Chance - Joseph Conrad (ebook reader below 3000 .TXT) 📗

time.  If I had been given time I would have ended by being made a peer like some of them.’  And he had permitted himself his very first and last gesture in all these days, raising a hard-clenched fist above his head.

The pressman disapproved of that manifestation.  It was not his business to understand it.  Is it ever the business of any pressman to understand anything?  I guess not.  It would lead him too far away from the actualities which are the daily bread of the public mind.  He probably thought the display worth very little from a picturesque point of view; the weak voice; the colourless personality as incapable of an attitude as a bed-post, the very fatuity of the clenched hand so ineffectual at that time and place—no, it wasn’t worth much.  And then, for him, an accomplished craftsman in his trade, thinking was distinctly “bad business.”  His business was to write a readable account.  But I who had nothing to write, I permitted myself to use my mind as we sat before our still untouched glasses.  And the disclosure which so often rewards a moment of detachment from mere visual impressions gave me a thrill very much approaching a shudder.  I seemed to understand that, with the shock of the agonies and perplexities of his trial, the imagination of that man, whose moods, notions and motives wore frequently an air of grotesque mystery—that his imagination had been at last roused into activity.  And this was awful.  Just try to enter into the feelings of a man whose imagination wakes up at the very moment he is about to enter the tomb . . . ”

* * * * *

“You must not think,” went on Marlow after a pause, “that on that morning with Fyne I went consciously in my mind over all this, let us call it information; no, better say, this fund of knowledge which I had, or rather which existed, in me in regard to de Barral.  Information is something one goes out to seek and puts away when found as you might do a piece of lead: ponderous, useful, unvibrating, dull.  Whereas knowledge comes to one, this sort of knowledge, a chance acquisition preserving in its repose a fine resonant quality . . . But as such distinctions touch upon the transcendental I shall spare you the pain of listening to them.  There are limits to my cruelty.  No!  I didn’t reckon up carefully in my mind all this I have been telling you.  How could I have done so, with Fyne right there in the room?  He sat perfectly still, statuesque in homely fashion, after having delivered himself of his effective assent: “Yes.  The convict,” and I, far from indulging in a reminiscent excursion into the past, remained sufficiently in the present to muse in a vague, absent-minded way on the respectable proportions and on the (upon the whole) comely shape of his great pedestrian’s calves, for he had thrown one leg over his knee, carelessly, to conceal the trouble of his mind by an air of ease.  But all the same the knowledge was in me, the awakened resonance of which I spoke just now; I was aware of it on that beautiful day, so fresh, so warm and friendly, so accomplished—an exquisite courtesy of the much abused English climate when it makes up its meteorological mind to behave like a perfect gentleman.  Of course the English climate is never a rough.  It suffers from spleen somewhat frequently—but that is gentlemanly too, and I don’t mind going to meet him in that mood.  He has his days of grey, veiled, polite melancholy, in which he is very fascinating.  How seldom he lapses into a blustering manner, after all!  And then it is mostly in a season when, appropriately enough, one may go out and kill something.  But his fine days are the best for stopping at home, to read, to think, to muse—even to dream; in fact to live fully, intensely and quietly, in the brightness of comprehension, in that receptive glow of the mind, the gift of the clear, luminous and serene weather.

That day I had intended to live intensely and quietly, basking in the weather’s glory which would have lent enchantment to the most unpromising of intellectual prospects.  For a companion I had found a book, not bemused with the cleverness of the day—a fine-weather book, simple and sincere like the talk of an unselfish friend.  But looking at little Fyne seated in the room I understood that nothing would come of my contemplative aspirations; that in one way or another I should be let in for some form of severe exercise.  Walking, it would be, I feared, since, for me, that idea was inseparably associated with the visual impression of Fyne.  Where, why, how, a rapid striding rush could be brought in helpful relation to the good Fyne’s present trouble and perplexity I could not imagine; except on the principle that senseless pedestrianism was Fyne’s panacea for all the ills and evils bodily and spiritual of the universe.  It could be of no use for me to say or do anything.  It was bound to come.  Contemplating his muscular limb encased in a golf-stocking, and under the strong impression of the information he had just imparted I said wondering, rather irrationally:

“And so de Barral had a wife and child!  That girl’s his daughter.  And how . . . ”

Fyne interrupted me by stating again earnestly, as though it were something not easy to believe, that his wife and himself had tried to befriend the girl in every way—indeed they had!  I did not doubt him for a moment, of course, but my wonder at this was more rational.  At that hour of the morning, you mustn’t forget, I knew nothing as yet of Mrs. Fyne’s contact (it was hardly more) with de Barral’s wife and child during their exile at the Priory, in the culminating days of that man’s fame.

