Whose Body? A Lord Peter Wimsey Novel by Dorothy L. Sayers (book suggestions .txt) š
- Author: Dorothy L. Sayers
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āDear me,ā said the Duchess, āI hope the poor girl wonāt get into trouble.ā
āShouldnāt think so,ā said Lord Peter. āThipps is the one thatās going to get it in the neck. Besides, heās done a silly thing. I got that out of Sugg, too, though he was sittinā tight on the information. Seems Thipps got into a confusion about the train he took back from Manchester. Said first he got home at 10.30. Then they pumped Gladys Horrocks, who let out he wasnāt back till after 11.45. Then Thipps, beinā asked to explain the discrepancy, stammers and bungles and says, first, that he missed the train. Then Sugg makes inquiries at St. Pancras and discovers that he left a bag in the cloakroom there at ten. Thipps, again asked to explain, stammers worse anā says he walked about for a few hoursāmet a friendācanāt say whoādidnāt meet a friendācanāt say what he did with his timeācanāt explain why he didnāt go back for his bagācanāt say what time he did get inācanāt explain how he got a bruise on his forehead. In fact, canāt explain himself at all. Gladys Horrocks interrogated again. Says, this time, Thipps came in at 10.30. Then admits she didnāt hear him come in. Canāt say why she didnāt hear him come in. Canāt say why she said first of all that she did hear him. Bursts into tears. Contradicts herself. Everybodyās suspicion roused. Quod āem both.ā
āAs you put it, dear,ā said the Duchess, āit all sounds very confusing, and not quite respectable. 56 Poor little Mr. Thipps would be terribly upset by anything that wasnāt respectable.ā
āI wonder what he did with himself,ā said Lord Peter thoughtfully. āI really donāt think he was committing a murder. Besides, I believe the fellow has been dead a day or two, though it donāt do to build too much on doctorsā evidence. Itās an entertaininā little problem.ā
āVery curious, dear. But so sad about poor Sir Reuben. I must write a few lines to Lady Levy; I used to know her quite well, you know, dear, down in Hampshire, when she was a girl. Christine Ford, she was then, and I remember so well the dreadful trouble there was about her marrying a Jew. That was before he made his money, of course, in that oil business out in America. The family wanted her to marry Julian Freke, who did so well afterwards and was connected with the family, but she fell in love with this Mr. Levy and eloped with him. He was very handsome, then, you know, dear, in a foreign-looking way, but he hadnāt any means, and the Fords didnāt like his religion. Of course weāre all Jews nowadays, and they wouldnāt have minded so much if heād pretended to be something else, like that Mr. Simons we met at Mrs. Porchesterās, who always tells everybody that he got his nose in Italy at the Renaissance, and claims to be descended somehow or other from La Bella Simonettaāso foolish, you know, dearāas if anybody believed it; and Iām sure some Jews are very good people, and personally Iād much rather they believed something, though of course it must be very 57 inconvenient, what with not working on Saturdays and circumcising the poor little babies and everything depending on the new moon and that funny kind of meat they have with such a slang-sounding name, and never being able to have bacon for breakfast. Still, there it was, and it was much better for the girl to marry him if she was really fond of him, though I believe young Freke was really devoted to her, and theyāre still great friends. Not that there was ever a real engagement, only a sort of understanding with her father, but heās never married, you know, and lives all by himself in that big house next to the hospital, though heās very rich and distinguished now, and I know ever so many people have tried to get hold of himāthere was Lady Mainwaring wanted him for that eldest girl of hers, though I remember saying at the time it was no use expecting a surgeon to be taken in by a figure that was all paddingāthey have so many opportunities of judging, you know, dear.ā
āLady Levy seems to have had the knack of makinā people devoted to her,ā said Peter. āLook at the pea-green incorruptible Levy.ā
āThatās quite true, dear; she was a most delightful girl, and they say her daughter is just like her. I rather lost sight of them when she married, and you know your father didnāt care much about business people, but I know everybody always said they were a model couple. In fact it was a proverb that Sir Reuben was as well loved at home as he was hated abroad. I donāt mean in foreign countries, you know, dearājust the 58 proverbial way of putting thingsālike āa saint abroad and a devil at homeāāonly the other way on, reminding one of the Pilgrimās Progress.ā
āYes,ā said Peter, āI daresay the old man made one or two enemies.ā
āDozens, dearāsuch a dreadful place, the City, isnāt it? Everybody Ishmaels togetherāthough I donāt suppose Sir Reuben would like to be called that, would he? Doesnāt it mean illegitimate, or not a proper Jew, anyway? I always did get confused with those Old Testament characters.ā
Lord Peter laughed and yawned.
āI think Iāll turn in for an hour or two,ā he said. āI must be back in town at eightāParkerās coming to breakfast.ā
The Duchess looked at the clock, which marked five minutes to three.
