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CD organizers throughout the house. Sometimes it's fun just to flip through, see what girls read.
There's nothing wrong with a boy subscribing to Seventeen, is there? No, because Nina told me she actually likes it when I subscribe to those magazines. Besides, the real life stories are fascinating. I read a short article about a girl being scratched by a mountain lion, and she didn't go to the hospital! Another girl got struck by lightning.
I read through all those stories. Interesting. I flipped to the love part. Shoot, the magazine was telling vital secrets. Darn. Well, some of them were guys. Hot Guy Panel List? Hmm.

My thoughts turned back to David. He'd been perfect. Well, almost. My heart leaped at the thought of kissing him. He was so beautiful, with his long blond hair and perfect figure. He was strong, powerful. The opposite of me. I knew all this, and I wanted him now. No, I needed him now. I wasn't sure if it was love or lust I was feeling.

Enough of this, I told myself. I have to call him. He picked up on the fourth ring. "H-e-l-lo," he said.

 

 

"It's Tobias," I answered.

 

 

"Baby! What makes someone like you call someone like me?"

"Maybe I have to know what you feel about me," I replied. He paused.

"I want to say I love you, but that's not quite right. Pretty damn close, though," was his answer.

"Oh." I simply said. I wanted him to say he loved me, not that. "How about you?" he said quickly. "How do you feel about me?" I paused for a moment. "I think that I am in love with you, " I answered honestly. He didn't say anything.

"You shouldn't." he said, then he hung up. I felt betrayed, yet I also felt happy. Does that make sense?

 I hoped so. I looked up at my ceiling.  I sat up and opened my laptop. I Googled David Berkinschiemer. To my surprise, I saw his mug shot.

David's Secret


He'd been arrested before, several times. For underage drinking, driving with a suspended license, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest, obstruction of justice, and fighting. I knew he fought. He'd shown me. He obviously trusted me, but I was beginning to wonder if I could trust him. He was not good news, but who doesn't like a bad boy, even secretly?

I figured I'd give him a break. I figured dating me would change him a little. I admit it, most of the time I'm Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. Maybe that's what David liked about me. Maybe. I hoped so. I hoped he didn't just like me for my looks like a lot of people do. I have blond hair and brown eyes. I am in the top five in my class.

 

I held David against me. He had his head on my chest. We had just made hardknocking love. So hard I literally almost passed out from sheer giddiness. He actually had passed out and was now sleeping. I massaged his scalp, feeling his soft hair. I sat up a little bit; David grunted.

"Don't move," he said and brought himself up to face me. "Close your eyes." he ordered. I did so, and felt his lips on mine a few seconds later. He rubbed his stomach against me. He was warm.

"You are so freaking hot. I think I actually am in love with you, Tobias Shane Grass." he said. "I know for a fact that I am in love with you, David Chris Berkinschiemer." He smiled and pecked my lips again. He pulled the comforter over us and he started pumping. I gasped and panted as he moved. I wasn't worried about someone coming in. We were at David's house. Mom thought I was spending the night at Michael's. His parents would be gone for the weekend.

He rolled me over so I was on top. I was self-conscious about my belly and didn't like this. I paused. "What's wrong?" David asked, looking worried. "I don't like this. Turn me over." I said. "With pleasure. Pun intended." he replied. I smiled.

He pumped so hard I thought I was going to explode. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"No, keep going!" I yanked him closer and ended up pulling us both off of the bed.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Well, don't be," he said, pushing a lock of hair out of my face. "I've never gotten that type of reaction before. It makes me tingle all over." He cupped my chin with both hands. We were still tangled up, but neither of us had any intention of going for air yet. I felt my own heart beat as I gazed into his midnight blue eyes. He smiled and fought his way out the comforter, leaving me even more tangled but at least I could breathe. He ran into the bathroom.

"Fuck." I heard him say. "What's wrong, baby?" "It broke. It's ripped in half. I can't even get it off." At that I walked into the bathroom and found him struggling. I helped him ease it off. He gazed at me and touched my shoulders. His mouth opened a little. He seemed to struggle for the right words to say.

"I never want to hurt you." he said. "I love you so much, Tobias. So much it hurts. I know this is going fast, but what we just did was incredible. I've never felt my insides feel so hollow. In a good way." He pulled me so close...so close I almost couldn't breathe. He pushed me away as soon as he realized that. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. I wrapped my arms around him. "It's okay."

He touched my lips lightly. At this romantic moment, I heard my cell phone go off, playing the song that I've entitled my mother with. Green Day's "American Idiot", she replays it over and over again.

