Essays On Education And Kindred Subjects (Fiscle Part- 11) - Herbert Spencer (if you give a mouse a cookie read aloud txt) 📗

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Comfort Or Mutual Fitness Of    Their Guests. A Few Inconveniently-Large

Assemblies, Made Up Of    People Mostly Strange To Each Other Or But

Distantly Acquainted, And Having Scarcely Any Tastes In Common, Are Made

To Serve In Place Of    Many Small Parties Of    Friends Intimate Enough To

Have Some Bond Of    Thought And Sympathy. Thus The   Quantity Of    Intercourse

Is Diminished, And The   Quality Deteriorated. Because It Is The   Custom To

Make Costly Preparations And Provide Costly Refreshments; And Because It

Entails Both Less Expense And Less Trouble To Do This For Many Persons

On A Few Occasions Than For Few Persons On Many Occasions; The   Reunions

Of Our Less Wealthy Classes Are Rendered Alike Infrequent And Tedious.

 

 

 

Let It Be Further Observed, That The   Existing Formalities Of    Social

Intercourse Drive Away Many Who Most Need Its Refining Influence: And

Drive Them Into Injurious Habits And Associations. Not A Few Men, And

Not The   Least Sensible Men Either, Give Up In Disgust This Going Out To

Stately Dinners, And Stiff Evening-Parties; And Instead, Seek Society In

Clubs, And Cigar-Divans, And Taverns. "I'm Sick Of    This Standing About

In Drawing-Rooms, Talking Nonsense, And Trying To Look Happy," Will

Answer One Of    Them When Taxed With His Desertion. "Why Should I Any

Longer Waste Time And Money, And Temper? Once I Was Ready Enough To Rush

Home From The   Office To Dress; I Sported Embroidered Shirts, Submitted

To Tight Boots, And Cared Nothing For Tailors' And Haberdashers' Bills.

I Know Better Now. My Patience Lasted A Good While; For Though I Found

Each Night Pass Stupidly, I Always Hoped The   Next Would Make Amends. But

I'm Undeceived. Cab-Hire And Kid Gloves Cost More Than Any Evening

Party Pays For; Or Rather--It Is Worth The   Cost Of    Them To Avoid The

Party. No, No; I'll No More Of    It. Why Should I Pay Five Shillings A

Time For The   Privilege Of    Being Bored?"

 

 

 

If, Now, We Consider That This Very Common Mood Tends Towards

Billiard-Rooms, Towards Long Sittings Over Cigars And Brandy-And-Water,

Towards Evans's And The   Coal Hole, Towards Every Place Where Amusement

May Be Had; It Becomes A Question Whether These Precise Observances

Which Hamper Our Set Meetings, Have Not To Answer For Much Of    The

Prevalent Dissoluteness. Men Must Have Excitements Of    Some Kind Or

Other; And If Debarred From Higher Ones Will Fall Back Upon Lower. It Is

Not That Those Who Thus Take To Irregular Habits Are Essentially Those

Of Low Tastes. Often It Is Quite The   Reverse. Among Half A Dozen

Intimate Friends, Abandoning Formalities And Sitting At Ease Round The

Fire, None Will Enter With Greater Enjoyment Into The   Highest Kind Of

Social Intercourse--The Genuine Communion Of    Thought And Feeling; And If

The Circle Includes Women Of    Intelligence And Refinement, So Much The

Greater Is Their Pleasure. It Is Because They Will No Longer Be Choked

With The   Mere Dry Husks Of    Conversation Which Society Offers Them, That

They Fly Its Assemblies, And Seek Those With Whom They May Have

Discourse That Is At Least Real, Though Unpolished. The   Men Who Thus

Long For Substantial Mental Sympathy, And Will Go Where They Can Get It,

Are Often, Indeed, Much Better At The   Core Than The   Men Who Are Content

With The   Inanities Of    Gloved And Scented Party-Goers--Men Who Feel No

Need To Come Morally Nearer To Their Fellow Creatures Than They Can Come

While Standing, Tea-Cup In Hand, Answering Trifles With Trifles; And

Who, By Feeling No Such Need, Prove Themselves Shallow-Thoughted And

Cold-Hearted.

