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My heart was in my mouth l can tell you, what an experience just
as the big hand put me down by the Oboe; l heard a voice in my tin head
say…
‘Thank you little tin man you didn’t let me down, you made me very proud.’
I just know it was my old tramp up there in music heaven.
All the musicians got up and walked out of the orchestra pit to have
their coffee break, and we were all alone.
The beautiful Oboe was very close to me, she said:
‘Penny you were just fantastic how did you learn to play like that? The only
other time we had such excitement was when Larry Adler played his mouth
organ with us, well done my special friend.’
‘The mouth organ wasn’t English! So there!’ said Steinway and the violin
Stradivarius agreed.
The Timpani’s rumbled loud, and then the Brass section shouted out:
‘It doesn’t matter where you came from you divots! Its how you play the
game, and that little tin man is one of the best, so shut your rattling!’
‘Well! I give you he can play, yes he can play, l give you that, quite good l
suppose’ said Steinway the grand piano.
‘Yes! I agree with Steinway’ said Stradivarius ‘he is quite good, but being
made of tin isn’t what we are looking for, he isn’t in our class, so to speak.’
‘Class! Class! Look who’s talking about class, it was only last week you had
a half naked girlie lying all over you trying to sing, for that Simon Cowell, you
pair of high brow non entities!. We know you are the very best at what you
do, and we are proud to have you in the orchestra. However, the way you
have received the little tin man, well you disgust us all, is that right friends?’
All the instruments gave out with a louder discord than before and they all
joined in, every instrument in the orchestra had a say, the woodwinds, the
strings, the percussions and the harpsichords plus Steinways best friends,
the tubular bells and the concert organ.
I was dumb founded, they actually liked my music, and me, and it was all
thanks to the old tramp who taught me so well.
‘Steinway must have read my mind for he added:
‘It’s not just thanks to the old tramp who taught you, you got guts little tin
man, and l lift my lid to you.’
Stradivarius agreed saying:
‘Sorry tin man l was a bit up my own backside, l pluck my strings to you, and
l am glad l was at your first of many performances with the orchestra.
Please forgive us both, I think we are just too highly strung.’
The whole orchestra gave out with the loudest and purest fanfare they could
play to congratulate the little tin man ‘Penny Whistle’
‘Well you are well on your way now’ said Oboe ‘no going back to the gutter
for you Penny, l think you and l will be bed fellows from now on, you
have won the hearts of all the orchestra’ then she paused for a moment
before saying ‘and me!’
Was l in another world or what?
No instrument in the world could feel as good as me.
All of a sudden the musicians streamed back into the auditorium and started
to collect their prise instruments. I wondered what was going to happen to
me, ‘come on you two’ the big hand picked up Oboe and placed her in the
case, then the hand picked me up and put me in the narrow compartment by
her side, ‘yes a perfect fit, l hope you two like each other because from now
on this will be your new home.’ The it all went dark, I wasn’t afraid l had
Oboe with me, and for the first time in my life l felt safe, l had a family.
Lying next to Oboe l wondered what was to happen next, she must have
Read my mind as she said…
‘Penny we are going to play at the Royal Albert Hall, have you been there?’
‘No Oboe, but the old tramp used to talk about it when he was with drink, he
would say, if only, if only l was still playing at the Albert Hall, he would tell
some of the people who dropped money into his bowler hat, but they would
just agree and say yes, yes, yes, and go on there way, l don’t think they ever
believed he played there.’
‘Well Penny, we are definitely going to play there, so you will be able to live it
all over again just for the old tramp, that will be wonderful. All the other
instruments will be playing just for him, l will arrange it, l promise you, we will
bring him back to life, so to speak. He will not be ancient history anymore,
do you know what his real name was?’
‘No princess l never heard him say, shame it would be excellent to know’
‘Well when we get into the hall, we may be able to fine something out about
who he was. The hall, it’s so full of memories, great musicians, wonderful
people, we may find out. There are quite a few mature broken and worn-out
instruments in the belly of the grand hall, we will see them all, they may be
able to help us.’
A big voice said:
‘Ok, you two, let’s have a look at you shall we.’
Then the lid was opened and the light came in to greet us. The big hand
lifted Oboe out and placed her on a stand by a chair:
‘You know Princess Oboe you are so wonderful to play and your sound is
just fantastic, l hope you like your new friend, the little tin man because l
have decided to keep you both together in the same case, yes, you can look
after each other. You fit perfectly in the case together and in a strange way
you compliment each other. I suppose the muso’s in the orchestra will call
you the odd couple.’
He laughed and the big hand picked me up out of the case.
‘You know little tin man, l am very sorry the old tramp died he always
reminded me of a fellow musician, and l am ashamed to say l didn’t stop and
talk to him. In retrospect l should have. He was a wonderful musician down
on his luck, and l didn’t give him the time of day. That my little friend was so
disrespectful from me, to my fellow man.’
The big hand lifted me up to his lips and he kissed me saying…
‘And boy did he make you sing, you and princess Oboe will be good
together you both make great sounds.’
The big hands gave both of us a good clean and then put us back into our
compartments and then it all went dark again.
‘Penny don’t worry we are now going to the Albert Hall, its so exciting, l
always get excited when l’m going to play, how do you feel?’
‘I don’t know which l’m more excited about, being with you Oboe or going to
take part in the concert with the orchestra, life cannot get much better than
this, can it now?’
‘Penny it can and will, believe me you wait until the audience comes in, the
atmosphere will be electric l promise you. Normally we do our rehearsals
and play at the Wigmore Hall and that’s great, but the Albert Hall is more
exceptional than anything you can imagine, l promise you.’
‘The old tramp told me about places like, The Barbican Centre,
Cadogan Hall, Kings Place, Purcell Room and The Queen Elizabeth Hall he
would talk to himself when he was in drink and reminisce about those
places. Is the Royal Albert Hall that much better than them?’
‘Look, Penny, the Albert Hall the most, and the audiences are the very
best, plus we will have you to top that! Penny, just get ready for a high flying
fast ride, l tell you, with respect to your friend the old tramp, the Big Hand is
going to take you into a new diminution! Just enjoy everything! This is going
to be your new life and we will be together! Forever!’
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Publication Date: 04-01-2010

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