Apple Jack - Kelsey Rogers (dar e dil novel online reading .TXT) 📗

tell its there, doctor. Only it knows of its very existance."
The doctor looked at Susana in estonishment. This girl was so smart, why is she so corrupt? The question lingers on. what if she isnt corrupt but simply viewed that way because she is so different? What if Susana's behavior was because of her frustration about how no one understands her? They all think she's crazy. The truth may be that the walls she is enclosed in is what is making her go insane. She is a clever, manipulative girl trapped behind white walls! The doctor wrote down his notes on Susana and looked back into her green eyes.
"Susana, Why are you..."
Susana interrupted Doctor Wilco before he could finish his question.
"Why am I insane.. Doctor, I am far from insane. I am someone who knows so much it just scares people into believing there is something wrong with me. I know exactly what you want to know, what you want to see, and what you are confused about. I am less insane that you are, in fact. The world is a complicated place to be alive in. So much controvercy and competativeness. There is no way to win the game you entered to play. I play success, but my character was imprisoned. Now I can never play again. I dont have a get out of jail free card. I am forced to play a different game, one i can only lose, and i wont be recieving a trophy for it either. What do I get out of this whole situation? Nothing but missery and pain. You cant fix me doctor because you are whats killing me. My mind games wont get me out of here, you and me both know that."
Doctor. Wilco stared at Susana puzzled. He was shocked how insightive she was and how she knew everything to a "g". In some fasinating way, he was scared for himself.
"Susana, you are right. But you're sick! you must understand that! You know so much but you cant fix yourself!"
"Tell me what you know! How do you see me as sick! whats wrong with me! you dont even know so dont tell me you do! Prove it to me Dr! Prove it!!"
"NURSE! remove Susana from my office. take her back to her room!"
Vagan entered and slowly touched Susana's arm to make her aware of his presance. She was staring angerly at the Dr, trying to find answers within his pale wrinkled face. Then Vagan lifted her from the chair and they escaped the doctors glare through the door with Dr. Wilco plated under the window.
"Susana, dont fight him."
"I cant stop it Vagan! I know the truth about myself! I know there is nothing wrong with me, only a misunderstanding! I shouldnt be here!"
"But, Susana, there is something wrong with you. Everyone sees it. You are so smart you should see it too!"
"You dont believe me."
Susana's face went pale with sadness. The boy she fell in love with didnt believe her, he thought she was crazy. How could she feel so much with a person like him, a retarded nurse. She should have known that he was dumb because what guy is a nurse. Her saddened face quickly turned to anger. She spat at him and walked away as he yelled:
"Susana! I dont think you are crazy! I just think you are missing a big element in your health! Please understand that!"
He wanted to say he loved her so badly but he knew that the others would hear him and he would be disconnected from Susana forever. He couldnt live without her.
Days went by and he hadnt heard from Susana. She locked herself in her room, only coming out to eat and take her meds. And every time she came out she would always check to see if Vagan was around. She didnt come out if she saw him, she didnt want anything to do with a guy that thought she was crazy and played with her heart. She saw him as scum now and she failed to announce that she does still love him. Her name was called from the loud speaker:
"Susana Adreali! Susana Adreali! Please make your presance known in the living area!"
Susana stared at the speaker in her room as the sound calling to her came from it. She stared almost as if she were confused. She stepped off her bed and moved toward the door. Slowly she grabbed the knob. She was unsure why her name had been called, after the year she had been there they had never done that before. She turned the knob and peaked out as she opened the door. What she saw made her gasp in confusion and horror. Could it be, she began to ask herself.

Chapter 2
Susana shut the door and hoped they hadnt seen her open it. She leaned against it gasping for air. All of a sudden the door knob turned and the door opened, pushing Susana out into the middle of the room.
"Susana?"
Susana's eye grew large as she glanced at the man standing in her doorway.
"..Yes."
The man smiled in relief that he was in the right room.
"I've missed you. I sent letters when I could, its been difficult with the war, ya know. 'gotta be on watch all the time."
The man chuckled awkwardly as he waited for Susana to respond.
"I love you, Susana. I havent been in the states for over a day and you are the first person I came to see. I've stayed faithful like I promised you."
Susana continued to stare with an awkward look, but finally came to.
"I love you too."
"You seem suprised that I came"
"I just wasnt expecting it, its been a year, Troy. I thought you were dead."
Troy looked at Susana with passion and walked to her. He wrapped his muscular arms around her and kissed her head as Susana began to cry.
"Im not leavin anymore, Susana. Never again. It's me and you from now on! I promise you babe, with my index finger!"
Susana smiled when he mentioned the index finger, mainly because it was an inside promise between the two of them. They had been heart broken before by pinky promises being broken so now they use their index fingers. It meant something more than truth between the two. But Susana felt guilty, so guilty for what she had done with Vagan. Troy was a man she loved, one whom she wanted to spend her life with as Vagan was just a fling. Something to take her mind off the death of Troy, who is actually not dead at all. She couldnt break Troy's heart by telling him and she made it her promise not to.
"I talked to your doctors and they have agreed to let you live with me as long as you come back for counseling and check ups. I can take care of you like we planned, start a family! Be together forever!"
Susana smiled.
"I love you, Troy. Lets go now, run off together and get our lives started! You are all I need!"
She wanted to escape the hospital, it was driving her crazy. Plus she needed to hide from Vagan, she didnt want him to see that she was with Troy because it would break his heart also.
Troy walked away from her, unsure why she is so eager to leave when she knows its not the right choice. He knew himself. He was unsure why he even came to get Susana. He thought to himself and used the excuse "must be because I wanted to see if she would run with me." He walked throught the door of Susana's room, not looking back or even saying goodbye.
"Troy! Troy wait! Where are you going!?"
He kept moving and finally reached the exit and walked through it.
Susana had tears in here eyes, she didn't know what just happened and she had no idea what to do next. She sat on her bed thinking to herself: "I am two of one person. A lie built into sweet innocents haunted by guilt and pain. The me which I am now craves the attention of people and desires lust from another being. But the real me, the real me is this innocent girl. One whichs aids those in need. One which desires love and gives love. She doesn't lie or have any guilt."
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Publication Date: 02-16-2011

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