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chewing her ear. His bald head had been powdered white and his eyes were blood-shot. He was looking very alert. His eyes started to blaze, little mushroom clouds appearing in them. Papus wanted to put on the ancient rune music. Papus had some chessboard designed sailing pumps on and hitched up his cassock and started dancing, a strange jerking dancehall like jig. He was not doing his chances any favours.

 

"I don't know how to yet, Pappy baby," Elaine slurred.

 

The strange concoction of Norkweedroot and Mushroom Cacti had a pleasant effect on her. She was thankful for the Psilopzi Tribe for those fine gifts. She might be able to get astral for real this time and not just trip out and wake up in a bin next to a kebab house in Camden...I cannot name it for legal reasons but it is just a bit further down from the World’s End…  

 

Elaine needed some home comforts; she was very big on the homely remedies scene. The walls of her small apartment in Camden were covered in nicotine and lysergic acid and an odd looking white crystalline dust. It looked very pretty. Papus must have been having a little soiree when I was working, Elaine thought. Where had the time gone?

 

…Papus smirked; he did not have the time to think about Time. These epistemological matters were very puerile to a great immortal seer like Papus. Papus smiled a thin, knowing, smile -- full of transcendental universal knowledge, of course. He handed Elaine, his current muse, a sacred text that had been carefully covered in a latex nuclear-proof cover. Elaine looked at it. It was printed on a crude form of poorly tanned leather. She had not heard of it before, reading the inscription on the cover. It read:

 

'Sephef Nesek Magi Quqtvs Qol vel Coruscatio, Sub Figura CMXXXIV'

 

"I've never seen it before," said Elaine.

 

Papus laughed, taking a fine clay pipe and lighting his strong alien shag. Elaine's nostrils breathed in the fumes; she wanted to vomit but, at the same time, she felt excited. A tingling occurred between her moistened loins. She suddenly started menstruation, quite unnaturally, blood and semen seeping between her thighs. Elaine coughed, her mouth parched. Elaine needed a drink.

 

“You need to keep lubricated, Elaine,” said Papus. He was looking very smug, as you can imagine.

 

Elaine licked the blood and semen, smiling at Papus. It had something else in it, maybe some kind of every day domestic cleaning product that I cannot mention for legal reasons… Just easy on the household ammonia, thought Elaine.

 

"Get excited, Elaine." Papus crooned, his voice echoed around the recesses of her mind. "We will go everywhere; we'll be together forever, Elaine. And we will help the Seven Hells transform this dull Earth realm. We will make sure all humans start again; there will be some evolutionary mutations."

 

"How do I serve thee, thine, thou, ye, oh wise Papus?" Elaine droned.

 

"You have been watching too many horror films, dearie. It's not going to be like that. I need you to make sure the Beast State emerges, so you'll need some agents to help you. I will make sure there are no rogue idiots at the C.O.G.," snarled Papus.

 

"Do you want me to unleash the Phultor?" Elaine helpfully suggested. She had removed all her clothes and covered herself in the blood of an old goat, once known as Mindy the old Goat. She had killed old Mindy with an ivory knife some time before and had chopped her up and frozen her remains for this sort of magickal occasion. There's nothing wrong with recycling of this kind, I suppose. Sacrifices are sacrifices and it beats drawing attention to yourself and cutting up another bloody horse.

 

"Yes, Phultor," repeated Elaine for extra dramatic effect. In her mind it was as if she was auditioning for a Dario Argento film. She would have done some girl-on-girl scenes with Asia any day of the week, just for the record.

 

"What? Oh that! No, not yet. Maybe another time, Elaine," Papus mused.

 

He noticed that Elaine was naked. Even though she was still twenty-five years old, she could have easily passed for forty-five years old. She had been so stressed, Papus was able to feed off her cortisol. It had all taken a huge toll on her. He wondered if she was ever going to properly cross over to him. Papus liked being devious. Though he was never thought of as a rude boy, he was always trying it on. He had not told Elaine that she would unknowingly swap vessels with Papus…Papus had been inside many women in the past, as well as many men. He got about with no trouble at all. Astral sex was getting infectious…  

 

"What do I need?" Elaine asked Papus, who was pouring her more of the strange concoction.

 

"You need an ape, a stick insect, a bear and a beetle. All will be clear soon, my muse," ordered Papus. "Also, Elaine, if you get time, read the 'Coruscatio: The Magic Cactus Voice'. It will help you summon a colleague of mine."

 

With that Papus flickered like a hologram, then with a death straight out of a copycat video game trying to replicate a scene from an old film […Yes, studies suggest most computer games are made by virgins, young men and women starved of sex…]…

…Papus vanished in a strange electrical shimmer. It was not too much of a mystery to a layman scientist though. It was something to do with the electromagnetic particles transferring…

 

…On a passenger flight to Glasgow in December 2012, the pilot spotted something that looked blue and yellow…It was not a glider…The censor was unable to censor the politically correct monitor…It was a close shave…

 

10.32: Elaine resumed masturbating while watching Wallace and Gromit from the beginning…

 

3. A Fearful Foetor

 

…On the mini pzi-cam devices, Agent Parsons watched Elaine Pettifer talking to herself and masturbating with a glowing white snake vibrator. He was aroused, and scratched at his moist sweaty groin. He was getting hot in this small office next to Turnham Green tube station. Maybe this was Elaine's trick, to lure him over there. He could have satisfied her sexual urges. He thought it might turn into an Occultist Stakeout and he did not want that. History repeating can be bad enough. But Agent Parsons was fat, balding and depressed with being left with dull work by his Senior Agent, Hubbard.