Fyne who had come over, it was clear, solely to talk to me on that subject, gave me the first hint of this initial, merely out of doors, connection.  “The girl was quite a child then,” he continued.  “Later on she was removed out of Mrs. Fyne’s reach in charge of a governess—a very unsatisfactory person,” he explained.  His wife had then—h’m—met him; and on her marriage she lost sight of the child completely.  But after the birth of Polly (Polly was the third Fyne girl) she did not get on very well, and went to Brighton for some months to recover her strength—and there, one day in the street, the child (she wore her hair down her back still) recognized her outside a shop and rushed, actually rushed, into Mrs. Fyne’s arms.  Rather touching this.  And so, disregarding the cold impertinence of that . . . h’m . . . governess, his wife naturally responded.

He was solemnly fragmentary.  I broke in with the observation that it must have been before the crash.

Fyne nodded with deepened gravity, stating in his bass tone—

“Just before,” and indulged himself with a weighty period of solemn silence.

De Barral, he resumed suddenly, was not coming to Brighton for week-ends regularly, then.  Must have been conscious already of the approaching disaster.  Mrs. Fyne avoided being drawn into making his acquaintance, and this suited the views of the governess person, very jealous of any outside influence.  But in any case it would not have been an easy matter.  Extraordinary, stiff-backed, thin figure all in black, the observed of all, while walking hand-in-hand with the girl; apparently shy, but—and here Fyne came very near showing something like insight—probably nursing under a diffident manner a considerable amount of secret arrogance.  Mrs. Fyne pitied Flora de Barral’s fate long before the catastrophe.  Most unfortunate guidance.  Very unsatisfactory surroundings.  The girl was known in the streets, was stared at in public places as if she had been a sort of princess, but she was kept with a very ominous consistency, from making any acquaintances—though of course there were many people no doubt who would have been more than willing to—h’m—make themselves agreeable to Miss de Barral.  But this did not enter into the plans of the governess, an intriguing person hatching a most sinister plot under her severe air of distant, fashionable exclusiveness.  Good little Fyne’s eyes bulged with solemn horror as he revealed to me, in agitated speech, his wife’s more than suspicions, at the time, of that, Mrs., Mrs. What’s her name’s perfidious conduct.  She actually seemed to have—Mrs. Fyne asserted—formed a plot already to marry eventually her charge to an impecunious relation of her own—a young man with furtive eyes and something impudent in his manner, whom that woman called her nephew, and whom she was always having down to stay with her.

“And perhaps not her nephew.  No relation at all”—Fyne emitted with a convulsive effort this, the most awful part of the suspicions Mrs. Fyne used to impart to him piecemeal when he came down to spend his week-ends gravely with her and the children.  The Fynes, in their good-natured concern for the unlucky child of the man busied in stirring casually so many millions, spent the moments of their weekly reunion in wondering earnestly what could be done to defeat the most wicked of conspiracies, trying to invent some tactful line of conduct in such extraordinary circumstances.  I could see them, simple, and scrupulous, worrying honestly about that unprotected big girl while looking at their own little girls playing on the sea-shore.  Fyne assured me that his wife’s rest was disturbed by the great problem of interference.

“It was very acute of Mrs. Fyne to spot such a deep game,” I said, wondering to myself where her acuteness had gone to now, to let her be taken unawares by a game so much simpler and played to the end under her very nose.  But then, at that time, when her nightly rest was disturbed by the dread of the fate preparing for de Barral’s unprotected child, she was not engaged in writing a compendious and ruthless hand-book on the theory and practice of life, for the use of women with a grievance.  She could as yet, before the task of evolving the philosophy of rebellious action had affected her intuitive sharpness, perceive things which were, I suspect, moderately plain.  For I am inclined to believe that the woman whom chance had put in command of Flora de Barral’s destiny took no very subtle pains to conceal her game.  She was conscious of being a complete master of the situation, having once for all established her ascendancy over de Barral.  She had taken all her measures against outside observation of her conduct; and I could not help smiling at the thought what a ghastly nuisance the serious, innocent Fynes must have been to her.  How exasperated she must have been by that couple falling into Brighton as completely unforeseen as a bolt from the blue—if not so prompt.  How she must have hated them!

But I conclude she would have carried out whatever plan she might have formed.  I can imagine de Barral accustomed for years to defer to her wishes and, either through arrogance, or shyness, or simply because of his unimaginative stupidity, remaining outside the social pale, knowing no one but some card-playing cronies; I can picture him to myself terrified at the prospect of having the care of a marriageable girl thrust on his hands, forcing on him a complete change of habits and the necessity of another kind of existence which he would not even have known how to begin.  It is evident to me that Mrs. What’s her name would have had her atrocious way with very little trouble even if the excellent Fynes had been able to do something.  She would simply have bullied de Barral in a lofty style.  There’s nothing more subservient than an arrogant man when his arrogance has once