The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (reading an ebook TXT) 📗

hear more about it.”

 

“I would advise you,” Alyosha went on warmly, “not to send him

to school at all for a time till he is calmer. and his anger is

passed.”

 

“Anger!” the captain repeated, “that’s just what it is. He is a

little creature, but it’s a mighty anger. You don’t know all, sir. Let

me tell you more. Since that incident all the boys have been teasing

him about the ‘wisp of tow.’ Schoolboys are a merciless race,

individually they are angels, but together, especially in schools,

they are often merciless. Their teasing has stiffed up a gallant

spirit in Ilusha. An ordinary boy, a weak son, would have submitted,

have felt ashamed of his father, sir, but he stood up for his father

against them all. For his father and for truth and justice. For what

he suffered when he kissed your brother’s hand and cried to him

‘Forgive father, forgive him,’- that only God knows-and I, his

father. For our children-not your children, but ours-the children of

the poor gentlemen looked down upon by everyone-know what justice

means, sir, even at nine years old. How should the rich know? They

don’t explore such depths once in their lives. But at that moment in

the square when he kissed his hand, at that moment my Ilusha had

grasped all that justice means. That truth entered into him and

crushed him for ever, sir,” the captain said hotly again with a sort

of frenzy, and he struck his right fist against his left palm as

though he wanted to show how “the truth” crushed Ilusha. “That very

day, sir, he fell ill with fever and was delirious all night. All that

day he hardly said a word to me, but I noticed he kept watching me

from the corner, though he turned to the window and pretended to be

learning his lessons. But I could see his mind was not on his lessons.

Next day I got drunk to forget my troubles, sinful man as I am, and

I don’t remember much. Mamma began crying, too-I am very fond of

mamma-well, I spent my last penny drowning my troubles. Don’t despise

me for that, sir, in Russia men who drink are the best. The best men

amongst us are the greatest drunkards. I lay down and I don’t remember

about Ilusha, though all that day the boys had been jeering at him

at school. ‘Wisp of tow,’ they shouted, ‘your father was pulled out of

the tavern by his wisp of tow, you ran by and begged forgiveness.’

 

“On the third day when he came back from school, I saw he looked

pale and wretched. ‘What is it?’ I asked. He wouldn’t answer. Well,

there’s no talking in our mansion without mamma and the girls taking

part in it. What’s more, the girls had heard about it the very first

day. Varvara had begun snarling. ‘You fools and buffoons, can you ever

do anything rational?’ ‘Quite so,’ I said,‘can we ever do anything

rational?’ For the time I turned it off like that. So in the evening I

took the boy out for a walk, for you must know we go for a walk

every evening, always the same way, along which we are going now-from

our gate to that great stone which lies alone in the road under the

hurdle, which marks the beginning of the town pasture. A beautiful and

lonely spot, sir. Ilusha and I walked along hand in hand as usual.

He has a little hand, his fingers are thin and cold-he suffers with

his chest, you know. ‘Father,’ said he, ‘father!’ ‘Well?’ said I. I

saw his eyes flashing. ‘Father, how he treated you then!’ ‘It can’t be

helped, Ilusha,’ I said. ‘Don’t forgive him, father, don’t forgive

him! At school they say that he has paid you ten roubles for it.’

‘No Ilusha,’ said I, ‘I would not take money from him for anything.’

he began trembling all over, took my hand in both his and kissed it

again. ‘Father,’ he said, ‘father, challenge him to a duel, at

school they say you are a coward and won’t challenge him, and that

you’ll accept ten roubles from him.’ ‘I can’t challenge him to a duel,

Ilusha,’ I answered. And I told briefly what I’ve just told you. He

listened. ‘Father,’ he said, anyway don’t forgive it. When I grow up

I’ll call him out myself and kill him.’ His eyes shone and glowed. And

of course I am his father, and I had to put in a word: ‘It’s a sin

to kill,’ I said, ‘even in a duel.’ ‘Father,’ he said, ‘when I grow

up, I’ll knock him down, knock the sword out of his hand, I’ll fall on

him, wave my sword over him and say: “I could kill you, but I

forgive you, so there!”’ You see what the workings of his little

mind have been during these two days; he must have been planning

that vengeance all day, and raving about it at night.