 

 

 

It Is True, That Some Who Shun Drawing-Rooms Do So From Inability To

Bear The   Restraints Prescribed By A Genuine Refinement, And That They

Would Be Greatly Improved By Being Kept Under These Restraints. But It

Is Not Less True That, By Adding To The   Legitimate Restraints, Which Are

Based On Convenience And A Regard For Others, A Host Of    Factitious

Restraints Based Only On Convention, The   Refining Discipline, Which

Would Else Have Been Borne With Benefit, Is Rendered Unbearable, And So

Misses Its End. Excess Of    Government Invariably Defeats Itself By

Driving Away Those To Be Governed. And If Over All Who Desert Its

Entertainments In Disgust Either At Their Emptiness Or Their Formality,

Society Thus Loses Its Salutary Influence--If Such Not Only Fail To

Receive That Moral Culture Which The   Company Of    Ladies, When Rationally

Regulated, Would Give Them, But, In Default Of    Other Relaxation, Are

Driven Into Habits And Companionships Which Often End In Gambling And

Drunkenness; Must We Not Say That Here, Too, Is An Evil Not To Be Passed

Over As Insignificant?

 

 

 

Then Consider What A Blighting Effect These Multitudinous Preparations

And Ceremonies Have Upon The   Pleasures They Profess To Subserve. Who, On

Calling To Mind The   Occasions Of    His Highest Social Enjoyments, Does Not

Find Them To Have Been Wholly Informal, Perhaps Impromptu? How

Delightful A Picnic Of    Friends, Who Forget All Observances Save Those

Dictated By Good Nature! How Pleasant The   Little Unpretended Gatherings

Of Book-Societies, And The   Like; Or Those Purely Accidental Meetings Of

A Few People Well Known To Each Other! Then, Indeed, We May See That "A

Man Sharpeneth The   Countenance Of    His Friend." Cheeks Flush, And Eyes

Sparkle. The   Witty Grow Brilliant, And Even The   Dull Are Excited Into

Saying Good Things. There Is An Overflow Of    Topics; And The   Right

Thought, And The   Right Words To Put It In, Spring Up Unsought. Grave

Alternates With Gay: Now Serious Converse, And Now Jokes, Anecdotes, And

Playful Raillery. Every One's Best Nature Is Shown, Every One's Best

Feelings Are In Pleasurable Activity; And, For The   Time, Life Seems Well

Worth Having.

 

 

 

Go Now And Dress For Some Half-Past Eight Dinner, Or Some Ten O'clock

"At Home;" And Present Yourself In Spotless Attire, With Every Hair

Arranged To Perfection. How Great The   Difference! The   Enjoyment Seems In

The Inverse Ratio Of    The   Preparation. These Figures, Got Up With Such

Finish And Precision, Appear But Half Alive. They Have Frozen Each Other

By Their Primness; And Your Faculties Feel The   Numbing Effects Of    The

Atmosphere The   Moment You Enter It. All Those Thoughts, So Nimble And So

Apt Awhile Since, Have Disappeared--Have Suddenly Acquired A

Preternatural Power Of    Eluding You. If You Venture A Remark To Your

Neighbour, There Comes A Trite Rejoinder, And There It Ends. No Subject

You Can Hit Upon Outlives Half A Dozen Sentences. Nothing That Is Said

Excites Any Real Interest In You; And You Feel That All You Say Is

Listened To With Apathy. By Some Strange Magic, Things That Usually Give

Pleasure Seem To Have Lost All Charm.

Part 2 Chapter 2 (On Manners And Fashion) Pg 93

 

 

You Have A Taste For Art. Weary Of    Frivolous Talk, You Turn To The

Table, And Find That The   Book Of    Engravings And The   Portfolio Of

Photographs Are As Flat As The   Conversation. You Are Fond Of    Music. Yet

The Singing, Good As It Is, You Hear With Utter Indifference; And Say

"Thank You" With A Sense Of    Being A Profound Hypocrite. Wholly At Ease

Though You Could Be, For Your Own Part, You Find That Your Sympathies

Will Not Let You. You See Young Gentlemen Feeling Whether Their Ties Are

Properly Adjusted, Looking Vacantly Round, And Considering What They

Shall Do Next. You See Ladies Sitting Disconsolately, Waiting For Some

One To Speak To Them, And Wishing They Had The   Wherewith To Occupy Their

Fingers. You See The   Hostess Standing About The   Doorway, Keeping A

Factitious Smile On Her Face, And Racking Her Brain To Find The

Requisite Nothings With Which To Greet Her Guests As They Enter. You See

Numberless Traits Of    Weariness And Embarrassment; And, If You Have Any

Fellow-Feeling, These Cannot Fail To Produce A Feeling Of    Discomfort.

The Disorder Is Catching; And Do What You Will You Cannot Resist The

General Infection. You Struggle Against It; You Make Spasmodic Efforts

To Be Lively; But None Of    Your Sallies Or Your Good Stories Do More Than

Raise A Simper Or A Forced Laugh: Intellect And Feeling Are Alike

Asphyxiated. And When, At Length, Yielding To Your Disgust, You Rush

Away, How Great Is The   Relief When You Get Into The   Fresh Air, And See

The Stars! How You "Thank God, That's Over!" And Half Resolve To Avoid

All Such Boredom For The   Future!

