Paste Jewels - John Kendrick Bangs (popular books to read txt) 📗
- Author: John Kendrick Bangs
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tell of his employer's irritability when he returned home that night. As for Thaddeus, he spoke his mind very plainly--to Liscomb. Bessie never knew what he said, nor did any of the servants; but he said it to Liscomb, and, as Liscomb remarked later, he seemed like somebody else altogether while speaking, he was so fierce and determined about it all. That night a telegram came from Liscomb, saying that he had been unexpectedly delayed, and that, as there were several matters requiring his attention at his own home, he thought he would not be up again until Sunday.
Bessie was relieved, and Thaddeus was mad.
"We MUST have those rules," he said.
And so they were brought out. Ellen received them with stolid indifference; Jane with indignation, if the slamming of doors in various parts of the house that day betokened anything. Norah accepted them without a murmur. It made no difference to Norah on what day she swept the parlor, nor did she seem to care very much because her "days at home" were shifted, so that her day out was Friday instead of Thursday.
"Has Ellen said anything about the rules, my dear?" asked Thaddeus, a week or two later.
"Not a word," returned Bessie.
"Has she 'looked' anything?"
"Volumes," Bessie answered.
"Does she take exception to any of them?"
"No," said Bessie, "and I've discovered why, too. She hasn't read them."
Thaddeus was silent for a minute. Then he said, quite firmly for him, "She must read them."
"MUST is a strong word, Teddy," Bessie replied, "particularly since Ellen can't read."
"Then you ought to read them to her."
"That's what I think," Bessie answered, amiably. "I'm going to do it very soon--day after to-morrow, I guess."
"What has Jane said?" asked Thaddeus, biting his lip.
Bessie colored. Jane had expressed herself with considerable force, and Bessie had been a little afraid to tell Thaddeus what she had said and done.
"Oh, nothing much," she answered. "She--she said she'd never worn caps like a common servant, and wasn't going to begin now; and then she didn't like having to clean the silver on Saturday afternoons, because the silver-powder got into her finger-nails; and that really is too bad, Teddy, because Saturday night is the night her friends come to call, and silver-powder is awfully hard to get out of your nails, you know; and, of course, a girl wants to appear neat and clean when she has callers."
"Of course," said Thaddeus. "And I judge by the appearance of the brass fenders that she doesn't like to polish them up on Wednesday because it gives her a backache on Thursday, which is her day out."
Bessie's eyes took on their watery aspect again.
"Do the fenders look so very badly, Ted?" she asked.
"They're atrocious," said Thaddeus.
"I'm sorry, dear; but I did my best. I polished them myself this afternoon; Jane had to go to a funeral."
"Oh, my!" cried Thaddeus. "This subject's too much for me. Let's go out--somewhere, anywhere--to a concert. Music hath its charms to soothe a savage breast, and my breast is simply the very essence of wildness to-night. Put on your things, Bess, and hurry, or I'll suffocate."
Bessie did as she was told, and before ten o'clock the happy pair had forgotten their woes, nor do I think they would have remembered them again that night had they not found on their return home that they were locked out.
At this even the too amiable Bessie was angry--very angry--unjustly, as it turned out afterwards.
"They weren't to blame, after all," she explained to Thaddeus, when he came home the next night. "I spoke to them about it, and they all thought we'd spend the night with your mother and father at the Oxford."
"They're a thoughtful lot," said Thaddeus.
And so time passed. The "treasures" did as they pleased; the dubious auburn-haired Norah continued her aggravating efficiency. Bessie's days were spent in anticipation of an interview of an unpleasant nature with Jane or Ellen "to-morrow." Thaddeus's former smile grew less perpetual--that is, it was always visible when Bessie was before him, but when Bessie was elsewhere, so also was the token of Thaddeus's amiability. He chafed under the tyranny, but it never occurred to him but once that it would be well for him to interview Ellen and Jane; and then, summoning them fiercely, he addressed them mildly, ended the audience with a smile, and felt himself beneath their sway more than ever.
Then something happened. A day came and went, and the morrow thereof found Thaddeus dethroned from even his nominal position of head of the house. There was a young Thaddeus, an eight-pound Thaddeus, a round, red-cheeked, bald-headed Thaddeus that looked more like the Thaddeus of old than Thaddeus did himself; and then, at a period in which man feels himself the least among the insignificant, did our hero find happiness unalloyed once more, for to the pride of being a father was added the satisfaction of seeing Jane and Ellen acknowledge a superior. Make no mistake, you who read. It was not to Thaddeus junior that these gems bowed down. It was to the good woman who came in to care for the little one and his mother that they humbled themselves.
