The Castrator - Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov (most read books in the world of all time .txt) 📗

HAVE HIM INITIATE HIM INTO THE SECRETS OF HIS ART. HE'D BEGGED HIM AND EVEN OFFERED HIM FIVE PERCENT OF THE ENTIRE GAMBLING REVENUE OF THE RESERVATION-AND THAT WAS A HELL OF A LOT.

BLUEBIRD HAD ALWAYS TURNED DOWN THE OFFER WITH A SMILE, OBVIOUSLY HAVING SOMETHING ON HIS MIND.

- "TRAVELLING THE ASTRAL WORLDS CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS," HE HAD EXPLAINED, "ESPECIALLY FOR THE UNINITIATED - DON'T ASK THAT OF ME, BIG BROTHER!"

AND INDEED BIG BROTHER WAS A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN BLUEBIRD, WHO VOTED HIM SENIORITY.

BIG BROTHER WAS ALWAYS TEMPERATE IN HIS WORDS, WISE, BUT EAGER FOR ADVENTURE, WHICH HAD GOTTEN HIM INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE.

AND BLUEBIRD WAS ALWAYS A PRAGMATIST, HE OFTEN SAID:

- LIFE IS NOT ABOUT LOVE, IT'S ABOUT LIVING.

AND THOUGH THIS WISDOM DIDN'T QUITE FIT INTO INDIAN FOLKLORE - BIG BROTHER KNEW BLUEBIRD WAS RIGHT.

SOCIAL INEQUALITY, TEENAGE PREGNANCY, SAME-SEX MARRIAGE AND SO ON STILL REIGNED ON RESERVATIONS.

BUT THE BALANCE WAS PRESERVED WITH GREAT EFFORT AND LIFE WAS STILL POSSIBLE.

BLUEBIRD NEVER ASKED HIM EXACTLY WHY BIG BROTHER WANTED TO GO TO THE ASTRAL WORLDS THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE HUMAN ONE.

NOW BIG BROTHER WAS SMOKING HIS PIPE, WHICH THE INDIANS CALLED THE INDIAN PIPE WAS SYMBOLIC IN NATURE, ITS HEAD REPRESENTING THE EARTH AND THE STONE FROM WHICH THE PLANET EARTH HAD BEEN CREATED AT THE BEGINNING OF TIME, ITS MOUTHPIECE REPRESENTING ALL THE PLANTS, AND THE VARIOUS DECORATIONS SUCH AS BARBED PIG NEEDLES, EAGLE FEATHERS, AND SO ON, THE ANIMAL KINGDOM. THE BIG BROTHER SUCKED THOUGHTFULLY AND MUTTERED:

- HOPEFULLY A BLUEBIRD WILL HOP OVER THE GANGPLANK. ALL IS IN THE HANDS OF THE GREAT SPIRIT.

THE SILENCE OF THE PRESERVE WAS BROKEN BY THE DISTANT HOWL OF A COYOTE THAT HAD APPARENTLY GONE HUNTING.

SINGING SHADOW KNEW THAT EVEN IF HE WERE BROUGHT BACK TO THE LIVING, UNCLEAN FORCES WOULD FOLLOW HER SON ON HIS EARTHLY PATH. SHE HAD TO COME TO TERMS WITH THAT FACT.

- "MY STRENGTH WAS NOT ENOUGH," SHE SHOOK HER HEAD SADLY, "SO IT TOOK SOMEONE ELSE'S INTERVENTION TO SAVE YOU, BUT THIS IS YOUR EARTHLY PATH, BLUEBIRD. YOU GAVE HOPE TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS RESERVE AND TRIED TO MAKE THEIR LIVES EASIER."

ZONARA KNEW THAT SUMMONING THE DEMON TO BE BOUND TO THE SOUL OF THE SUFFERER WAS INEVITABLE. BUT SHE ALSO KNEW THAT THE RITUAL COULD HAVE CONSEQUENCES THAT COULD BE DANGEROUS.

BLUEBIRD STIRRED AND OPENED HIS EYES. HE COULD SEE BLURRILY, BUT COULDN'T MOVE HIS LIPS. HE TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING, BUT THE WORDS COULDN'T COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH CLEARLY. HIS FACE WAS STILL PALE AND TORTURED - AS IF IT BORE THE SEAL OF DEMONIC INTERFERENCE.

- "THEY SAY THE GREAT SPIRIT HEARS OUR PLEAS," THE BLUEBIRD SPOKE WITH ANGUISH, 'BUT ...

