Wolverton - Julie Steimle (fb2 epub reader .TXT) 📗

against him.

Turning his eyes down, he saw Daisy. Her face was just inches from his. A little blood from the hunt before was on her chin and near her mouth, but she looked so lovely lying there. So at peace, and satisfied.

He tried to sit up, but her bodyweight held him down. She was lying on part of his chest, her bare arms cradling around his torso as she slept, one of his arms around her. Rick shifted a leg, feeling where they were positioned. One was under her. The other free.

Bare skin was embracing bare skin.

Rick set a hand to his head, his fingers shaking as this was not how he had expected to find himself in the morning. What had he done?

He tried to remember the night before, but honestly it was one wolfy blur. He had abandoned all semblance of humanity and embraced the wolf. And looking down at Daisy’s beautiful pale contours, he was sure he had embraced more than just the wolf.

So stupid.

Why had he been so stupid? Kurt had even warned him, or tried to. Daisy had interrupted the boy before he could get out that possibly he was at risk at making the biggest mistake of his life.

Glancing down at Daisy, trying not to wake her as she looked so innocently sweet lying there in his arms, holding onto him as if she trusted him with all her heart, Rick tried harder to recall the night before. They had left the bonfire. He had led the hunt. They had made the kill. And it had been exhilarating. But what happened after that? He closed his eyes trying to picture it. Taking in another breath, also breathing in her wonderful scent, he remembered. He had smelled her. And they broke away from the frolickers in the grass. It had been a game, he thought. Him chasing her. Her dodging him. The way she flicked her tail. A wolfy game, like tag. And yet he remembered how overpowering her scent was. And how he had felt. And what he did.

What they did.

When did they become human again? Sometime in the middle of their embrace? He opened his eyes and stared at the sky. Was it worse if it happened also while they were human? Or was it more of the same thing? Animal.

He felt wretched. In the passion of the moment, he had lost control. What the French had been unable to make him do, he had done here.

Daisy emitted a soft cry which sounded a bit like a yawn. She blinked open her eyes and gazed up at him. She smiled. Then she snuggled closer.

Those hormonal chills ran through his body. Her smell was intoxicating. If he didn’t break apart from her soon, they might end up doing it all over again.

Rick sat up, gently trying to move her off his lap.

Daisy rose into sitting positon and stretched her arms.

He averted his eyes from the open view of her bare torso. “Um… Daisy… we have to talk.”

She leaned up against him and kissed him gently on the lips, then with more pressure. Overwhelmed by her scent, by her touch, he kissed her back. The taste of her lips and the smell of her sweat drew him into another wave of passion. Embracing her, wanting to devour her, they rolled down into the grass. Passionately making out, the wolf desire in him took over—until something in his brain shouted, ‘Stop now!’

He jerked back, forcibly regaining control of his faculties. Panting heavily, flushing with shame, he apologized. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Daisy sat up, looking confused, winded, and admittedly disappointed. Yet she sighed, seeing how he was feeling. She reached out with her hand. “It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok,” Rick protested, then tried to sit in a way that made him feel less naked. “You didn’t want a one night stand and neither did I. And a repeat is not a good idea.”

She sighed, looking to the ground, not quite ashamed nor even sad that she had messed up and done something that might derail what she had planned for her future. She bit her lip, peeked up at Rick then said, “I’m sorry. I should have realized… You and the moon. You really don’t have control of yourself when you are all wolf, do you?”

Rick groaned, clutching his hair.

She scooted over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Hey. It’s ok. I’m not mad. And though I didn’t intend to have sex with you last night, I don’t blame you. I got caught up in the moon too. I just thought…” She blushed, rubbing his arm, “…with the way you were acting that you liked me.”

He looked over at her. “I do like you. But, we hardly know each other. I mean after one day—”

“I know, crazy.” Daisy shook her head, breathing in while weakly laughing. “In the heat of the moment…” She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. “It was just that last night was so amazing, I thought…” She shook her head.

Amazing? Really? He was…

But Rick shook that out of his head immediately. He didn’t need to entertain that thought. Fact was, he most likely got her pregnant, and that was a bad thing for them both.

“Eve is going to kill me,” he muttered.

Daisy lifted her head. “Eve?” Jealousy was in her voice.

“A very good friend with very high morals,” Rick muttered, “who happens to be an extremely dangerous demon.”

Daisy pulled back. “Demon? You can’t be serious.”

But Rick nodded, then lifted his eyes higher so he would not see her bare chest. “Look, Daisy, last night was a big mistake. You could be pregnant.”

Groaning again, Rick grabbed his hair again, rocking with clenched teeth.

“Oh, it’s all right.” Daisy rocked with him. Her smell was as delicious as ever, tempting him.

He pulled back, shaking his head. “No.” He hopped to his feet. “No.” He stepped back from her. “No.”

Daisy stared up at him. “Where are you going?”

Shaking his head, Rick retreated from the sweet tempting thing that was Daisy MacTire. Everything about her made him want to throw all sense away and embrace hedonistic passion with her in the grass for as long as he could.

