This Strange Addiction - Julie Steimle (book recommendations based on other books .TXT) 📗

can I talk to you before you make the biggest mistake of your life?”

Pulling back, Audry lifted her chin. “Let me guess, you are another one of Hogan’s goddesses.”

The woman nodded. “I am.”

Audry rolled her eyes. “Look. No one is perfect. I know about all the goddesses—but I also believe in forgiveness.”

“And so do I,” the woman said. “But Hogan is not as repentant as you think he is.”

Those words were like a bucket of cold water. Ignoring Charlene, Audry faced this woman. “Ok. I’m listening.”

Nodding to her, sighing, the woman gestured they get out of the sun and find a place to sit and talk. But the air was getting chilly as fall had jumped on them, so Audry was not so sure she wanted to be in the shade. Yet she agreed, as she had to get this over with. They were in a public place after all. No real harm could happen without witnesses. Charlene followed at a distance.

“My name is Rachel Plummer. Hogan called me Aphrodite,” the woman said as she sat down on a bench they found near a shop window.

Audry tried to remember an Aphrodite on the list. There was one, near the beginning. He didn’t write much about her in his blog, though he often did say that the goddess of love was always giving. Silvia had made her read that several times to prove Hogan was a creep, though Audry just said he was being a romantic, talking about love in general. Yet now facing Aphrodite, Audry wondered about the blog again. Why did he phrase it like that? Was he talking about love in general or Rachel? Yet to forgive him meant to leave the past behind and not dig up old hurts. However, Rachel did not seem like a psycho ex. She looked sensible.

“I met Hogan when I was sixteen,” Rachel said, meeting Audry’s gaze levelly. “I was young and stupid. I was convinced I was deeply in love with him. And he as so charming, traveling on his first college internship. He was nineteen.”

Audry drew in a breath. That would have made their relationship statutory rape if they had sex—even if it was consensual.

“I was so deeply in love and fooled by him that when I got pregnant, I really believed he would come back to me and we would have a family.”

It felt like more cold water had been thrown on her, especially in that wind. Audry stared at Rachel. They were not that different in age. Rachel was perhaps a year younger than she was.

“I kept my baby,” Rachel said. “A girl, whom I named Lily. And Hogan and I wrote letters to each other over the years. Lily knows who her father is. Hogan made me promises and told me about his travels. And he visited me. But he never stayed.”

Audry felt the blood drain from her face. This, she did not want to know about him. This was bad… if it were true.

“Hogan, you see, is the ultimate charmer,” Rachel explained. “He never pushes you further than you are willing to go, so it is never rape. But he is good at convincing you that he is madly, deeply in love with you—and that you are madly, deeply in love with him. He has that charm. He charmed me—a number of times.”

“What?” Audry blinked, listening more intently. What was Rachel implying exactly?

“I never knew that when he was out and about that he was having all these relationships with these other women,” Rachel said. “He wrote me often, telling me about his adventures. The cities he went to. The countries he visited. Friends he met. He would even send me gifts and money. Not enough to really live by, but to keep me baited on his hook.”

Nausea rose in Audry’s throat. She put a hand over her mouth, wishing all this was a lie—chanting it in her head: Let it be a lie. Let it be a lie.

“The thing is, after a time he would always come back to me.” Rachel shrugged, watching Audry sympathetically. “He convinced me he missed me and that I was the only one for him. So of course I let him sleep with me, thinking ‘This was it. This time would be my happily ever after’.” She shook her head. “He got me pregnant a second time—this time two boys. Twins. I named them Ryan and Richard.”

A shudder went through Audry. This was really bad. She really did not want it to be true now. How could she forgive this?

“I was convinced for years he loved me, even though he would never stay. I was his easy lay,” Rachel said, shaking her head. “And every time he came back, he brought me gifts and money. He made me feel beautiful, though I was almost always lonely when he was gone. I was always hopeful that he would come back to me someday and stay. But he never did. And my family just watched me, telling me he was no good. But I would never believe them.”

Then she closed her eyes and said, “But then I met Charlene a couple years back—and she told me everything Hogan was up to, how he was screwing all these women and getting a lot of them pregnant. At first I didn’t believe it, but she showed me the goddess list, and she helped me contact the other ladies to find out if it was really true.” Rachel closed her eyes, wincing at that memory. “And when I found out it wasn’t a lie, when I realized it was all a farce, I tried to commit suicide because I had nothing else to live for.”

Those words made Audry’s heart just drop into her stomach.

“I had slit my wrists and waited to die.” Rachel choked up. “My family barely intervened in time.” She showed Audry her scars.

Reaching out, Audry felt the healed cuts in Rachel’s skin, crisscrossing the veins of her wrists. They were real.

“My family can corroborate. They had seen him, and they knew he had gotten me pregnant twice. They called him my no-good boyfriend.”

