A Sinless Betrayal - Cherie Benjamin (paper ebook reader .TXT) 📗

the outside of the castle. Snow Lion is positively beautiful, dressed in white robes adorned with blue ribbons and jewels. She wears her crown on her head, like the true princess she was.

I can see the pain in Abigor's eyes as they roam over his deceased sister's body, lying peacefully in the open coffin filled to the brim with white and blue flower petals. Iron Coyote stands near him, his face as hard as a rock but sadness in his eyes. They lift the coffin onto the long boat and settle it into the water.

Snow Lion's maids and servants cry for the loss. Everyone in the castle knew that she was a gentle and kind woman to all. Three Horses, now widowed, cries for his dead wife. The child that they had is nowhere to be found. A servant walks to up to Abigor and hands him the torch, lit with fire. His face contorts with sadness and pain.

He looks down at me for something. I don't know what to do. If I were in his place, I would be feeling the exact same way. Instead of looking away, I wipe the tears from my eyes and nod slowly. He steps forward with the torch and slowly makes his way over to his sister's still body. Three Horses follows him. He leans down and kisses her head, and Three Horses does the same.

Then Abigor touches the torch to the edge of the boat, watching as it lights up with the bright orange flame. He grits his teeth together harshly before dipping the torch into the water and nudging the burning boat out into the water with the tip of his toe.

He returns to my side almost immediately. I lean against his arm and he lets me into his embrace. The boat burns out on the water, lifting Snow Lion's spirit all the way up to the afterlife. I am used to going to burials back home, but this funeral is so much more symbolic. Instead of hiding one's body away beneath the earth for an eternity, these people believe that by burning the deceased, their ashes will rise up into the sky to be once again whole in their afterlife.

He is shaking violently now. Suddenly, Abigor turns on his heel and strides into the castle. I chase him inside, calling out his name relentlessly but he still does not stop to wait for me. People begin to file inside once the boat begins to sink and Snow Lion's body turns to ashes. Petals and ashes scattered in the wind.

I go in after him, wanting to comfort him and hold him in my arms. He paces the length of his bedroom, clutching his head in his hands. "What do I do?" he murmurs. "She's gone. She's really gone now, 'Eliza."

I gulp. "I want you to understand that she'll always be with you in your heart," I tell him, laying a palm over his heated chest. "She's never left you. Neither did Gentle Raven, your mother, or White Fawn."

Seeing Abigor's hardened features make me realize that he still hasn't cried over the loss of his last female family member. He looks at me. "I haven't cried in such a long time. You're right," he mumbles. "You must think me insensitive." He gives a humourless laugh. "I am."

Just witnessing the pain laced through his voice, and the evident agony in his steel brown eyes, my eyes begin to become wet once more with tears. I sniff rather loudly when a tear comes rumbling down my cheek. "You're not insensitive," I whisper to him. "You've no time to cry. People are always counting you to be the strong one. But you don't have to be anymore. Not in here, Abigor. In here you cry all you want, and I'll hold you until my arms fall off.

Abigor looks at me with bewilderment before shutting his eyes and collapsing to his knees. His arms reach out and pull me in, mashing his face into my stomach and hugging me close. And then it happens. The tears come rolling down his face and he inhales the much-needed breath of air. My arms instantly fly around him and gather him closer to my body.

"Oh Gods," he cries. His hands clutch at my white silks and tear them from my body. I do not cry or stop him from doing so. I stay in my place, holding him and letting him strip me naked. I know he will not try to take me.

Once his breechcloth comes off, I realize the symbolism of being naked against him. He wants to be as close to me as possible, and me allowing him to do so has calmed him greatly. I sit on his lap and his head just lies limply on my chest as he cries.

I cradle him in my arms. He has been so neglected. His mother died when he was young, and the last mother figure in his life, his sister Snow Lion, has now gone off to join the other ladies of his family. He was whipped mercilessly by his father, taunted and tormented by his older brother after what happened to White Fawn, and left a gold throne to sit and grin and bear it after the life of hell he'd spent living. He has no woman to lean on but me, and I'm determined to be there.

His burning hands roam my backside, tugging me even closer yet. He explores the soft skin of my breasts and thighs, just revelling in grandeur from the touch. He kisses the necklace on my neck. "You are the last one," he tells me. "If I lose you…I wouldn't know how to go on."