But that wasn’t reality.  

Reality was that he was Howard Richard Deacon the Third. He was not someone who could afford to toss off responsibility for even a minute, though he had the night before. In embracing the wolf and casting off humanity, he also had cast off all common sense—such as the fact that everything had its consequences. And common sense told him it was stupid to follow passion and abandon his responsibilities.

“I can’t,” Rick said to her. And she shrank down into a wolf, running off toward the town.

 

Rick found his clothes in the lodge where he had left them (including the pants which had been taken from him which contained his wallet), and dressed quickly. Not all the clothing from the others was gone, but a lot were. He was mentally kicking himself for losing control. The French were incredibly savvy, but this pack had succeeded in getting what they wanted. And Rick hated himself for it.

He shouldn’t have joined the hunt.

But as he went over the evening in his mind, he wondered what he ought to have done. Hunted on his own?

Being honest with himself, Rick would have hated that. The hunt itself was mind-blowingly the best thing ever. Never had he felt so whole before. Never had he ever been swept up into anything before like that. But in thinking on that, he realized that was the problem. Humans couldn’t let themselves get swept up into things. That was the difference between being human and being animal. Animals lived by instinct, passion, and even by the needs of the pack. Humans lived by thought. And whenever humans acted like a pack—or in more modern terms, a mob—dangerous things happened. Bad things happened. He had never understood it before now. Mob thinking was mindless animal thinking. Mobs were not civilized. And neither were packs.

Rick snuck from the lodge over to Kurt’s house. He hoped no one saw him. Just as he was about to knock on the door, it opened.

Mrs. Blithe stood there. 

Then she hugged him. “Oh, you’re all right.”

Dazed, Rick nodded. “I’m fine.”

But then he realized that was a lie. He wasn’t fine. He wanted help. He needed help. He started to cry.

“Oh!” Mrs. Blithe pulled him into the house. “Come in. What happened?”

Clenching his hair, Rick shook his head. “I…”

He didn’t know what to say. It was like confessing to his mother all the bad things he had ever done. Right now he wished for his mother.

“I see.” She pulled him to the couch and made him sit down. Then she went and brought him some water. Gratefully, he sipped it, wondering what in the world could he do.

After a while, Rick lifted his eyes to her and said, “I am so ashamed.”

Nodding, she smiled sadly at him. “I can see that. Were you hurt at all?”

“Physically?” Rick shook his head to say ‘no’. “Mentally, spiritually, yes. I made a big mistake.”

She nodded.

“What am I going to do?” He gazed at her for help.

Nodding, she scooted near him and whispered, “You should leave here.”

Rick stared.

“I know you feel safe among the wolves,” she said. “But you really aren’t.”

He stared more. “Talk to me. Please explain.”

“Morning mother!” Kurt hopped down the stairs then caught sight of Rick. Laughing, he then strode to the breakfast table. “Morning! How was your night?” He raised his eyebrows with a leering grin.

Rick shot him a dirty look.

His mother quickly got up and immediately went to work finishing breakfast. She was out the door in a snap, probably to pick tomatoes or strawberries.

Kurt hoped over to Rick who was sitting there, still dazed over what he had done. Kurt plopped next to him on the couch. “So, how was it?”

Rick looked away, annoyed.

“Come on.” Kurt nudged him in the side. “You can tell me. You went off with her for pity’s sake.”

Groaning, Rick stood up. He didn’t have anywhere to go though. And he really wanted to talk with Mrs. Blithe. She seemed to have something important to say.

“It isn’t exactly a secret, you know,” Kurt added.

Rick stared at him. “What do you mean?”

“You were totally whipped last night,” Kurt replied, backing up in case Rick took a swipe at him.

But Rick just stared back, realizing that was entirely true. The night before he was in a weird state of mind. Of course he followed Daisy into grasses. And of course they followed the way of nature. And of course everyone let them… even though when his mind had been straight he had declared he didn’t want that kind of thing.

How did he end up like that?

“Kurt,” Mrs. Blithe said when she came into the house, “After breakfast I need you to go to Mr. Tracker’s and get some more eggs. We are down to two and your father will want some for his lunch tomorrow.”

Kurt nodded. He quickly went to the table and filled up his plate. The other two children weren’t there yet. They came down later with their father who was a large man with a broad chest like a lumberjack, and dark shaggy hair. Susi rubbed her eyes and staggered over the floor and rug with little Luko right on her heels, back in that large tee shirt, which apparently he wore all the time. Mr. Blithe’s amber eyes smiled upon Rick when he saw him.

“Come have breakfast with us,” Mrs. Blithe said. Her eyes were saying they could talk later.

Nodding, Rick obeyed and sat down to eat.

“So, you’re the young wolf,” Mr. Blithe said, plucking up some bacon and eggs and putting them on his plate. “How was the hunt?”

“The hunt?” Rick leaned back in his seat, trying to think only about the hunt. “Amazing. I… uh, words really can’t express…”

Mr. Blithe chuckled, nodding. “I felt the same way when