Jack - Alphonse Daudet (inspirational books .TXT) 📗

I call him?"
She disengaged her hands, threw her arms around his neck, and with one of those sudden impulses that prevented her from being utterly unworthy, exclaimed, "You are right, Jack; I am your mother, and only your mother!"
Some days after this scene, Jack wrote the following letter to M. Rivals:--
"My Dear Friend: She has left me, and gone back to him. It all happened in such an unexpected manner that I have not yet recovered from the blow. Alas! she of whom I must complain is my mother. It would be more dignified to keep silence, but I cannot. I knew in my childhood a negro lad who said, 'If the world could not sigh, the world would stifle!' I never fully understood this until to-day, for it seems to me that if I do not write you this letter, that I could not live. I could not wait until Sunday because I could not speak before Cecile. I told you of the explanation that man and I had, did I not? Well, from that time my mother was so very sad, and seemed so worn out by the scene she had gone through, that I resolved to change our residence. I understood that a battle was being fought, and that, if I wished her to be victorious, if I wished to keep my mother with me, that I must employ all means and devices. Our street and house displeased her. I wanted something gayer and more airy. I hired then at Charonne Rue de Silas three rooms newly papered. I furnished these rooms with great care. All the money I had saved--pardon me these details--I devoted to this purpose. Belisaire aided me in moving, while Zenaide was in the same street, and I counted on her in many ways. All these arrangements were made secretly, and I hoped a great surprise and pleasure was in store for my mother. The place was as quiet as a village street, the trees were well grown and green, and I fancied that she would, when established there, have less to regret in the country-life she had so much enjoyed.
"Yesterday evening everything was in readiness. Belisaire was to tell her that I was waiting for her at the Rondics, and then he was to take her to our new home. I was there waiting; white curtains hung at all the windows, and great bunches of roses were on the chimney. I had made a little fire, for the evening was cool, and it gave a home look to the room. In the midst of my contentment I had a sudden presentiment. It was like an electric spark. 'She will not come.' In vain did I call myself an idiot, in vain did I arrange and rearrange her chair and her footstool. I knew that she would never come. More than once in my life I have had these intuitions. One might believe that Fate, before striking her heaviest blows, had a moment of compassion, and gave me a warning.
"She did not come, but Belisaire brought a note from her. It was very brief, merely stating that M. D'Argenton was very ill, and that she regarded it as her duty to watch at his side. As soon as he was well she would return. Ill! I had not thought of that. I might call myself ill, too, and keep her at my bedside. How well he understood her, the wretch! How thoroughly he had studied that weak but kindly nature! You remember those 'attacks' he talked of at Etiolles, and which so soon disappeared after a good dinner. It is one of those which he now has. But my mother was only too glad of an excuse, and allowed herself to be deceived. But to return to my story. Behold me alone in this little home, amid all the wasted efforts, time and money! Was it not cruel? I could not remain there; I returned to my old room. The house seemed to me as sad as a funeral-chamber. I permitted the fire to die out, and the roses wither and fall on the marble hearth below with a gentle rustle. I took the rooms for two years, and I shall keep them with something of the same superstition with which one preserves for a long time the cage from which some favorite bird has flown. If my mother returns we will go there together. But if she does not I shall never inhabit the place. I have now told you all, but do not let Cecile see this letter. Ah, my friend, will she too desert me? The treachery of those we love is terrible indeed. But of what am I thinking; I have her word and her promise, and Cecile always tells the truth."


CHAPTER XXII.~~CECILE UNHAPPY RESOLVE.
Fob a long time Jack had faith that his mother would return. In the morning, in the evening, in the silence of midday, he fancied that he heard the rustling of her dress, her light step on the threshold. When he went to the Rondics he glanced at the little house, hoping to see the windows opened and Ida installed in the refuge, the address of which, with the key, he had sent to her: "The house is ready. Come when you will." Not a word in reply. The desertion was final and absolute.
Jack was in great grief. When our mothers do us harm, it wounds and grieves us, and seems like a direct cruelty from the hand of God. But Cecile was the magician to cure him; she knew just the words to use, and her delicate tenderness defied the rough trials of destiny. A great resource to him at this time was hard work, which is one's best defence against sorrow and regrets. While his mother had been with him, she, without knowing it, had often prevented him from working. Her indecision had been at times very harassing. She sometimes was all ready to go out, with hat and shawl on, when she would suddenly decide to remain at home. Now that she was gone, he took rapid strides and regained his lost time. Each Sunday he went to Etiolles; he was at once more in love, and wiser. The doctor was delighted with the progress of his pupil; before a year was over, he said, if he went on in this way, he could take his degree.
