Distorted Mirrors - Sarah Teare (free novel reading sites .TXT) 📗

 The wind that whipped my hair about my face and bit my cheeks and nose with cold was no longer giving me breath, but taking it away.  the snow began to work its way through my many layers, soaking my skirt.  I feared that the tears I cried would  freeze on my face.  there was nothing I could do to stop them.  they kept flowing.  

I don't know how long I wailed and wept until I fel asleep holding her, in the soulless snow.  The dark trees and shadows of the forest seemed to remind me of my grief.  Giant, overbearing, so much of it. I wasn't ready to be alive while she was dead.

 

Chapter One

When I woke up, I was back in the castle.  Compared to my last feeling of cold, the warmth of a usually cold castle seemed almost too much. At first, I didn't want to move, I felt so nice. Then, I remembered everything that had previously happened.  I panicked.  My father would kill me for what had happened.  I would be hung for what I did, for what mother had done.   I looked over and saw my nurse sitting in the chair, rocking back and forth.  She was knitting, as she always was when she was stressed.   I saw a little knot forming between her eyebrows, showing further how anxious she was.  

"How long have I been asleep?"  I asked, fearful of what her answer might have been.  I could see that it was night, but I didn't know how many nights had already passed since the night in the snow.  

Without looking up from her work, she answered with a deceiving stillness in her voice, "Two nights have already passed since they brought you back.  YOu gave me quite a nasty shock.  You were colder than a corpse.  I thought... well, for a moment, I thought that, t-that you m-m-might have been dead,"  she said as her eyes welled up with fear.  

I folded back the covers ready to go hug her when she interupted me.  "No, you are not strong enough to be out of bed yet,"  she said.  Then, seeing my worry for her she continued, "I'll be alright little miss.  Don't worry about me.  Worry about yourself for now."  with that, she sent me a warm smile, and yet I knew that it was forced.  With that, she returned to her knitting and I picked up the book on my nightstand.  It was a story about one of my mother's great grandmothers who went on journeys to hunt dragons when she was young.  The site of the cover, which had a portrait of my grandmother who looked quite a lot like my mother, made my heart ache and my eyes cry.  How would I begin to live without her.  She was always there, when my father had been violent, and when I felt most alone.   The thought of her and heartache began to move within my body.  It moved upwards from my heart, all the way up to my eyes, making them overflow with tears.  This wasn't supposed to happen.  Even in my worst dreams, I had always had my mother.  I wanted to wake up,  she'd be sitting by me in the garden.  I never woke up though.  I was stuck in this nightmare.  Finally, after what felt like an eternity of pain, I fell asleep.

In my dreams,  I was back in the snow.  However, I wasn't in my body.  I was outside of it.  I was behind my mother a ways,  I saw, in my hand, a bow and arrow.  I tried to keep myself from pulling it up and firing.  I was not in control.  It was as though someone was controlling me.  I was only a puppet with strings always attached to me.  I saw the arrow embed itself in her flesh, sinking in, right to her heart.  I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but all I did was walk away.  I walked away from the women I loved most in the world.  

I woke up in a cold sweat.  The nurse was by my bed, wiping my brow.  "Are you alright little miss?"  she asked, a worried look across her brow.

"I'm fine,  how long must I wait until I can get out of bed?"  I asked, anxious to get away from here.  I wanted to run away, forget who I was.  Forget what had happened to me.  Become an entirely new person. 

"I think that you need at least one more day still.  You've barely been asleep an hour since you last asked."  With that, my nurse went out of the room.  Leaving my all alone.  

When I was sure that she was gone, I quickly got out of bed and went to my dresser.  I opened the top drawer, where all of my jewelry was kept.  I looked around, until I found it.  My mother's locket.  She had it as a girl, her childhood sweetheart had given it to her for her birthday.  It was simple, and yet elegant.  My only memento of her.  It opened on a portrait of her as a young woman, who looked remarkably like me.  She had the same long black curly hair, and dimpled cheeks.  I heard my nurse come back, so I hurried and went back to my bed, pulling the locket over my head.  The metal felt cold on my chest, like the pain I felt.  Now, my nightmare would be held at bay, and I could sleep peacefully.

Chapter Two

I was awoken by a bright light shining in through the window.  I opened my eyes to see that it was now morning, and the sun was shining.  The sun in my heart, however, did not shine.  It only weighed me down.  I looked up to see my nurse looking down at me.

"Today's the funeral," she said, without even the smallest sign of emotion.  She helped me get dressed in a long, thick, itchy black dress.  At least it would keep me warm in the cold.  She placed a small tiara on my head, but when she was about to pull my veil over my head, she stopped.  I saw her look at my chest, and the look of alarm at the silver locket.  She grabbed it in her hand, and yanked it off of my neck.

"Hey!  That was my mother's! Give it back!"  I yelled at her as she put it down her dress.

"It's for the best, my dear.  Last night, your father burned all of your mother's belongings in a large bonfire,  he doesn't want anything to remind the subjects of her.  I'm keeping it during the funeral, so he doesn't see it.  I'll give it back to you when it's all over,"  she said, pushing me through the door.  I didn't like it, I wanted it there to comfort me, but I knew it was for the best.

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Publication Date: 07-13-2014

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