Field of Blackbirds - Clayton Jeppsen & Lindsey Jeppsen (me reader txt) 📗

delivered more punishment. It was all so unusual for him. He felt that he was introduced to a small part of who he was, and he didn’t hate it entirely.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Marcielli entered the market square. Church bells caught his attention. He was late again. Pigeons flew from the bell tower, as if the sound was something foreign to them. ‘Duomo,’ the famous gothic cathedral, the church looked old. Marcielli even wondered how old. It seemed sturdy, but tired. Every crack was another sin belonging to some poor soul. Every mark or shade of gray was another's pain, fear or disbelief. Religion was redundant and boring to Marcielli. He never really believed. He saw a priest walking along side two nuns toward the church. Marcielli stopped. A bizarre feeling swept over him, ‘Duomo’ was staring at him, pleading with him. Marcielli began to feel guilty for what he had done. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and looked down at them. They were dirty. He could still see blood in the cracks of his fingernails. He tried to etch it out, it was a constant reminder. Uncertain of what he was doing, Marcielli put his hands back into his pockets, and let this obscure feeling guide him into the church.

************

Ivangrad, Montenegro 1981

“Yes sir, I’m on my way immediately.”
Commander Marshal Gavrillo hung up the phone. His hand was shaking. He began to sob. The time had finally come. He was going to lose her. He knelt down and began to pray. He asked God for courage to face it, courage to face the rest of his life without her, and courage to teach Radenko to do the same.
Five minutes must have passed already. He had to hurry. He wiped his face and walked speedily to the door. Before he reached the door, he stopped and looked out the side window and saw Radenko. He was playing with his friends in a fort they’d built out of chopped wood. They were playing war, throwing pinecones at each other and using sticks for machineguns. Radenko knew his mother was sick, even knew it was serious, but what he didn’t know, was that the sickness would take her life. The Commander waited at the door, tried to compose himself. “Oh, Sasia,” he cried. Then he drew a long, pained breath and turned the knob.
Radenko could tell by the direction they were headed that they were going to see his mother. And he knew there was something terribly wrong. The look on his father’s face, confirmed it. His narrow, blue eyes were fixed, staring into nothingness. They looked like glass and at any moment they were going to break and spill out. The Commander was a tall, slender man with ash-gray hair, his nose, long and narrow, bowing at the bridge. He was known for his resuscitating smile. But that smile had abandoned him on this day.
It was still early in the morning. The sun peered through the tall, Ivangrad evergreens, casting broken rays of light over the road. The flashing of sunlight seemed to make the situation more urgent. Radenko tried to muster up the words, Dad, what’s wrong? But the words got caught in his throat and a knot began to well up. He tried to swallow, but it only made it worse. He’d figured out for himself what was happening. The feeling was so obscure. He wasn’t prepared for it. He wasn’t ready for any of this, and now, he too began to sob.
Radenko began to remember an event that happened about this time last summer. He was sitting with his mother in a crowd of uniformed officers. His father was going to receive a promotion by Josip Broz Tito himself. Tito was the president of Yugoslavia, and had been for the last forty years. Tito’s cabinet consisted of twelve men and Marshal Gavrillo, was now one of them. Sasia was invited to pin the brass oak leaf on his collar during the ceremony.
When she was called up, she leaned over and whispered into Radenko’s ear, “This is your moment. Come with me.”
She held his hand and walked onto the stage. Tito looked at Sasia, smiled and nodded his head in approval. Tito gave Sasia the oak leaf and she turned to Radenko and placed it into his hand. Radenko had never felt so proud and so nervous at the same time.
Sasia kissed him on the head. “You’ll do fine Radenko.” she assured.
He turned toward his father, who had knelt down on one knee when he learned that Radenko was going to do the honors. He too was now beaming with pride. After Radenko pinned on the leaf, Tito and all twelve cabinet members stood and applauded. Sasia walked over to embrace her husband. Radenko felt like he was ten feet tall, and he owed it all to his mother. It was for reasons like this that he loved her so much. Reasons like this, that she was so extraordinary.