 

 

 

What, Now, Is The   Secret Of    This Perpetual Miscarriage And

Disappointment? Does Not The   Fault Lie With All These Needless

Adjuncts--These Elaborate Dressings, These Set Forms, These Expensive

Preparations, These Many Devices And Arrangements That Imply Trouble And

Raise Expectation? Who That Has Lived Thirty Years In The   World Has Not

Discovered That Pleasure Is Coy; And Must Not Be Too Directly Pursued,

But Must Be Caught Unawares? An Air From A Street-Piano, Heard While At

Work, Will Often Gratify More Than The   Choicest Music Played At A

Concert By The   Most Accomplished Musicians. A Single Good Picture Seen

In A Dealer's Window, May Give Keener Enjoyment Than A Whole Exhibition

Gone Through With Catalogue And Pencil. By The   Time We Have Got Ready

Our Elaborate Apparatus By Which To Secure Happiness, The   Happiness Is

Gone. It Is Too Subtle To Be Contained In These Receivers, Garnished

With Compliments, And Fenced Round With Etiquette. The   More We Multiply

And Complicate Appliances, The   More Certain Are We To Drive It Away.

 

 

 

The Reason Is Patent Enough. These Higher Emotions To Which Social

Intercourse Ministers, Are Of    Extremely Complex Nature; They

Consequently Depend For Their Production Upon Very Numerous Conditions;

The More Numerous The   Conditions, The   Greater The   Liability That One Or

Other Of    Them Will Be Disturbed, And The   Emotions Consequently

Prevented. It Takes A Considerable Misfortune To Destroy Appetite; But

Cordial Sympathy With Those Around May Be Extinguished By A Look Or A

Word. Hence It Follows, That The   More Multiplied The   _Unnecessary_

Requirements With Which Social Intercourse Is Surrounded, The   Less

Likely Are Its Pleasures To Be Achieved. It Is Difficult Enough To

Fulfil Continuously All The   _Essentials_ To A Pleasurable Communion With

Others: How Much More Difficult, Then, Must It Be Continuously To Fulfil

A Host Of    _Non-Essentials_ Also! It Is, Indeed, Impossible. The   Attempt

Inevitably Ends In The   Sacrifice Of    The   First To The   Last--The

Essentials To The   Non-Essentials. What Chance Is There Of    Getting Any

Genuine Response From The   Lady Who Is Thinking Of    Your Stupidity In

Taking Her In To Dinner On The   Wrong Arm? How Are You Likely To Have

Agreeable Converse With The   Gentleman Who Is Fuming Internally Because

He Is Not Placed Next To The   Hostess? Formalities, Familiar As They May

Become, Necessarily Occupy Attention--Necessarily Multiply The   Occasions

For Mistake, Misunderstanding, And Jealousy, On The   Part Of    One Or

Other--Necessarily Distract All Minds From The   Thoughts And Feelings

That Should Occupy Them--Necessarily, Therefore, Subvert Those

Conditions Under Which Only Any Sterling Intercourse Is To Be Had.

 

 

 

And This Indeed Is The   Fatal Mischief Which These Conventions Entail--A

Mischief To Which Every Other Is Secondary. They Destroy Those Highest

Of Our Pleasures Which They Profess To Subserve. All Institutions Are

Alike In This, That However Useful, And Needful Even, They Originally

Were, They Not Only In The   End Cease To Be So, But Become Detrimental.

While Humanity Is Growing, They Continue Fixed; Daily Get More

Mechanical And Unvital; And By And By Tend To Strangle What They Before

Preserved. It Is Not Simply That They Become Corrupt And Fail To Act:

They Become Obstructions. Old Forms Of    Government Finally Grow So

Oppressive, That They Must Be Thrown Off Even At The   Risk Of    Reigns Of

Terror. Old Creeds End In Being Dead Formulas, Which No Longer Aid But

Distort And Arrest The   General Mind; While The   State-Churches

Administering Them, Come To Be Instruments For Subsidising Conservatism

And Repressing Progress. Old Schemes Of    Education, Incarnated In Public

Schools And Colleges, Continue Filling The   Heads Of    New Generations With

What Has Become Relatively Useless Knowledge, And, By Consequence,

Excluding Knowledge Which Is Useful. Not An Organisation Of    Any

Kind--Political, Religious, Literary, Philanthropic--But What, By Its

Ever-Multiplying Regulations, Its Accumulating Wealth, Its Yearly

Addition Of    Officers, And The   Creeping Into It Of    Patronage And Party

Feeling, Eventually Loses Its Original Spirit, And Sinks Into A Mere

Lifeless Mechanism, Worked With A View To Private Ends--A Mechanism

Which Not Merely Fails Of    Its First Purpose, But Is A