North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell (popular books to read .TXT) 📗

LIKES AND DISLIKES

‘My heart revolts within me, and two voices Make themselves audible within my bosom.’ WALLENSTEIN.

On Margaret’s return home she found two letters on the table: one was a note for her mother,—the other, which had come by the post, was evidently from her Aunt Shaw—covered with foreign post-marks—thin, silvery, and rustling. She took up the other, and was examining it, when her father came in suddenly:

‘So your mother is tired, and gone to bed early! I’m afraid, such a thundery day was not the best in the world for the doctor to see her. What did he say? Dixon tells me he spoke to you about her.’

Margaret hesitated. Her father’s looks became more grave and anxious:

‘He does not think her seriously ill?’

‘Not at present; she needs care, he says; he was very kind, and said he would call again, and see how his medicines worked.’

‘Only care—he did not recommend change of air?—he did not say this smoky town was doing her any harm, did he, Margaret?’

‘No! not a word,’ she replied, gravely. ‘He was anxious, I think.’

‘Doctors have that anxious manner; it’s professional,’ said he.

Margaret saw, in her father’s nervous ways, that the first impression of possible danger was made upon his mind, in spite of all his making light of what she told him. He could not forget the subject,—could not pass from it to other things; he kept recurring to it through the evening, with an unwillingness to receive even the slightest unfavourable idea, which made Margaret inexpressibly sad.

‘This letter is from Aunt Shaw, papa. She has got to Naples, and finds it too hot, so she has taken apartments at Sorrento. But I don’t think she likes Italy.’

‘He did not say anything about diet, did he?’

‘It was to be nourishing, and digestible. Mamma’s appetite is pretty good, I think.’

‘Yes! and that makes it all the more strange he should have thought of speaking about diet.’

‘I asked him, papa.’ Another pause. Then Margaret went on: ‘Aunt Shaw says, she has sent me some coral ornaments, papa; but,’ added Margaret, half smiling, ‘she’s afraid the Milton Dissenters won’t appreciate them. She has got all her ideas of Dissenters from the Quakers, has not she?’

‘If ever you hear or notice that your mother wishes for anything, be sure you let me know. I am so afraid she does not tell me always what she would like. Pray, see after that girl Mrs. Thornton named. If we had a good, efficient house-servant, Dixon could be constantly with her, and I’d answer for it we’d soon set her up amongst us, if care will do it. She’s been very much tired of late, with the hot weather, and the difficulty of getting a servant. A little rest will put her quite to rights—eh, Margaret?’

‘I hope so,’ said Margaret,—but so sadly, that her father took notice of it. He pinched her cheek.

‘Come; if you look so pale as this, I must rouge you up a little. Take care of yourself, child, or you’ll be wanting the doctor next.’

But he could not settle to anything that evening. He was continually going backwards and forwards, on laborious tiptoe, to see if his wife was still asleep. Margaret’s heart ached at his restlessness—his trying to stifle and strangle the hideous fear that was looming out of the dark places of his heart. He came back at last, somewhat comforted.

‘She’s awake now, Margaret. She quite smiled as she saw me standing by her. Just her old smile. And she says she feels refreshed, and ready for tea. Where’s the note for her? She wants to see it. I’ll read it to her while you make tea.’

The note proved to be a formal invitation from Mrs. Thornton, to Mr., Mrs., and Miss Hale to dinner, on the twenty-first instant. Margaret was surprised to find an acceptance contemplated, after all she had learnt of sad probabilities during the day. But so it was. The idea of her husband’s and daughter’s going to this dinner had quite captivated Mrs. Hale’s fancy, even before Margaret had heard the contents of the note. It was an event to diversify the monotony of the invalid’s life; and she clung to the idea of their going, with even fretful pertinacity when Margaret objected.

‘Nay, Margaret? if she wishes it, I’m sure we’ll both go willingly. She never would wish it unless she felt herself really stronger—really better than we thought she was, eh, Margaret?’ said Mr. Hale, anxiously, as she prepared to write the note of acceptance, the next day.

‘Eh! Margaret?’ questioned he, with a nervous motion of his hands. It seemed cruel to refuse him the comfort he craved for. And besides, his passionate refusal to admit the existence of fear, almost inspired Margaret herself with hope.

‘I do think she is better since last night,’ said she. ‘Her eyes look brighter, and her complexion clearer.’

‘God bless you,’ said her father, earnestly. ‘But is it true? Yesterday was so sultry every one felt ill. It was a most unlucky day for Mr. Donaldson to see her on.’

So he went away to his day’s duties, now increased by the preparation of some lectures he had promised to deliver to the working people at a neighbouring Lyceum. He had chosen Ecclesiastical Architecture as his subject, rather more in accordance with his own taste and knowledge than as falling in with the character of the place or the desire for particular kinds of information among those to whom he was to lecture. And the institution itself, being in debt, was only too glad to get a gratis course from an educated and accomplished man like Mr. Hale, let the subject be what it might.

‘Well, mother,’ asked Mr. Thornton that night, ‘who have accepted your invitations for the twenty-first?’

‘Fanny, where are the notes? The Slicksons accept, Collingbrooks accept, Stephenses accept, Browns decline. Hales—father and daughter come,—mother too great an invalid—Macphersons come, and