ZONARA WATCHED HIM CAREFULLY.

ARLO STOOD WITH AN IMPENETRABLE FACE, ONLY PARTLY VISIBLE BECAUSE OF THE DARKNESS IN THE INDIAN TENT.

- "WHAT HAPPENED?," ZONARA ASKED HIM GENTLY, "WHO WERE THEY?," BLUEBIRD STARED AT HER IN SURPRISE - IT HAD CLEARLY TAKEN HIM SOME TIME TO REALISE EXACTLY WHAT WAS HAPPENING. THIS WORLD AND THIS REALITY HAD ITS OWN LAWS AND HE HAD TO GET USED TO THEM AGAIN - THAT WAS THE PRICE OF HIS SALVATION!

 

[1] A famous Indian parable expressing the inner struggle between good and evil.

[2]   Kaylan - warrior of life.

[3]  Kamaloka - a world of passions.

BLUEBIRD

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: BLUEBIRD

 

AFTER AN IMMENSE EFFORT AND A STAMMER, HE SAID THE FOLLOWING:

- THEY CAUGHT ME ON THE WAY BACK FROM A NEW SCOTIA AS I WAS PASSING THROUGH ONTARIO. AND BEFORE THE BORDER. THEY WERE ENOUGH. THEY WERE STRONG. THEY WERE STRONG! AND THEY WANTED TO LEARN SOMETHING. THEY THOUGHT THEY KNEW IT. AN UNEQUAL BATTLE BEGAN. THERE WERE NINE OR TEN. I KNOCKED DOWN FIVE OR SIX, BUT THE REST HAD GUNS AND STARTED SHOOTING. WHO EVER FOUND ME? SEEMS DAMN STRANGE TO ME! EVEN DEFIES ALL LOGIC.

- "BUT YOU'RE STILL HERE," ZONARA GRUNTED WITHOUT REVEALING ANYTHING.

BLUEBIRD KEPT LYING. ON THE FLORAL INDIAN BLANKET THAT SERVED AS HIS BEDDING.

- "I THINK IT IS FAR MORE APPROPRIATE TO SPEAK OF LIFE AFTER LIFE," HE MUTTERED. "FOR I NEVER DIED! I WAS MERELY A TRAVELLER WHO RETURNED TO A PLACE HE KNEW WELL - FOR GOOD OR ILL! BUT IN ANY CASE THINGS WILL NOT END THERE! AND MAY EVEN BE JUST BEGINNING!"

AT THIS TIME A SINGING SHADOW ENTERED THE TENT, AND BUSIED HIMSELF IN LOOKING AFTER HIS SON, OR WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIM.

ZONARA WENT OUTSIDE AND LEFT HER TO TEND TO HIS WOUNDS. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO OVERDO THE USE OF FORCE, FOR IT WASN'T RIGHT AND WOULD HARDLY EASE THE SUFFERER'S TORMENT ANY MORE.

THE INDIANS OUTSIDE LOOKED AT HER WITH SOME STRANGE MIXTURE OF DISBELIEF AND RESPECT, FOR THEY NEEDED BLUEBIRD.

ARLO HAD MANAGED TO SELL A GOOD DEAL OF HIS DUTCH WEED TO SOME OF THE MORE INTERESTED CUSTOMERS-YES, THE WEED COULD REPLACE THE TOBACCO THEY HAD PUT IN THEIR PIPES.

SO HADN'T THEIR ANCESTORS SMOKED WEED BEFORE A FIGHT TO KEEP THEM OUT OF PAIN AND FIGHTING LIKE BEASTS!

ARLO DECIDED TO SELL THE REST OF THE WEED AS WELL, TO GET SOME MONEY THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL TO HIM.

THE HIPSTER HAD A VERY STRANGE EFFECT ON THOSE AROUND HIM, FOR SOMEWHERE IN THERE ONE COULD CLEARLY FEEL THE HOPELESS SADNESS THAT SEEMED TO HAVE OVERWHELMED THE MENOMINEES.

- IS THIS THE LEGACY OF A FELISTER? THAT CRAZY, UNHINGED PIG CASTRATOR!

ARLO WAS AS IF SPELLBOUND, GAZING AT THE BEAUTIFUL MOON WITH ITS PALE COLOUR BUT DISTINCT LUNAR CRATERS - A BRIGHT SPOT AGAINST ALL THIS DARKNESS.

