A Story Becoming Reality - Patricia Galindez (the best books to read txt) 📗

see the guilt in your eyes and the feeling of them being worthless. They love to see you vulnerable and weak. Plus, when you want to explain yourself for something to them to at least understand your situation better like some would want, but not true.

There was once a time in my Freshman year when I had to do this online thing for my English class and had to finish as soon as I get home. So I was gonna do that, but my mom forgot to pay for the computer that day, and the library was already closed, so in result, I couldn't do the assignment that day. The next day I tried to explain my situation, but my teacher said no excuses even though I didn't even get to finish my explanation. After that he waved me off, not even hearing me out. Can't the schools with teachers get anymore heartless?

With one more look, she collected everyone's work, and returned to her desk. This feeling of guilt, sadness, and anger is starting to fill me up that I can't keep it inside any longer. So, I guess I might need another emotional release right now. Taking my emergency thumbtack from my backpack and stuffing it in my pocket, I raised my hand.

“Yes, Leah, what do you need?” asked Ms. Fernandez.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” I asked without making eye contact. I hardly make eye contact with people, especially with adults, it makes things awkward for me, and plus eyes are windows to you soul, which I don't want people to see unless I trust them.

“Fine, take the pass.” I got up and took the pass.

As soon as I went through the door, I ran to the bathroom. I went to the big stall and locked the door. Taking the thumbtack from my pocket, I dragged it across my arm. That one was for my stupidity. I did another for being worthless. Another for being a waste of life. Another for hatred on myself. And one more for the people causing me pain. Five scratches were starting to show it's red color, but it was a good thing I have my jacket to hide them. Even though I felt a release of my emotions, I wasn't satisfied yet. I still felt anger and hate. I felt like I needed to punch something, and that's what I did. I lifted my fist, and punched the wall. I didn't care if my hand hurt, that's what I really needed. Physical pain.

At times when I'm angry, I feel violent; I didn't care who I hurt. As if you're not in control of your mind or body. I always had this side of violence that rarely anyone sees since I was little. It was elementary when this whole thing started. I was this innocent naïve little girl who did everything I was suppose to do and never got in trouble. Though, that was just the beginning.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


7 Years Ago

Mom had dropped me off at school, but I couldn't stop thinking of how I forgot to do my homework last night for the first time. I told my mom if it was a bad thing that I forgot, and she said it's okay to forget and try to remember next time. I was filled with relief when I heard that, so I have nothing to worry about.

I entered my class and took my seat in the group table. Everyone started talking to one another, but usually no one would want to talk with the quiet girl.

“Alright, I need everyone to take their homework out for me to pick it up,” announced the teacher.

When everyone took out their homework, she came around to pick up our work. I see that the whole class did theirs, and I felt kind of embarrassed that I’m the only one who forgot.

She got to me now , then saw I didn't have my homework.

“Leah, where's your assignment that I gave you yesterday?” she asked.

Being the shy girl I only whispered, “I forgot to do it last night. I was planning on doing it, but something came up.”

It didn't even look like she was listening to my excuse. That actually got me upset, because I wanted to at least explain myself before she thought this could be a regular thing now. The only thing I noticed is that she was giving me this look of disbelief and disappointment, which was the first time I've seen a teacher give me since I'm always a good student. This look was giving me some bad feelings inside.

“I strictly told everyone to do the work and you forgot to do it? This was very important, Leah, which is why I told everyone countless times to do it. I think for your irresponsibility you deserve a detention.” She then walked away.

I really couldn't believe she would do that just because I forgot to do my homework. I always thought she was a caring teacher, and this wasn't an attitude of caring. This actually makes me angry right now, and even more anger that I got my first detention because of this. The feeling of anger seems to be growing like a fire inside me.

“You so deserved it you know?” said the girl that was sitting beside me. I turned to her with a questionable look on my face.

“Yeah that's right, you deserved it. I mean it's your fault. You're so st -” she kept telling me how it's my fault, how I’m stupid for forgetting, how I she be more punished. I don't understand, during my time in this class for almost a year I thought she was a cool girl, and same for my teacher. Who are these people?

I felt the tears forming in my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. I didn't want to make a fool of myself by crying. My hands were already tight fists, and my eyes were closed cause I didn't want to see her insulting me more.

Now the fire grew to a wild fire inside of me. Without thinking, I shouted, “SHUT UP!” I was in so much anger that my thoughts were making me see images of my class mate and teacher suffering painfully for causing me this pain. I never thought that a ten year old girl like me could think about stuff like this. I never thought about violent things happening to people I know, but it didn't matter, it brought a smile on my face.

When I opened my eyes, everyone was looking at me. Ignoring their stares, I realized what anger can do to you.


Days after the whole incident, everything was now forgotten. Right now I was in lunch eating. It was the time to leave the cafeteria, so my class started to line up. As I was getting up from the table, I haven't realize that my shoe was caught on something, making me fall on the filthy floor. I was extremely embarrassed, but then I heard a booming laughter from a boy twice my size that was in my class.

“You are such clumsy person, Leah, you should watch your step,” he continued to laugh at me.

I felt that same fire I had turn into an inferno. And as if my body was possessed and my thoughts were shut off, I jumped to my feet and charged at him. I didn't care if he was twice my size, I just wanted to hurt him. I attacked him by using all my strength to hit and kick him. But, right now what I'm doing, I wanted to do more than this. I wanted to torture him painfully. I was like a monster that no one could see until they provoked me.

My hits and kicks were starting to slow down, and then fully stop. I didn't think I had to go through this again with my anger, but I would promise myself that I wouldn't think, or physically wanting to hurt someone.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


It was half true. True being that I won't physically hurt someone. But, the promise to also not think of hurting someone, I broke that along time ago. I can't really help not thinking of ways I would hurt the person that causes me pain. Shame, all I could do is think.

Well, over the years I controlled my urges to attack someone when I'm angry. What helped was to think of doing horrible things to them in my head, but I couldn't do it in real life. So, that's where my promise was broken. Hey, I had to brake one to keep the other. Of course, doing that made my mind more violent over the years. What I would want to do to Ms. Fernandez is probably doing anything deadly. My mind thinks deadly things to people now who cause me pain, so I wouldn't think anyone would want to take a peek in my head.

As the fire in me died down, I was ready to go back to class.

Chapter 3

It's my favorite time of the night. Where the sky is dark as a raven's wing. Dozens of twinkling stars so high in the sky. Such a beautiful sight.

Lying on my back on the top of my roof is nice and peaceful. This time and place is where I love to spend the majority of my time to escape reality. Forget all my problems like they never existed.

Sometimes I think I don't belong in this world. I belong somewhere magical, or something out of this world. But, I'm stuck here. The only magical place I can go to is my dreams that I never want to wake up from.

The moon is very beautiful tonight. Round and glowing so bright like angels in heaven. Looking at it just puts me in a trance.

I sighed, and looked back at the stars.

Then something caught my eye, something moving. I realized it was a shooting star. Even if I wished for things from a birthday candle, or a wishing fountain, of course it wouldn't come true. Seeing a shooting star, I thought that I shouldn't bother wishing, but something told me that I should.

I closed my eyes, and wished for something that I really wanted.

I wish my life were like something I would want to be living in.

I opened my eyes, and nothing happened.

I didn't expect anything to happen at the moment, but the wishing thing wouldn't work anyway.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time. 12:30. It was getting late, but luckily tomorrow was Saturday. Sitting up straight, I got to my feet, and got on the edge of the roof. The fence was connected to