Rosa Mundi - Ethel May Dell (best ebook pdf reader android txt) 📗
- Author: Ethel May Dell
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little pile of luggage that looked so ludicrously insignificant among all the rest.
The babel here was incessant. She felt as if her senses would leave her. Piteously, like a lost child, she searched every face within her scope of vision; but she searched in vain for the face of a friend.
Later, she found herself following an official out into an open space like a great courtyard, that was crammed with vehicles. He was wheeling her luggage on a trolley. Suddenly he faced round and asked her whither she wanted to go.
She looked at him helplessly. "I am expecting someone to meet me," she said.
He stared at her in some perplexity, and finally suggested that he should set down her luggage and leave her to wait where she was.
To this she agreed, and when he had gone she seated herself on her cabin trunk and faced the situation. She was utterly alone, with scarcely any money in her possession, and no knowledge whatever of the place in which she found herself. Robin would, of course, come sooner or later, but till he came she was helpless.
What should she do, she wondered desperately? What could she do? All about her, people were coming and going. She watched them dizzily. There was not one of them who seemed to be alone. The heat and glare was intense. The clatter of wheels sounded in her ears like the roar of great waters. She felt as if she were sinking down, down through endless turmoil into a void unspeakable.
How long she had sat there she could not have said. It seemed to her hours when someone came up to her with a firm and purposeful stride, and stooping, touched her shoulder. She looked up dazedly, and saw Brett Mercer.
He said something to her, but it was as if he spoke in an unknown language. She had not the faintest idea what he meant. His face swam before her eyes. She shook her head at him vaguely, with quivering lips.
He stooped lower. She felt his arm encircle her, felt him draw her to her feet. Again he seemed to be speaking, but his words eluded her. The roar of the great waters filled her brain. Like a lost child she turned and clung to the supporting arm.
IV
Later, it seemed to her that her senses must have deserted her for a time, for she never remembered what happened to her next. A multitude of impressions crowded upon her, but she knew nothing with distinctness till she woke to find herself lying in a room with green blinds half-drawn, with Mercer stooping over her, compelling her to drink a nauseating mixture in a wine-glass.
As soon as full consciousness returned to her she refused to take another drop.
"What is it? It--it's horrible."
"It's the best stuff you ever tasted," he told her bluntly. "You needn't get up. You are all right as you are."
But she sat up, nevertheless, and looked at him confusedly. "Where am I?" she said.
He seated himself on the corner of a table that creaked loudly beneath his weight. It seemed to her that he looked even more massive than usual--a bed-rock of strength. His eyes met hers with a certain mastery.
"You are in a private room in a private hotel," he said. "I brought you here."
"In a hotel!" She stared at him for a moment, stricken silent by the information; then quickly she rose to her feet. "Oh, but I--I can't stay!" she said. "I have no money."
"I know," said Mercer. He remained seated on the table edge, his hands in his pockets, his eyes unwaveringly upon her. "That's where I come in," he told her, with a touch of aggressiveness, as though he sighted difficulties ahead. "I have money--plenty of it. And you are to make use of it."
She stood motionless, gazing at him. His eyes never left her. She could not quite fathom his look, but it was undoubtedly stern.
"Mr. Mercer," she said at last, rather piteously, "I--indeed I am grateful to you, much more than grateful. But--I can't!"
"Rubbish!" said Mercer curtly. "If you weren't a girl, I should tell you not to be a fool!"
She was clasping and unclasping her hands. It was to be a battle of wills. His rough speech revealed this to her. And she was ill-equipped for the conflict. His dominant personality seemed to deprive her of even the desire to fight. She remembered, with a sudden, burning flush, that she had clung to him only a little while before in her extremity of loneliness. Doubtless he remembered it too.
Yet she braced herself for the struggle. He could not, after all, compel her to accept his generosity.
"I am sorry," she said; "I am very sorry. But, you know, there is another way in which you can help me."
"What is that?" said Mercer.
"If you could tell me of some respectable lodging," she said. "I have enough for one night if the charges are moderate. And even after that--if Robin doesn't come--I have one or two little things I might sell. He is sure to come soon."
"And if he doesn't?" said Mercer.
Her fingers gripped each other.
"I am sure he will," she said.
"And if he doesn't?" said Mercer again.
His persistence became suddenly intolerable. She turned on him with something like anger--the anger of desperation.
"Why will you persist in trying to frighten me? I know he will come. I know he will!"
"You don't know," said Mercer. "I am not frightening you. You were afraid before you ever spoke to me."
He spoke harshly, without pity, and still his eyes dwelt resolutely upon her. He seemed to be watching her narrowly.