THE HIPSTER REALIZED THE AIMLESSNESS OF HIS LIFE. BUT HE HAD LIVED AS A MERCENARY FOR THE DRUG CARTELS-OR RATHER, AS AN INFORMANT FOR SOME PETTY DETAIL. HE'D NEVER GOTTEN INTO THE BIG GAME-HAD NEVER EVEN SNIFFED IT.

- "I'M USELESS AND I DON'T SEE WHY I'M HERE," WHISPERED ARLO. "A LOST SOUL IN THE CYCLE OF EVENTS! SOME SAY THAT WE HIPSTERS ARE JUST GROWN UP KIDS, BUT IS THAT REALLY TRUE! AND WHETHER WE ARE NOT CARRYING THE HUGE BURDEN OF OUR PAST LIVES!"

HE MAY HAVE BEEN ONLY ABOUT TWENTY-FIVE, BUT HIS FACE BETRAYED SOMEONE WHO SEEMED TO HAVE LIVED AT LEAST TWICE THAT LONG. HOWEVER MUCH SUFFERING ARLO ENDURED, HIS FACE REMAINED THE SAME, AND ONLY THE GLEAM IN HIS EYES COULD BETRAY THE DETERMINATION OF HIS INTENTIONS.

I APPROACHED ARLO WITHOUT HIS SENSING ME. I FELT SOMETHING, DAMN IT, I FELT IT. I KNEW THAT THINGS WEREN'T GOING TO END JUST LIKE THIS - AND THAT SOMEWHERE IN THERE WAS SOMETHING MUCH DEEPER, BEQUEATHED TO US BY FELISTER HIMSELF - A SOUL MIRROR THAT WE ALL HAD TO LOOK INTO!

ARLO SEEMED TO SENSE MY PRESENCE:

- I NEVER REMEMBERED YOUR NAME, HONEST!

- "MY NAME IS ELIZANDER BARNAYNE," I RE-INTRODUCED MYSELF, "BUT APPARENTLY THE EVENING IS GOING TO BE TOO LONG, AND THE MOON LOOKS RATHER OUT OF PLACE AGAINST THIS GLOOMY SKY, DOESN'T IT?"

- "IT IS THE SO-CALLED WOLF MOON," ADDED ARLO, WHO SURPRISED ME WITH HIS PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE. "THE MAN IS WISE AND STRONG, BUT ALSO WILD. ENOUGH TIME PASSED FOR US TO REALIZE THAT NOTHING IN OUR JOURNEY THUS FAR WAS ACCIDENTAL. THE DANGERS REPEATED THEMSELVES, BUT WE WERE CONVINCED ENOUGH THAT WE WERE FOLLOWING THE TRUTH."

SUCH PROFOUND WORDS FROM SUCH A YOUNG MAN DEFINITELY SURPRISED ME.

- "WOLVES TRUST ONLY THE MOON WITH THEIR LONELY SOUL," ARLO CONTINUED THOUGHTFULLY. "BUT WHICH WORLD WILL BE ABLE TO HOUSE IT, THE MATERIAL, THE ASTRAL, OR THE SPIRITUAL? SOME OF THEM WILL WANDER UTTERLY ABANDONED FOREVER!"

I COULDN'T MAKE SENSE OF HIS WORDS, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME I BEGAN TO FEEL AS IF THE PICTURE WAS COMING TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING WAS FALLING INTO PLACE.

- "LIFE CAN RARELY BE CREATED IN AN ASH HEAP,"ARLO CONTINUED, "AND WHO NEEDS IT! IT'S ALL JUST A GIANT MOCKERY."

ZONARA WAS SOMEWHERE IN THE RESERVE. THERE WERE OTHER PATIENTS, AND SOME OF THE INHABITANTS HAD EXPRESSED THE HOPE THAT SHE COULD HELP THEM. IT HAD BECOME PART AND PARCEL OF PEOPLE'S CARE AND SUFFERING.

HERE, IN THIS RESERVE, TIME SEEMED TO HAVE STOOD STILL. AND NO ONE SEEMED TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE. AND MAYBE THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE! I AGREED IN MY SOUL THAT PEOPLE INHERENTLY DISLIKED EACH OTHER, AND IT WAS MORE THAN OBVIOUS. LIFE WAS A DIRTY THING, NOT SOME BEAUTIFUL COLLECTION OF WORDS AND DEFINITIONS. NOT THE FALSE REALITY EVERYONE TRIED TO PUSH ON YOU.