"Mom?" I replied.

"Baby, I have a surprise. You might not like this, but...eh, I'll wait until dinner tonight. It's a family matter. I have yet to tell your brother. When will you be home?"

"Probably in an hour."

"Perfect. Be home soon, son. Love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye." And we clicked off. I paused for a moment. Then my phone rang. It was Nina.

"Hey, hottie!" she said, sounding perkier than usual. "Party at The Warehouse. Everyone who's anyone is going to be there. Plus David. I just texted him and said you'll be there. There's no way he'll say no. He's crazy about you."

"I just talked to him. He said that doesn't necessarily love me-"

"Pish posh! He's nuts about you! If a bullet was heading toward your chest, he'd jump right inbetween you and the bullet and let himself get shot!" Her words made me feel better about myself, and my and David's relationship. I was insecure, yes. I am an insecure person, and I admit it. It's one reason why some of my relationships haven't worked out, insecurity. I am an okay boyfriend otherwise, except when I slapped Sophia and got angry at her. A part of me still loved her, I realized. Yet, I also loved David. I decided to talk to my brother.  Still holding my cell phone, I knocked on his door.

"Well, I've gotta go. Bye, gorgeous!" Nina said cheerily.

"Bye, beautiful." I said, pressing the red button.

Tony opened the door. He was watching Beowulf. He smiled.

"Brother, watch this with me. I've got snacks and stuff." He handed me a bottle of root beer. I popped the cap and took a sip. Tony handed me a piece of chocolate. I nibbled it. I sat on his bed by him. Tony is a huge movie lover, and he wants to go to school to become a director, like I want to become a producer. I told him my feelings. 

"Have you ever been in this position?" I asked. He nodded. "Spring and Keisha." he explained. Spring, the crazy ex-girlfriend and Keisha, the drop-dead gorgeous African American girlfriend.

"I just went with the flow and let myself get caught up in Keisha's love and beauty. I love holding her in my arms, feeling her lips on my cheek, touching her strawberry-smelling hair."

"Tony."

He blushed. "Sorry you had to hear that, Tobi." He readjusted himself so he was laying down inside of sitting. He rubbed his chest. I leaned against him, feeling the need for David. A huge part of me couldn't get him out of my mind.

 

 

Later at dinner, Mom pushed her plate away and folded her hands under her chin.

 

"Boys." she said.

 

"Mother." Tony replied right before shoving a forkful of bell pepper in his mouth.

"That's really attractive." I said sarcastically. Mom chuckled. She got really serious then.

"Boys, I'm pregnant." Tony actually choked so hard that I slapped his back. When that didn't work, I stepped around him and wrapped my arms around his stomach. When he coughed it out, he looked directly at Mom.

"I thought you said you're pregnant?" he asked. Mom nodded.

"With twins. I don't know the sexes; I'd like to be surprised."

"Are they Dad's?" I asked. She nodded.

"I know I'm thirty nine, but whatever."

"Have you thought of names?" I said. She nodded again.

"I'm thinking Teresa if at least one's a girl. If the other one's a boy, his name will be Thomas."

"Isn't Tobias enough?" Tony joked. I thumped the back of his head.

Mom giggled. "Boys. The point is that I'm pregnant with your siblings."

I was happy, but I was also nervous. The only sibling I've ever had for fifteen years is Tony. I didn't know waht to think about all this. Tony didn't either; as he was silent for the rest of dinner and afterwards he went straight up into his room and started watching funny YouTube videos. I know the last part because when I went up upstairs to get ready for bed later I heard him blasting the volume. This was probably too much for him to handle. Plus, he'd been really secretive lately. I knew he was keeping something from me but I didn't know what.

I called David, but he didn't answer, nor did he call back or even text me. I was disappointed, but I figured he was working. I hoped he'd be okay.

 

He did finally call me, three minutes after midnight.

"I'm sorry I missed your call," he said, out of breath.

"It's midnight and I'm tired." I said irritably.

"I'm sorry, baby, but I've been working."

"I can see that."

"Look, I'll make it up to you. Dinner, Saturday at seven? I'll pay."

"Whatever." I tried to hang up, but he wanted to stay on.

"So what's new?" he asked.

"I just found out my mother is pregnant with twins."

"Awesome. Boys, girls, or both?"

"We don't know yet."

"All right. Well, I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll pick you up before school tomorrow."

"Again, whatever. Good night David."

"Good night. I love you."

I hesitated for a moment. "I love you, too."  Then I hung up on him. I was thoroughly irritated with him.

 

 

 

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