A Sword Of Wrath, Book I - K. E. MacLeod (nonfiction book recommendations .TXT) 📗

said, nodding quietly in agreement. "I'll give you that, I will give you that."

They continued on in silence for a bit longer until she asked, "So, how do you... live with your regrets?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you have them, how do you get rid of them?"

"Hmmm," he narrowed his eyes as he pondered the question, "I don't think you do ever get rid of them, not really. All you can do is just try not to make the same choices again, but the regret is always there... rearing its ugly head." He smiled again, "Sometimes when you least expect it."

She was staring at him, unblinkingly, "I have learned that it is better in life to build up a resistance to such feelings, to treat them the same way that I've learned to tolerate poisons and venoms. You just... become numb, on the inside."

Timonus paused his steps, "Hannah, that's never a good way for a young lady to be-"

She grew slightly agitated with his constant references to her youth, "Then, tell me, how do you live with lives you've taken?"

"Well, I," he shook his head, "I am a soldier-"

"And you've never killed anyone innocent? Hurt anyone you regret?"

"Well, maybe-"

"Then how do you handle that?"

"I," he looked away momentarily, then back at her, "try not to think of such things."

She nodded slowly, "Because becoming numb to pain is how you survive. It's how you became such a brave soldier and attained the highest rank in the land."

"Listen, child, you've misunderstood me-"

"No, I understand you quite well and," her words became slightly more acidic as her temper rose at being called a child again, "I'm envious, in a way. I wish I could dispose of the innocent, cast them aside and feel nothing as you do."

Timonus grabbed her arm, "Listen, I don't know where you've suddenly gotten this idea about me but wherever it's come from, it's not true-"

"Then, tell me, Legate, what of your sons? What ages are they?"

His eyes narrowed again, this time in anger, "What do they have to do with anything?"

"Exactly! You left them, I'm sure, at very young ages! And for what? So you could go around the world and live out your little fantasy of being a hero, when all you were really doing was shivering impudently in the snow or visiting the palace brothels!"

Timonus face flushed red as he grit his teeth, "There are men who have suffered gravely for saying a lot less to me."

"And what would you do to me? Kill me? Would I be a regret to you then? Or would you just not think about me as you do the others?"

He let go of her arm and turned away, walking a few steps ahead as he took several deep breaths to calm himself down. It had been many years since anyone had been brave enough to address him so carelessly; insubordination and questioning of authority had no place in the military and therefore, had no place in his life, either.

Where had her sudden lashing out at him come from? The day before, when he had first met her, she seemed so confident that she could play her sorceress games with him but after their close brush with death against the Giants, her facade had become more and more cracked. Even as she stood upon the path with all of her paint washed away in the rain, she appeared to Timonus to be nothing more than an insecure, frightened young girl.

For the next hour and a half, each lost in their own thoughts, they walked in silence until the sun was in its high noon position and the clouds had begun to thin out a bit. As it did, their passage took on another incline and the jagged rocks that had lined their path grew larger and smoother and they were able to see more green grass growing up from the ground.

Timonus' anger had only slightly abated as he barked over his shoulder towards Hannah, "We should stop and eat something soon to keep up our strength for the rest of the journey.”

"Yes," she spoke reluctantly, "...I suppose we should. I do have some left over rabbit."

"Enough for us both?"

She nodded, "It's not a lot but it's enough to keep us going. I didn't expect we would need it so soon." She pulled out a few of the pieces she had wrapped in the dried mushroom strips and gave him some.

"Thank you," he said awkwardly as he took it from her.

They paused before one of the larger boulders on the side of the path and ate their meal, discarding the bones along the ground.

Timonus cleared his throat after a moment as he looked out over the horizon, "I would never harm you, by the way."

"I'm sorry?" The statement had taken her by genuine surprise.

"You... you asked earlier, if I'd make you suffer, turn you into a regret. No, no I wouldn't. I admit I was suspicious of you yesterday, when I first arrived at the Caves but... listen, Hannah," he looked at her, "I wasn't lying when I said that I admired you. I really do wish I could have been as half as resilient as you when I was your age."

The venefica’s face changed and she looked as if she were about to cry, "Please don't say such things to me."

Timonus looked at her strangely, "What do you mean?"

"It's just that... I'm not really used to praise of any sort. The veneficas do not progress with praise, you see and-"

He nodded, "Ah, I'm sorry then. I understand." He laughed, "My wife tells me the opposite for our sons, that I don't praise them enough."

She finished her portion of the leftover rabbit, "When did you meet your wife? If-if you don't mind me asking."

"No, I don't mind. I guess it was almost two decades ago. Hard to believe," he looked wistful.

"What district do you come from?"

He shrugged, "I currently live in the Palace, though my family live in the Margarite District."

"Is that where you're from?"

"Oh no," Timonus chuckled, "I come from a town called Caninia originally, in the North of Lycania. It wasn't until I joined the legionaries that I ever came to Odalia - and even then I lived in the barracks in the Palace."