These words thrilled Jack with joy, and when he repeated them to Belisaire, the little attic positively glowed and palpitated with happiness. Madame Belisaire was suddenly filled with a desire to learn, and her husband must teach her to read. But while M. Rivals was pleased at Jack's progress with his books, he was discontented with the state of his health; the old cough had come back, his eyes were feverish and his hands hot.
"I do not like this," said the good man; "you work too hard; you must stop; you have plenty of time: Cecile does not mean to run away."
Never had the girl been more loving and tender; she seemed to feel that she mast take his mother's place as well as her own; and it was precisely this sweetness that induced Jack to make greater exertions each day. His bodily frame was in the same condition as that of the Fakirs of India--urged to such a point of feverish excitement that pain becomes a pleasure. He was grateful to the cold of his little attic, and to the hard dry cough that kept him from sleeping. Sometimes at his writing-table he suddenly felt lightness throughout all his being--a strange clearness of perception and an extraordinary excitement of all his intellectual faculties; but this was accompanied with great physical exhaustion.
His work went like lightning, and all the difficulties of his task disappeared. He would have gone on thus to the end of his labor, had he not received a painful shock. A telegram arrived:
"Do not come to-morrow; we are going away for a week.
Rivals."
Jack received that despatch just as Madame Belisaire had ironed his fine linen for the next day. The suddenness of this departure, the brevity of the despatch, and even the printed characters instead of his friend's well-known writing, affected him most painfully. He expected a letter from Cecile or the doctor to explain the mystery, but nothing came, and for a week he was a prey to suspense and anxiety. The truth was: neither Cecile nor the doctor had left home, but that M. Rivals wished for time to prepare the youth for an unexpected blow--for a decision of Cecile's so extraordinary that he hoped his granddaughter would be induced to reconsider it. One evening, on coming into the house, he had found Cecile in a state of singular agitation; her lips were pale but firmly closed. He tried to make her smile at the dinner-table, but in vain; and suddenly, in reply to some remark of his in regard to Jack's coming, she said, "I do not wish him to come."
He looked at her in amazement. She was as pale as death, but in a firm voice she repeated, "I do not wish him to come on Sunday, or ever again."
"What is the matter, my child?"
"Nothing, dear grandfather, save that I can never marry Jack."
"You frighten me, Cecile! Tell me what you mean."
"I am simply beginning to understand myself. I do not love him; I was mistaken."
"Good heavens, child, are you quite mad? You have had some childish misunderstanding."
"No, grandpapa, I assure you that I have for Jack a sister's friendship, nothing more. I cannot be his wife."
The doctor was startled. "Cecile," he said, gravely, "do you love any other person?"
She colored. "No; but I do not wish to marry;" and to all that M. Rivals said she would make no other reply.
He asked her what would be said, what would be thought by their little world. "Remember," he said, "that to Jack this will be a frightful blow; his whole future will be sacrificed."
Cecile's pale features quivered nervously. Her grandfather took her hand.
"My child," he said, "think well before you decide a question of such importance."
"No," she answered; "the sooner he knows my decision the better for us both. I know that I am going to pain him deeply, but the longer we delay the worse it will be, and I cannot see him again until he knows the truth; I am incapable of such treachery."
"Then you mean to give the boy his dismissal," said the doctor, in a rage. "Good heavens! what strange creatures women are!"
She looked at him with such an expression of despair that he stopped short.
"No, no, little girl, I am not angry with you. It is my fault more than yours. You were too young to know your own mind. I am an old fool, and shall always be one until the bitter end."
Then came the painful duty of writing to Jack. He began a dozen letters, destroyed them all, and finally sent the telegram, hoping that Cecile would have come to her senses before the week was over.
The next Saturday, when Dr. Rivals said to his granddaughter, "He will come to-morrow; is your decision irrevocable?"
"Irrevocable," she said, slowly.
Jack arrived early on Sunday. When he reached the door the servant said, "My master is waiting for you in the garden."
Jack felt chilled to the heart, and the doctor's face increased his fears, for he, though for forty years accustomed to the sight of human suffering, was as troubled as Jack.
"Cecile is here--is she not?" were the youth's first words.
"No, my friend, I left her--at--where we have been, you know; and she will remain