- YOU KNOW I ACTUALLY ISSUED A BLUEBIRD, AND THAT'S ALL THE DEBT COLLECTORS WERE WAITING FOR," ARLO MUTTERED. THEY DESCENDED ON HIM LIKE A HERD OF RABID HYENAS WHO WANTED TO TEAR A PIECE OUT OF HIM AND THE KNOWLEDGE HE HAD.

- "BUT WHY?," SAID I WITH DIFFICULTY, "WHERE IS THE CATCH? YOU TOO COULD HAVE FALLEN VICTIM TO THEIR CRUELTY."

- "TOO MANY SUMMERS HAVE CHANGED, AND NOW I SEE EVERYTHING MUCH MORE CLEARLY," ADDED ARLO. "THE MEANING IN THE WORDS OF A BLUEBIRD. THE MEANING OF LIFE. THE MEANING OF THE "WOLF'S SOUL."

- "BUT THE "WOLF MOON" RISES IN THE WINTER SEASON," I PERSISTED. "AND WE ARRIVED HERE IN MAY OR JUNE. HOW COULD SO MUCH TIME HAVE PASSED? WHAT HAPPENED? HAVE WE NOT FELT THE CHANGE OF THE TIMES!"

- "IT'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT," ARLO LOOKED AT ME WITH UNDISGUISED IRONY, "AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU FEEL IT NO WORSE THAN I DO. AND WHEN THE PUZZLE IS SET, YOU WILL SEE FELISTER'S HERITAGE AND HIS TRUE FACE PERFECTLY. WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO TELL US BEFORE HE DIED. DAMNED SOULS DON'T GET A SECOND CHANCE AND ARE DOOMED TO WANDER ALONE FOREVER!"

WHO KNOWS WHY THIS TIME HIS WORDS DIDN'T SEEM PARTICULARLY FRIGHTENING TO ME, BUT PERFECTLY LOGICAL AND CONNECTED TO MY PERSONAL DESTINY!

ON REFLECTION, IN ALL MY LIFE I HAD NEVER MET ANOTHER WHO GAVE PEOPLE A CHANCE LIKE FELISTER - HIMSELF REJECTED AND RIDICULED, HE HAD SURROUNDED HIMSELF WITH SELF-SERVING FREAKS WHO ONLY SAW IN HIM - NOT SO MUCH A FRIEND OR SPIRITUAL TEACHER, NOT EVEN AN EMPLOYER, BUT A LAST REFUGE IN HIS OWN HOPELESSLY DOOMED LIFE.

- "THE IRONY IS THAT MOST BELIEVE IN NONSENSE AND FOOLISHNESS," ARLO SAID A LITTLE SARCASTICALLY, "AND THE TRUTH IS FAR, FAR TOO SIMPLE..."

COME TO THINK OF IT, THE INDIANS ON THE RESERVATION HAD EVERYTHING THEY NEEDED TO SURVIVE - AT LEAST OSTENSIBLY.

THEY HAD FREE ACCESS TO EDUCATION, THEY HAD MONEY, THEY HAD WELL-REGULATED HOUSING, THEY EVEN HAD THE RIGHT TO GOVERN THEMSELVES BY THEIR OWN LAWS WITHIN THE FEDERAL STATE!

AND YET...

WHAT ELSE WAS NEEDED FOR LIFE TO FLOW NORMALLY? WHAT WAS STILL LACKING! MAYBE JUST A LITTLE...

SINGING SHADOW TURNED TO THE OTHER TRIBE MEMBERS WITH GRATITUDE:

- THANK YOU FOR HOSTING US ALL THESE YEARS WHEN WE NEEDED TO BE HONORED. MY BLUEBIRD SON HAS HELPED YOU ENOUGH. HE LONGED FOR JUSTICE, BUT NOW I SEE THAT LIFE HAS SLIPPED AWAY FROM HIM AND HE IS BUT A PALE SEMBLANCE OF HIS TRUE SELF.

THE HOWLING OF THE COYOTES IN THE DISTANCE SEEMED TO INTENSIFY. MAYBE THEY HADN'T SATIATED THEIR HUNGER. BUT EVEN IF ONE OF THEM DID ENTER THE PRESERVE, WHICH WAS NOT ENTIRELY OUT OF THE QUESTION, WE WOULD SIMPLY SHOOT IT - FOR SUCH WAS THE FATE DESERVED BY ANY FOUL DOG THAT