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now!" "He's kinda my mate..." "Oh... and what did he do?" "He touched me... I didn't approve of this" "oh I see" "yes" i was still crying. Alex entered my room. 'Damn he's sexy' my wolf said. 'Omg he is so sexy you're right' 'mine! Mine!' sadly that wasn't my wolf it was me. "Alex you have upset Alexia Now" "I'm sorry for being arrogant" "Well going to go and see yous to sort this out" she left the room with the door shut. "MINE!" CRAP did i really say that!? he lost it and pushed me against the wall roughly. i let out a small moan. "MINE!!" he yelled back. within a few minutes we were makingout and then he had to push me on my bed and kept kissing me. he got up and was about to leave. "What were are you going?" "to my room just proved something" "and that is...?" "You're a slut." i felt like he had riped out my heart. "I'm No Slut!" "yes you are" he walked towards me and i sat up. He pushed me off my own bed and stood around me. "SLUT" my eyes starting watering. "But i thought we were mates" "we are but your just an ugly slut and i hate you!" I felt pain coming for my heart it ached. my wolf was hurt to. he grabbed my hand pulled me up. "Why don't you just kill yourself so i don't have to see your UGLY FACE" wow did he really say that. 'he could just be having issues or problems' my wolf said. i wished that were true. "do you really mean that?" "YES" he pushed me to the floor. Most people would just tell there parents but ive always been abused so i dont know how to react to this. "Hurt me more i deserve it" Okay that probably sounded attention seeking but its how i felt. "FUCK" "what?" he started covering his hands ears as if something was hurting him. he ran out of the room. "Alex are you oka-"he had left before i could finish what i was saying. i crawled up in a ball and cried my heart out. later my mum came to my room. "Sweety Dinners- whats wrong?!" "boys... boys is just whats wrong" "what did he do that was so bad?" "IT DOESNT MATTER" i saw my window and took my chance to climb down it. i ran to my best friends house. I just climbed up her window and scared the crap out of her. "woah what the hell Alexia" "Sorry i had to get out" "What about your step mum?" "Turns out i actually have real parents. I'm and werewolf and Alex is my mate" "Oh my god you serious" "yep" "So why arent you being all cuddly with him?" "He called me a slut and told me to kill myself" "Wow harsh" "yep i couldnt stop crying" i started crying all over again. she came out and gave me a hug. "Shh its gonna be okay" "why would he even say that?!" "He could be having issues and he shouldn't like me back either way I'm a freak i already hate myself as it is and my birthday at that to" every year i cry on my birthday. "why do you hate yourself?" "I just dont.. think i have much of a purpose in this world" Just then someone appears through the window growling. "Grrrr" "is that you Alex?" It was him and then he tackled me to the ground. "Grr" "What did i do?" "Bitch please you owe me something" "That is?" "WE STILL HAVE TO MATE" "so after we mate you'll leave me?" "Yeah" "and i dont have a choice do i?" "WHAT THE HELL ALEX LEAVE ALEXIA ALONE" "NO. IM NOT LEAVING TILL I GET HER VIRGINITY" "are you serious?!" "So you're gonna rape me?" he looked like he was getting angry really angry. he ripped my clothes off. "GRRR" "No you cant do that to her!!!" the thing is Jamies parents were out on a business trip and Alex decided to break every phone around the house. "What am i going to Alexia?!" "just let him do it... i dont care anymore" "Are you sure about this?!" "yep" truth is i really did care. my best friend didn't really want to leave but she did anyway and shut the door. Alex threw me on the bed and ripped his clothes off. "No please don't why must you do this?!" "if i dont... we die" "are you being serious? is this a joke?" "no im not joking trust me i think you with enjoy this" then he winked at me. Was he being serious? like come on sure hes my werewolf mate but i just met him. my whole life has been a lie and i only just found out the truth not long ago. So here i was standing naked and very uncomfortable infront of him. my checks went red and well things got alittle weird after that.

 

Did That Just Really Happen?

 Wait did that really just happen did i just lose my virginity to some guy i barely knew. Wow this day just got crazier. i ended up fainted because everything was to overwhelming for me. I just couldn't handle it all. my anxiety took over, it was the cause for me fainting. I woke up later naked still in sheets i laid with Alex. I sat up and he was just laying close to me and watching me. My panic attack was coming in motion i couldnt handle these emotions it was to hard for me. i felt like i couldn't breathe, whats the point of living if i cant breathe? i thought to myself. I was scared and afraid. I just didn't know what to do. I got out of the bed and put my clothes on.  Why was this happening to me. Like why couldnt i just live a normal life. I felt bad for what i just did. i barely knew the guy, i just met him. Why did i even get myself into this mess? he looked over at me. "are you okay?" i just looked at him. i couldnt handle the emotions that were running through my body. My hormones were outta control. It was a very strange day. i didnt know how to comprehend it all. One minute im slaving away with my grades. the next minute im living with my parents, hooksup with the hottest guy ive laid eyes on turns out hes my mate. All these thoughts running through my mind. "Alexia are you okay!" "NO IM NOT OKAY" i quicky put my clothes on before running out of the room and keep running till i made it home. i couldnt believe i actually ran that far. my muscles were sore for what just happened with me and Alex. i opened the front door and my mum looks at me. "is everything okay?" i didnt know what to say. i was about to break any moment. i ran up stairs and shut the door and locked myself in there. i needed to think. i need space. my inner wolf was happy with what i did with Alex but i felt so bad you would think i would just happy with what i just did but i didnt. I wasnt even ready. i went to my closest and hid in there of course they would find me but i lost it. i started breathing heavily. i was hugging my legs rocking back and forward trying to take everything in but it was too much. All the pain i had encountered from my step mum and my whole ive been living was a lie. All the pain i had been through high school of the non-stop bullies that had walked all over me and abused me for my differences. i just didnt understand why someone like me who had not done anything wrong. i just started crying, i felt like i couldnt breathe. I dont understand why people look down at people who cut themselves im not a cutter. but i understand why someone would even result to that. of course it does nothing for the person. but someone who is undergoing the amount of pain for whatever of reason. i understand because sometimes the pain inside hurts too much and it gets tiring from feeling the same emotions so it would better to feel the burning sensation felt from the bleeds and open wounds. They arent cuts they are battle wounds. when i see someone in pain who does this i dont think oh look another cutter. They are still there they are only fighting with themselves and each time they are still alive from each battle. its a postive way of looking at it. i just thought about it. I understood. I felt so empty i couldnt handle the emotions. i screamed at the top of my lungs. my panic attacks are hard to take in. i feel like im fighting with myself on the inside and all these emotions just dont want to leave. Eventually i scream on the inside and it comes out. i let out everything. i had let it bottle up inside to long. i got out of my closest and just laid on the floor crawled up in a ball. i heard the window open. It was Alex. i felt so emotionally worn out. i also had physical pain from what me and alex did. He saw me on the floor. he knew something was up. "you arent okay" he came down on his knees before picking me up and carrying me. "Shh its okay beautiful i got you everythings okay"  i just looked at him and wanted hugs. "mmm" "What?"  he was holding me in bridal style so i just went to the floor before hugging him but wrapping my legs around his waist. hugging him tightly. "its okay beautiful i got you" his words soothed my heart i felt complete even tho that pain was causing me grief somehow it just settled me down. He unlocked the door and walked down stairs carrying me. My mum looked at  him i coudlnt see her i just knew she was talking to him. "Is she okay? i heard noises" "shes okay now" "Okay good i dont want to see my little girl crying" i think i fell asleep in his arms because later i woke up on my bed cuddling beside him.

What Happens Next?
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