āIāll send up your breakfast at half-past six, dear,ā she said. āI hope youāll find everything all right. I told them just to slip a hot-water bottle in; those linen sheets are so chilly; you can put it out if itās in your way.ā 59
āāSo there it is, Parker,ā said Lord Peter, pushing his coffee-cup aside and lighting his after-breakfast pipe; āyou may find it leads you to something, though it donāt seem to get me any further with my bathroom problem. Did you do anything more at that after I left?ā
āNo; but Iāve been on the roof this morning.ā
āThe deuce you haveāwhat an energetic devil you are! I say, Parker, I think this co-operative scheme is an uncommonly good one. Itās much easier to work on someone elseās job than oneās ownāgives one that delightful feelinā of interferinā and bossinā about, combined with the glorious sensation that another fellow is takinā all oneās own work off oneās hands. You scratch my back and Iāll scratch yours, what? Did you find anything?ā
āNot very much. I looked for any footmarks of course, but naturally, with all this rain, there wasnāt a sign. Of course, if this were a detective story, thereād have been a convenient shower exactly an hour before the crime and a beautiful set of marks which could only have come there between two and three in the morning, but this being real life in a London November, you might as well expect footprints in Niagara. I searched the roofs right alongāand came to the jolly conclusion that any person in 60 any blessed flat in the blessed row might have done it. All the staircases open on to the roof and the leads are quite flat; you can walk along as easy as along Shaftesbury Avenue. Still, Iāve got some evidence that the body did walk along there.ā
āWhatās that?ā
Parker brought out his pocketbook and extracted a few shreds of material, which he laid before his friend.
āOne was caught in the gutter just above Thippsās bathroom window, another in a crack of the stone parapet just over it, and the rest came from the chimney-stack behind, where they had caught in an iron stanchion. What do you make of them?ā
Lord Peter scrutinized them very carefully through his lens.
āInteresting,ā he said, ādamned interesting. Have you developed those plates, Bunter?ā he added, as that discreet assistant came in with the post.
āYes, my lord.ā
āCaught anything?ā
āI donāt know whether to call it anything or not, my lord,ā said Bunter, dubiously. āIāll bring the prints in.ā
āDo,ā said Wimsey. āHallo! hereās our advertisement about the gold chain in the Timesāvery nice it looks: āWrite,āphone or call 110, Piccadilly.ā Perhaps it would have been safer to put a box number, though I always think that the franker you are with people, the more youāre likely to deceive āem; so unused is 61 the modern world to the open hand and the guileless heart, what?ā
āBut you donāt think the fellow who left that chain on the body is going to give himself away by coming here and inquiring about it?ā
āI donāt, fathead,ā said Lord Peter, with the easy politeness of the real aristocracy; āthatās why Iāve tried to get hold of the jeweller who originally sold the chain. See?ā He pointed to the paragraph. āItās not an old chaināhardly worn at all. Oh, thanks, Bunter. Now, see here, Parker, these are the finger-marks you noticed yesterday on the window-sash and on the far edge of the bath. Iād overlooked them; I give you full credit for the discovery, I crawl, I grovel, my name is Watson, and you need not say what you were just going to say, because I admit it all. Now we shallāHullo, hullo, hullo!ā
The three men stared at the photographs.
āThe criminal,ā said Lord Peter, bitterly, āclimbed over the roofs in the wet and not unnaturally got soot on his fingers. He arranged the body in the bath, and wiped away all traces of himself except two, which he obligingly left to show us how to do our job. We learn from a smudge on the floor that he wore india rubber boots, and from this admirable set of finger-prints on the edge of the bath that he had the usual number of fingers and wore rubber gloves. Thatās the kind of man he is. Take the fool away, gentlemen.ā
He put the prints aside, and returned to an examination 62 of the shreds of material in his hand. Suddenly he whistled softly.
āDo you make anything of these, Parker?ā
āThey seemed to me to be ravellings of some coarse cotton stuffāa sheet, perhaps, or an improvised rope.ā
āYes,ā said Lord Peterāāyes. It may be a mistakeāit may be our mistake. I wonder. Tell me, dāyou think these tiny threads are long enough and strong enough to hang a man?ā
He was silent, his long eyes narrowing into slits behind the smoke of his pipe.
āWhat do you suggest doing this morning?ā asked Parker.
āWell,ā said Lord Peter, āit seems to me itās about time I took a hand in your job. Letās go round to Park Lane and see what larks Sir Reuben Levy was up to in bed last night.ā
āAnd now, Mrs. Pemming, if you would be so kind as to give me a blanket,ā said Mr. Bunter, coming down into the kitchen, āand permit of me hanging a sheet across the lower part of this window, and drawing the screen across here, soāso as to shut off any reflections, if you understand me, weāll get to work.ā
Sir Reuben Levyās cook, with her eye upon Mr. Bunterās gentlemanly and well-tailored appearance, hastened to produce what was necessary. Her visitor placed on the table a basket, containing a water-bottle, a silver-backed hair-brush, a pair of boots, a small roll of linoleum, and the āLetters of a Self-made 63 Merchant to His Son,ā bound in polished morocco. He drew an umbrella from beneath his arm and added it to the collection. He then advanced a ponderous photographic machine and set it up in the neighbourhood of the kitchen range; then, spreading a newspaper over the fair,
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