Chained to the prince of darkness by Lunasads (ebook reader that looks like a book .TXT) 📗

Glimpses of past

Longest chapter

"How are you feeling?" Sandra asked, putting the plate of food down on the table beside the bed.

I stopped talking about how I felt long ago because no one cared anyway. 

Emotionally, I was done.

Mentally, I was drained.

Spiritually, I was dead.

Physically, I was broken.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell, I wanted to shout, but all I could do was lay there and shed tears. I didn't even know what I was feeling anymore. Was it fear? Was it anger? Was it hatred? Or was the fragments of vulnerability was piercing through me. Everything felt so much hopeless, and there were no ways to feel better. It felt like there was no way ever to feel good again. I felt worthless, a mere piece of hopeless meat and flesh.

I wanted to build walls around my heart and hideaway in its depth.

"I'll be okay," I said lowly, wanting her to leave me alone. I wanted to drown myself in the ocean of my sorrows and never come back to the surface. I wanted my heart to burn, like fire, and turn myself into ashesand wanted the wind of death to blew me away.

This....this feeling felt so wrong, so endangered. In one moment I felt sad, depressed, anxious, lonely but in another,, I felt nothingness. And I wanted to stay that way. 

 

Feeling that made me feel trapped, stuck. 

Sandra had left the room long ago. Indicating that I was again alone, alone with my thoughts, alone with myself. 

 

Stuck with his hollowness, with his gloom, with his darkness, that will swallow me, one day. 

Nothing seemed nice, everything's seemed off, bland. It was like the happiness in my life was switched with sadness, sorrow with the the click of his fingers.

And that happiness was Mathew, my mind couldn't believe that he was no more. That he would never hold me in his arms. That he would never say that he loved me.

I wanted to cry but my eyes refused to cry, but my heart was screaming with affliction, with agony, with discomfort. Every door of my freedom was vanished, like it was never there, leaving me with darkness, his darkness.

But why?

Why did it happen to me?

What was my fault?

Did I trust too much?

Or did I trust the wrong people?

"Hey,"

Even god didn't want to see me happy, that's why he snatched away my happiness, tossed me in hands of the devil, an inhumane vicious being. 

He didn't feel any remorse for killing him, that's because he barely had a heart.

He didn't feel guilty, because he had looked no one to answer to. 

"Sarah?"

He was a devil, and his name perfectly matched with Satan's, Lucifer.

Why does—

"Hey, you there,"

Why didn't they leave me alone? I just wanted to mourn him. Let me spend a few moments with his memories, with myself.

I didn't say anything, I didn't feel like saying anything. It was like my voice was lost, muffled like something was stuck in my throat. 

'I should've burned him.' 

Mathew didn't deserve that, damn it! I didn't deserve him, I was responsible for his demise, for his unfortunate death. If I hadn't told him I loved him, he wouldn't be here, he wouldn't be dead, he would be alive, living his peaceful life. Why god why? He should've killed me. Why did he have to hurt me like that?

"Sarah!" 

I turned towards the voice. I didn't see clearly who was standing there, but I could see their shadows. My blurry vision was restricting me from seeing. I blinked back the tears, that were threatening to escape and wipe away my cheeks, clearing my vision.

"How are you?" Aphrodite asked with a concerned voice as she moved towards me. 

How was I?

I didn't know.

Would they care if I said I'm not fine?

No, they wouldn't.

"I'm fine," my voice came out rough from all the crying I've done since last week. 

I heard her sigh.

"I get it, you are not fine," turning towards the left she sat next to me. 

Why did she care? 

In fact, she shouldn't be here in the first place.

"I won't say I'm sorry, that's because I didn't knew him. But I sure feel bad looking at you like this. I agree Lucifer was raged in his actions. But you can't live your life sticking to his death," 

That's it?

Raged?

Actions?

He took someone's life, for god's sake!

But will it make any difference if I argue over this?
No! It wouldn't!

Sensing my quietness, she continued, "You want to know who we are, who he is?" 

I looked at her, do I want to know my captor?

"Do you want answers to your questions, do you want your doubts to be cleared?" 

I wanted to. So badly.

But the question was would she tell me the truth?
Or would she lie, like everyone else?

And again will the truth hurt me.. As everything does.

****

The wind blew, touching their hairs. Her hairs flew on her back like a waterfall of chocolate, smooth, shining with rays of sunlight. The chirping of birds sounded brings pure ecstasy in her heart, it felt like they were singing the songs of love, songs of joy. 

Her daughter.

She will see her after twenty years, after an agonizing a long time. Nothing tore her heart apart more than knowing that her daughter was in hands of the devil himself whose mind is controlled by demons.

All the negative thoughts came into her mind. How was she be? Would she recognize me? Will she accept me? Or Cassian? Or Perseus?

‍​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌‍