You Were Never There - Mileena Jeffery (the best novels to read TXT) 📗

know the results and if I was in trouble.
"So, I had the principal go and ask people you and Jeremy associate with to see if there was any similarities between how you and Jeremy treat other students, and each other. We found that more students say that Jeremy is kinder to others, whereas you seem to have a more rude tone and just inflection. Jeremy hasn't had any other reports made against him, but you have. That time when you punched another student, if you recall."
"That was an accident!" I interrupted.
"Doesn't matter. A report was made and you were guilty. Punishment was given. Anyway, the conclusion we came up with was, Eve, you are the one who is lying. Jeremy's story was taken as the truth."
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I started to have an anxiety attack. I wanted to cry but I held it back. I started to shake and my heart pounded. "W-what does that mean for me?" I managed to say.
"Well, a week of suspension and a restraining order from Jeremy to start. But... we're going to probably need to take it to court since it is rape."
"But I didn't rape him!" I started to cry. "I'm not lying! He is! I don't do things like this! I haven't even had my first kiss! I haven't had a boyfriend! Why would...." I fell down to my knees and covered my face with my hands.
"I'm sorry Eevee, but it's protocol."
"Don't call me that."
"Sorry, Eve." I continued to sob. "We'll be calling your parents Monday to explain what happened. This is a huge offense. I'm sorry Eve but there's nothing I can do. This is really serious. Just go back to class."
I slowly got up and wiped tears from my eyes. That was useless since I couldn't stop crying. I walked out of the room, but not towards my classroom, I went into the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I was feeling so much and it all swirled inside me. I didn't know what to do, how to feel. I was angry from the results, perturbed from what would happen next, depressed, annoyed, so many emotions heavily weighed on me. I was sobbing noisily, shaking. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it in my head. The pressure pierced my skull, like a needle was stabbing my brain each time my heart jolted inside of me. The anxiety made me sick to my stomach. It was like stage fright, but so much worse, instead of being frozen, and not knowing what to say, you were shaking with fear, with sadness, with pain. It was like feeling your heart get broken and it keeps breaking. The feeling of unease coursing through me as if it was my blood. All of this and my thoughts, contained in my mind was a nightmare. I fell to the floor and stayed there shaking with noiseless sobs. The tears stopped too. But the sadness didn't. My body ached with the pain of sorrow. My life was ruined. Once my parents got the call...wait. I sat up quickly and realized once my parents got the call they'd understand it wasn't me. They knew how good of a girl I was and that I wouldn't do anything like that, right? They'd have to. I hope. There was still the whole court thing though with the restraining order and shit. Hopefully it'd get worked out. My anxiety eased a little when I thought of that. The final bell of the day rang.
I rushed home quickly after that, though I had to ride the bus, I wished it'd go faster. I stared out the window and watched as we left town, making stops every few houses. The trees were shedding leaves with colors ranging from red to brown. The bus passed a beautiful house a few miles away from mine. I always would imagine what the inside looked like. It was a Victorian styled house painted a light mint green with white accents by the window frames. The roof was made up of black shingles. I always liked to imagine the furniture inside was Victorian era too. I dreamed of owning a house like that, though in reality I'd probably get stuck with something else. In the yard was a tall weeping willow tree and an iron fence. The entrance didn't have a gate, it was just an open space where there was no fencing. A stone path lead to the door. My mind slowly eased away from my daydream and back to reality. Betty told me the call wouldn't happen until Monday. I hoped when I got home mom would be in a good mood so I could convince her to not be mad. The bus turned onto my road. I grabbed my backpack and put it on, preparing to get off on my stop. When I did get off I raced up my driveway to the house. "Mom!" I shouted when I walked through the door.
"In my room." By the time she finished her sentence, I was in front of her bedroom door. I had raced up the stairs two at a time. I knocked on the door waiting for approval to enter. I had learned from previous experiences to knock before I entered her room. I'd get scolded or yelled at or even slapped depending on the severity of what I had seen from entering too soon.
"Mom," I started to say once I had entered, "Something happened at school."
She looked up from the magazine she was reading. "Oh?" She cocked her head to the side.
"I...um...got bullied."
"Aww, sweetie, what happened?"
I sat down on her bed. "Yeah. It's been happening for a while. It just wasn't very bad, until now." My heart started racing. "During science I got locked in the back room with Jeremy. He's been the one who bullies me the most." As I got closer to telling her what really happened my hands started to shake. I felt faint. "And when we were locked back there he pushed me to the ground and called me a slut." Oh god, "And lunch was next so I figured after that I'd report what happened, but when I did, apparently Jeremy had been there before I was. He lied and said that I forced myself on him when we were locked in the room together. But I didn't, I would never do anything like that. He's repulsive." I sighed. "That's not all either. Betty and the principle decided that Jeremy's story was more believable and now I'm getting in trouble for something I would never do. They told me they were going to call you Monday about it." I looked away from her.
I heard her take a deep breath. "When did this happen?"
My whole body started shaking and I felt tears in my eyes. "Monday. She told me they'd investigate it and tell me the results Friday. I didn't want you to get mad." I could feel the lump in my throat.
"Why would I get mad?" I couldn't help it. I started to bawl. Sobs wracked my body. My anxiety was tearing me apart. "Aww, Eevee, it's okay. I promise."
"How can you promise that?" It was a mere whisper. My voice sounded stressed and broken. For what seemed like an eternity I sat there crying while mom comforted me. I stared at the pale pink wall imagining how much worse life could get. The tears blurred my vision. The paintings and pictures that were hung up blurred together. Just a swirl of colors. My body ached. All of the emotions I felt were buried beneath my skin, fighting to get free. It was a terrible feeling that wouldn't stop once I stopped crying. It was like a monster inside me, clawing to get free. I didn't know how to free it. This was such a new sensation, the pain, it was torturous. The tears finally stopped. I stared at the wall trying to sort out all the events that took place this week. "What are you gonna do?"
She sighed. "I don't know, I mean I'm on your side of course, but Jesus. How did you let this happen, Eve? I know you didn't mean too but still. Why would they do this to you?"
"They hate me. I'm not very likable."
"It's only Friday. We still have a couple days to figure this out, so I'll think about it and when I get the call, what happens happens I guess."
"Yeah," I said half heartedly. I got up and went to my room. What was I going to do about this? What was going to happen to me? To my life because of this? Why did everybody hate me all of a sudden...? I didn't know the answers to any of those questions and it scared me so much. My body ached for answers, and so did my mind. I laid down in bed, hoping answers would suddenly appear. My body was exhausted with the pain of anxiety and stress. I decided to sleep.

 

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Publication Date: 09-27-2017

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Dedication:
I want to just take a moment to thank my close friends and boyfriend for helping me with my struggle. This story is based on my life and struggle I have had with anxiety and depresssion. I still do. But I am a lot better thanks to those people. YOU CAN DO THIS! If you or anyone you know struggles like I have and many other, please seek help.