"She's great," said Thaddeus to himself, as he watched Jane bustling about to obey the command of the temporary mistress of the situation as she had never bustled before.
"She's a second Elizabeth," chuckled Thaddeus, as he listened to an order passed down the dumb-waiter shaft from the stout empress of the moment to the trembling queen of the kitchen.
"She's a little dictatorial," whispered Thaddeus to his newspaper, when the monarch of all she surveyed gave him HIS orders. "But there are times, even in a Republic like this, when a dictator is an advantage. I hate to see a woman cry, but the way Jane wept at the routing Mrs. Brown gave her this morning was a finer sight than Niagara."
But, alas! this happy state of affairs could not last forever. Thaddeus was just beginning to get on easy terms with Mrs. Brown when she was summoned elsewhere.
"Change of heir is necessary for one in her profession," sighed Thaddeus; and then, when he thought of resuming the reins himself, he sighed again, and wished that Mrs. Brown might have remained a fixture in the household forever. "Still," he added, more to comfort himself than because he had any decided convictions to express--"still, a baby in the house will make a difference, and Ellen and Jane will behave better now that Bessie's added responsibilities put them more upon their honor."
For a time Thaddeus's prophecy was correct. Ellen and Jane did do better for nearly two months, and then--but why repeat the old story? Then they lapsed, that is all, and became more tyrannical than ever. Bessie was so busy with little Ted that the household affairs outside of the nursery came under their exclusive control. Thaddeus stood it--I was going to say nobly, but I think it were better put ignobly--but he had a good excuse for so doing.
"A baby is an awful care to its mother," he said; "a responsibility that takes up her whole time and attention. I don't think I'd better complicate matters by getting into a row with the servants."
And so it went. A year and another year passed. The pretty home was beginning to look old. The bloom of its youth had most improperly faded--for surely a home should never fade--but there was the boy, a growing delight to his father, so why complain? Better this easy-going life than one of domestic contention.
Then on a sudden the boy fell ill. The doctor came--shook his head gravely.
"You must take him to the sea-shore," he said. "It is his only chance."
And to the sea-shore they went, leaving the house in charge of the treasures.
"I have confidence in you," said Thaddeus to Jane and Ellen on the morning of the departure, "so I have decided to leave the house open in your care. Mrs. Perkins wants you to keep it as you would if she were here. Whatever you need to make yourselves comfortable, you may get. Good-bye."
"What a comfort it is," said Bessie, when they had reached the sea- shore, and were indulging in their first bit of that woful luxury, homesickness--"what a comfort it is to feel that the girls are there to look after things! An empty house is such a temptation to thieves."
"Yes," said Thaddeus. "I hope they won't entertain too much, though."
"Ellen and Jane are too old for that sort of thing," Bessie answered.
"How about Norah?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. There was nothing really for Norah to do, so I told her she could go off and stay with her mother on board-wages."
"Good!" said Thaddeus, with a pleased smile. "It isn't a bad idea to save, particularly when you are staying at the sea-shore."
In this contented frame of mind they lived for several weeks. The boy grew stronger every day, and finally Thaddeus felt that the child was well enough to warrant his running back home for a night, "just to see how things were going." That the girls were faithful, of course, he did not doubt; the regularity with which letters addressed to him at home--and they were numerous--reached him convinced him of that; but the hamper containing the week's wash, which Ellen and Jane were to send, and which had been expected on Thursday of the preceding week, had failed for once to arrive; the boy had worn one dress four days, Thaddeus's collars were getting low, and altogether he was just a little uneasy about things. So he availed himself of his opportunity and went home, taking with him a friend, in consideration of whom he telegraphed ahead to Ellen to prepare a good breakfast, not caring for dinner, since he and his companion expected to dine at the club and go to the theatre before going out to his home.
The result would have been fatal to Bessie's peace of mind had she heard of it during her absence from home. But Thaddeus never told her, until it was a matter of ancient history, that when he arrived at home, a little after midnight, he found the place deserted, and was compelled to usher his friend in through the parlor window; that from top to bottom the mansion gave evidence of not having seen a broom or a dust-brush since the departure of the family; that Jane had not been seen in the neighborhood for one full week--this came from those living on adjoining property; that Ellen had been absent since early that morning, and was not expected to return for three days; and, crowning act of infamy, that he, Thaddeus, and his friend were compelled to breakfast next morning upon a half of a custard pie, a bit mouldy, found by the lord of the manor on the fast- melting remains of a cake of ice in the refrigerator. Whether it would have happened if Thaddeus had not been accompanied by a friend, whose laughter incited him to great deeds, or not I am not prepared to say, but something important did happen. Thaddeus
Bessie was relieved, and Thaddeus was mad.
