Men, I've Had Enough of Them - Sally Lotz Spratt (best mystery novels of all time .txt) 📗

first. I feebly knocked on the front door, the voices stopped but no one came to the door. So I knocked again, this time a little harder. Through the opaque glass on the front I could see a bulky figure walking toward the door. The door opened with a quick jerk and Derek was saying, “Connie, I told you stop coming around…” His jaw dropped and his hand flew up to his baldhead when he saw it wasn’t Connie but his sweetness June. A wave of red began to creep up his neck and face, he couldn’t manage any words, and he just stood there looking at me.

His mother peered from around his arm; she didn’t even come up to his shoulder. She waved her spoon at me and in a thick Italian accent asked, “Are you one of his girlfriends?” “I used to be,” I responded back to her with a smile. “My son is a thief and a lazy no good for nothing. If I was you missy, I would pretend you never met him.” She had something in her hand; that I thought was a rat or small cat. She tossed it at me and it landed at my feet. I realized it was Derek’s hair. Before he could pick it up I managed to grab it in two hands. “Derek, where did you get this? Did you rummage through someone’s purses to buy this? Or, did you get Connie to buy it for you?” He mumbled back to me that Connie had bought it for him. “And, who is Connie anyway?” I demanded to know. “She’s my wife.” His head hung down lower. “Well, I just want you to know, that I am breaking up with you, lose my number, and lose my name! And, stay away from my bar!” With my head held high and my spine erect, I turned and walked back toward my car twirling Derek’s hair on my forefinger and whistling. Even though he had used me I held in my hands his ego. As I was opening my car door a flashy red corvette sped down the street, screeched to a stop blocking the BMW. The woman who got out wore black stiletto heels, she had shoulder pads that made her look like a linebacker and her hair was slicked back into a tight tiny little bun. She made me shudder. Upon closer inspection she was at least 60, her bun was so tight, it pulled her face up and got rid of her sagging face. “Are you Connie?” I asked safely from the other side of her car. “Yes, who wants to know?” she snapped back at me. “No one important, I just thought you might want to have some property back.” I tossed Derek’s hair over to her and she caught it with her blood red talons.

I drove home, this time I wasn’t depressed, mad or upset. I turned the radio up loud, rolled down my windows and let the wind tousle my hair. I laughed all the way home thinking of Derek rubbing his baldhead, hiding from Connie and living with his mother. I had made a step in the right direction. This time I had found out what a loser he was and I had the upper hand, now if I could just get rid of the loser part I would be all set!


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Publication Date: 04-10-2010

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