Daddy's Girl - Marie B (read with me TXT) 📗

“Stop, don’t go in there.” Mom pushed me away, but not before I saw his eyes. Why didn’t I listen and not go there. Mom pushed me again and I stumbled backwards. The color of red----everywhere, and my daddy’s eyes would forever be embedded in my mind.

How do I love thee, let me count the ways. I thought the doctor had said the word----stabilized. I thought that it had meant that everything would be all right. Margie couldn’t stop crying, and John’s tears were sliding down his face. I sat next to mom, bewildered and dazed. Uncle Albert drove his car. He lit a cigarette as if he were alone in his anguish. It was a long ride home. I watched the trees fly by while we stood still in our thoughts. When we arrived at moms, we each went into our own refuges of grief.

Everything happened fast after that. We sat in folding chairs at the funeral home. No one talked, no one cried, no one shared. I looked back and saw a couple of daddy’s drinking buddies. They had swollen red eyes that were sober now, and some how I felt love for them. A kind of sorrowful love.

Love doesn’t have to explain why. It really doesn’t. it just is----unconditional. It was one month later that I sat on my mothers bed while she placed daddy’s clothes in bags and suitcases, but not his tattered gray hat. No, not daddy’s hat. It hung lopsided on the hook of the closet where we kept it for many more months. I thought of him working hard, in the garden, before sun down. He never said a word, just tied that old rag around his head. Mom sat down on the bed next to me.

“Go ahead and cry, baby girl.” She held me close to her.
“I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him. I said, looking up at her.

“You didn’t have to tell him, Neely. He knew it.” She caressed my shoulder.

“But…but…but…”

“You know, you and him was so much alike. That’s why you couldn’t get along. When you were born he was the happest father in the whole wide world. Brother Clay said, just look at that, a little John. Yo’ daddy loved you so much.” Mom brushed my hair with her hand. “And you know, he spoiled you.” She laughed. I felt as much comfort in moms words as I did in her touch. And then I thought.

“But…. I brought him juice. That wasn‘t good for his stomach.” I choked trying to stop the hurt.

“Neelly, you didn’t know. How could you have known. Don’t you worry, yo’ daddy loved you more than anything, and he knew that you loved him too, without you even hav’n to say it. It was the alcohol, baby, that‘s all…it was the alcohol,”

I hoped with all my heart and every fiber of my being, that mom was right.

We went on with our lives after that. The up’s and down’s were there. Now that I’m a senoir citizen, I look back and smile. It was those days that made me a stronger person. The love that my family have for each other never has to be explained. It just is.


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Publication Date: 08-23-2009

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