She did not attempt to deny his last words. She passed them by.
"I shall write to Bowker Creek. He may have mistaken the date."
"He may," said Mercer, in a tone she did not understand. "But, in the meantime, why should you turn your back upon the only friend you have at hand? It seems to me that you are making a fuss over nothing. You have been brought up to it, I daresay; but it isn't the fashion here. We are taught to take things as they come, and make the best of 'em. That's what you have got to do. It'll come easier after a bit."
"It will never come easily to me to--to live on charity," she protested, rather incoherently.
"But you can pay me back," said Brett Mercer.
She shook her head.
"Not if--if Robin----"
"I tell you, you can!" he insisted stubbornly.
"How?" She turned suddenly and faced him. There was a hint of defiance, or, rather, daring, in her manner. She met his look with unswerving resolution. "If there is a good chance of my being able to do that," she said, "even if--even if Robin fails me, I will accept your help."
"You will be able to do it," said Mercer.
"How?" she asked again.
"I will tell you," he said, "when you are quite sure that Robin has failed you."
"Tell me now!" she pleaded. "If it is some work that you can find for me to do--and I will do anything in the world that I can--it would be such a help to me to know of it. Won't you tell me what you mean? Please do!"
"No," said Mercer. "It is only a chance, and you may refuse it. I can't say. You may feel it too much for you to attempt. If you do, you will have to endure the obligation. But you shall have the chance of paying me back if you really want it."
"And you won't tell me what it is?" she said.
"No." He got to his feet, and stood looking down at her. "I can't tell you now. I am not in a position to do so. I am going away for a few days. You will wait here till I come back?"
"Unless Robin comes," she said. "And then, of course, I would leave you a message."
He nodded.
"Otherwise you will stay here?"
"If you are sure you wish it," she said.
"I do. And I am going to leave you this." He laid a packet upon the table. "It is better for you to be independent, for the sake of appearances." His iron mouth twitched a little. "Now, good-bye! You won't be more miserable than you can help?"
She smiled up at him bravely.
"No; I won't be miserable. How long shall you be gone?"
"Possibly a week, possibly a little more."
"But you will come back?" she said quickly, almost beseechingly.
"I shall certainly come back," he said.
With the words his great hand closed firmly upon hers, and she had a curious, vagrant feeling of insecurity that she could not attempt to analyse. Then abruptly he let her go. An instant his eyes still held her, and then, before she could begin to thank him, he turned to the door and was gone.
V
For ten days, that seemed to her like as many years, Sybil Denham waited in the shelter into which she had been so relentlessly thrust for an answer to her letter to Bowker Creek, and during the whole of that time she lived apart, exchanging scarcely a word with any one. Every day, generally twice a day, she went down to the wharf; but, she could not bring herself to linger. The loneliness that perpetually dogged her footsteps was almost poignant there, and sometimes she came away with panic at her heart. Suppose Mercer also should forsake her! She had not the faintest idea what she would do if he did. And yet, whenever she contemplated his return, she was afraid. There was something about the man that she had never fathomed--something ungovernable, something brutal--from which instinctively she shrank.
On the evening of the tenth day she received her answer--a letter from Rollandstown by post. The handwriting she knew so well sprawled over the envelope which her trembling fingers could scarcely open. Relief was her first sensation, and after it came a nameless anxiety. Why had he written? How was it--how was it that he had not come to her?
Trembling all over, she unfolded the letter, and read:
"Dear Sybil,--I am infernally sorry to have brought you out for nothing, for I find that I cannot marry you after all. Things have gone wrong with me of late, and it would be downright folly for me to think of matrimony under existing circumstances. I am leaving this place almost at once, so there is no chance of hearing from you again. I hope you will get on all right. Anyhow, you are well rid of me.--Yours,
"ROBIN."
Beneath the signature, scribbled very faintly, were the words, "I'm sorry, old girl; I'm sorry."
She read the letter once, and once only; but every word stamped itself indelibly upon her memory, every word bit its way into her consciousness as though it had been scored upon her quivering flesh. Robin had failed her. That ghastly presentiment of hers had come true. She was alone--alone, and sinking in that awful whirlpool of desolation into which for so long she had felt herself being drawn. The great waters swirled around her, rising higher, ever higher. And she was alone.
Hours passed. She sat in a sort of trance of horror, Robin's letter spread out beneath her nerveless fingers. She did not ask herself what she should do. The blow had stunned all her faculties. She could only sit there face to face with despair, staring blind-eyed before her, motionless, cold as marble to the very heart of her. She fancied--she even numbly hoped--that she was going to die.
