me--What You Wish Me To Do,  Or Not To Do."

 

"You Are Independent Of Me,  And It Seems A Mockery To Ask That.

Far Be It From Me To Advise.  But I Will Think It Over.  I Rather

Need advice Myself Than Stand In a Position To Give It."

 

"You Don'T Need advice,  Wisest,  Dearest Woman That Ever Lived.  If

You Did--"

 

"Would You Give It To Me?"

 

"Would You Act Upon What I Gave?"

 

"That'S Not A Fair Inquiry," Said She,  Smiling despite Her

Gravity.  "I Don'T Mind Hearing it--What You Do Really Think The

Most Correct And Proper Course For Me."

 

"It Is So Easy For Me To Say,  And Yet I Dare Not,  For It Would Be

Provoking you To Remonstrances."

 

Knowing,  Of Course,  What The Advice Would Be,  She Did Not Press

Him Further,  And Was About To Beckon Marty Forward And Leave Him,

When He Interrupted her With,  "Oh,  One Moment,  Dear Grace--You

Will Meet Me Again?"

 

She Eventually Agreed to See Him That Day Fortnight.  Fitzpiers

Expostulated at The Interval,  But The Half-Alarmed earnestness

With Which She Entreated him Not To Come Sooner Made Him Say

Hastily That He Submitted to Her Will--That He Would Regard Her As

A Friend Only,  Anxious For His Reform And Well-Being,  Till Such

Time As She Might Allow Him To Exceed that Privilege.

 

All This Was To Assure Her; It Was Only Too Clear That He Had Not

Won Her Confidence Yet.  It Amazed fitzpiers,  And Overthrew All

His Deductions From Previous Experience,  To Find That This Girl,

Though She Had Been Married to Him,  Could Yet Be So Coy.

Notwithstanding a Certain Fascination That It Carried with It,  His

Reflections Were Sombre As He Went Homeward; He Saw How Deep Had

Been His Offence To Produce So Great A Wariness In a Gentle And

Once Unsuspicious Soul.

 

He Was Himself Too Fastidious To Care To Coerce Her.  To Be An

Object Of Misgiving or Dislike To A Woman Who Shared his Home Was

What He Could Not Endure The Thought Of.  Life As It Stood Was

More Tolerable.

 

When He Was Gone,  Marty Joined mrs. Fitzpiers.  She Would Fain

Have Consulted marty On The Question Of Platonic Relations With

Her Former Husband,  As She Preferred to Regard Him.  But Marty

Showed no Great Interest In their Affairs,  So Grace Said Nothing.

They Came Onward,  And Saw Melbury Standing at The Scene Of The

Felling which Had Been Audible To Them,  When,  Telling marty That

She Wished her Meeting with Mr. Fitzpiers To Be Kept Private,  She

Left The Girl To Join Her Father.  At Any Rate,  She Would Consult

Part 2 Chapter 20 Pg 129

Him On The Expediency Of Occasionally Seeing her Husband.

 

Her Father Was Cheerful,  And Walked by Her Side As He Had Done In

Earlier Days.  "I Was Thinking of You When You Came Up," He Said.

"I Have Considered that What Has Happened is For The Best.  Since

Your Husband Is Gone Away,  And Seems Not To Wish To Trouble You,

Why,  Let Him Go,  And Drop Out Of Your Life.  Many Women Are Worse

Off.  You Can Live Here Comfortably Enough,  And He Can Emigrate,

Or Do What He Likes For His Good.  I Wouldn'T Mind Sending him The

Further Sum Of Money He Might Naturally Expect To Come To Him,  So

That You May Not Be Bothered with Him Any More.  He Could Hardly

Have Gone On Living here Without Speaking to Me,  Or Meeting me;

And That Would Have Been Very Unpleasant On Both Sides."

 

These Remarks Checked her Intention.  There Was A Sense Of

Weakness In following them By Saying that She Had Just Met Her

Husband By Appointment.  "Then You Would Advise Me Not To

Communicate With Him?" She Observed.

 

"I Shall Never Advise Ye Again.  You Are Your Own Mistress--Do As

You Like.  But My Opinion Is That If You Don'T Live With Him,  You

Had Better Live Without Him,  And Not Go Shilly-Shallying and

Playing bopeep.  You Sent Him Away; And Now He'S Gone.  Very Well;

Trouble Him No More."

 

Grace Felt A Guiltiness--She Hardly Knew Why--And Made No

Confession.

 

 

 

Part 2 Chapter 21 Pg 130

 

The Woods Were Uninteresting,  And Grace Stayed in-Doors A Great

Deal.  She Became Quite A Student,  Reading more Than She Had Done

Since Her Marriage But Her Seclusion Was Always Broken For The

Periodical