 

“But he began to come home from school badly beaten, I found out

about it the day before yesterday, and you are right, I won’t send him

to that school any more. I heard that he was standing up against all

the class alone and defying them all, that his heart was full of

resentment, of bitterness-I was alarmed about him. We went for

another walk. ‘Father,’ he asked, ‘are the rich people stronger than

anyone else on earth?’ ‘Yes, Ilusha,’ I said, ‘there are no people

on earth stronger than the rich.’ ‘Father,’ he said, ‘I will get rich,

I will become an officer and conquer everybody. The Tsar will reward

me, I will come back here and then no one will dare- ‘ Then he was

silent and his lips still kept trembling. ‘Father,’ he said, ‘what a

horrid town this is.’ ‘Yes, Ilusha,’ I said, ‘it isn’t a very nice

town.’ ‘Father, let us move into another town, a nice one,’ he said,

‘where people don’t know about us.’ ‘We will move, we will, Ilusha,’

said I, ‘only I must save up for it.’ I was glad to be able to turn

his mind from painful thoughts, and we began to dream of how we

would move to another town, how we would buy a horse and cart. ‘We

will put mamma and your sisters inside, we will cover them up and

we’ll walk, you shall have a lift now and then, and I’ll walk

beside, for we must take care of our horse, we can’t all ride.

That’s how we’ll go.’ He was enchanted at that, most of all at the

thought of having a horse and driving him. For of course a Russian boy

is born among horses. We chattered a long while. Thank God, I thought,

I have diverted his mind and comforted him.

 

“That was the day before yesterday, in the evening, but last night

everything was changed. He had gone to school in the morning, he

came back depressed, terribly depressed. In the evening I took him

by the hand and we went for a walk; he would not talk. There was a

wind blowing and no sun, and a feeling of autumn; twilight was

coming on. We walked along, both of us depressed. ‘Well, my boy,’ said

I, ‘how about our setting off on our travels?’ I thought I might bring

him back to our talk of the day before. He didn’t answer, but I felt

his fingers trembling in my hand. Ah, I thought, it’s a bad job;

there’s something fresh. We had reached the stone where we are now.

I sat down on the stone. And in the air there were lots of kites

flapping and whirling. There were as many as thirty in sight. Of

course, it’s just the season for the kites. ‘Look, Ilusha,’ said I,

‘it’s time we got out our last year’s kite again. I’ll mend it;

where have you put it away?’ My boy made no answer. He looked away and

turned sideways to me. And then a gust of wind blew up the sand. He

suddenly fell on me, threw both his little arms round my neck and held

me tight. You know, when children are silent and proud, and try to

keep back their tears when they are in great trouble and suddenly

break down, their tears fall in streams. With those warm streams of

tears, he suddenly wetted my face. He sobbed and shook as though he

were in convulsions, and squeezed up against me as I sat on the stone.

‘Father,’ he kept crying, ‘dear father, how he insulted you!’ And I

sobbed too. We sat shaking in each other’s arms. ‘Ilusha,’ I said to

him, ‘Ilusha, darling.’ No one saw us then. God alone saw us; I hope

He will record it to my credit. You must thank your brother, Alexey

Fyodorovitch. No, sir, I won’t thrash my boy for your satisfaction.”

 

He had gone back to his original tone of resentful buffoonery.

Alyosha felt, though, that he trusted him, and that if there had

been someone else in his, Alyosha’s place, the man would not have

spoken so openly and would not have told what he had just told. This

encouraged Alyosha, whose heart was trembling on the verge of tears.

 

“Ah, how I would like to make friends with your boy!” he cried.

“If you could arrange it- “

 

“Certainly, sir,” muttered the captain.

 

“But now listen to something quite different!” Alyosha went on. “I

have a message for you. That same brother of mine, Dmitri, has

insulted his betrothed, too, a noble-hearted girl of whom you have

probably heard. I have a right to tell you of her wrong; I ought to do

so, in fact, for, hearing of the insult done to you and learning all

about your unfortunate position, she commissioned me at once-just

now-to bring you this help from her-but only from her alone, not

from Dmitri, who has abandoned her. Nor from me, his brother, nor from

anyone else, but from her, only from her! She entreats you to accept

her help….You have both been insulted by the same man. She thought

of you only when she had just received a similar insult from him-similar in its cruelty, I mean. She comes like a sister to help a

brother in misfortune…. She told me to persuade you to take these

two hundred roubles from her, as from a sister, knowing that you are

in such need. No one will know of it, it can give rise to no unjust

slander. There are the two hundred roubles, and I swear you must

take them unless-unless all men are to be enemies on earth! But there

are brothers even on earth…. You have a generous heart… you must

see that, you must,” and Alyosha held out two new rainbow-coloured

hundred-rouble notes.

 

They were both standing at the time by the great stone close to

the fence, and there was no one near. The notes seemed to produce a

tremendous impression on the captain. He started, but at first only

from astonishment. Such an outcome of their conversation was the

last thing he expected. Nothing could have been farther from his

dreams than help from anyone-and such a sum!

 

He took the notes, and for a minute he was almost unable to

answer, quite a new expression came into his face.

 

“That for me? So much money-two hundred roubles! Good heavens!

Why, I haven’t seen so much money for the last four years! Mercy on

us! And she says she is a sister…. And is that the truth?”

“I swear that all I told you is the truth,“cried Alyosha.

 

The captain flushed red.

 

“Listen, my dear, listen. If I take it, I shan’t be