I kiss his temple, my hand stroking his long hair comfortingly. "Then you shall never lose me." He looks up into my eyes, his brown orbs searching mine. I gulp and swallow the thick bubble of air that had been building in my throat. I nod my head. "My friend, the one I told you about before, said not to commit yourself to a man unless you really love him."

He leans his head back against the chair and settles me on his lap. I can feel his cock hardening against my thigh. "And…do you love me, little one?"

I take a deep breath before nodding my head quickly. "Oh yes. I love you," I tell him.

A broken smile spreads across his face. "Alright then. I…I love you as well." His hands settle on the soft swell of my hips. "What else did your wise friend say?"

My hands reach up to cradle his face in my hands. "She told me that…after you decided you love the man, you can decide to give yourself to him." I'm afraid. My heart is pounding. But just by looking at this man, I know that there is nothing to be afraid of. "Yes, my love, I'm giving myself to you."

He shakes his head and strokes a finger down my cheek. "No. No, you don't have to do this just because I'm hurting."

I press my body into his. "I'm not. You said, 'when I'm ready.' I'm ready now, Abigor. Make love to me."
Question

I gulp and swallow the thick bubble of air that had been building in my throat. I nod my head. "My friend, the one I told you about before, said not to commit yourself to a man unless you really love him."

He leans his head back against the chair and settles me on his lap. I can feel his cock hardening against my thigh. "And…do you love me, little one?"

I take a deep breath before nodding my head quickly. "Oh yes. I love you," I tell him.

A broken smile spreads across his face. "Alright then. I…I love you as well." His hands settle on the soft swell of my hips. "What else did your wise friend say?"

My hands reach up to cradle his face in my hands. "She told me that…after you decided you love the man, you can decide to give yourself to him." I'm afraid. My heart is pounding. But just by looking at this man, I know that there is nothing to be afraid of. "Yes, my love, I'm giving myself to you."

He shakes his head and strokes a finger down my cheek. "No. No, you don't have to do this just because I'm hurting."

I press my body into his. "I'm not. You said, 'when I'm ready.' I'm ready now, Abigor. Make love to me."

"Eliza. Eliza!"

Suddenly I gasp, my eyes flying open and I'm jolting in his lap. He looks confused by my actions, but I too am confused. Did I really just say that to him? I can't tell. Oh, I must have been dreaming. I must have been. He called my name. Perhaps I zoned out. I think I did.

But the thing is, it all felt so real. It didn't seem like I was dreaming, but I apparently was…because I don't remember telling him I ever loved him or wanted to make love to him, or seeing the look on his face when I told him to 'go on ahead.'

What did my tiny daydream truly mean? It must have meant something. In my daydream, I was so positive about what I wanted—him. I don't think that I could have ever been that brazen.

"What's the matter? I called your name several times and you still didn't hear me." He says to me. I shake my head. It's nothing. I'm honestly confused. Do I love him? Does he love me too? Or is it just another product of my imagination? Do I want him like he wants me?

I lean back in his lap. In my dizzy mindset only a few moments before, I brushed something off that was not meant to be brushed so easily off. "When you left in a hurry last night…you went and saw another woman."

Almost immediately I see the guilt shining in his eyes. "I was drunk. I told you I was sorry." I sigh and climb off of his lap. He looks distraught by the action and reaches to pull me back. I lunge out of the way and start to put my silks back on. I don't mean to hurt him. I only want to cover myself.

I shrug my shoulders, slipping the breast cloth and genital cloth on before wrapping the silks around my body. "I didn't really address it before because I didn't want to fight again. But it still does hurt…seeing you with her."

His face pales. "You…you saw me with her?"

At first, I do not know if I want to start this conversation, but I find myself nodding before I can stop myself. "I went to look for you after being locked in the room for several hours…and I just saw something I wasn't supposed to see."

His shoulders droop and he sighs, his tone laden with guilt and culpability. "I don't desire her like I desire you. With Athenodora, it's just a desire of the flesh."

I find myself frowning at him. "You desire my flesh too. You've told me that one on countless occasions."

He glances up at me, noticing the bit of humour laced in my tone. "But with you," he begins, reaching forwards from his chair and