"Did you ever visit the Ala District?"

He stepped away from the boulder, giving her a look, "That is something a gentleman never speaks of."

"I think you've forgotten that I'm quite acquainted with what goes on there."

"Maybe but I don't feel comfortable discussing it with you. We need to move forward."

She nodded.

A few moments later, he asked as they began to walk again, "What will you do in Feronia?"

"I, uhm, I have tests that I can use to evaluate for root blight and such."

"Oh? That must be fascinating. You know," he looked back at her, "I've always thought that the veneficas were all about sorcery and superstition but you seem to have a pretty grounded view of the world around you."

She smiled, "I try to. I've always been curious about how things work." But, as they approached another incline, this one steeper, with large mounds of grassy earth on either side, her smiled suddenly disappeared. "Legate?"

"Yes?"

"I-I think we should stop here. Let's just rest for awhile."

"Why? Are you ill?"

"No, it's just-"

He laughed, "We're making great time, let's just keep going."

Timonus turned away and began to walk forward again but she reached out and grasped his arm, her voice full of alarm, "No! Don't!"

"What-"

"Let's turn back!"

"Why?"

"I-I know another way-"

"Another w-? Are you mad?"

"No, it's just-"

"Halt, travelers!"

Timonus turned at the sound of a new voice in his ears and saw a young man twirling a dagger in his hand and pacing at the top of the incline. It was as if he had suddenly and mysteriously appeared before them without so much as a whisper, from out of the very air itself.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'Halt.'" The young man was dressed in a light-colored linen shirt, red vest and tan breeches with simple brown leather boots.

The Legate placed his hand on top of his sword and stepped protectively in front of the venefica. "I don't know what your intentions are, boy, but you should know we are on official business of the Emperor. Let us go peacefully and you will not be harmed."

The young man laughed with disbelief, "Harmed? Really?" He put his fingers to his lips and gave a short whistle. As he did, several other young men and women, dressed similarly as he, stood up from the surrounding rocks, all armed with bows and arrows that were notched and ready to fire at a moment's notice. "As you can see, I don't think I'll be harmed much whether I let you go or not."

Timonus face grew grim, "Alright, what do you want, then? Money? Jewels? I've neither."

"No, Legate. What we want," the young man lifted his dagger and pointed it in his direction, "is you."

Timonus drew his sword as the stranger began to walk towards them.

"No, stop!" the venefica stepped in front of the Legate.

The young man glared, "Move aside, Moriana."

"No. I agreed to lead him here but I did not agree to him being harmed."

He leaned into her and spoke softly, "I'm not going to harm him, only mess him up a bit."

"No, Julian."

Timonus looked from one to the other, a confused expression upon his face, "What's going on here? Tell me what this is about!"

"We are members of the Lupa Faction," the young man bowed. "A group of rebels I guess you could say, from the Ala District that are tired of your Emperor murdering innocent people and treating us like scum. A lot of us have lost loved ones to his tyranny and we're determined to see an end to his reign."

"That has little to do with me, boy, the Emperor makes his own laws."

"Ah, but you enforce them. So, your lovely accomplice here made a deal to turn you over to us - but she's late," he looked at her, "very late."

"We were attacked by the Gigantes."

The young man looked concerned for a moment, "And you survived?"

"Well, we... hid, but they took our horses and," she looked away a moment, "ate them."

A disgusted look crossed the young man's face, "Well, that explains why you're on foot. Camilla, get Moriana a horse please." His face softened, "I'm glad you're safe."

"Hannah?" The Legate finally spoke.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Legate. It has to be done."

"But what has to be done?"

"These people," she began to confess, "I've... sold you to them."

A long and lean young woman, seemingly of N'bari descent, led a horse to the venefica and presented her with a small leather bag that jingled as if it had coins in it.

Timonus stared at the transaction, stunned by what he saw, "What have you done, girl?"

She mounted the horse, "I'm sorry, Legate." Hannah stared at the ground beside him, unable to meet his eyes, "But, I told you, I am a survivor. I will do whatever it takes. Julian," she glanced at the young man, "see that he is not harmed and remember your promise to me." She turned and looked at last upon Timonus' face, "Goodbye, Legate. I told you, it is better to inure yourself to pain and... regret. I do hope you will not think to ill of me in the future for now I will only think warmly of you." Her gaze lingered on his face a moment before she turned the horse and galloped back down the same path that they had just arrived from.

"Legate," Julian addressed Timonus, "drop your sword."

"I will do no-"

Julian pushed his dagger against the hollow of Timonus' throat, "You must know that I break promises all the time and I won't hesitate to do it at this moment as well."

"I will die for my Emperor!"

"No," he shook his head, "you won't because your Emperor is a piece of cowardly worm dirt... as are you."

The expression that crossed Timonus' face showed a man struggling inside with his own mortality as well