Unravel - Michelle Johnson-Lane (books to read for beginners .TXT) 📗

family crisis. Matilda became severely depressed and felt like an orphan—alone in the world. She needed to talk things through and told Matilda she was uncomfortable talking about her problems in the dorm where others could hear through the paper thin walls. Tilly suggested she sit and wait for her everyday under Old Faithful, the big oak tree near the cafeteria courtyard so they could talk before they walked to the dormitory.

Under that tree, Matilda felt like she could let it all go just as if she were a patient lying on a couch in a therapy session at a shrink’s office. Never had she met a person as easy to talk to as Tilly who hardly ever said a word. She only listened, told her how sorry she was and gave her plenty of hugs. Matilda recounted all kinds of stories and Tilly assured her that she was not alone.

Matilda shared her many challenges growing up half black and half white while attending a White Only school. Most of her days began with name calling and teasing. Every day at recess, Matilda got pushed to the ground and then kicked by a different classmate. Occasionally, during her walk home from school, a few classmates would dump dirt and sometimes mud from the rain on top of Matilda’s head to darken her pale complexion.

She was taunted every day in some way or another, but Matilda said she always thought it best to keep the truth to herself when asked what had happened. Matilda always lied to her teacher, her mother, and her Aunt Ruby, convincing them she was playing in the dirt or mud. This was the beginning of Matilda’s many kept secrets.
Tilly felt the pain as Matilda outpoured from her battered soul under that tree. They’d cry together often, and Tilly would do what she could to comfort her, but Matilda needed to find peace. In Tilly’s mind, she was a tool Matilda could use to do that.

“I never thought anything about having a black momma,” Matilda said. They had just finished lunch when Matilda closed her eyes and leaned against Old Faithful. “Why was it such a big deal? Why Tilly? Why’d Dad have to leave us like that?"

Tilly said nothing but her eyes and her touch assured her friend that she was indeed listening.

“Momma never knew I heard her crying after she’d tucked me in at night,” Matilda said trying to hold back the tears. “I was crying right along with her, sometimes all night long.”

Tilly brushed Matilda’s windblown hair out of her face and tried to calm her.

“It’s not fair, Matilda. I hate this for you. No one should face that by themselves. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

Matilda also shared why her mother had denied her in school. She realized that if she told the truth, her mother could have gone to jail, and she would have had to attend the Colored Only school, where there was educational inequality. Matilda hated how people saw her as inhumane for being a product of her black mother and white father. Matilda felt she had to choose which race she wanted to be, but she couldn’t. So, she began hating herself for it.

“I think that’s what happened, Tilly,” Matilda said. “I let everyone cause me hate myself.”

“Don’t, Matilda,” Tilly pulled herself off the tree, almost snagging her new red sweater. “You are an amazing woman who has more strength than anyone I know based on your unfortunate life experiences.”
Matilda smiled. This was just like her best friend. How many conversations had they had like this one? Billions, which was why she loved her. And Tilly knew Matilda would have been there for her if the roles were reversed.

“You’re the best, you know?”

“Sure do,“ Tilly smiled, picking a fallen leaf out of Matilda’s hair. “Hey! Did I tell you about this amazing boy I met in class named Quentin Maxwell?”

Matilda suddenly became aloof, after hearing that Tilly was interested in some boy she met in class. She knew he would interfere with their friendship and rode the wave for a while.

During the remainder of the semester, they met everyday under the tree, even in the rain. Tilly had always been great about lending her shoulder, which helped Matilda through those rough times, and they promised to keep all secrets confidential.

About a month later, things came to a screeching halt for Matilda when Tilly started dating her first and only love whom she preferred to call Tin. They had a few classes together. Whenever class was out, Tilly and Tin spent all there time getting better acquainted, leaving Matilda feeling left out. They were truly mesmerized by one another. Matilda told Tilly she’d move to another dorm to allow her and Quentin their privacy. And although Tilly knew it was forbidden to sneak boys in, she was in love and willing to break the rules for Tin.

“Hey Matilda!” Tilly told Matilda late one night after coming in from a date with Tin. He took her to the drive-in, and, well, after the movie ended, they got distracted making out in the car.

“Hi,” Matilda replied in a low tone, purposely avoiding eye contact as she packed her things.

“I’m so sorry that we don’t get to spend as much time as we did before. I love and miss you so much.”
“Yeah, I know you do. I know you’re falling in love with Quentin.”
“Tin’s amazing, but he can never replace my best friend.” Tilly said, passing Matilda a goodie bag filled with her favorite snacks. She had been well aware of Matilda’s distance since she began dating Tin and felt guilty.

