The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 8 - Sir Richard Francis Burton (best e reader for epub .TXT) 📗

in fishing! Never in my life will I part with thee! But now I mean to send thee to the fish-bazar, where do thou enquire for the shop of Humayd the fisherman and say to him, �My master Khalif saluteth thee and biddeth thee send him a pair of frails and a knife, so he may bring thee more fish than yesterday.’ Run and return to me forthright!” The Caliph replied (and indeed he was laughing), “On my head, O master!” and, mounting his mule, rode back to Ja’afar, who said to. him, “Tell me what hath betided thee.” So the Caliph told him all that had passed between Khalif the Fisherman and himself, from first to last, adding, “I left him awaiting my return to him with the baskets and I am resolved that he shall teach me how to scale fish and clean them.” Quoth Ja’afar, “And I will go with thee to sweep up the scales and clean out the shop.” And the affair abode thus, till presently the Caliph cried, “O Ja’afar, I desire of thee that thou despatch the young Mamelukes, saying to them, �Whoso bringeth me a fish from before yonder fisherman, I will give him a dinar;’ for I love to eat of my own fishing.” Accordingly Ja’afar repeated to the young white slaves what the Caliph had said and directed them where to find the man. They came down upon Khalif and snatched the fish from him; and when he saw them and noted their goodliness, he doubted not but that they were of the black-eyed Houris of Paradise: so he caught up a couple of fish and ran into the river, saying, “O Allah mine, by the secret virtue of these fish, forgive me!” Suddenly, up came the chief eunuch, questing fish, but he found none; so seeing Khalif ducking and rising in the water, with the two fish in his hands, called out to him, saying, “O Khalif, what hast thou there?”

Replied the fisherman, “Two fish,” and the eunuch said, “Give them to me and take an hundred dinars for them.” Now when Khalif heard speak of an hundred dinars, he came up out of the water and cried, “Hand over the hundred dinars.” Said the eunuch, “Follow me to the house of Al-Rashid and receive thy gold, O Khalif; and, taking the fish, made off to the Palace of the Caliphate.

Meanwhile Khalif betook himself to Baghdad, clad as he was in the Caliph’s gown, which reached only to above his knees,[FN#283]

turbanded with the piece he had cut off therefrom and girt about his middle with a rope, and he pushed through the centre of the city. The folk fell a-laughing and marvelling at him and saying, “Whence hadst thou that robe of honour?” But he went on, asking, “Where is the house of Al-Rash�d[FN#284]?;” and they answered, “Say, �The house of Al-Rash�d’;” and he rejoined, “‘Tis all the same,” and fared on, till he came to the Palace of the Caliphate.

Now he was seen by the tailor, who had made the gown and who was standing at the door, and when he noticed it upon the Fisherman, he said to him, “For how many years hast thou had admission to the palace?” Khalif replied “Ever since I was a little one;” and the tailor asked, “Whence hadest thou that gown thou hast spoilt on this wise?” Khalif answered, “I had it of my apprentice the trumpeter.” Then he went up to the door, where he found the Chief Eunuch sitting with the two fishes by his side: and seeing him sable-black of hue, said to him, “Wilt thou not bring the hundred dinars, O uncle Tulip?” Quoth he, “On my head, O Khalif,” when, behold, out came Ja’afar from the presence of the Caliph and seeing the fisherman talking with the Eunuch and saying to him, “This is the reward of goodness, O nuncle Tulip,” went in to Al-Rashid and said to him, “O Commander of the Faithful, thy master the Fisherman is with the Chief Eunuch, dunning him for an hundred dinars.” Cried the Caliph, “Bring him to me, O Ja’afar;”

and the Minister answered, “Hearing and obeying.” So he went out to the Fisherman and said to him, “O Khalif, thine apprentice the trumpeter biddeth thee to him;” then he walked on, followed by the other till they reached the presence-chamber, where he saw the Caliph seated, with a canopy over his head. When he entered, Al-Rashid wrote three scrolls and set them before him, and the Fisherman said to him, “So thou hast given up trumpeting and turned astrologer!” Quoth the Caliph to him, “Take thee a scroll.” Now in the first he had written, “Let him be given a gold piece,” in the second, “An hundred dinars,” and in the third, “Let him be given an hundred blows with a whip.” So Khalif put out his hand and by the decree of the Predestinator, it lighted on the scroll wherein was written, “Let him receive an hundred lashes,” and Kings, whenas they ordain aught, go not back therefrom. So they threw him prone on the ground and beat him an hundred blows, whilst he wept and roared for succour, but none succoured him, and said, “By Allah, this is a good joke O

trumpeter! I teach thee fishing and thou turnest astrologer and drawest me an unlucky lot. Fie upon thee,[FN#285] in thee is naught of good!” When the Caliph heard his speech, he fell fainting in a fit of laughter and said, “O Khalif, no harm shall betide thee: fear not. Give him an hundred gold pieces.” So they gave him an hundred dinars, and he went out, and ceased not faring forth till he came to the trunk-market, where he found the folk assembled in a ring about a broker, who was crying out and saying, “At an hundred dinars, less one dinar! A locked chest!”