Audry’s mouth went dry. She peeked to Charlene who nodded smugly, her eyes saying ‘told you’. Averting her gaze, Audry looked to Rachel again. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m ok now,” Rachel said, smiling brightly. “I am now happily married to a good man, and I have devoted my life to Jesus. I moved to Texas where I got a new life. But…” she eyed Audry sincerely, “a week ago Charlene called me again—and I didn’t want to hear from her again to be honest because her intrusion into my life destroyed my fantasy and rattled everything I had known. But she said Hogan had found his newest sucker. And then she showed me pictures of you and explained who you were.”

Audry pulled back.

“And I knew I had to come here and do something. I had to warn you—because you are exactly the kind of person he targets.” Rachel looked grave.

Audry paled more. Silvia’s dark looks and Jessica’s warnings echoed now in her head. Neither of her best friends liked him, and yet she ignored their intuition. Silvia had never quit calling him a predator. And as she thought on it more, Audry realized now why Hogan could never find her apartment. Silvia had said it, the spell was meant to keep those who might harm her out. That meant Hogan.

“He likes all sorts of girls,” Rachel said with a nod. “But he loves the conquest of the hunt the most. He’s a predator, and a good actor. And he likes a challenge.” And she pointed to Audry, meaning her.

Charlene then handed Audry a list of women whom Hogan had been with. “Here. These are his other goddesses—all of them whom I could find with names and addresses. They all know the truth now. I made sure of it. Just contact them and see for yourself.”

Audry took the list gingerly. She could feel Charlene’s savage desire to destroy all of Hogan’s happiness, as she was called Isis for a reason. But with a glance to Rachel who was sane, Audry saw that she too wanted her to talk to these other women.

“Just find out the truth,” Rachel said, meeting Audry’s gaze. “I quit corresponding with Hogan after my suicide attempt. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. And when I got married, my husband had adopted our children, so I am fine. But you?” Rachel shook her head. “Don’t think for a second he isn’t sleeping with other women while he is gone on his trips. If you—Artemis—are not giving him any, don’t think for a second he isn’t getting it from somewhere else.”

Audry was stunned. She did not know what to think. Was Hogan cheating on her right now? Did he have a Connecticut girlfriend? A secret goddess to add to the list? She had to find out the truth. She could not marry a man who did not understand the idea of monogamy. At least Rick Deacon kept his exploits to one woman—no matter how trashy she was.

“Don’t go mad, Artemis,” Rachel said as she rose from their seat where they had been talking. “Use your head. You are the huntress—the one Orion could not beat. The one he could not have. Keep that legend alive.”

But Audry was angry. She didn’t know what was true. And as she went home to look at the list, her mind raced over all the advice and warnings her friends had given her. Just like with Harlin, she had been blind to the fact that he was a player. If Hogan was indeed just another sleaze ball, then she really was cursed. Dangerous men, she had a fatal attraction to them. A strange addiction, maybe. She tried to figure out why she was so drawn to such people. Why could she not just find a good one?

But then her mind recalled her favorite line in Anne of Avonlea, the movie, when Anne was talking about her ideal man to her best friend—a man who could be wicked, but wouldn’t. That edgy, dangerous guy who chose against villainy. The Edward Cullens of the world who would not bite his Bella. Damn. She really had bought into that romance. Audry wondered if such men even existed or if such men truly were myths. Maybe she just ought to look out for a Gilbert Blythe—the buddy who was always there.

The problem was, Audry did not have such relationships with guys. She was a buddy with women, not men. Men were annoying, sensual, brawny, lust-filled creatures. By nature, they were dangerous. And the weak simpering beta bootlickers among them were ridiculously pathetic. She didn’t want a puppy dog. She wanted a wolf.

Her phone rang as she went to the internet to look up the goddesses herself. She picked up her cellphone and looked at the caller ID. It was Hogan.

Resisting the urge to throw her phone at the wall, Audry pressed TALK hard. “Hello?”

<< Audry! I’m back from Connecticut. Do you want to catch dinner and a play tonight? I hear Hairspray is showing on Broadway. I can get tickets. >>

She cleared her throat, restraining her emotions as best as she could, and said, “I’m not really up for a play, but I would like to see you.”

<< So dinner then? >>

Audry heaved a breath, imagining him in an alleyway with someone like Daisy—or perhaps, he was her Daisy. Her seducer. For a moment she felt sorry for Rick and wondered if perhaps she really ought to call Matthew. She said with self-control, “Yeah, dinner.”

<< Audry, are you ok? You sound a little distressed? >>

Oh… she clenched her teeth, fuming a mite. But she replied, “I had a bit of a bad day. I don’t want to talk about it on the phone.”

<< Oh. I’m sorry. Hopefully I can cheer you up at dinner. I’ve got some amazing news, great ideas for our honeymoon. I