Matilda smiled. She missed Tilly horribly sometimes, but she loved seeing the smile on her face all the time. She thought Tilly had been too quiet during there recent talks. She rarely spoke about her past; Quentin brought her out of her shell.

“I miss you too, but I’m so happy for you. You deserve the best.”

“We’ll catch up at Old Faithful tomorrow, huh?” Tilly asked, pulling off her boots and throwing them toward the closet. She quickly pulled on night clothes and got into bed. It was always cold in Maine, and Tilly could not get enough heat in Tin’s absence.

“Um, I should be there,” Matilda said, trying to smile. She was happy for her, but at the same time, she was sad too. Lately, all Tilly talked about was her boyfriend. Her life was more about him now; she didn’t listen to Matilda like she used to. Matilda wasn’t adjusting to it well.

“Good! Tin’s taking me to lunch first, but I’ll definitely be there. Did I tell you how much he helped me in my Intro to Chemistry class? You know, the one with that odd-looking professor who barely speaks English?”

Matilda only nodded, halted her packing, and turned out the light. In the past, she let weeks pass like that. Tilly still reached out to her, but it became apparent to Matilda that she would soon be replaced. She had no one to turn to and often wondered what would she do now that she was moving out of Matilda’s dorm in a few days.

More weeks had passed, and Tilly began to notice Matilda’s absence more often. She missed seeing Matilda when she didn’t show up at Old Faithful three days in a row and wondered what had happen to her.

She became concerned and decided it was time to pay her best friend a dorm visit. When she arrived at her dormitory, Tilly noticed a box with her name written in print sitting on the floor in the hallway just outside of Matilda’s empty room. Tilly wanted privacy before she opened the box and made her way back to her room. She became emotional as she sat the box down on her bed and began opening it slowly. Tilly realized that Matilda had entrusted her with all her personal belongings and keepsakes as if she dropped out of sight, leaving all that she knew behind. Tilly assumed Matilda McGraw didn’t want to come between the new-found love she had with Tin.

She knew Matilda purposely disconnected herself from the one person who knew her best after only a few short months. Tilly just sat on her bed crying and wondering if she’d ever see Matilda again.

“I thought she understood my relationship with Tin,” Tilly said aloud to herself as she sobbed for the first time in her adult life, sitting there staring inside the box. “I know what this is Matilda McGraw, and I know why you left me. I abandoned you just like your father. I’m so sorry I got too wrapped up in Tin. You didn’t have to leave.”
Her mind drifted off to all their fun times and late night snack runs. She knew Matilda needed to find herself, and was happy she found a way to do it. Deep down, she knew her friend was OK. Tilly sat there for at least an hour, wondering if Matilda went back to Washington.

Tin suddenly interrupted Tilly’s thoughts, grabbed her from behind, and snapped her back to reality with a wet and juicy kiss. She didn’t even hear him enter her room. Tilly quickly shielded her melancholy state of mind, something she was beginning to do frequently with Tin. She knew,she had to keep her mood in check whenever she thought about Matilda.

“Whatcha thinking about, baby?” Tin asked, peering into the box she clutched to her lap.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Tilly said, shutting the box and pushing it out of his eyesight.

“You OK? What’s wrong?”

“Just bad memories. That was my Mom’s box. I got it after she died. I just miss her sometimes, like you miss your Dad.” Tilly hated to lie to him, but there were some things he didn’t need to know. Matilda’s secrets were hers and things entrusted only to Tilly.

“I know, honey. I’m sure she would be so proud of you. You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think so. There’s not much to say, I guess. Do you think we could just watch a movie together? Something dreamy and romantic?”

“Oh, Lord,” Tin groaned. “Knowing you, you probably played that card just so I’d watch a sappy romance with you. If we’re going to watch another Audrey Hepburn movie, then I’m gonna go get some ice cream first. Wanna come?”

“I’ll stay and find us a movie on the tube. Can you bring me Vanilla with sprinkles?”

“You got it, baby,” Tin said, giving her quick kiss before bounding off the bed toward the door.

Tilly sat in her dorm room alone after he left; she just wanted to remember Matilda a little longer. She thought about the day they met after Matilda’s car accident. Tilly saw how disoriented Matilda had been as she tried to make sense out of what had happened. They both were very scared and anxious. Tilly and Matilda stared at each other at first because of their similarity of practically looking like identical twins. Matilda blamed the light rain in her eyes for how she saw Tilly. She noticed Tilly’s hair was a lot short than hers. Tilly figured she stayed up too late unpacking the previous night and broke the ten-second stare down by shaking her head. She then checked on Matilda and got her the help she needed.

It wasn’t until the two sat and discussed their similar lives that they developed a bond to