"We MUST have those rules," he said.
And so they were brought out. Ellen received them with stolid indifference; Jane with indignation, if the slamming of doors in various parts of the house that day betokened anything. Norah accepted them without a murmur. It made no difference to Norah on what day she swept the parlor, nor did she seem to care very much because her "days at home" were shifted, so that her day out was Friday instead of Thursday.
"Has Ellen said anything about the rules, my dear?" asked Thaddeus, a week or two later.
"Not a word," returned Bessie.
"Has she 'looked' anything?"
"Volumes," Bessie answered.
"Does she take exception to any of them?"
"No," said Bessie, "and I've discovered why, too. She hasn't read them."
Thaddeus was silent for a minute. Then he said, quite firmly for him, "She must read them."
"MUST is a strong word, Teddy," Bessie replied, "particularly since Ellen can't read."
"Then you ought to read them to her."
"That's what I think," Bessie answered, amiably. "I'm going to do it very soon--day after to-morrow, I guess."
"What has Jane said?" asked Thaddeus, biting his lip.
Bessie colored. Jane had expressed herself with considerable force, and Bessie had been a little afraid to tell Thaddeus what she had said and done.
"Oh, nothing much," she answered. "She--she said she'd never worn caps like a common servant, and wasn't going to begin now; and then she didn't like having to clean the silver on Saturday afternoons, because the silver-powder got into her finger-nails; and that really is too bad, Teddy, because Saturday night is the night her friends come to call, and silver-powder is awfully hard to get out of your nails, you know; and, of course, a girl wants to appear neat and clean when she has callers."
"Of course," said Thaddeus. "And I judge by the appearance of the brass fenders that she doesn't like to polish them up on Wednesday because it gives her a backache on Thursday, which is her day out."
Bessie's eyes took on their watery aspect again.
"Do the fenders look so very badly, Ted?" she asked.
"They're atrocious," said Thaddeus.
"I'm sorry, dear; but I did my best. I polished them myself this afternoon; Jane had to go to a funeral."
"Oh, my!" cried Thaddeus. "This subject's too much for me. Let's go out--somewhere, anywhere--to a concert. Music hath its charms to soothe a savage breast, and my breast is simply the very essence of wildness to-night. Put on your things, Bess, and hurry, or I'll suffocate."
Bessie did as she was told, and before ten o'clock the happy pair had forgotten their woes, nor do I think they would have remembered them again that night had they not found on their return home that they were locked out.
At this even the too amiable Bessie was angry--very angry--unjustly, as it turned out afterwards.
"They weren't to blame, after all," she explained to Thaddeus, when he came home the next night. "I spoke to them about it, and they all thought we'd spend the night with your mother and father at the Oxford."
"They're a thoughtful lot," said Thaddeus.
And so time passed. The "treasures" did as they pleased; the dubious auburn-haired Norah continued her aggravating efficiency. Bessie's days were spent in anticipation of an interview of an unpleasant nature with Jane or Ellen "to-morrow." Thaddeus's former smile grew less perpetual--that is, it was always visible when Bessie was before him, but when Bessie was elsewhere, so also was the token of Thaddeus's amiability. He chafed under the tyranny, but it never occurred to him but once that it would be well for him to interview Ellen and Jane; and then, summoning them fiercely, he addressed them mildly, ended the audience with a smile, and felt himself beneath their sway more than ever.
Then something happened. A day came and went, and the morrow thereof found Thaddeus dethroned from even his nominal position of head of the house. There was a young Thaddeus, an eight-pound Thaddeus, a round, red-cheeked, bald-headed Thaddeus that looked more like the Thaddeus of old than Thaddeus did himself; and then, at a period in which man feels himself the least among the insignificant, did our hero find happiness unalloyed once more, for to the pride of being a father was added the satisfaction of seeing Jane and Ellen acknowledge a superior. Make no mistake, you who read. It was not to Thaddeus junior that these gems bowed down. It was to the good woman who came in to care for the little one and his mother that they humbled themselves.
"She's great," said Thaddeus to himself, as he watched Jane bustling about to obey the command of the temporary mistress of the situation as she had never bustled before.