Finally they reached Milos Medical Center where Sasia had been staying for the past two months. When they walked in, Radenko peered down the long hall-way and saw his uncle Petrovich sitting outside her door. Petrovich was Sasia’s youngest brother. He met Radenko halfway down the hall and embraced him.
“Your mother is waiting for you.” he said.
The Commander walked into her room first, then Radenko. Petrovich stayed outside. The room smelled like medicine and laundry soap. Radenko first noticed that his mother looked pail. And she had lost even more weight since he’d seen her last. But she was still beautiful. She had always taken care of herself. Her sickness didn’t bother her pretty blond hair, her brilliant sea green eyes or her deep red lips.
“Hello my loved ones” she smiled.
She’s still got it, the Commander thought, that smile that can fill a man with everything he needs, pure love and devotion, complete selflessness. She was still faithful to her cause.
Radenko looked at her. He was almost able to return a smile. The Commander sat next to her and she motioned Radenko to come over to the other side. She sat up in her bed and held out both her hands. Radenko did the same. She took his hands in hers and caressed his palms with her thumbs. Radenko felt awkward staring down at the IVs taped at her wrists. Her hands were cold and pale, nearly translucent. Veins traced her hands and wrists like rivers on a map. Taking Radenko’s hand gave Sasia a sudden burst of life. She smiled again. This time Radenko was able to return a smile, which pushed tears from the corners of his eyes.
“Radenko,” she spoke softly as if Radenko were a baby. “These past eight years have been the best eight years of my life. I never told you this, but I want to tell you now . . . . I almost lost my life in childbirth with you.” She dipped her head a little to make eye contact with Radenko, who was just staring into the pillow on her lap. “But instead, Radenko, I was granted eight wonderful years with you; eight wonderful years to love you, to hold you and to watch you turn into strong healthy boy. It’s all I’ve ever asked for. I often think of the sacrifice of our Lord and how great it was. He loved us and he gave his life for us. For the first time, I think I understand a little why his love caused him to do what he did. I love you and your father. I always will.”
Radenko couldn’t look at her anymore. He wanted to show he was strong, but he couldn’t. Tears continued to wet his face.
Radenko looked over at the nightstand. He noticed the small picture of Mother Mary cradling Baby Jesus. She had always kept the picture around ever since he could remember. It reminded him of him and his mother. Sasia thought the same thing.
“Look at me Radenko.” she squeezed his hand, “I am happy. This is how you will always remember me. And when you need me,” she paused, “when you need me, Radenko, I will be here.” She reached forward and patted his chest. She kissed him on the forehead and granted him one more of those incredible smiles.
Radenko saw Petrovich in the doorway. He knew he had to leave with him. He looked over at the nightstand again, reached for the picture of Mother Mary and Jesus. He took it into his hands and stared at it for a while. Then he tucked it under his arm and walked out with Petrovich.
Walking down the hall, all the sadness in the world seemed to crash down on him. He was only eight years old. Today he didn’t want to be strong. He began sobbing again. Now out loud. He looked at the picture he’d taken and anger swelled in him. Softly he said, “No Mom” and again, “No.” As they walked out of Milos, Radenko released his grip on the picture. It fell to the ground, causing the glass to break. He kept walking . . . . . and his walk turned into a run.

The Commander, who was still in full uniform, removed his boots and crawled into bed next to his Sasia. He took her into his arms. She caught his hand and brought it to her lips. He began remembering highlights of their life. One in particular, their wedding day; they were dancing. To him, the world was spinning and they were motionless. He looked at her face and said to himself; this woman is my life, my everything. I love her so much. And the look in her eyes hinted she thought the same. Now, as she lay there in perfect repose, he was looking into that very same face, having that very same feeling. He pulled her closer and gave her a kiss on the forehead. That sweet smell, God he would miss that smell. For a moment, it owned him. He could feel her breath on his neck; he counted each one. He promised himself, that for the rest of her life, he would not miss even one breath.
“I love you.” he said.
“I love you.” she