 

He looked at Elaine again, looking at the expressions on her little scientifically posh punch face. He could smell her good breeding. Maybe he could pretend to be a delivery driver or repair man. It had crossed his mind more than once in the two years of Elaine's surveillance. Under covert C.O.G. orders, he had monitoring her in every step of her dull life. Pzi-cams were everywhere and occasionally picked up the odd thought, even though the technology wasn't well-developed enough to read all of her mind.

 

Agent Parsons was unsure of this mission, but he received these orders from his fellow agent, Hubbard, who was extremely experienced. They had been through too much together and Parsons trusted Hubbard. He secretly wondered what Hubbard done when he took his prayer time. He had never seen any of Hubbard's ceremonies. Hubbard was praying to his Alien God, Phuloannes, at the time Elaine resumed her masturbation rituals. Hubbard never called him Jack, thought Parsons. He thought of his past, which was just a blur, but sometimes slowed to a reverie of fragmented realities. Here he was again, an eternally fat middle-aged man, slowly falling apart to come back again as another fat balding middle-aged man. At least every death was different he thought.

 

Jack Parsons had been selected as an official Stasis Agent with the C.O.G. since 1947. He had known Sheriff R. Galvez , the Area 51 Crew and all the crazies at the U.R.S.O.M.A.D. research facility in Kilburn and its secret testing centre situated in Ladbroke Grove. It was rumoured to have been abandoned in 1965, but Parsons had been back there for an underground event in 2000; the year of his removal from stasis.

 

After studying under Professor Norkgrub, he had joined the Order Templi Orienti. He was a fond believer in Love-Laws and had thirteen children with six women in various realms, cities and countries. Most of his children mutated, only Duncan Ohio decided to remain as a human. Parsons had also unknowingly fathered many mutants on the terra-formed colony of Dett 62-92 via Paddington. He had been stuck in London for too long. He did not like the 21st Century, for some strange reason.

 

Why had Hubbard released him from stasis? He was meant to be needed in Earth-realm 4567AD. Maybe he was needed for another Special Assignment? He did not know why the plan had been activated much earlier. He wanted his stasis money back. 

 

Jack Parsons opened a bag of Scampi Fries. It was his only vice. Many adepts have continued to study that by remaining celibate for numerous rituals, one can increase their chances of success. Rituals are unpredictable, of course. The sex-magikal energy was all too precious to waste on mere follies…

 

Parsons sometimes included masturbation within this framework, too. Manna was vital. But Elaine's ritual was considered new and somewhat strange, as it had been corrupted so blatantly by external pzionik-demoniac forces. A complete corruption of all that was known was not known on Earth for some time. That was why Hubbard was being a bit queer with me, thought Parsons.

 

At that point, Hubbard entered. Hubbard was a small man with large glasses and long ginger hair. His skin was decomposing; he looked ill, as if he had once had cosmetic surgery by some unqualified surgeon...Yes, he also had herpes and a U.T.I...

 

...Parsons had read up on how Hubbard was interested in all sorts of things, and had recently created a small cult that influenced very wealthy people all around the world. This was taking up more of Hubbard's time, as they paid Hubbard to "bring them down to earth". He never needed to bring out any bodies…

 

"What's going on here, Hubbard?" Parsons said.

 

Hubbard ignored Parsons and stared at the bag of Scampi Fries that Parsons was holding.

 

"Scampi Fries?" Hubbard queried.

 

"Yes, I love them," said Parsons. “My only vice!”

 

Parsons's mouth was moving slowly; small pieces of Scampi Fries encrusted around his lips and some remnants had turned to mush in between his decaying teeth.

 

Hubbard belched, looking somewhat uneasy. Hubbard was thinking about licking the crumbs off Parsons' lips. It might freak Parsons out, thought Hubbard.

 

"I've just realized something, Jack. I have to go," said Hubbard, patting the balding Parsons on the arm.

 

Hubbard vanished, kindly leaving a resinous trail…As Parsons finished his bag of Scampi Fries, he realized Hubbard had just called him Jack. He had never done that. Parsons started to cry, his tears streaming into the empty packet of Scampi Fries…

 

4. The Tombs of Time-Bombed Folly

 

Star-Base 32: Realm 24XZ400T:

 

The colony Star-Base had almost been destroyed. The world here was in turmoil, too. The metallic monstrosity of the Star-Base, the planet looked very peaceful. It was full of multi-coloured lakes and strange rainbow skies. The rainbows had been in everyone's mind on this realm, before the evo-muto-virus was unleashed. It was undergoing mutation farm re-population. From spy satellites and drones, the C.O.G was already spying on the progress of the mutation here.

 

The problem was the human population had become dust magnets, and mutated into violent forms of all consuming humanoid dustmite. This was not the ideal transformation. The C.O.G. preferred apathy and silent slow changes to daft violent lifeforms tearing up everything. This was the work of some rogue agents. Total hypnosis could well be the only viable option…

 

…As they looked at the masses of dust people, they saw two C.O.G. Agents, known as "Cleaners", trying to control the population. They were part of the C.O.G.'s privatized Mutant Police. The first C.O.G. Agent was a strange looking plant-life form, with a seed gun. He was a zoophyte called Professor Norkgrub. He was able to produce thousands

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