She never heard repeated knocking at her door, or remembered that it
The babel here was incessant. She felt as if her senses would leave her. Piteously, like a lost child, she searched every face within her scope of vision; but she searched in vain for the face of a friend.
Later, she found herself following an official out into an open space like a great courtyard, that was crammed with vehicles. He was wheeling her luggage on a trolley. Suddenly he faced round and asked her whither she wanted to go.
She looked at him helplessly. "I am expecting someone to meet me," she said.
He stared at her in some perplexity, and finally suggested that he should set down her luggage and leave her to wait where she was.
To this she agreed, and when he had gone she seated herself on her cabin trunk and faced the situation. She was utterly alone, with scarcely any money in her possession, and no knowledge whatever of the place in which she found herself. Robin would, of course, come sooner or later, but till he came she was helpless.
What should she do, she wondered desperately? What could she do? All about her, people were coming and going. She watched them dizzily. There was not one of them who seemed to be alone. The heat and glare was intense. The clatter of wheels sounded in her ears like the roar of great waters. She felt as if she were sinking down, down through endless turmoil into a void unspeakable.
How long she had sat there she could not have said. It seemed to her hours when someone came up to her with a firm and purposeful stride, and stooping, touched her shoulder. She looked up dazedly, and saw Brett Mercer.
He said something to her, but it was as if he spoke in an unknown language. She had not the faintest idea what he meant. His face swam before her eyes. She shook her head at him vaguely, with quivering lips.
He stooped lower. She felt his arm encircle her, felt him draw her to her feet. Again he seemed to be speaking, but his words eluded her. The roar of the great waters filled her brain. Like a lost child she turned and clung to the supporting arm.
IV
Later, it seemed to her that her senses must have deserted her for a time, for she never remembered what happened to her next. A multitude of impressions crowded upon her, but she knew nothing with distinctness till she woke to find herself lying in a room with green blinds half-drawn, with Mercer stooping over her, compelling her to drink a nauseating mixture in a wine-glass.
As soon as full consciousness returned to her she refused to take another drop.
"What is it? It--it's horrible."
"It's the best stuff you ever tasted," he told her bluntly. "You needn't get up. You are all right as you are."
But she sat up, nevertheless, and looked at him confusedly. "Where am I?" she said.
He seated himself on the corner of a table that creaked loudly beneath his weight. It seemed to her that he looked even more massive than usual--a bed-rock of strength. His eyes met hers with a certain mastery.
"You are in a private room in a private hotel," he said. "I brought you here."
"In a hotel!" She stared at him for a moment, stricken silent by the information; then quickly she rose to her feet. "Oh, but I--I can't stay!" she said. "I have no money."
"I know," said Mercer. He remained seated on the table edge, his hands in his pockets, his eyes unwaveringly upon her. "That's where I come in," he told her, with a touch of aggressiveness, as though he sighted difficulties ahead. "I have money--plenty of it. And you are to make use of it."
She stood motionless, gazing at him. His eyes never left her. She could not quite fathom his look, but it was undoubtedly stern.
"Mr. Mercer," she said at last, rather piteously, "I--indeed I am grateful to you, much more than grateful. But--I can't!"
"Rubbish!" said Mercer curtly. "If you weren't a girl, I should tell you not to be a fool!"
She was clasping and unclasping her hands. It was to be a battle of wills. His rough speech revealed this to her. And she was ill-equipped for the conflict. His dominant personality seemed to deprive her of even the desire to fight. She remembered, with a sudden, burning flush, that she had clung to him only a little while before in her extremity of loneliness. Doubtless he remembered it too.
Yet she braced herself for the struggle. He could not, after all, compel her to accept his generosity.
"I am sorry," she said; "I am very sorry. But, you know, there is another way in which you can help me."
"What is that?" said Mercer.
"If you could tell me of some respectable lodging," she said. "I have enough for one night if the charges are moderate. And even after that--if Robin doesn't come--I have one or two little things I might sell. He is sure to come soon."
"And if he doesn't?" said Mercer.
Her fingers gripped each other.
"I am sure he will," she said.
"And if he doesn't?" said Mercer again.
His persistence became suddenly intolerable. She turned on him with something like anger--the anger of desperation.
"Why will you persist in trying to frighten me? I know he will come. I know he will!"
"You don't know," said Mercer. "I am not frightening you. You were afraid before you ever spoke to me."
He spoke harshly, without pity, and still his eyes dwelt resolutely upon her. He seemed to be watching her narrowly.
She did not attempt to deny his last words. She passed them by.
