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Meeting him again...

"Nidhi ,I think you are just worrying too much .We are safe here . " But Nidhi still packed my clothes too . I didn't want to move out of the country .I wasn't afraid of Advay now after talking to various survivors and making contact with the influential women . I too shared my story which made me more confident . 

" No,you need to come with me . " She carried Ashray in her arms and pecked his cheek . He was two months old now, healthy and getting more beautiful with each passing day. 

" Nidhi. No. That's it " She put him down on his cradle and listened to me attentively. " I DON'T WANT TO GO. OKAY? " She nodded  " I am not afraid of him. He us not a demon after all. After I studied the children living in violent houses, the conclusion was that 70% of the kids boy or girl considered abuse as normal. " She tried to say something in between but I stopped her. " And do you know even I am that kid  or else who sane girl will bear that? Why didn't I tell my parents? Why didn't I slap him the first time he hit me? Then how can we expect a guy who himself endured the abuse till 17 ? " 

" But bhabhi are you defending his actions? " Her voice broke from the overwhelming emotion. She needed to understand that if whenever I said something related to Advay , I wasn't pointing her as a negative person. 

" No. Absolutely what he did was wrong but we had happy moments too. It was marriage of mere 10 months. " I laughed slowly. " But a man with this severe mental health too had some heart. " We had our small party alone and he even gave me his phone. Everything was going just fine until I wore the dress .. 

" Your words are not making any sense to me. What are you even saying? " She was shocked and devastated. 

" Listen I am not going to marry him again or live with him when he comes out. I just want to win over my fears. I want to talk to him about everything. Everything he did. I can't run away like I am doing for an year. " My eyes we're filled with tears  

" You want to TALK to him! " She raised her voice. " Why? " 

" Because whenever I talk to any other abuse survivor, I advice them to face the abuser and let it go. The fear, the anxiety. But I can't do the same. " I watched her frowned face " I want to meet him. Talk to him shout at him. If he will seem as a threat I will definitely go to a safer place. Plus there is lot of time. " 

" I don't know. " She hugged Ashray " I don't want him to end like my father or brother. Please take care of that " She stood up giving him a last kiss. 

" And you should continue your therapy over there too. It's good for you. " She would never acknowledge my concerns related to her mental health. 

" Are you sure you are not falling for him? Have you forgotten the pain  , bhabhi? " Her eyes showed doubt and sympathy.. 

" No. I am not. " The truth was plain and simple. " And about my pain. Yes I have forgotten it. It's like menstrual cramps. You don't remember them after they are gone but you dread them the most. " She never returned the smile I gave her and walked out with her bags. 

" So it's just you and me I guess now. " I kissed Ashray and he gave a weak laugh. 

After lunch, I dressed up in a mid thigh length dress and did a light makeup. Ashray was sleeping so I carried him in my arms. The driver rose up as he saw me walking to the car. 

" Where to ma'am? " He asked. 

" Tihar jail. " He opened the door. After we were settled, he drove to the destination where my nightmare lived. I was waiting for this. Since Ashray was born. Being a mother gave me an inner strength. But Nidhi won't let me go. Her reasoning was that he hadn't changed much and his questions would give me a panic attack. 

A message popped up on the screen of my phone. 

" Thank you didi. My son is fine now. " One of her client texted. Her son had stopped talking to anyone after he saw his father trying to burn his mother. The incident shook him.. 

Didn't Advay's father try to kill his mom too many times? Won't it had affected him? He had no one to talk with. 

" Mam. We are here. " The not so hygienic place was there. Right in front of me. I could run now. And never face him. But.. 

" Wait here. I will be here in an hour. " The driver came out the car and went to a nearby shop. My feet felt so weak. I could feel the shaking of my entire body. After informing the officer he asked ne to follow him. A long dark corridor filled with different criminals made me hide my baby in his blanket.. " Here" He said and banged the wall. " Dr. You have a visitor. " He shouted. 

I peeked in to find him sleeping comfortably on a soft mattress bed. The room had every facility even a window. What kind of jail was this? 

His tall frame rose from the bed, stretching his arms. My anxiety reached its peak. Nothing could ever prepare me for the meeting. He turned his head with a not so intrested expression. His cheeks were pink and he looked perfectly healthy. His appearance didn't match my imagination of a weak and thin man.. 

Our eyes met. He walked hurriedly crossing the cell to the bars. He saw my baby wrapped in the blanket. His small face was visible. He opened his eyes and stared at Advay with his innocent orbs. 

" He is not handsome. " He said. I clutched on to the blanket angrily! " He is beautiful. " His fingers touched the exposed cheek. I pulled my baby back. Advay looked at me and his eyes ran on the dress. 

" You are looking beautiful. " The old tone of his authoritative voice lingered. " I am glad you came. I thought I had never see you again. I missed you every day, every hour and every second. I missed him too. What's his name? " He stared at my lips. 

"Aa..Ashrayy.. " I mentally slapped myself for being too scared. He sensed my fear. And smiled. 

" Doesn't it sound like mine? " He questioned curiously. 

" I am not here to talk about random stuff like we are a normal couple. I am here to talk. Talk about you. And only you. " His face shocked with my answer. 

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