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I was late turning you over. Said he’d kill more every hour I delayed.”

“You promised. You said you’d bring me home.” It was childish, but I felt ripped wide open.

“I know.”

“Do you know what he did to me?”

She looked away. She wasn’t getting off that easy. She needed to know.

“First they beat me. Then they starved me, hung me up, and beat me some more. I was shackled to a wall, whacked with a chain, and then they tried to drown me. And what for? Information that I don’t even know.”

A tear escaped one of her eyes and rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“You handed me over to them.” I glared at her. “I hate you.”

“I know.”

There was no more talking. We just walked for hours. Keeping the lake on our right, we headed away from the mountains. There was still no sign of intelligent life on this planet.

The words tumbled out of her mouth, surprising me, “It wasn’t personal.”

Tears stung my eyes and I sucked in a shuddering breath. “It was to me.” There was a whimper in my voice I prayed she couldn’t hear. I felt broken and beaten. I was broken and beaten.

“I didn’t want to betray you. It pained me to do so, but I did what needed to be done.”

“I get it. I do.” I took a couple steps backward.

“You are right to be angry.” She stepped closer, eliminating the space between us. “I don’t know how to apologize for what I’ve done. I don’t know how to make it right. I know I did the wrong thing and I feel horrible for it, but I don’t know how to make up for it. I don’t know how to apologize for the biggest mistake of my life. Saying I’m sorry doesn’t seem like enough for the hurt I caused you.”

Even in my anger, I found some measure of comfort in being physically close to her. “I can’t just forgive you in a day. My feelings aren’t like that. Healing is a process. I will say that I don’t hate you as much today as I did yesterday.” My throat felt tight and my eyes stung with tears I refused to let fall.

“I would sacrifice myself for you,” she whispered.

“I know.”

And I did know. I knew she was telling me the truth. She would have turned herself over. She would have been tortured. She would have killed herself for me. But it wasn’t her life that was threatened. It had been the lives of those she loved.

I knew this, but it settled in even more and I understood. The anger had been the only thing holding me together and now it was slipping away.

“You have a knife. Do you think I should die for my betrayal?” she asked.

I sucked in a staggered breath. My heart clenched inside my chest so hard I put my hand to it. “No. No, I don’t.”

Another silence settled between us that went on so long my wobbling knees threatened to give out on me. My breaths came quickly as I tried to fight off the panic flowing through me.

Everleigh quickly slipped her arm around my waist, holding me up. “Breathe.”

I placed my hand on her chest, hating myself for letting her hold me.

Later that night I stared into her eyes as we lay across from one another, the fire between us. “I don’t know how to move on,” I admitted.

“I know,” she answered.

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