"I shall write to Bowker Creek. He may have mistaken the date."
"He may," said Mercer, in a tone she did not understand. "But, in the meantime, why should you turn your back upon the only friend you have at hand? It seems to me that you are making a fuss over nothing. You have been brought up to it, I daresay; but it isn't the fashion here. We are taught to take things as they come, and make the best of 'em. That's what you have got to do. It'll come easier after a bit."
"It will never come easily to me to--to live on charity," she protested, rather incoherently.
"But you can pay me back," said Brett Mercer.
She shook her head.
"Not if--if Robin----"
"I tell you, you can!" he insisted stubbornly.
"How?" She turned suddenly and faced him. There was a hint of defiance, or, rather, daring, in her manner. She met his look with unswerving resolution. "If there is a good chance of my being able to do that," she said, "even if--even if Robin fails me, I will accept your help."
"You will be able to do it," said Mercer.
"How?" she asked again.
"I will tell you," he said, "when you are quite sure that Robin has failed you."
"Tell me now!" she pleaded. "If it is some work that you can find for me to do--and I will do anything in the world that I can--it would be such a help to me to know of it. Won't you tell me what you mean? Please do!"
"No," said Mercer. "It is only a chance, and you may refuse it. I can't say. You may feel it too much for you to attempt. If you do, you will have to endure the obligation. But you shall have the chance of paying me back if you really want it."
"And you won't tell me what it is?" she said.
"No." He got to his feet, and stood looking down at her. "I can't tell you now. I am not in a position to do so. I am going away for a few days. You will wait here till I come back?"
"Unless Robin comes," she said. "And then, of course, I would leave you a message."
He nodded.
"Otherwise you will stay here?"
"If you are sure you wish it," she said.
"I do. And I am going to leave you this." He laid a packet upon the table. "It is better for you to be independent, for the sake of appearances." His iron mouth twitched a little. "Now, good-bye! You won't be more miserable than you can help?"
She smiled up at him bravely.
"No; I won't be miserable. How long shall you be gone?"
"Possibly a week, possibly a little more."
"But you will come back?" she said quickly, almost beseechingly.
"I shall certainly come back," he said.
With the words his great hand closed firmly upon hers, and she had a curious, vagrant feeling of insecurity that she could not attempt to analyse. Then abruptly he let her go. An instant his eyes still held her, and then, before she could begin to thank him, he turned to the door and was gone.
V
For ten days, that seemed to her like as many years, Sybil Denham waited in the shelter into which she had been so relentlessly thrust for an answer to her letter to Bowker Creek, and during the whole of that time she lived apart, exchanging scarcely a word with any one. Every day, generally twice a day, she went down to the wharf; but, she could not bring herself to linger. The loneliness that perpetually dogged her footsteps was almost poignant there, and sometimes she came away with panic at her heart. Suppose Mercer also should forsake her! She had not the faintest idea what she would do if he did. And yet, whenever she contemplated his return, she was afraid. There was something about the man that she had never fathomed--something ungovernable, something brutal--from which instinctively she shrank.
On the evening of the tenth day she received her answer--a letter from Rollandstown by post. The handwriting she knew so well sprawled over the envelope which her trembling fingers could scarcely open. Relief was her first sensation, and after it came a nameless anxiety. Why had he written? How was it--how was it that he had not come to her?
Trembling all over, she unfolded the letter, and read:
"Dear Sybil,--I am infernally sorry to have brought you out for nothing, for I find that I cannot marry you after all. Things have gone wrong with me of late, and it would be downright folly for me to think of matrimony under existing circumstances. I am leaving this place almost at once, so there is no chance of hearing from you again. I hope you will get on all right. Anyhow, you are well rid of me.--Yours,
"ROBIN."
Beneath the signature, scribbled very faintly, were the words, "I'm sorry, old girl; I'm sorry."
She read the letter once, and once only; but every word stamped itself indelibly upon her memory, every word bit its way into her consciousness as though it had been scored upon her quivering flesh. Robin had failed her. That ghastly presentiment of hers had come true. She was alone--alone, and sinking in that awful whirlpool of desolation into which for so long she had felt herself being drawn. The great waters swirled around her, rising higher, ever higher. And she was alone.
Hours passed. She sat in a sort of trance of horror, Robin's letter spread out beneath her nerveless fingers. She did not ask herself what she should do. The blow had stunned all her faculties. She could only sit there face to face with despair, staring blind-eyed before her, motionless, cold as marble to the very heart of her. She fancied--she even numbly hoped--that she was going to die.
She never heard repeated knocking at her door, or remembered that it
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