Zevolution - A.J. Cole (chapter books to read to 5 year olds .txt) 📗

it had been, I – there are no words. Even as a live human, a man shouldn’t try to get himself into a bikini under the best of circumstances. The top part wasn’t so bad, was in fact a little funny, but the skimpy bottom part? Oh, gross to the tenth power!

“Need different!” I said before realizing I was actually answering this thing.

The zombie did something with its mouth that on a live person could have passed for a smirk and looked down at itself. “Bad?”

Was I for real having a conversation about fashion with a freaking zombie? I swallowed and nodded. “Bad. Need suit.”

Talking Zombie groaned. “Bad hot.”

“Then maybe a pair of shorts. Guy shorts.” Hey, we were in a clothing store, after all.

“Guy good?”

So far I’d been able to follow the rudimentary form of speech, but this one had me flummoxed. Was he asking if it was good to be a guy? Or maybe if guy clothes were good. Who knew? “Guy you. Guy shorts good. Good you.” There. That seemed to cover everything. And believe me, there was a lot that needed covering.

“Stay. Guy shorts now. You food then.”

I blinked. The doggone thing was telling me to wait while it changed into something more appropriate, so when it got back it could use me for its meal. Huh. And here I thought I’d had a positive breakthrough. “Go. Shorts.”

“Stay?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to lie, although I couldn’t have told you why I thought that mattered.

“Good.”

Guess it worked. Talking Zombie stumbled off in search of man shorts, and I sneaked away as fast as my new boots would let me without making a lot of noise. As I went, I realized Chet and his entourage had long since left the store; it occurred to me that they would have found my conversation with, as they put it, “the Z,” an educational experience. Maybe.

By the time I got back to my attic, the realization of what had happened finally sank in and I began to shake. I ate a Twinkie (they weren’t joking about the shelf life of those things) and had some water, and soon began to calm down. As I drifted off to sleep later, I admitted that things were indeed changing, but was far from sure if these changes would be for the better – or the worse.

Imprint

Publication Date: 01-14-2016

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