So he pressed on and pushed through the crowd and said to the broker, “Mine for an hundred dinars!” The broker closed with him and took his money, whereupon there was left him nor little nor much. The porters disputed awhile about who should carry the chest and presently all said, “By Allah, none shall carry this chest but Zurayk!”[FN#286] And the folk said, “Blue-eyes hath the best right to it.” So Zurayk shouldered the chest, after the goodliest fashion, and walked a-rear of Khalif. As they went along, the Fisherman said in himself, “I have nothing left to give the porter; how shall I rid myself of him? Now I will traverse the main streets with him and lead him about, till he be weary and set it down and leave it, when I will take it up and carry it to my lodging.” Accordingly, he went round about the city with the porter from noontide to sundown, till the man began to grumble and said, “O my lord, where is thy house?” Quoth Khalif, “Yesterday I knew it, but to-day I have forgotten it.”

And the porter said, “Give me my hire and take thy chest.” But Khalif said, “Go on at thy leisure, till I bethink me where my house is,” presently adding, “O Zurayk, I have no money with me.

‘Tis all in my house and I have forgotten where it is.” As they were talking, there passed by them one who knew the Fisherman and said to him, “O Khalif, what bringeth thee hither?” Quoth the porter, “O uncle, where is Khalif’s house?” and quoth he, “‘Tis in the ruined Khan in the Raw�s�n Quarter.”[FN#287] Then said Zurayk to Khalif, “Go to; would Heaven thou hadst never lived nor been!” And the Fisherman trudged on, followed by the porter, till they came to the place when the Hammal said, “O thou whose daily bread Allah cut off in this world, have we not passed this place a score of times? Hadst thou said to me, ‘Tis in such a stead, thou hadst spared me this great toil; but now give me my wage and let me wend my way.” Khalif replied “Thou shalt have silver, if not gold. Stay here, till I bring thee the same.” So he entered his lodging and taking a mallet he had there, studded with forty nails (wherewith an he smote a camel, he had made an end of it), rushed upon the porter and raised his forearm to strike him therewith; but Zurayk cried out at him, saying, “Hold thy hand! I have no claim on thee,” and fled. Now having got rid of the Hammal, Khalif carried the chest into the Khan, whereupon the neighbours came down and flocked about him, saying, “O Khalif, whence hadst thou this robe and this chest?” Quoth he, “From my apprentice Al-Rashid who gave them to me,” and they said, “The pimp is mad! Al-Rashid will assuredly hear of his talk and hang him over the door of his lodging and hang all in the Khan on account of the droll. This is a fine farce!” Then they helped him to carry the chest into his lodging and it filled the whole closet.[FN#288] Thus far concerning Khalif; but as for the history of the chest, it was as follows: The Caliph had a Turkish slavegirl, by name Kut al-Kul�b, whom he loved with love exceeding and the Lady Zubaydah came to know of this from himself and was passing jealous of her and secretly plotted mischief against her. So, whilst the Commander of the Faithful was absent a-sporting and a-hunting, she sent for Kut al-Kulub and, inviting her to a banquet, set before her meat and wine, and she ate and drank. Now the wine was drugged with Bhang; so she slept and Zubaydah sent for her Chief Eunuch and putting her in a great chest, locked it and gave it to him, saying, “Take this chest and cast it into the river.” Thereupon he took it up before him on a he-mule and set out with it for the sea, but found it unfit to carry; so, as he passed by the trunk-market, he saw the Shaykh of the brokers and salesmen and said to him, “Wilt thou sell me this chest, O uncle?” The broker replied, “Yes, we will do this much.”

“But,” said the Eunuch, “look thou sell it not except locked;”

and the other, “‘Tis well; we will do that also.”[FN#289] So he set down the chest, and they cried it for sale, saying, “Who will buy this chest for an hundred dinars?”; and behold, up came Khalif the Fisherman and bought the chest after turning it over right and left; and there passed between him and the porter that which hath been before set out. Now as regards Khalif the Fisherman; he lay down on the chest to sleep, and presently Kut al-Kulub awoke from her Bhang and finding herself in the chest, cried out and said, “Alas!” Whereupon Khalif sprang off the chest-lid and cried out and said, “Ho, Moslems! Come to my help!

There are Ifrits in the chest.” So the neighbours awoke from sleep and said to him, “What mattereth thee, O madman?” Quoth he, “The chest is full of Ifrits;” and quoth they, “Go to sleep; thou hast troubled our rest this night may Allah not bless thee! Go in and sleep, without madness.” He ejaculated, “I cannot sleep;” but they abused him and he went in and lay down once more. And behold, Kut al-Kulub spoke and said, “Where am I?” Upon which Khalif fled forth the closet and said, “O neighbours of the hostelry, come to my aid!” Quoth they, “What hath befallen thee?

Thou troublest the neighbours’ rest.” “O folk, there be Ifrits in the chest, moving and speaking.” “Thou liest: what do they say?”

“They say, �Where am I?’” “Would Heaven thou wert in Hell! Thou disturbest the neighbours and hinderest them