"She's a second Elizabeth," chuckled Thaddeus, as he listened to an order passed down the dumb-waiter shaft from the stout empress of the moment to the trembling queen of the kitchen.
"She's a little dictatorial," whispered Thaddeus to his newspaper, when the monarch of all she surveyed gave him HIS orders. "But there are times, even in a Republic like this, when a dictator is an advantage. I hate to see a woman cry, but the way Jane wept at the routing Mrs. Brown gave her this morning was a finer sight than Niagara."
But, alas! this happy state of affairs could not last forever. Thaddeus was just beginning to get on easy terms with Mrs. Brown when she was summoned elsewhere.
"Change of heir is necessary for one in her profession," sighed Thaddeus; and then, when he thought of resuming the reins himself, he sighed again, and wished that Mrs. Brown might have remained a fixture in the household forever. "Still," he added, more to comfort himself than because he had any decided convictions to express--"still, a baby in the house will make a difference, and Ellen and Jane will behave better now that Bessie's added responsibilities put them more upon their honor."
For a time Thaddeus's prophecy was correct. Ellen and Jane did do better for nearly two months, and then--but why repeat the old story? Then they lapsed, that is all, and became more tyrannical than ever. Bessie was so busy with little Ted that the household affairs outside of the nursery came under their exclusive control. Thaddeus stood it--I was going to say nobly, but I think it were better put ignobly--but he had a good excuse for so doing.
"A baby is an awful care to its mother," he said; "a responsibility that takes up her whole time and attention. I don't think I'd better complicate matters by getting into a row with the servants."
And so it went. A year and another year passed. The pretty home was beginning to look old. The bloom of its youth had most improperly faded--for surely a home should never fade--but there was the boy, a growing delight to his father, so why complain? Better this easy-going life than one of domestic contention.
Then on a sudden the boy fell ill. The doctor came--shook his head gravely.
"You must take him to the sea-shore," he said. "It is his only chance."
And to the sea-shore they went, leaving the house in charge of the treasures.
"I have confidence in you," said Thaddeus to Jane and Ellen on the morning of the departure, "so I have decided to leave the house open in your care. Mrs. Perkins wants you to keep it as you would if she were here. Whatever you need to make yourselves comfortable, you may get. Good-bye."
"What a comfort it is," said Bessie, when they had reached the sea- shore, and were indulging in their first bit of that woful luxury, homesickness--"what a comfort it is to feel that the girls are there to look after things! An empty house is such a temptation to thieves."
"Yes," said Thaddeus. "I hope they won't entertain too much, though."
"Ellen and Jane are too old for that sort of thing," Bessie answered.
"How about Norah?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. There was nothing really for Norah to do, so I told her she could go off and stay with her mother on board-wages."
"Good!" said Thaddeus, with a pleased smile. "It isn't a bad idea to save, particularly when you are staying at the sea-shore."
In this contented frame of mind they lived for several weeks. The boy grew stronger every day, and finally Thaddeus felt that the child was well enough to warrant his running back home for a night, "just to see how things were going." That the girls were faithful, of course, he did not doubt; the regularity with which letters addressed to him at home--and they were numerous--reached him convinced him of that; but the hamper containing the week's wash, which Ellen and Jane were to send, and which had been expected on Thursday of the preceding week, had failed for once to arrive; the boy had worn one dress four days, Thaddeus's collars were getting low, and altogether he was just a little uneasy about things. So he availed himself of his opportunity and went home, taking with him a friend, in consideration of whom he telegraphed ahead to Ellen to prepare a good breakfast, not caring for dinner, since he and his companion expected to dine at the club and go to the theatre before going out to his home.
The result would have been fatal to Bessie's peace of mind had she heard of it during her absence from home. But Thaddeus never told her, until it was a matter of ancient history, that when he arrived at home, a little after midnight, he found the place deserted, and was compelled to usher his friend in through the parlor window; that from top to bottom the mansion gave evidence of not having seen a broom or a dust-brush since the departure of the family; that Jane had not been seen in the neighborhood for one full week--this came from those living on adjoining property; that Ellen had been absent since early that morning, and was not expected to return for three days; and, crowning act of infamy, that he, Thaddeus, and his friend were compelled to breakfast next morning upon a half of a custard pie, a bit mouldy, found by the lord of the manor on the fast- melting remains of a cake of ice in the refrigerator. Whether it would have happened if Thaddeus had not been accompanied by a friend, whose laughter incited him to great deeds, or not I am not prepared to say, but something important did happen. Thaddeus
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